Where Secrets Lie

by R E Gauthier

  “Of course; I think I could use a shower as well.” Miranda sent a quick wink and a smile in Kelsey’s direction as she took Nanna’s arm.

  The image of a naked Miranda standing in the shower assaulted Kelsey’s mind. Most of the time her fiancée kept her thoughts to herself since they returned from Fiji. Having perfected the blocking technique Nanna taught her, Miranda only disregarded the block when it suited her to tease or taunt Kelsey into action. Wanting desperately to take Miranda up on the invitation, Kelsey shook her head and mouthed the word: ‘later.’ She needed to keep her head and ask Nanna about the book. If Kelsey wanted to learn about Nanna’s possible sabotaging her visions and memories, she needed to get that book and see if Nanna had herbs and or incantations that could keep her from having visions or could alter the ones she did have.

  Miranda tossed over her shoulder, “Kelsey, could you make me a tea as well? I’d love a chamomile tea. It would seem I have a huge headache all of a sudden.”

  Concern rose inside Kelsey until she saw the mischievous smile on Miranda’s lips. “Yes, of course. I hope we can keep the plans I made for us after dinner; if your headache is gone by then.”

  Nanna chuckled. “You two don’t have to step around the fact you want to have sex when I’m around. Kelsey our conversation can wait. The two of you have been straining against your natural inclinations since you returned from your Valentine’s getaway. Relationships take work, and I don’t want you to go without on my account.”

  Glad Nanna had her back to Kelsey as she climbed the stairs, Kelsey buried her head in her hands. She was sure her cheeks were beet red as she could feel the heat of the blush rise from her throat. “Nanna,” she whined. “I wanted to talk to you about this…it’s something I need to ask you.”

  Nanna’s stern voice returned. “Mo Chridhe, I think I’ll go for a nice walk after my shower. We can talk about whatever it was you wanted to talk about when I get back from my walk.”

  Knowing there was no sense arguing with her grandmother, Kelsey nodded slowly. A smile brightened her face when she saw the small finger forming a beckoning crook at Miranda’s side as she climbed the stairs beside Nanna. “Have a nice walk Nanna, and I’ll be waiting for you with a tea when you get back.”

  Nanna leaned over to whisper in Miranda’s ear.

  Miranda giggled and whispered back.

  Kelsey heard the words as clearly as if Nanna and Miranda had said them in her ear. Nanna’s question was to the point: “Would you like me to take a long walk today?” Miranda’s response: “Oh Nanna, you’re bad.” Kelsey’s blush deepened. She had thought all morning about how she would get Nanna to hand over the family’s ancient secrets; now she had a small, but a very pleasurable reprieve. Thank you, Nanna.

  ***

  Kelsey’s damp hair reminded her of the shower she and Miranda had shared before and after they took their lovemaking into their bedroom. As always, Miranda was very thorough and didn’t need any prompting or directions. Kelsey knew her fiancée had been with other women, but when they were intimately caressing one another, she felt as though Miranda and she had loved one another their entire lives. A broad smile formed when she thought of how easily Miranda could make her forget about everything but the two of them.

  Kelsey’s musings were carrying her off to a pleasurable memory when she heard a deep throat-clearing sound. She turned toward the sound to see Nanna enter the sunroom.

  “We can postpone this conversation you asked for if you’d rather go off and find your fiancée.”

  The heat rose up on her face. “Nanna, you really should stop doing that. Reading Miranda and my thoughts and feelings are quite intrusive.”

  “Well, you two should remember what I taught you about blocking me then. I should show Miranda about using selective blocks; that way she can tease you without embarrassing you. I’m hoping once you two get married, you won’t let me stop your natural inclinations for each other.” Smirking, Nanna sat down on the bench next to Kelsey.

  Kelsey looked as if she had just remembered that Nanna had told her how to selectively block someone or use an individual block to stop specific thoughts or feelings from one person in particular. Kelsey had been using the latter to keep Nanna from knowing she was still investigating the night of September 2, 1990. Shrugging, Kelsey tried to seem effortless. She had wanted Nanna to read some of her thoughts if only to make sure she didn’t get suspicious of Kelsey’s actions. “About that, I remember you reading to Aisling and I from a big old book. Do you still have it?” All earlier thoughts of being vague and sneaky went out the window when this conversation gave her the perfect segue, she decided to be direct and to the point when broaching the topic of the old book.

