by S. K Munt
‘I’m intrigued…’ I admitted slowly. ‘But I’m afraid that I’m probably not going to believe that any of this is more than a bedtime story before I see it with my own eyes- not even the mermaids though I’ve heard them referenced twice now and had a tail of my own for a brief period last night...’
Bastien raised an eyebrow. ‘How exactly does a fire-breathing angel talk herself into being a sceptic on the subject of magical beings?’
I chuckled. ‘Probably because her friend forced her to read as many science texts as she did fairytales. In the end, everything magical seems to have some sort of scientific explanation behind it. Just think of how many years the last human race argued over the creation story for, before they worked out that they were all half right! God had created all, all right- by creating the big bang. So how can we say that what he did was magic, when perhaps there’s a scientific explanation behind his existence as well? I can breathe fire and humans can’t, but does that make me a divine being, truly… or an alien with trickier DNA?’ I yawned, covering my mouth and muffling my words. ‘Magic is a wonderful thing to believe in, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder if it’s just a science that hasn’t been figured out yet.’
It was the shepherd’s turn to laugh gently. ‘I can’t work out if that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, or the most intelligent. Though when it comes down to counting myself as an alien, I’m more inclined to believe the former.’
I smiled at him, pleased to know that like magic, I wasn’t that easy to figure out. ‘Well don’t worry. Tomorrow I’ll come out with something crazier and you’ll forget all about my theory about science versus theology and angels versus aliens. I once spent two weeks researching the whole chicken and the egg conundrum before I decided that the egg had to have come first. Kohén was so mad at me for ignoring him while I pored over books that he-’ my voice broke off- broke as in snapped when something inside me snapped too. The fact that I’d never again get the chance to irritate Kohén in such a harmless way- in a way that we had a chance of making up over after- winded me and caused my eyes to fill with tears. Oh God, I missed him so much!
‘Larkin?’ Bastien asked gently, but I stared down at the fur that he had laid across my lap and said hoarsely:
‘Never mind…’ I toyed with the fine hairs, tugging at them, wondering again if my wish to make Kohén fall out of love with me had made his love turn to hate. ‘It’s a stupid story…’
Don’t think about him! You cannot think about him! Wherever he is, if he’s thinking about you it’s with hate, not having a chuckle over your ridiculous squabbles over the years! You and Kohén always found a way to bury the hatchet before… but not this time Larkin, he’s gone! In fact the boy you once loved isn’t just gone- he never existed! Don’t allow yourself to long for your friendship because it was a FARCE! You have not lost him- you have escaped him!
‘You were right… the egg did come first,’ the shepherd said quietly, resting his hand over mine. ‘It would have been conceived by mutation from another animal similar to it… just like we were.’ He shrugged. ‘But where you believe that there is a scientific explanation behind everything magical- I’m afraid that I must insist that the reverse is often true as well. Is that something you could open your own mind to? The fact that miracles come in all ways, and not just in answered prayers?’
My cheek twitched in a smile but I still didn’t look up, knowing even the slightest movement would shake the tears from my eyes- and I wanted them to evaporate where they were. ‘Something tells me that life on this side of Eden’s fence will leave me no choice but to consider it that way as well. Don’t get me wrong, Bastien, I’d like to believe in miracles. It’s just…’ It’s just hard for me to believe in anything anymore.
There was a pause and then: ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
Talk about the boy I’d loved that had molested me in front of his twin brother in the name of love with the father that had put me in that situation? No, I really didn’t, and so I leaned back, closed my eyes and shook my head, trapping my hot tears behind my eyelids. I was so tired- tired and beginning to crumble emotionally now that I was somewhat comfortable- like a hard biscuit dipped into warm cinnamon milk.
‘Do you want me to tell you about the pirates then?’ he asked softly.
