Of course, when his own impulsive need to see her, touch her, talk to her again led him to pack up his car and leave Hamlet in his rearview, he forgot one major thing. That, no matter what, she held his heart in her dainty, little hands. Seeing her beautiful eyes fill with tears made him ache.
“Come here, Tessa.” He opened his arms for her. She pushed off of the recliner, shuffling uncertainly toward the safety of his embrace.
Lucas reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her onto his lap. As she laid her head against his chest, his fingers ghosted over the tousled waves of her hair. He cocooned her in his arms. He was always amazed at how perfect they fit together. As if they were made for each other.
Tessa glanced up at him. His gaze grew so heated as their eyes locked, she felt like she was melting. In moments like these, when he looked at her like that, Tessa wondered how she could ever compare this man to ice.
“I missed you,” she admitted. Knowing he was hers at last, waiting for him for these last six weeks, it had been torture. She didn’t know how she was going to make it another six weeks. So what if he came all this way to scold her? She didn’t care. Not when she could hold him.
“I love you,” he told her.
And definitely not when he said that. In a matter-of-fact tone because his love for her was something that just was, so simply stated because it was as part of him as his being a doctor. Forget about melting. Tess burned for Lucas De Angelis.
She snuggled into his embrace. For the first time since they set their plan into motion, she felt like she could breathe again.
25
When they started their affair more than a year ago, neither one of them ever anticipated what it would become. What started out as a spark of attraction, blossomed into a firestorm of epic proportions that eventually burned everyone in its path.
It began innocently enough. Six years ago, when Tessa was a fresh-faced undergrad student still taking nursing courses, Lucas visited her college campus as a guest lecturer.
Though he was the only doctor in Hamlet, he was extremely intelligent, highly educated and had a desire to get out of there as often as he could. He wouldn’t leave his sister on her own for long, and Caitlin refused to let him out of her sight for more than a few days at a time, but he used his profession as an excuse to momentarily escape either by taking classes, attending seminars, or giving lectures.
It was during one of those lectures that the young woman caught his attention. Tessa Ryan. From the moment he first laid eyes on her, Lucas knew she was meant to be his. His one and only. He always understood that his marriage to Caitlin was nothing more than a front; already crumbling, it wouldn’t outlast his initial attraction to a light-haired, golden-eyed co-ed.
At first, it was innocent. They exchanged emails from time to time, even continuing to talk after Tessa switched her major from nursing to education. It wasn’t long before they fell in love, though neither one acknowledged it for quite a while.
Lucas was still married to Caitlin. Tessa was in a committed relationship with Jack Sullivan that only grew more serious as the years passed.
Since she never thought she would have a future with a married man, when Jack proposed, Tess accepted.
Lucas immediately tried to convince her to change her mind. He offered to divorce Caitlin right away. Tessa refused. He had his life. She had hers. He was established in Hamlet and wouldn’t leave—as quick as he was to toss his wife to the side, he wouldn’t budge on that point. Tessa wanted to finish school. She didn’t want to go to Hamlet.
Not yet, anyway.
As much as she cared for Jack, the passion she felt for Lucas wouldn’t die. She forced herself to ignore it, going so far as to stall her engagement to Jack for as long as possible until she simply ran out of excuses.
Three years after he proposed, Tess married Jack in a simple courthouse wedding. That day, she promised that she would give her new husband everything she had. He wasn’t the one who gave her butterflies in her stomach, but he loved her and did his best to do right by her.
It was enough. It had to be.
She emailed Lucas the morning after her wedding and told him it was over. He showed up two days after she returned from her honeymoon, cornering her in the parking lot at the school where she worked before basically begging her to leave her new husband. Caught up in a jealous rage, he forgot that their fling was supposed to be both carefree and secret.
Alarmed by the depths of his reaction, she refused. It didn’t matter that his inevitable divorce to Caitlin was final and had been for years. She owed too much to Jack. She wouldn’t leave him.