  Nanna’s face brightened. “You have never had any interest in family history or learning more about your gift; why has that changed now?”

  “Well, I thought I wanted to do something unique for my wedding vows to Miranda. She loves it when I say something in ancient Gaelic. Imagine if I said my entire vows in Gaelic for her? I thought, what better way to practice my Gaelic than to try to read from the book. At the same time, I can also learn more about my family’s heritage and how my gift works.” Kelsey hoped it sounded natural for her to want to see the book.

  Nanna smiled and reached out and took Kelsey’s hand. “That would be very special. I would be honored to help you learn how to speak better Gaelic, but it’s not necessary for you to read that big, old dusty book to learn.”

  Kelsey hadn’t wanted to bring up Nanna’s recent visit to the Emergency room via an ambulance, but if it would help persuade Nanna of her sudden interest, she had to use it. “Nanna, I was so scared the day you went to the hospital. Before that day, I never even entertained the notion that you wouldn’t be with us for many years.”

  “I’m not going anywhere soon. We have plenty of time in this world.” Nanna gripped Kelsey’s hand harder.

  “I know you don’t plan on leaving us anytime soon but it got me thinking about all you haven’t taught me about my gift and since I need to work on my Gaelic as well, what better way to do both? Besides I did love the stories you used to read Aisling and I, it would be special for me to be able to read them to my children.”

  Large swells of tears formed in Nanna’s eyes as she sniffed loudly. “Do you know how much I have wanted you to be safe and in love? My only hope for you has been for you to find the kind of love that would make you want to have children of your own, and pass on our family’s history.”

  Kelsey didn’t know why she mentioned having children of her own. She and Miranda had only talked briefly about the possibility of one-day bringing children into their life. They never really discussed how it would come about, if they would adopt or if one of them would carry the child. So many options were open to a woman in this day and age. Pushing the slight guilty sensations away, Kelsey smiled broadly. “Don’t mention this to Miranda, I want it to be a surprise, and we haven’t discussed who will carry or if we may adopt.”

  Nanna nodded and smiled brightly. It will not matter to me, I have prepared myself that the family’s gift would end with you or Aisling but then after that night…” Nanna’s smile faded.

  Kelsey saw the darkness enter Nanna’s eyes. “We don’t have to talk about that night. I told you I would leave it alone and I don’t want to do anything to upset you. I want to be able to have a piece of my family history and the ability to pass it on to the next generation.”

  “Mo Chridhe, you will always be my heart, and now that you have Miranda in your life and she’s is your Mo Chridhe, I should do what I told your mother I would do when this day came. I told her and Catriona, that whichever grandchild got engaged first, I would give the book to them as a gift. The book is yours. I planned on giving it to you on your birthday, but there is no reason to wait until April. I’ll go get it for you.” Nanna rose slowly and turned to go. She stopped and bent down to draw Kelsey into her arms, “Is breá liom tú níos mó ná focail is féi
dir leat cur síos a dhéanamh, tugann tú an-bhród as do theaghlach.”

  Tears welled up in Kelsey’s eyes. Knowing Nanna loved her and was proud of her meant the world to her, but pangs of guilt made her frown. “I love you very much, Nanna,” Kelsey whispered.

  Watching Nanna climb the stairs only made Kelsey’s guilty pang grow more. She hated to deceive her grandmother even just a little but knew if she wanted to find the truth, she needed to keep Nanna in the dark to her motives and actions.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Early Evening at Nanna’s House, February 21, 2012

  The bindings of the book were worn, and the distinct scent of leather permeated the air as Kelsey opened the ancient text. Nanna returned with a large, leather-bound book and then left when she saw the look of reverence in Kelsey’s eyes. Nanna told Kelsey she would be happy to assist her in reading ancient Gaelic text, but Kelsey wanted to look at it and see if she could remember the words as she saw them. On the cover, the worn words were Mná MhicCoinnich: is ea an solas. Kelsey could translate them as Women of MacKenzie: We are the light. Nanna explained to Kelsey that the ancient Gaelic Clans were patriarchic, but the women were the keepers of the home, the family, and the clan history. The men kept the clans, and many Clan names were anglicised to make it easier to say as the English took over the lands. Mc or Mac was “Son of,” so MacKenzie is Son of Kenzie or Coinnich in Gaelic, but behind all men, were women who kept the real peace and clans together.