Yes, yes I did. But by the time he’d started listing different bands of pirates in different parts of the world; The Copperheads, the Kingslaters, The Arrows, The McIntyre’s and The Finnegan’s, I was falling asleep again, and glad for it, because for the first time in my entire life I’d just been tucked into bed and regaled with bedtime stories by a man that knew everything about me, and apparently wanted to have a relationship with me anyway.
I couldn’t think of him as my father yet, but the fact that he wanted me to was enough to make me believe in miracles, even if was only for a moment.
PART TWO
10.
Hope Station
Larkin
Monday August 23rd, AA644
I slept dreamlessly for what seemed like an eternity, and awoke shocked and disoriented late on Monday afternoon, roused from my sleep by the sound of people yelling.
I didn’t know that I’d been out of it for eighteen hours when I woke up, though. I was still so tired that it felt like I’d only had an hour’s sleep, and was so sweaty and hot that I kicked off the pelt that I’d burrowed under like it was a burning object, and had to talk myself off peeling off the flannelette jumpsuit that was clinging to me with sweat. I had been feeling a chill when I’d fallen asleep, but I’d obviously been too tired to be aware of when I’d started overheating again and now, I felt wretched and achy all over, from my head to my toes. Moaning and groaning and praying that my clothes had had the chance to dry, I moved to the door of the cabin and froze when I saw Sam standing there, grinning at me and holding out my folded and laundered clothes.
‘Ask and you shall receive, Dragon-Lady,’ he said, bowing slightly, and I sighed and snatched my clothes out of his hands as I rubbed my aching head.
‘Fine- then I want my rock back.’
‘Sorry, I had to lend it to someone else that arrived this morning. You were out of it and their thoughts were a bit too much for me, so I came and pried it out of your hand.’ He stepped back and waved for me to go back inside. ‘Go, get changed and I’ll try and find another piece of amber for you. And don’t worry about the yelling-’ he followed my eyes to the two men that were standing up on the platform, the ones that were involved in a heated argument that had progressed past name-calling and to shoving. ‘They always get like this- one of them will knock the other out sooner or later, and that seems to fix them up for awhile.’
‘You know them?’ I asked, but Sam shook his head.
‘Nah. I just… you know…’ he twirled his finger around his head and I sighed and slid the rusty door shut between us. I appreciated the fact that Sam had sensed my distress from how hot I’d gotten, but I didn’t like the idea of having slept so heavily that I’d been physically unaware that someone was in my quarters with me and taking something from my hand. In reflex, my hand went to the diamond necklace around my neck, testing to make sure it was still there.
‘I’m offended!’ Sam called back through the door.
‘You’ll be a lot more than offended if you don’t get out of my head!’ I called back, pausing in the middle of disrobing to claw a bit of sleep out of the corner of my eye.
Yuck! How long have I-
‘It’s four on Monday-’
‘I swear to GOD that if you-’
‘You’re welcome, Dragon-Lady, but for what it’s worth, I’m sure you’d catch more male victims by going topless than you would by breathing fire!’ Then I heard Sam laughing as his footfalls retreated, so I rolled my eyes despite the fact that my lips had curved up a little. He was a headache and definitely too much to take before I’d had the chance to wake up properly, but it was handy having him around, I supposed, at least when
it came to getting my laundry. Smiling wickedly now, I slipped into my black suede pants and deliberately thought:
In fact, he’d make an excellent butler, or a maid. I don’t even have to ring a little bell when I need something! I could mentally tell him how much I’d like a boiled egg and-
How about I ring your bells huh?!
How about you try, minion? I shot back, buttoning my britches, quickly reflecting on my training in Eden so that he could see me throw a knife directly into the heart of a target and then flipping Kohén over my shoulder during a martial arts class. You might be able to see a punch coming, but you’d have to move really bloody fast to avoid getting hit by one of my mine and seeing as how I’m still waiting for that egg-
Oh shut up!
I smiled, feeling the pain in my skull alleviate as he retreated from it. Not just because I’d won, but because I instantly felt a lot healthier and safer. Quickly, I finished getting dressed, hoping that people weren’t judging me for being so lazy by sleeping the day away.
