by B. B. Hamel
But she still doesn’t trust me, after all this…
I don’t know what to do. My desire for her, my longing, is at war with my need for the company. I’m angry she didn’t tell me any of this earlier, but I’m also strangely glad.
If she had told me, I’m afraid I wouldn’t have let myself get so close to her.
But too late for that. I’m already close.
Now I can see everything crumbling… all because I let myself follow my heart like a damn fool.
If she can’t be sure, after all this…
Well, maybe I don’t deserve it then.
Maybe I really don’t.
18
Cade
Three days of hard manual labor pass in the blink of an eye.
Being physically bone-tired helps make time slip past faster than I thought possible.
We’re up before the dawn and down with the sun and working our asses off in between.
I want to talk to Lucy about what happened up on that ridge but even sharing the same bed, we barely see each other. We’re working different shifts, doing different tasks. I get to bed before she does and even when I try to stay up, I’m fast asleep before she comes into the room.
I’m up before her though and I never have the heart to wake her up.
Three days pass like that. I start to think Old Lou is keeping us apart on purpose.
“You look pissed,” Big Bill says to me as I shove a bale of hay through the barn door.
“Thinking about your dad,” I grumble to him. Big Bill is one of the three brothers that help out on the farm: Big Bill, Little John, and Tim.
“Yeah? He piss you off that much?” Bill slaps his enormous hands on his jeans and frowns at me.
“Not really.” I sigh and stretch. My back’s aching and my hands are rough from all the hard work, but that’s not bothering me. I actually like the physical activity. I like finishing a day feeling exhausted but accomplished. “More like I’m mad with myself.”
“Now you lost me there, city boy,” Big Bill says. “Why don’t you take a break? I saw your little girlfriend heading into the house a few minutes ago.”
I feel my heart leap. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Lucy in what feels like forever, and if we’re both taking a break…
“Maybe I’ll do that.”
He grins at me. “A little roll in the hay’ll set you straight.”
I can’t help but laugh. If only he knew.
I wave and head out toward the house, taking off my gloves and shoving them into my back pocket. I can already smell lunch simmering away in the kitchen, probably some hearty stew Ma always favors. I push open the big wooden door and step into the living room.
Lucy’s in the kitchen sitting at the table, a steaming mug of coffee in front of her. She looks surprised to see me.
“Hey,” I say, sitting across from her.
“Hey, yourself.” She frowns a little. “Thought you were avoiding me.”
“Nah. Just haven’t had the time to talk.”
“We’ve been busy.” She looks away, down at the floor.
“Maybe we should, uh, go somewhere,” I say softly, glancing over at Ma who is studiously pretending not to be listening.
Lucy shrugs. “We don’t have to.”
“Lucy…”
She sighs. “Okay, okay. But if you’re just going to yell at me, save it, okay?”
“That’s not what I want to say.”
She looks at me finally and bites her lip. I realize why she’s been avoiding eye contact: there are tears in her eyes.
“Come on,” I say, standing. I take her hand, which seems to surprise her even more, and lead her out the back door. Ma waves a spoon at us as we pass.
We walk along the hiking trail again, this time skirting along the base of the ridge. It’s a nice morning, just past ten. We’ve been up and at it for a few hours already and I can tell she’s just as tired as I am.
We’re not used to this kind of work. Even if I happen to like it, that doesn’t mean it necessarily agrees with me.
She kicks a few stones loose and heads over to lean against a fencepost. A few stray cattle graze not too far off and I can hear the boys riding ATVs around in the distance.
“So what’s going on?” she asks.
“I wanted to talk about what you said to me when we first got here.”
“Yeah? I figured that discussion was over.”
“Lucy…” I trail off and step up next to her. I lean my elbows on the fence and sigh. “I don’t know anything other than the life my father set out for me.”
“I get it, you think the company just belongs to you, but that’s not—”
“Hold on,” I say, interrupting her before she can get angry. “Just listen for a second, okay?”
She bites back a retort and nods.
I take a breath and look out over the field.
“Like I said, I don’t know anything else. I never imagined there could be anything else. I figured I’d live in my father’s shadow, let him torture me, let him always be disappointed, until he died. I got my kicks where I could, lived a hard life, partied my fair share. But in the end, I was always going to take over the company. Even on days when I didn’t want it and thought I’d walk away.”
“Like during the reading of the will?” she asks softly.
“Even then I knew I wouldn’t really give it up.” I sigh and stretch my neck side to side. “That’s changing though.”
“What do you mean?”
I look at her, really look at her. She’s beautiful in the sunlight, her stray hairs gleaming with reflected glow, her skin gorgeous and smooth, her lips pouting and full. The fitted button-down shirt and tight jeans look perfect on her and I know I’m making the right decision.