Lucas went back to Hamlet alone, already plotting how to change that. And while Tessa managed to avoid contacting him for nearly three weeks after her wedding, she eventually rekindled their long distance romance. She wanted to stay away and she tried to—but Lucas was all too willing to wait. A patient hunter, he let Tessa come back to him, knowing that once she did, he'd never let her go.
And he didn't. Emails and stolen phone calls became weekend-long trysts when Jack was away on business and Caitlin thought Lucas was out of town for his work. All the while, he kept lying in wait. His problem? He considered another man’s wife to be his. The solution was incredibly clear to him from the start.
Get rid of the other man.
Already hatching his plan, Lucas waited. No one—not Tessa, not his ex, not his sister—could tell the depths of his plotting. After Mack Turner, this one would be a cinch. Methodical and precise, he approached it as he would any other operation. The goal? Separating Tessa from Jack Sullivan. Simple surgery.
The doctor was more than capable of it.
Tessa, meanwhile, struggled in her marriage. Six months later, miserable and growing to despise Jack more and more for the sole crime that he wasn’t Lucas, she admitted to her husband that maybe they weren’t cut out for this marriage thing. He had to be thinking the same thing. She knew she was making his life miserable, but he adamantly told her no. Jack wouldn’t let her give up. There would be no divorce. She was in it for life, he reminded her.
Or just his, Lucas pointed out.
It was surprisingly easy to convince Tessa of his plan. Two months of dropping hints, sneaking phone calls, sending untraceable emails and he had her wavering. After another couple of weeks, she agreed that she didn’t see any other way out.
Lucas had always known he was twisted, that a part of him just wasn’t right. Everything was either black or white—he never saw shades of grey. He didn’t want to die alone, so he married Caitlin. Didn’t matter that he didn’t love her, or that he knew she was utterly devoted to him in a way he couldn’t reciprocate. He wanted a partner. He got one.
And when he found himself haunted and obsessed by a striking student in one of his lectures, he knew he would do anything to possess her.
It utterly amazed him that, in the end, his fragile beauty proved she would be willing to do the same for him.
So they planned Tessa’s second honeymoon knowing that a third would follow closely on its heels. Everything, from the nail in her husband’s tire to weaken it to the requested stay in a private room, plus the award-worthy performance she put on for Mason Walsh the night Sullivan died, was plotted to the last detail. Odds were good that one of the deputies would throw her in the holding cells if she was caught driving intoxicated. Everyone in Hamlet knew about the drunk tank—but an outsider wasn’t supposed to. When Walsh locked her up, he was doing exactly what he was supposed to without knowing it.
It was Tessa who went off script.
Lucas hadn’t expected her to insist on calling the Hamlet Inn. Luckily for them, he was able to do some acting of his own as he convinced both Caro and Walsh that he was Jack Sullivan. Though it caught him off guard at the time, he admitted to Tessa later that it had been a stroke of genius. It solidified her alibi, making it airtight since it was “proof” that she had left Jack alive in the hotel room.
He even went so far as to p
urposely pick the anniversary of his divorce to Caitlin to put his plan into motion because she would be distracted and off her game. The more he pushed, the more he flaunted a “budding” relationship with Tessa, the quicker he thought she'd give up and shunt Sullivan's case off to the side. It almost worked, too, and when it didn't, Lucas didn't hesitate to go to Plan B.
Really, he thought, Caitlin had no one to blame for her death but herself.
All in all, it was the perfect plot. The only evidence remaining that tied Tessa to any of this was the report he received with Sullivan’s tox results. And since he destroyed that, burning the letter and its envelope in a rest stop bathroom two hours away from Hamlet, there wasn’t even that.
Leaning down, nuzzling his cheek against the silky soft strands of her hair, Lucas told her how he got rid of the one thing that might make someone look closer at the crime. Without a doctor to question the results, the tox report would be buried under hundreds of others like it.
No longer frustrated and annoyed, he took great pleasure in assuring his accomplice that they were home free at last. Breathing her in, snuggling her close, he was at peace for the first time in years. At that moment, everything he planned, everything he pulled off, it was all worth it.