By the time I stepped out of the carriage, the fight between the two men had quietened but as Sam had predicted, it was because one of them was lying unconscious on the floor. Bastien was busy talking to the one looming over him with red knuckles to match his face, obviously trying to calm the victor down, but to my surprise, no one else around seemed especially bothered by the fight. I spotted the lady that had been fawning all over Bastien the night before hurrying past me with a bunch of dirty plates and asked her what had happened, but she simply shrugged and said that she had no idea- fights like that broke out in the camps all of the time, and it had been awhile since she’d cared enough to inquire as to why.
Georgia did however, hint that the two men had come from rival groups before they’d joined up with The Sequestered, and that most fights that broke out in Hope Station were usually triggered by a minor incident that was blown out of proportion due to pre-established rivalries. Everyone respected Shep so he was able to break up most fights and talk the rivals down after… but he just hadn’t yet worked out how to get people to stop picking fights in the first place.
‘I suppose it’s because you’re all crammed in here, yes?’ I asked her, and she nodded and said that yes, personal space was usually a factor and I nodded, thinking that I’d grown up in such conditions so it was easy enough to empathise. Impossible to solve the problem though, at least until Bastien led us out of there. ‘Is it only the men that clash?’
Georgia laughed. ‘Girl, have you got half a mind? The women are as bad as the men, if not worse!’
I frowned at her, confused. ‘Are you telling me that the women in here throw punches too?’
‘If pissed off enough, the women in here will throw knives, Lark,’ she said, still chuckling, ‘and hard.’
‘I don’t believe it,’ I said, feeling dispirited. I looked around the room, at all of those dozens of unfamiliar faces, and felt a twinge of despair when I saw that they looked a lot less affable now than they had the night before. They were all talking loudly and over the top of one another, the kids that had been sitting down quietly and listening to a story the previous evening were now running in crazy circles through the common eating area while a bunch of adults yelled at them- but made no move to actually get them under control. An older woman and a younger women were slamming things about at the food preparation area while sniping at each other loudly enough for me to hear it from where I was standing (in thick accents that I could not place at all), and that same group of middle aged men that I’d seen sitting together the night before were now involved in a heated argument over the card game they were playing. I didn’t know why their behaviour had dissipated so much overnight and I was not a fan of labelling people, but the word ‘Heathens’ was definitely coming to mind now that I was seeing how they interacted with one another.
Back in Arcadia, the Blue Collar caste was considered to be the most common one, and yet none of us would have dreamed of yelling at someone else in public unless something horrible had happened. And the children…! I bit my lip as one crashed into my leg as he evaded another without pausing to apologize to me, wondering how I was going to get this mob under control if Bastien could not. It was one thing to resent being confined in a cage like an animal, but quite another to act like one, wasn’t it? I’ll bet they can’t even read yet...
Oh… I have a feeling you’re about to eat that ‘Heathen’ label yourself… the words stabbed into my head, but when I whirled around to tell Sam that he’d better be approaching with amber or retreating mighty quickly, I was shocked to find myself staring into a familiar face- at last.
‘Larkin…’ Martya’s lower lip wobbled as she stepped closer to me and extended her hands, reaching for mine. I sucked in my breath when I saw her, mind reeling, heart racing and face flushing. ‘Thank Satan… you really are here.’ She swallowed hard, and I saw that she was filthier than I had been the day before. Filthier, obviously freezing and anxious, but alive and well. ‘Please… I know you’re furious with me right now, but you have to forgive me!’
Thank Satan?!