“You changed that,” I say softly. “Going through this with you changed that. I’m starting to see… well, maybe not having the company isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
She blinks, clearly surprised. “You don’t want it?”
“I don’t know what I want,” I admit. “Maybe I don’t deserve it. Or maybe I don’t need it. But I don’t think that company is what I really want anymore.”
She bites her lip. “If this is some kind of ploy… I don’t think it’ll work.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” I sigh and turn to her. I step closer and she takes a step back, surprised. But I don’t stop, I walk right up to her, grab her hips, pull her against me almost roughly. She stares up into my eyes and I kiss her.
I don’t know how else to explain what I need. This kiss has to do that, has to make it obvious what I really need…
I let it linger. I let her taste it, feel it, my body, my lips. I let her feel what I want.
“It’s you,” I whisper when we break apart. I pull her tight against me, hugging her closer. She grips me back. “It’s you, Lucy. I don’t care if you don’t pick me, maybe that’ll be easier. I can give that up if I can have you.”
“You… I don’t…”
“Believe me,” I whisper. “I love you, Lucy. I fell in love with you and it took me all this time to really figure it out. I can see something different… a better future with you.”
She blinks madly and I can see the tears again. I wipe one away that threatens to roll down her cheek.
“I love you too, Cade,” she says. “I’ve been so confused… I thought I shouldn’t pick you because I love you… I just don’t know.”
I kiss her softly. “It doesn’t matter. Do what you feel is right. I really don’t care either way.” I pull her tight against me. “Just promise that when this is over, you’re going to be mine.”
“I promise,” she whispers.
“Good. I promise too.”
I hold her like that and I don’t let her go for a long while.
It took me this long to finally figure out what I’ve been missing. It hasn’t been the life my father wanted for me, the company, all that shit.
It’s th
is woman, this future with her in my arms.
I don’t know where we’ll go from here. I don’t think it matters. I’m not thinking beyond the next few seconds. I’ve never felt like this before in my life, like it doesn’t matter what happens from here, so long as I have her.
My love, my future.
No matter what she decides, I’ll always have her.
That’s what I wanted, what I needed.
19
Lucy
One Year Later
“Good morning!”
I throw open the curtains.
Cade groans in the bed, covering his eyes. “Oh, god, the light. It burns!”
I grin at him and hop back into bed. He laughs and grabs me, pulling me into his arms. He kisses my neck, my chest. “Easy now,” I say. “We have work to do, you know.”
He sighs. “Can’t we skip it and stay in bed?”
“No.” I kiss him once. “You know that.”
I get out of bed and he slaps my ass. I laugh and skip away as he tries to grab me and pull me back.
He sighs, rolling onto his back.
“Get up, lazy asshole,” I call as I head into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
Even after all this time, I’m still his minder. Well, not exactly. I don’t hold all the cards anymore.
But I definitely have to hustle him out of bed these days. The man only wants to stay in bed with me, and while I love it, we do have to have a life outside of this room sometimes.
He joins me in the bathroom, kisses my neck, and brushes his teeth. We get dressed together, falling into the familiar rhythm and flow of a life spent together constantly since that fateful afternoon one year ago.
As I finish pulling on my sweater, I glance down at the ring on my finger. I’m not used to it yet. I’ve only been wearing it for a week or so and it feels totally foreign to me… but in a good way.
Plus, it’s absurdly big. I asked how much he spent on it and he just winked. “No such thing as too much when it comes to you, my darling Lucy,” he said, which meant it cost in a ton.
“Gazing at the jewels?” he asks me.
I look up. He’s wearing just his boxer briefs, a grin on his face.
I smack at him and he dances away.
“Cut it out,” I say. “We have to go.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He sighs and pulls his suit on. I have to admit, the man sure does clean up well. “My little fiancée.” He grins and kisses me.
“For real this time.” I kiss him back.
“All right. I think I’m ready for the day now.”
“Of course you are.”
We leave the apartment together and take a taxi downtown. We’ve been living in New York for the past few months in a place we picked out together. Before that, we were staying in the absurd house his father left me as payment for that month of hell we went through.
But now that’s for sale. I figure we can do something with the money that we actually like… instead of keeping that absurd thing.
That’s the past, anyway. We’re in this for the future.
The taxi drops us off outside of an enormous glass building. Cade heads inside, striding purposefully. Security lets us through immediately and we ride the elevators up to the top floor.
Cade gives me a look. “Are you prepared for this?” he asks.
“I think so.”
“You don’t have to be here, you know.”
“I know. But if we’re going to do this…” I trail off.
“I’m glad you are.” He takes my hand and squeezes it.