“So that’s it then. We did it.” She sounded amazed.
“Mm-hmm.”
Tessa held onto him for a few seconds more before she abruptly pulled away. He let out a throaty growl at the loss of her warmth pressed up against him. Now that she was in his arms where she belonged, he hated the idea of letting her go. It was even worse when she was distancing herself from him.
Then she went on and said, “Luc, there’s time now. We’ve got to talk.”
His stomach tightened. Nothing good ever followed we’ve got to talk. He ran his hands down her shoulder, trying to maneuver her back against his body. “No.”
“I’m serious.”
“You talk. I’ll keep myself occupied.”
She slapped his wandering hand as it made a bid to slip underneath her shirt. “Lucas!”
“Okay. Fine. I’ll behave.” And, to prove it, he wrapped his hands around her waist, moving her so that she was pressed against his middle again. When she relaxed into his hold and sighed as if there wasn’t anywhere she’d rather be, Lucas felt magnanimous. Even though he was pretty sure he knew what was coming next, he said, “You want to talk? Let’s talk. What’s on your mind?”
Tessa didn’t disappoint him. “I feel bad,” she confessed.
“It’s okay. I’d be worried if you didn’t.” Unlike him, Tessa was still young and naive enough to experience things like guilt. He loved that about her, her inability to accept that sometimes the ends justify the means. To Lucas, the fact that she would abandon her conscience and beliefs to follow him blindly into hell only reinforced how much she loved him too. He would never disregard her feelings. They were too precious to destroy. “I know we promised each other that we wouldn’t. Guess it was easier said than done.”
“Yeah.”
“But you know we had no choice.”
“I know. I know.” She fisted his shirt in her hands. “It’s just—”
Lucas scowled. “Walsh.”
The damn deputy had been a thorn in his side ever since he took it upon himself to first comfort Tessa needlessly, then actually fall in love with her. He couldn't blame Walsh for that, not when he knew how easy it was himself, but everything that came after… Walsh had to pay for it.
Lucas had made sure of it himself. And it burned him that Tessa still carried so much guilt when it came to Walsh.
“I know I shouldn’t feel bad about him when he did his best to come between us—even though he never knew there was an us—but I can’t help it. He was harmless. He wasn’t standing in our way, not really. You know I would never have let him. He just wanted to help.”
Harmless. That wasn’t the word he would use to describe Mason Walsh. Conniving. Manipulative. A predator. Attracted by her vulnerability, he saw Tessa as a beautiful woman, a weak one, and he pounced. He wasn’t trying to help her—he was trying to help himself to her.
It amazed him that Tessa couldn’t see that, though it probably shouldn’t. She’d always been too innocent when it came to what the men in her life really wanted from her.
Including him.
All he wanted was her. Every last thing she had to offer, Lucas wanted it all. Furious and jealous of the attention Walsh lavished on his Tessa, he wanted to scrap the plan, start over and make it so that there were three victims by the time they were done. It made it even worse when Tessa fought to spare him. Only her adamant promise that he meant nothing at all to her allowed Lucas to use Walsh as a fall guy instead of adding another body to his count.
He understood exactly what she meant when she said she felt bad. That Mason Walsh was in jail weighed on Tessa’s conscience. That he was still breathing weighed on Lucas.
Taking one of her tense hands, he rubbed his thumb over the top until she relaxed her fist, pressing her palm against his chest. She moved her head forward. Taking the hint, Lucas tucked her underneath his chin. Tessa leaned into him.
He rubbed her back, giving comfort and stealing it with the same caress.
“You knew there would be casualties if we wanted our happy ending. We agreed it was worth it. You gave up Sullivan. I gave up Caitlin—”
She couldn’t swallow her snort. He felt the rush of air at the base of his throat. “What a loss.”
It was a good thing Tessa had her face hidden. He didn’t want her to see the amused expression that danced across his. She would accuse him of not taking her seriously. While the opposite was true, he couldn’t help himself. That petty slap at his dead ex-wife made him grin. It meant that Tessa wasn’t completely wallowing in her guilt. Besides, he couldn’t say he blamed her for that, either.
