by S. K Munt
But before I could burst into frustrated tears, Martya helped me out by taking the jacket’s sash and securing it low on my hips and under the baby’s bottom to help support its weight, which made it relax its grip a little. Then, she pulled my cloak closed around both of us and fastened the toggles in the front leaving me feeling restricted, constricted and inelegant, but secure. Her face was creased with worry, but she gave me a quick smile as the snow started to blow harder around us and then leaned in to kiss my cheek.
‘Blizzards always end, even if they sometimes feel like they’re lasting forever,’ she said, before pulling her scarf around the lower half of her face so what she shouted at me next was muffled: ‘Keep moving, no matter what, and stick close to the river!’
‘Can’t we just wait in the woods?!’
‘No! They’re too think to offer much cover and sitting still for too long will kill us a lot faster!’ Martya handed me my torch and out of frightened reflex, a tiny flame sprouted out of it only to be immediately be blown out by the wind. ‘If we keep moving, our blood keeps circulating!’
‘But don’t try to race the storm!’ Bastien showed up at my side and started winding a scarf around my lower jaw, while I started rubbing my hand down the baby’s back rhythmically. ‘Set a slow, steady pace, because if we stress or exert ourselves too much, we’ll sweat and develop hypothermia.’
Their advice was both helpful and confusing, and I was afraid that I was about to burst into tears from stress and freeze my eyeballs over. ‘Can’t one of you that actually has experience with this sort of weather take the-’
‘You’re the one that needs to lead us, Larkin,’ Bastien said quickly, kissing my other cheek, ‘and a shepherd’s true place is often at the rear of his flock, anyway. Start moving, and I’ll go make sure that those most vulnerable to the temperature will move closer to you, just in case you need to-’
‘To what?’ I squeaked. ‘Set them on fire?’
But he was already gone.
I started walking and for a little while, I fooled myself into believing that the blizzard wasn’t going to be half as dangerous as it looked, even when the clouds started to pass directly above our heads and the snow started falling with the consistency of rain. The winds were cutting yes, but I could hear them more than I could feel them, and it was actually very pretty once we were clear of the forest- sort of like being in a snow globe. The river was getting wider and shallower, but that didn’t affect us in any real way, at least not then, so I told myself that I could manage this, just as I’d managed to survive everything else.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You weren’t born brave like Martya was, but surely, you’re on the path to becoming brave now, right?
The baby had stopped crying after about ten minutes and had fallen asleep against my chest, and even though I suspected it had probably sobbed itself into an exhausted sleep, the feel of it breathing in harmony with my heartbeat now was soothing to me all the same, like I was walking to a beat. I kept opening my collar to look down at his peaceful but puffy little face, comforting myself with the knowledge that even though it was getting scary out there, the baby wasn’t yet affected by it yet so we were doing okay.
I was doing okay. Not brilliantly, but I hadn’t gotten anyone killed yet and that was something.
The valley had resembled The Wastelands at first, but twenty minutes into it I realised that they were really nothing alike. The only unidentifiable lumps were boulder-shaped and very few and far between, and the snow was firm and shallow, which made walking easier, even though I was walking on a slant in order to stay on the rim of it but without losing sight of the river. In fact, I had to actually remind myself to slow down a few times, because I kept accidentally accelerating to a pace that was fast enough to break a sweat and that was the last thing that I or any of The Sequestered needed.
They all seemed to be doing okay too, and I didn’t have to worry about the kids so much because they were now back on the sleighs and being towed across the flat base of the valley to my right. Singles were following in my footsteps along the angled rim, but it would have been too hard for those pulling the sleighs to tow them along the angled dunes so they’d gone all the way to the bottom of it instead. They were tough, those adults, and I told myself that the next time we stopped for a rest, I’d pull them aside, learn their names, and thank them for making the migration that bit easier on everyone. That was, if we ever got to rest again in a way that wasn’t a final one!
The first few kilometres of that crossing was bearable, but it was silent except for the wind, and I found that unsettling. For days our group had been keeping up an endless stream of chatter (and bickering) so now that it was too hard to talk, the only thing we could hear was that whistling wind so it made me feel a lot more isolated than I truly was despite how desperately I’d been craving peace and quiet the night before. I started singing to myself under my breath, but I gave up after a few attempts because every single song that I knew triggered memories of Kohén, and that was just going to cause my heart and my eyes to ice over faster.
Unmoved by my despair, that weather continued to get worse and the river began to sweep more distinctly towards the left- pulling away from the valley and snaking off towards the coast instead of arcing around as I’d hoped it would. I didn’t want to leave the valley, because it was so nice to have such a clear view of everything again after having been forced to walk such a narrow path for so long… but I knew that I had to follow the water, and so I beckoned people to come up the rim of the valley again before turning northwest, following the gorge wall while squinting to keep track of the icy river between me and it.