The elevator doors open and we’re instantly swarmed by a million different assistants, managers, and other random personnel. I don’t know any of them but Cade seems to be up to speed on everything, so I let him do the talking.
We walk through the Morris Group’s main offices and into the biggest conference room I’ve ever seen. It’s like something from a James Bond movie, the sort of place evil international villains would gather. Huge wooden table, enormous paintings with golden frames, everything priceless and exuding money and power.
Cade leads me right up to the head of the table. More people filter in, taking seats, until the room is packed.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Cade says and the space settles into silence. Everyone’s staring at him. “I know we’ve been absent for this past year, but now we’re back. So get used to seeing us on a daily basis.”
A man raises his hand. He’s an older gentleman with graying hair and an expensive suit. He looks like he’s never smiled once in his life.
“Yes, Roger?” Cade asks him.
“Am I to take it that this, ah, situation will continue… indefinitely?”
Cade stares at him for a long time before looking at the group.
“I see I’m going to have to address this again, but I hope it’s for the last time.” He stares at them and even I start to shift a little bit beside him.
“The ‘situation’ Roger here so gracefully mentioned is permanent. When Lucy named me the acting owner and head of the Morris Group, I immediately gave her fifty percent of my stake, effectively making us co-owners. Any decision that is made in this business will go through the both of us. I understand this is not how companies normally run, but we are no longer in the business of being a normal company.” He looks at me. “Would you like to address that, Lucy?”
I nod, feeling butterflies in my stomach. I step up to the table.
“We are going to be better,” I say. Everyone looking at me right now probably hates my guts. I’m a nobody from nowhere with absolutely nothing… at least I was before I fell in love with Cade and this all happened.
Now we co-own the Morris Group. And I’m going to be independently wealthy, thanks to the property I’m going to sell.
“Yes, but, what does that mean?” the man named Roger cuts in.
I give him a flat stare, trying my best to emulate Cade.
“We’re going to do good,” I say. “Shareholder wealth will no longer be the top priority. Yes, we will make money and turn a profit… but we won’t be greedy. Initiatives designed to help people will be rewarded. If you want to grow in this company, it’s time to start thinking bigger than just our wallets.”
Roger looks angry but doesn’t say anything else. I look at the others in the room and I see his expression mirrored on some faces… but there are more smiles than frowns.
“The world is changing,” I tell them. “Greed isn’t good. We have enough… we have more than enough. It’s time to start helping people. It’s time to be good stewards of this world.”
The room breaks out into applause and I step back, letting Cade take over the meeting.
He manages it so flawlessly and effortlessly. I suppose that’s from years of doing this under his father.
He’s the day-to-day control… and I’m the big picture. I’ll make sure to keep him and this company in check.
I’ll make sure they really aren’t being evil, like some other companies want to pretend they are.
We’ll make money... But we don’t go insane doing it.
When the meeting ends, I follow Cade out into the hallway. We’re swarmed again but he parts through the crowd easily. I watch him with a little smile on my lips, impressed with how effortless it really is for him.
He looks back and cocks his head, giving me a quizzical look.
“Nothing,” I say, taking his hand.
We step into our office and he shuts the door. The crowd stays outside.
He takes a deep breath and lets it out. The room’s large, the biggest office in the building. Two desks are set up on either side of the room facing each other with a sitting area in the middle.
“Right or left?” he asks.
“Sorry?”
“Right or left?” He points at the two desks.
I laugh. “Right.”
“You got it.”
He kisses me and instead of going to our separate desks, he draws me over to the sitting a
rea and pulls me down into his lap.
“So, fiancée,” he says softly. “What do you think?”
“I think we’re in for it,” I answer with a laugh.
“But do you think we can do this?”
I stare into his eyes for a long time before nodding. “Yeah. We can.”
“Good.”
He kisses me and I lean into that kiss, letting it linger.
My future husband. I know our visions for this world are in total alignment. We’re going to do some good together…
And if we don’t, at least we’ll try.
We’ve already done some good things. We gave Jan back his recording studio. We fired Jolena from the hospital. We even offered Ma and Old Lou their ranch, but Ma just laughed and told us they couldn’t care less so long as we keep paying them so damn much. Even the news studio got a little boost in morale when we promoted Ken.
So far, we’re trying as hard as we can, but there’s so much more to do. I just know that if I stay with Cade, stick with him, give myself to him completely…
We can do it. We can do anything we want.
I love him, with all my body, heart, mind, and soul. He’s my everything… my future, my gift.
The kiss ends and I wrap my arms around his neck. I don’t move for a little while. We just stay like that, holding each other.
“Shall we get to work?” he asks finally. “Or should we lock that door and—”
“Let’s get to work.” I grin and kiss him. “We can do that other thing later.”
He nods once, squeezes my hand, and we get to it together.
THE END
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