  The book was immense, and the topics varied from recipes, family lineage, battles won and lost, and healing. There were also tales of honor and love. Kelsey tried to see if she could find the chapter on Aon de dhà Shealladh or One of Two Sights. When Nanna told she and Aisling about their gift of Second Sight many years ago, she had read from this book. Turning the pages with much care, she looked for familiar words.

  Somewhere in the middle of the book, she came upon a part that mentioned children of the second sight. Kelsey could translate words that described how one would block visions for a young child. The writer explained that the world of the dead was too intense for a child to understand. World of the dead. Now, that sounds ominous. As Kelsey kept reading, she read the list of herbs used to make a tea. When the child drank the tea, and the family read the incantations, the child would then cease to have visions. This must be how Nanna had blocked Kelsey and Aisling from having visions when they were very young. If there was a way to prevent the visions, there had to be a way to unblock them. Kelsey kept reading further to learn more about her gift.

  As she read the words, Kelsey felt herself becoming immersed into the world of ancient Celtic lore, and surrounded by her family’s history, her mind opened. As if someone else’s hand guided her own, Kelsey turned the pages to the exact spot. Tabhair, an radharc eile amach, jumped off of the page in front of her. The words loosely translated to: Bring forth the other sight. Kelsey knew from her grandmother’s stories that babies were born into the world with limited sight and as they grew, they saw with their eyes, but a child blessed with the gift of Second Sight would also develop the other sight, which they would see with their mind. Knowing she may have found the right incantation, Kelsey settled down on the sunroom bench and began to translate the words.

  Tabharfaidh an aois radharc bronntanas don Dara Radharc freisin. Ní mór don leanbh a bheith freagrach as a bheith mar Choimeádaí ar Domhan na Mairbh. Kelsey read the words once more. World of the Dead. There it is again. Kelsey didn’t remember ever hearing Nanna mention her gift as looking into the world of the dead. But here in the ancient Gaelic language of her ancestors, they described that the coming of age meant a child with the gift of Second Sight would be the Keeper of the World of the Dead. A shudder ran through Kelsey. Did she want that responsibility? Keeping the World of the Dead didn’t sound all that appealing.

  Do I want to open myself up to seeing into the World of the Dead? Kelsey thought about it for several moments. Her visions came with a price. Not sure if she wanted to embrace her gift fully if it meant she would be opening up some portal between this world and the other. The responsibility is a heavy burden. One that the child must be fully capable of committing to, Kelsey translated from the text. Nanna hadn’t taken this lightly, and all she ever did was to protect Kelsey and Aisling from taking on something they were not prepared to assume. The mantle of Keeper of the World of the Dead was a serious one. Led to believe all these years, that the gift, she was born with, was merely a means to learning some future occurrences, or reading someone’s thoughts or feeling, were, in fact, something much more.

  Wishing she could talk to Nanna about this, Kelsey closed her eyes. For as long as she could remember, the priority of learning the truth about the night Aisling and her family died, drove her to this moment. As deterred as Kelsey should be, about unleashing a gift she may not be ready to handle, she pushed forward because she had to. The need to know the truth drove Kelsey to go past her apprehension and read more about how she could awaken her gift’s full potential.

  Kelsey read on and found the herbs she would need to burn and the incantation to say, that would open the door her grandmother had built and closed years ago. To think that the visions and glimpses of other’s feeling and or thoughts could be only a small portion of what she would be capable of, worried Kelsey. Nibbling on her lip, she read the series of instructions she had to perform. She needed to find a piece of petrified or fossilized oak from Scotland. Where the heck, will I locate that?

