He escorted me back to my brother. I sat next to him, and he locked the door and drove away.
Tears welled in my eyes as the distance between my son and me grew greater and greater.
Please, Grant, please find him.
10
Grant
Joaquín and Mia sped away from the complex as we pulled in from across that street. I had the target, the tall guy who’d walked Mia out of the complex. I prayed the second that we drove into Marin that Joaquín was taking Mia to meet Julián and for once luck was on my side.
My son was somewhere in that building, and I wasn’t leaving without him.
Ashley grabbed my arm. “No, Grant. Let’s wait. I’ll call the FBI. Once we get a warrant—”
Mitch’s head whipped around. “Warrant? Who the fuck do you think you are?” he yelled at her.
She spat at him. “I’m NCIS Special Agent Ashley Pierce.”
Mitch’s eyes bugged. “Holy shit.”
“It’s true, man.” I narrowed my eyes at Ashley. “But fuck you, Ashley. My son is being held hostage by some thugs. I’m not waiting for the feds. You want to arrest me? Go right ahead. I’ll be back in three minutes with my kid. Be prepared to drive or get the fuck out of the vehicle if you don’t want to be involved. Mitch, let’s roll.”
Mitch parked, and he and I exited the vehicle. Ashley stayed behind, which was fine by me.
The guy was walking up the stairs, and Mitch and I followed him. When the man approached a door, Mitch slammed his ass to the ground, kicked him once in the ribs and then once in the jaw, knocking him out cold. I busted open the door, my gun drawn as I surveyed the place.
A lady screamed, but I wasn’t here for her. I scanned the room and saw my little boy, dressed as a superhero, standing in the corner screaming. I scooped him into my arms and was out the door as quickly as I’d entered.
Mitch and I dashed down the stairs, piled into the truck, and Ashley stepped on the gas.
I secured my weapon and hugged my screaming son. “Hey, hey buddy. I’m your daddy. It’s okay. I’m a good guy.”
I didn’t have a clue if he understood me. He continued to wail, but Mitch and I attempted to calm him down. After a few minutes, my son wrapped his arms around my neck, and I held him tighter than I’d ever held anyone.
Ashley drove straight to the police station and didn’t bother finding a parking spot before cutting the engine.
By this time, Julián’s screams had turned into sobs. Yet when Ashley tried to take him from my arms, he clung tighter.
“There, there it’s okay. You’re going to be fine. We’ve been looking for you.” She turned to me. “I need to take him inside and call the FBI, my office, and Child Protective Services.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “You go find your wife. I hope you’re right about her, but if not, do what you have to do.”
I knelt in front of my boy, Mia’s eyes staring back at me. “I’m your daddy. I love you. I’m not sure if you understand me, but I need you to be brave like a superhero until I come back. Can you do that for me?”
He nodded as his tears continued to track down his face.
“This is Ashley. She’s going to take care of you. I’m going to get your mommy.” I gave him a final kiss and hugged him.
And with that, she carried my son into the police station. I didn’t want to let him out of my sight, but I didn’t have a choice. I needed to go save my wife.
Mitch stared at his phone. “Any idea where he would take her? The tracking shows up somewhere near Mill Valley?”
I smiled. I was this close to ending this nightmare, once and for all. “Mt. Tam. Let’s roll.”
11
Mia
I knew exactly where we were going as I turned to face Joaquín for the first time since leaving the complex.
“Did you know that the day I found the key was the first day in months I had hope to free you,” I offered.
Joaquín grinned. “I didn’t leave you the money so you could help me. I left it so I could take care of you.”
“I know, but you had to have known I would do anything I could to get you out of jail.”
“Well, I never thought you would go quite as far as you did. When Grant brought you to see me in jail, I thought you were smoking hot, but I had no idea it was you. Once you flashed the bracelet, you blew my mind. I couldn’t believe you had done all of this for me. That was when I realized how much you loved me, and that I wasn’t crazy. That what we have is real and that you felt it, too.”
It was real. Our love was real, but it wasn’t romantic love. I was smart enough not to point out that distinction, though.
We drove up the winding hill. I knew where we were headed, but I had no idea why he would bring me up here. He’d agreed to give me space, but he’d also asked me for something in return for seeing my son. I had no way to know for sure, so I kept my purse close to me when he finally pulled into the parking area.
My hands shook as we exited the truck. Joaquín put his arm around me and led me to the dirt patch. The same patch where we’d buried our time treasure years ago. The same patch where Grant had made love to me under the stars after telling me for the first time he loved me. The same patch where Joaquín had hid the safe deposit key. The same patch where Grant had proposed to me just last week.
This one spot held all my secrets, all my bliss, all my pain.
Joaquín stood next to me as we took in the view of the mountains. We were on top of the world, but still, I could feel him looking at me. Waiting.
“I need you to show me how much you love me,” he whispered after what felt like a lifetime of silence. “I’ve given up everything for you. Sacrificed my career, my life. We have no one but each other. But I need to know that you feel the same way I feel about you. Prove to me how much you love me, Angelita Mia.”