Why can’t Martya be right about something good happening? I thought in dismay as the canyon that I’d been counting on for days- the only consistent thing in my life- began to open up exactly as a mouth of a river would as it embraced the sea. Not only was it growing broader, but it was freezing over too, for shelves of ice the size of my bedroom back in Eden started clustering at the edges, becoming one with the sloped, snow-covered embankments before creeping out towards the centre, forming a glassy rim. The evidence of the snow’s domination of that wild river sank all of my floundering spirits, especially as those shelves of ice began to vanish against deep mounds of freshly fallen snow, making it hard to tell where the bank ended, and the frozen waters began. Realizing that I couldn’t let The Sequestered walk over such uncertain ground I stopped, turned to face the herd of humans behind me and then carefully peeled Nadeem out of my jacket before handing him to Siria while his mother looked on with despair.
‘He’s all right!’ I had to shout at her to be heard over the wind. ‘B-But I can no longer see wh-where the true edge of the river is, and I need to try and stay as close to it as possible s-so I don’t lose my b-bearings!’ It was so hard to talk because my teeth were practically slamming together hard enough to splinter. ‘I n-need to go-go ahead of you all a bit so I can scout this area out, and it’s g-going to be risky. If I fall through ice and into the w-water, there is a chance that I will survive because I can fly f-free- but if the b-b-baby gets wet…’ I winced and shook my head. ‘I’ll never forgive myself!’
‘You will fall into the river, and s-soon,’ Arial stretched up to grasp my face while she shouted into it, catching me off-guard. How the hell had she managed to keep up with the people at the front of the pack? ‘But if you keep the broken trees in sight, you will find your way through!’
‘I will?!’ I squeaked, pulling back in horror. I was going to go into those freezing waters soon? Bloody hell! And what did she mean by broken trees? The clouds were so low that I could barely make out the pom pom on top of her navy knitted hat, let alone a tree line anywhere. ‘Anything else I should know?’
But she shook her head firmly. ‘Not that you should know, no.’
‘Enough yammering you crazy old nit w-wit!’ Windsor said, stepping between us and shooting Arial a look of annoyance before turning t
o me with squinted eyes. ‘Ignore her Larkin and focus! St-stay as close t-to the edge as you c-can, and w-we w-will st-stay as f-far b-back as w-we c-can! But w-won’t stop m-moving. We can’t!’
I didn’t know when Windsor had decided to start talking to me like I wasn’t a no-count tree-hugger again, but I nodded quickly and turned to move. However, Sam stepped forward, caught my hand and pulled my amber ring free, stuffing it down into his boot and then slamming a migraine home into my head:
This is one of those moments when you should take advantage of my gifts, you know? he asked, and I nodded quickly, blowing into my hands to warm them up and wincing to see the way that tiny ice crystals were whipping against his ruddy cheeks. All right, you go ahead, and report back anything you see while we follow at a safe distance. I’d like to make it to the foothills by nightfall, but if you think that looks improbable, let me know so I can start everyone digging a shelter or trench or whatever, all right?
All right! I said, and leaned in to kiss his gelid cheek. Thank you Sam! I’ll move as fast as I can and get back to you straight away, I promise. Sam lifted his hand to touch his cheek, and before he could see how not ‘okay’ I truly was, (oh God his fingers were blue!) I turned away and started stalking across those snow dunes, angling myself away from the frosted river and more to the true north, squinting around for the sign of any landmark that might help me find not only my way- but the right way.
But I wasn’t brave at all, and Arial’s threats that I would fall into the water had frightened me further, so I started looking up more than I ought to, mostly to what was left of the canyon’s coastal wall, which was now lying to the south west of us due to the hard left turn we’d taken out of the valley. I was looking for somewhere that I might flutter free to- to some sign of broken trees or turquoise lakes or anything at all- but there was nothing to see but ribbons of snow and mists that were spiralling around me, choking me with every breath that I gasped in now.
I don’t want to die! I thought, hugging myself to keep the wind out of my now open cloak and coat, which I was afraid to re-fasten in case the need to sprout my wings suddenly arose. My legs were aching from struggling through snow that was now almost up to my knees, and my head was feeling light from the oxygen deprivation while my eyes felt like they were going to shatter. I know I said otherwise last week Satan, and I know I haven’t given you any of the faith that you so desperately want from me, but if you’re listening please, help me get these people to safety and I’ll do anything-
But I didn’t get to finish that prayer, because my very next step sent me hurtling over the unseen precipice, and then free-falling into the river below.
Ahhhhhhhhh!
I couldn’t tell how far I was falling or even what direction I was falling in because of all of that white, but I felt the landing sure enough as I smashed not into ice water, but into a mound of snow that was just thick enough to break my fall, but not so thick that it prevented every bone in my body from rattling on impact while the air was punched out of my lungs.
Oh… oh… SHIT! I silently screamed as my left elbow speared me in my own solar plexus upon landing, and my knees drew up to my chest in reflex while my mind spun and my lungs burned. I’d landed on my side, I knew that, but I’d landed in an awkward position, because I’d tried to get one arm out of my cloak on the way down and had failed miserably before trapping it and landing on it. I’d hit my head, shoulder and hip hard upon landing too, and I suspected that the only reason why I hadn’t lost consciousness was because the snow was so cold against my face and neck that it felt like I’d been sprayed with ice water- keeping me TOO alert.