  Taking her phone out, Kelsey texted Nikki: Where can I find a piece of fossilized or petrified oak from Scotland? Nikki texted back, ??? Kelsey thought of how she could explain without speaking to Nikki, not finding a solution, she got up with the book, dressed in her coat and boots, grabbed her car keys, and yelled she’d be back in a little while. Closing the door to the house, Kelsey walked to her car and pressed the call icon for Nikki. Nikki answered on the first ring.

  “Mack, what the heck? Why do you need a piece of petrified oak from Scotland?”

  Kelsey smiled and jokingly said, “I need it for the spell I have to cast to open the door to the World of the Dead.” A long pause followed that statement. Kelsey knew Nikki was trying to process what she had just told her. “If my ancient Gaelic translation is correct, I need to imbue the stone with my spirit to protect me when I enter into the World of the Dead.” Still, Nikki remained silent. “Nikki. Are you still there?” Kelsey only heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of her phone.

  “Okay, Mack. Let me see if I have this right. You have the book of ancient Druid history in your family, and they said you need to open the door to the World of the Dead so you can see your visions unobstructed, is that right so far?”

  “Put in the simplest way, yes. Nanna told us that our gift was some window into seeing things that may occur or receiving what is inside someone’s soul or mind, but she never said it was a door to the other side.” Kelsey held her breath because she knew she was asking Nikki to take in a lot. Fear that her best friend may think she had lost her mind; she hurriedly said, “It would seem Nanna didn’t do this to keep things from me, but to keep me safe. When the door to the other world opens, I need to be able to keep myself intact.”

  “Mack, I’m sorry this sounds too ‘out-there’ if you know, what I mean. Do you think that this will work? Do you think you can do this? If you can perform this ritual, can you control it?”

  Kelsey had thought of all of the same concerns Nikki had but knew she couldn’t back out now. “I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into, nor do I know if I can handle it. I’m not even sure I can do what they instruct me to do in the book. All I do know is that I cannot stop now. Knowing that I need to do this to learn the truth of that night is more important than my fear of the unknown.”

  “Fear of the unknown? Mack, they’re talking about you opening up some gate to the dead. They said you need to protect your soul in a stone. What you’re planning on doing isn’t a little spell to remove one your g
randmother cast on you so you wouldn’t see something awful in your past. This is serious shit here.”

  Kelsey chuckled nervously. “There is a possibility it’s just some sort of family folklore. My ancestors may have only done this ritual to pass on a rite of passage. I don’t think I will be opening up an actual gate, door, or portal to another world.”

  Nikki laughed, but it didn’t sound like it was a laugh of humor. “You cannot ask Nanna about this?”

  “No, I cannot ask her about this. I don’t want to tip her off that I’m on this track. She’ll immediately know that I’m trying to find the truth about that night. I have never expressed any interest in learning my gift’s true power. Asking her to tell me now, would only make her suspicious to my motive. Right now, Nanna thinks I’m trying to learn to speak better Ancient Gaelic to write and say my wedding vows to Miranda with it. I said I did want to learn more about my gift, but I’m sure she thinks I’m looking into what my gift can do, not actual incantations.”

  Nikki giggled. “That’s how you got her to give you the book. You preyed on Nanna’s romantic side and her love of passing on family culture. That’s pretty darn clever if I do say so myself.”

  Kelsey smiled. “I’m pretty impressed with my ingenuity too. I was trying to think of a way, but then it came to me.” Kelsey didn’t think Nikki needed to know how Nanna thought Kelsey and Miranda’s relationship needed some intimate time or how it opened her up to thinking romance would persuade Nanna to give her the book.

  “So, if you cannot ask Nanna, is there some way you can learn about your gift before you unleash it fully onto yourself?”

  “Maybe you can help me with that. Is there a way for you to search for text about the Second Sight? Is there a scholar or professor that is an expert on ancient paranormal experiences or ancient occult?”

  Nikki blew out a loud whistle. “Mack, I’ve done many searches, but this is a new one for me.” After a short pause, Nikki continued, “Okay, give me some time to look for what we need, and then I’ll text you. We can meet at the office and do what we need to there. Can you get the other things on your end?”