“I’ve never asked you to give up anything for me.” I closed my eyes and tried to pull myself together. I had snapped at him, and even though he wasn’t touching me, I could feel his anger spike. I forced myself to turn to him and lay a hand flat on his chest before turning my eyes to his. “You said you’d give me time.”
And then his eyes narrowed as he focused on my right hand. “What’s that on your finger?”
Fuck. My ring.
“Nothing, just a promise ring Grant gave me.”
“A promise ring. What? Are you twelve? Show it to me.”
I pulled it off, and he grabbed it from my hands.
“This is a fucking wedding ring. Did you marry him?”
“No,” I lied.
His hand fisted around my ring. “You’re lying to me. It isn’t an engagement ring, either. I saw the one he bought for you years ago. This is a wedding band. You married him.”
My chin quivered. “Yes. I did. The other day.”
His teeth clenched. “You told me you loved me. That you didn’t love him. How could you lie to me? You’re playing me now. Does he know you’re here?”
“Of course not. You’ve been with me the entire time. He’s in jail.”
“Show me, Mia. I don’t believe you anymore. Show me that you love me.” He held my eyes as he reached into his pants. Vomit raced its way up my throat, and I forced it down. If he pulled his dick out, I didn’t know what I was going to do. When his hand rose again, I almost wished it held his dick instead of the gun he pointed at my temple. “Or we end it here. I don’t believe you want me. If I can’t have you, no one can. Take off your clothes.”
“So, you would do that to me again? You would rape me? That isn’t something you do to someone you love.”
He didn’t flinch. Fuck. He was crazy. Completely unhinged. The weight of my gun in my purse beckoned me, but by the time I reached for it, he would kill me.
He’d raped me once. I’d rather die than have him rape me again. At least that time, I had been passed out. I would never be able to get over this trauma.
“Now.”
I slipped my T-shirt off my head a
nd pushed my jeans down over my hips. I felt the burn of tears behind my eyes as humiliation, anger, and shame stormed through me.
He motioned toward my bra, and as I went to unhook it, Joaquín spun, pointing the gun at the two men who just stepped into the clearing.
At Grant and Mitch.
Thank fuck.
Grant approached us, his gun steady on Joaquín. “Put the gun down, Cruz.”
I didn’t give my brother a chance to choose his fate. I reached into my purse, grabbed my gun, aimed at my brother, and before I could talk myself out of it, pulled the trigger, aiming directly at his shoulder.
It was the perfect shot. Joaquín collapsed to the ground, dropping his own weapon, which Mitch quickly retrieved.
Grant ran over to Joaquín and pointed the barrel of his own gun at my brother’s head.
“No!” I screamed. “No!”
I ran over to my brother, bleeding into the earth, and put myself between him and Grant. “Please, Grant. Please. Help him.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? He just tried to kill me! And you! You just shot him. He raped you and kidnapped our kid.”
“I know. . . I know.” I sobbed. “But he’s my brother. I love him.”
“Dammit, Mia.” Grant ripped off his own shirt and tied it around Joaquín’s shoulder to stop the bleeding. “Call 911,” he barked at Mitch.
Joaquín looked up at me. “I’m sorry, Mia. I love you. I just—”
“Shh. You’re sick. You need help, not another bullet.”
12
Grant
I kept Joaquín from bleeding out until the paramedics and cops came. I wanted to canoe the motherfucker, but Mia had been through enough pain in her life. Mia, Mitch, and I gave statements to the police. Joaquín was placed under arrest for attempted murder, rape, and kidnapping. He was transported to a hospital and would be arraigned when he recovered.
I took Mia back to Mitch’s truck.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head. “No, he didn’t.”
I had to ask. “I saw you in Carmel. I saw you kiss him.”
“Yeah, nothing more than that happened. I had to—I had to convince him I loved him. To find our son. Did you find him?”
“Yeah, he’s at the police station.” I didn’t mention Ashley because I was still under strict orders not to reveal her identity to Mia.
“Now what?” Her body shook, and I wrapped her in my arms.
“Now we file for custody. I’m sure they’re going to place Julián in a foster home until we have a hearing, but we will get him back soon. Let’s check into a hotel and call a lawyer.”
She nodded, and we didn’t say a word as Mitch drove us down the mountain.
We checked into the Tiburon Lodge. Once we were alone, I needed to ask her a question. “Why didn’t you kill him? Or let me?”
She gave a faraway glance. “Because he’s sick. I know what he did was wrong, but he needs help. He’d been fighting his feelings for me for years and thought he was disgusting for feeling the way he did. I know it doesn’t even come close to excusing his actions, or even remotely making them okay, but he needs help, Grant. He’ll go to jail for the things he’s done; he doesn’t need to die. Enough people have been hurt in all of this.”
I held Mia. I would never understand her devotion to Joaquín. But it didn’t matter. We were safe. Joaquín would be locked away for years. And for the first time since she’d left me in the hospital years ago, I knew that she was finally mine forever and I would never lose her again.
13
Mia
Two Months Later . . .