The prayer paired with a demand for forgiveness hit me like a punch to the stomach, as did the mournful expression on her face and the obvious anxiety in her voice. Martya’s teary, hazel eyes burned with apology, but there was a spark of something else in there that I recognised as well: triumph, and I shivered with rage at the sight of it. It was that same spark I’d seen in her eyes when she’d announced that she’d found a cure for the locusts, and not that dissimilar to the flash of self-satisfaction that I’d seen in Amelia-Rose’s eyes when she’d stabbed our king with her saintly sword, and it told me what I really needed to know: that my ‘friend’ regretted nothing. Oh Martya was clearly sorry for the lies she’d allowed me to believe because I was angry with her for them, but she wouldn’t do it differently if she’d had the chance to because her thoughtless actions had gotten me here where she wanted me to be and in the end, that was all that mattered to her. I wasn’t a mind reader, no, but I had been her friend once and so I could read her face just fine.
In response to her question- and so many others- I pulled back my hand, and struck her so hard that she went flying off the platform, and onto the rotted tracks below while around us everybody screamed and scuttled back. Everybody but Sam, who had bowed his head and was shaking it, but not without a lopsided smile stretching his handsome features.
Who’s the Heathen now? he accused me silently and I didn’t say anything back because I knew it was true. But I also knew that I’d started to shut God out of my life when Martya had sneaked out of my life, and that that had changed me a lot in ways that would affect her too. Martya had wanted a tougher, less emotional and forgiving swan? Well, she was about to get her wish!
I am what she has made me- and the woman she has made is going to make damned sure that no one manipulates her again!
A ripple of chaos swept through the room in response to my strike, washing The Sequestered my way like a wave of spectators. There were exclamations of surprise and excitement but no recriminations for me, so I stood there trembling with rage and anguish, staring down at the girl on the ground while a couple of other people slyly went to her assistance as though afraid that I’d go after one of them that was obviously helping her next.
‘You didn’t have to do that,’ Gabby said, stepping forward and making herself seen, and I slid my infuriated gaze to her, balling my fists and trying to keep in the hot rage that was burning them from the inside out trapped within. Siria stepped up beside her like they were forming a first line against me, but I kept my eyes focused on the twin that had pissed me off the most- the one that had seduced Sapphire Whittaker and had brought about that family’s undoing.
‘You don’t get to tell me what I can and cannot do!’ I said, barely recognising my own voice for the hum of anger that was resonating through it- distorting the sound. ‘You’re not my mother- you’re just the empty vessel that helped get me into this world�
�� right?’
Gabby had glossy black brows that rose in amusement, and lovely red lips that tilted up in the corners in a hint of a taunting smile as she took another step towards me. ‘You’re welcome, Larkin,’ she said, and I saw red.
I lifted my hand to throw a fistful of flames at her, but I heard Bastien cry out in fear and that was enough to freeze my arm, mid-air. ‘You’re welcome?’ I repeated to Gabby, incredulous and still holding the ball of flame. ‘For what?!’
‘For being who you are!’ Gabby snapped, resting her hands on her hips and indicating around the room. ‘Powerful! Beautiful! Destined for greatness! I helped shape you!’ She pointed to Martya, who was crying as she was helped up onto the platform again- crying and bleeding from a cut in her cheek and the corner of her mouth. It pained me to see her like that, but I wasn’t about to show it- or any sign of weakness- in front of all of those people. ‘We both did!’
‘You would be remiss to believe that I am grateful for how I have been shaped, Gabby, or that I would ever conceive of thanking you for the way you have helped my fate along!’ I shrugged off Sam’s hold and went at her, dropping the ball of flames at her feet and causing her to scuttle back until they disintegrated to smoke. ‘You-’ I included Siria in on my glare, ‘both of you have helped me without my permission for the last time, understood? I don’t know what kind of arrangement you have with Satan, but as far as I am concerned I owe her two favours and two favours only so I won’t have you doing her any on my behalf again!!’
‘You can’t limit what we do for Satan-’
‘But I can limit how much you can do for her HERE if I refuse to take another step north in your company!’ I pointed out, and she blanched. ‘I’m doing Satan a favour too, remember? Something tells me that if I tell her that I’ll do this without you or not at all, she’ll agree with the not at all part, so don’t push me Gabby! I think I know who’s disposable here, and who’s not!’