Lucas met Jack Sullivan face to face for the first and last time when he strangled the man—and, thanks to Tessa, Sullivan was sedated. Caitlin was an ever present threat to Tessa the first six days she spent in Hamlet. The sheriff was nothing but a hassle. It was a relief to finally kill her.
Giving up Caitlin wasn’t so much a sacrifice as a necessity. Lucas was well aware he couldn’t have both women in his life. He made his choice, just like Tessa made hers.
“Are you sorry?” she asked him.
“For what? Killing your husband? Or framing the deputy?”
She didn’t flinch. She knew he was just being honest; he wasn’t trying to upset her or belittle her feelings. Tessa knew him better than anyone ever had, though Maria used to.
Until Turner, at least.
His sister always suspected he had something to do with Mack Turner’s unfortunate accident but, too afraid what it would mean if he had, she started to drift away, using his overprotective behavior as a fence between them. Tessa… she accepted the dark parts of him. Accepted them and loved him anyway.
“For Caitlin,” she said simply.
He knew what she meant. Caitlin wasn’t always supposed to die. The longer Tessa stayed in Hamlet, the more it became clear to Lucas that she would have to go. Plan A was to off Jack. Plan B always involved Caitlin. Once he had a scapegoat in one of her deputies, his mind was made up.
Fueled by her obsession with Lucas and her jealousy of Tessa, she wouldn't stop until she proved Tessa was involved. She was that dogged, and too much of a liability to be left alive.
“Sullivan wouldn’t let you go so we had to make him. My marriage to Caitlin was over years ago but she still had her hooks in me. If I left her alive, I couldn’t be here right now. We wouldn’t be free.”
She was quiet as she digested his answer. “Sacrifices, Luc. Jack’s mine. Caitlin is yours. I guess I’m responsible for Mason. But what about Maria?”
A pang at the mention of his sister, one he managed not to let her see. He wouldn’t give Tessa even the smallest reason to doubt him. “What about her?”
“Are you really going to give her
up, too? For me?”
He thought, by now, that Tessa understood that there wasn’t a single thing in this world he wouldn't be willing to give up for her. Maria would be the toughest, and even that was easier to do than spend another night without Tessa.
“I’ll miss Maria, but she doesn’t need me. Not like you do. She has Ophelia back, as safe as I could possibly make it, and I know she still sleeps with that bat by her bedside. Besides, Sly’ll be looking out for her. She’ll be fine.”
That was the last thing Tess expected to hear. “Sly? Deputy Collins?” When he nodded, she shook her head in surprise. “Wow. I mean… there was that one time I thought maybe, but— but I didn’t know.”
“Nobody does. They’ve hidden it very well. But I’m a big brother and, no matter what Caity used to say, a pretty good detective. I figured it out ages ago. I’m glad.” Reaching out, he caressed her cheek, letting his hand trail down the slender line of her throat. “I want her to have something even a little as special as what we have, mia cuore.”
Italian. Unlike Maria, who let the language slip regularly, she only ever heard him speak it when he tenderly called her mia cuore. My heart. The same thing he pledged to her from the start, when she was a silly little girl who wanted something she couldn't have.
Except now she had it.
To his surprise, her bottom lip started to quiver again. A second later, she pushed against his arm. “Let me up.”
“Tessa—”
“Please, Luc. I want to stand.”
Because he would give her the world if she asked it of him, he dropped his arms down so that she was free. Tessa climbed out of his lap and moved out of the living room.
He hated having even that much distance between them.
It struck him that, with Jack and Caitlin dead and gone, he didn’t have to stay away from her anymore. Pushing up off of the couch, he shadowed her. She went into the kitchen, bracing her hands against the sink. Folding his bigger body around hers, Lucas rested his chin on her shoulder, breathing in her sweet cinnamon scent.
Don't Trust Me Page 25