Mother FUCKER that hurt! She said I’d land like a SWAN! How? By swan diving sideways? Crazy old fucking bitch! I’ve had cookies tell my fortune with better accuracy!
Larkin? Larkin what the fuck? I heard Sam ask, as other, real, voices began calling out my name from high above, but I couldn’t respond so I just lay there and stared at my extinguished torch that was lying up near my knees, stunned. Sooner or later I’d probably take a moment to be grateful for the fact that I’d fallen onto snow, not into the water and not onto hard ice… but my gratitude wasn’t going to return until my breath had, so like a fish that had been struck by an oar, I continued to lie there on my side, gaping and panting until I had the sense to flop over the other way and scan the frozen river for signs that I was about to fall through the ice or get eaten by something. There were none, so I gaped and panted some more until finally, I managed to blink and draw in a sliver of icy air.
Larkin? Where are you?!
Sam? I went for another breath and winced when my lungs resisted, then cringed when I spied a few large rocks buried in the snow beneath me. Wow! I’d gotten lucky, all right! I fell. I’m okay, but I need a second… I landed on snow… hard… not water… winded. The water… mostly frozen...
That’s good! But that’s bad! Are you sure you haven’t broken anything? Is the ice you’re on stable? How far have you-
I said I need a second! I thought crankily, and Sam blessedly fell silent. Hold on… I groaned and rolled over onto my belly, before getting my knees up beneath me, and then raising my upper body with the support of my good arm, realizing straight away that I could actually see and hear myself think again, because there was almost no wind down there. And that was because I hadn’t fallen into an open part of the river, but into a tiny pocket of riverbank that had eroded away like the water had taken a bite out of the land instead.
Once I was up on all fours I exhaled before breathing in again, and then gingerly lifted my face to look around, noting that there were rocks imbedded into the embankment’s walls too, which indicated that that little crevice had been there for a while and had fortunately not been created by a massive split in the ice as I’d first feared. Okay getting better- breathing now. Wait… let me try to make sense of what I’m dealing with here…
Okay but hurry! Everyone is very worried and it’s pretty bloody hard to calm them down while I can barely talk!
Give them a thumbs up or something then…
You’re as helpful as Arial…
I resumed looking around, sending a ‘Shush’ his way. I’d been feeling foolish for going over the edge of the canyon, but now when I looked back, I saw that the pocket I was in actually went inland for about ten metres, so it was a good thing that I’d gone ahead because all of us would have fallen into it anyway, no matter how wide a berth they thought they’d been giving the water while shadowing me.
Stop walking. I reached back to grab my torch and then started crawling towards the actual river, through snow so thick that it pushed into my chest and neck, and over rocks so hard and sharp that they cut into my numb hands. The edge I went over is a ditch or something that goes pretty far inland- you’ll need to walk twenty metres to the right in order to avoid doing what I did, and I don’t yet know if there are more like it after.
Okay. So… are you in the lake of your dreams?
I don’t think so. But I should have confirmation for you in a second or two… just be patient. I emerged out in the open, and though the bitter winds were stronger out in that open bowl than they had been in my little cranny, they were blowing back down the river in the way that we’d come, so I could protect my eyes from the stinging snow by keeping my head angled to the north and my gaze to the south.
No, keep your eyes down! Sam snapped, while I was cupping my hand over the top of my torch and willing just one tiny flame to leech out. It did and it held, but it was too vulnerable in that wind to last long. Look at the ice before you step on it! If you can see through it, get off NOW.
Okay, okay… I glanced up quickly, scanning the area, and then down, scanning the ice, which seemed solid to me because snow was piling up on it everywhere and not falling through- mounds that had to weigh a whole lot more than I did. I was on a large ice shelf that was jutting off the embankment now, but I knew it was just a temporary shelf- a recently forged one- because when I looked
up, I was able to make out the river freely flowing past me and back towards the south, as aggressive as ever, if not more choked up with the ice and debris that were in transit along it. I could also see much more clearly down there now that the winds were passing well over my head instead of through me, and though I could tell that at least twenty or thirty metres of ice stretched out in front of me- on either side- the centre of the river was holding its ground and looked incapable of freezing solid. The powerful current also seemed to retain domination over the frost all the way to the opposite side, where the other bank still was.
It’s not a lake, I said to Sam then, sighing in disappointment. But I don’t think it’s an ocean either so, that’s a relief. The canyon wall is only a few metres high now, but it’s still over there, and I can’t tell if there’s land, bluffs or a mountain range on the other side of it from here, so we should stick to the right!
Can’t you fly across so you can check it out?
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see it. Not in this weather- my wings would frost over and I’d crash. I can tell you one thing though- the river gets wider, north of us. I turned and looked that way again, thinking that it looked like a valley unto itself from where I was. The river must be deep and strong enough to keep the current going on the western side, but this eastern side must be a lot broader and shallower, because it’s frozen solid. In fact, if you guys can find a way down here that’s a little less drastic than my way was, we’d probably be a lot more comfortable walking along the river instead of trying to stay beside it. How about you start looking for one while I scout ahead a little more to make sure… and then I saw the broken trees through the snow, and my thoughts dried up.