Grant clutched my hand outside the courthouse in Marin County. After official DNA tests, intensive therapy for Julián and me, parenting classes, and visits from social workers, we’d been awarded custody of our son. Turns out, Lorraine had known all along that Julián wasn’t her grandson and had been receiving payments for years from Rafael, who had been involved in arranging his kidnapping. I wanted to beg the DA not to press charges against her, but I knew it would be no use. She had knowingly harbored a kidnapped victim, which made her an accessory to a crime.
But all I cared about now was that I was finally going to have my son. I was as excited as I was scared. As far as he knew, Tiffany was his mother, so how would he react to suddenly having a new mommy?
Grant sensed my fear. “You got this. You’re going to be the best mother.”
The social worker led us to a room, and after an excruciating ten minutes, she brought our little boy into the room. He was holding a teddy bear. I tried to speak but was overcome with emotion.
Grant knelt in front of him. “What’s your bear’s name?”
“Oso.”
Grant talked through Oso in a deep bear voice. “Hi, Julián. Meet my friends. This is your daddy and your mommy. They love you very much.”
Julián smiled and reached his arms out for a hug. I ran over to him and fell to my knees before gathering my son into my arms. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have my son and Grant back in my life, but here we were.
Against all odds.
One happy family.
I exhaled and then inhaled the smell of my son for the first time, letting it settle into my heart. When I had started this journey, I’d thought that the purpose of my transformation was to save Joaquín. But it wasn’t. My road led me to save my son and save myself.
“Let’s go home, buddy.”
Grant and I walked out of the courthouse and drove back to San Diego.
Together.
To start the next chapter of our life.
Epilogue
On a beautiful winter day, Grant and I drove into the gates of San Quentin Prison. I had to beg Grant to let me visit Joaquín. Grant wanted us to move on, put this nightmare behind us, heal as a family. But no matter how awful Joaquín’s crimes had been, he was still my brother.
As I gazed at the gorgeous Bay, I marveled at the irony that Joaquín would spend the rest of his days locked up in our hometown with some of the most notorious inmates in history.
After Joaquín had recovered from me shooting him, he’d been charged with kidnapping, rape, and second-degree murder. This time, he didn’t even try to fight the charges. He had pled guilty, which was a huge relief because I didn’t want to live through a trial.
“Are you sure you want to see him?”
“Yes.”
Grant shook his head but didn’t fight with me. We’d settled into our new life easier than I had imagined. Luckily, Grant hadn’t deployed and was still on BUD/S instructor duty. I loved being a stay-at-home mommy for now. I finished my final course at SDSU and received my diploma and had started my masters in criminal justice. When Julián started preschool, I was thinking maybe one day I could work for NCIS.
Julián was thriving. We spent our days at the beach and at playdates with some of the other SEALs’ kids. He loved going to work with his daddy. Grant was an amazing father. So kind and patient. I was truly blessed.
The guards opened the gates and led me to the sitting area to await my brother. Grant sat by my side, refusing to let me come here alone.
Joaquín shuffled out in his orange prison jumpsuit, obviously having adapted better to prison life than I thought he would. Grant and I were both certain he was part of a gang, and after Grant told me about the drug- smuggling investigation, I didn’t question him. Neither of us knew if NCIS dropped their investigation or not, or if there were still some nefarious crimes haunting his SEAL Team.
Joaquín smiled when he saw me and even acknowledged Grant’s existence with a nod.
“What’s up, sis?”
“Not much. How are you?”
“Surviving.” His eyes were heavy. My heart ached, feeling his loneliness. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” And I did. I missed who he had been to me.
“Look, I need to apologize to you. For everything. For raping you—I see now that it was rape
. And for arranging for Julián to be taken. I’ve been in therapy and I realize now how fucked up I was. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
A big lump grew in my throat. Why hadn’t he sought out therapy earlier, before it was too late? My parents should’ve forced him to go.
“You don’t have to wait. I forgive you. I’m glad you’re getting help. I wish, I just wish—” I rocked back and forth and Grant reached out and held my hand.
“I’m really sorry, Mia. If I could take it back I would.”
I wanted to scream and break down. If only I could turn back time and help him. “Do you talk to anyone? On the outside?”
“I have some pen pals. This one chick is begging me to marry her.”
What the fuck? “Seriously? Who?”
“Her name is Larissa. She started writing me when I was first arraigned. She’s hot, but obviously crazy if she’s in love with me. California is only one of four states to allow fuck visits, so maybe I should marry her.”
Grant let out a laugh. “Do it, dude.”
Damn. Well, women always loved Joaquín. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe you should. I’m happy for you. I’m glad you have someone, someone you can talk to. I just wish . . . you could’ve found someone else earlier. Maybe everything would be different.”
He smirked. “I’ll always regret what I did, but I’ll never regret loving you.”
I bit my lip and choked back tears. I pressed my palm to the plexiglass and he pressed his hand back. “I’m not sure when I’m going to be able to come back. I’m in school and Grant’s deploying. I need to be with Julián.”
“It’s okay. It means the world to me that you’re still willing to visit me. I want you to know that I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know. Bye, Joaquín.”
“Bye, Mia.”
I watched him walk away and wept for the sweet boy he had been, the brother I had loved, and the man he could’ve been.
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