by Riley Ashby
“How are you angry with me about this? I got you a better job with my dad. I got you both a free place to stay at our house. You don’t need to worry about any bills this summer, plus you’ll be getting paid more.”
“Exactly! How am I going to pay that back?”
I looked over at Vail sitting in front of the window. We had it open despite the growing heat, letting in the fresh air and sounds of campus. She glanced at me, then back at her computer. She had been silent this entire time, not daring to contribute anything that would further piss off her brother.
The thought of being away from both of them—from her—for the entire summer was too much to bear. I called my dad and explained the situation. I told him about how Vail didn’t feel safe at her foster home and was trying to finish her GED early, and Ellery wanted her to live with him, but they didn’t have a place to stay. I told him he was as smart as I was—smarter, really—and he needed a job that would allow him to develop his talents. The only thing I left out was the fact that Vail had been living with us in a 150-square-foot dorm room for the entire school year.
“You don’t have to pay it back, Ellery; that’s the point. My dad is going to give you the opportunity you need to set yourself up for the rest of your life. The benefit you’ll bring to his company will be his payback. And you’ll get the chance to actually save some money instead of dumping it into rent and air conditioning and a bus pass.”
“You went behind my back.” He didn’t have any real arguments left, but he was pacing in our small space. “You know I never asked anything of you. I never wanted any handouts.”
“But that’s not what this is! You’re my friend—you’re both my friends—and friends help each other. Maybe I’m setting you up for a big loan ten years down the road.”
He didn’t appreciate my joke and just deepened his glare. I thought through the possible outcomes of this fight. Would he really give up this opportunity to spite me, all because of his pride?
“Think about Vail. This way, she won’t have to be stuck inside all summer, always looking over her shoulder. She’ll have high-speed Wi-Fi that you don’t have to pay for or worry about crapping out while she’s taking a test. And she’ll be a hell of a lot safer at my place than she would be in one of those neighborhoods where you won’t know anyone.”
Ellery stopped pacing and fired that finger at me again. “That’s a low blow, Castel. You think I can’t take care of my sister?”
I ran my hands through my hair, resisting the urge to pull out a chunk in my frustration. “That’s not what I said.”
“I asked him.” Vail’s voice was quiet since she faced the window, but we both heard her clear as day.
“What?” Ellery said, and I tried to wipe the surprise off my face. What was she doing?
“I asked him if he could help us out. I knew you wouldn’t be happy at that job, Ellery, and I don’t want to have to sneak around behind the government’s back any more than we already are. We’ll both be happier and more comfortable this way. I don’t want to have to spend all day every day sitting around by myself, waiting for you to come back.”
Everything about him softened. He went to the window and sat down in front of her, moving her computer to the side. “I didn’t realize you were so nervous about living there.”
She took his hand and squeezed his fingers. “It’s a silly thing. I’ve gotten used to having you both around. My boys.” She looked at me then, giving me that special smile I knew she never graced anyone else with. “This way, I get you both all summer.”
Ellery tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “And a private pool, too.”
She blushed. “That’s called a perk.”
He stood up and wiped his hands on his slacks—even as a teenager, he was so focused on his appearance, and the preppy frat boys didn’t help. He walked two steps across the room to me and held out his hand.
“Very well. Thank you for the opportunity, Castel.”
When I pulled him into a hug, I met Vail’s eyes over his shoulder for a moment before she blushed and turned away. Her smile was a rising sun.
*
I barely dozed all night, scared out of my mind that she would dream again. Every time her breath caught, I would freeze, ready to clutch her to me and reassure her that she was safe. But she never cried out; she only snuggled closer.
I couldn’t stop watching her. I used to stare at her like this when we were in the college dorm too, marveling at the way her face seemed to change before my eyes as she grew older. Now I was watching her heal right in front of me, the color returning to her cheeks as the bags under her eyes slowly disappeared. This was what had been missing from her life—me. Someone next to her who cared about her more deeply than anyone else.
Sometime around dawn, I must have dozed off only to be awakened by the sun in my eyes. I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and stole out of bed as quietly as possible, hoping I didn’t disturb her. She grabbed the blanket that had covered us and gathered it close to her chest, cuddling it like she had my blanket when we lived in the dorms.
In the kitchen, I set about making coffee. I knew she generally didn’t eat breakfast, so I scarfed a banana in three bites while the coffee percolated. She spoke just as it finished brewing.
“I thought you’d gone.” She was still on the last stair, watching me pour coffee into two mugs.
“I figured you might need someone to talk to after last night.”
She moved warily into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, as far from me as she could get. “I’ve never had to before.”
“I wasn’t here before.”
It was like I could see the hair on her arms rise as she bristled at the comment. “And whose fault is that?”
I suppressed a sigh. Was this really how she was going to be? “Why don’t you understand what I’m trying to tell you, Vail? They needed me there to help make sure he stays put away. They were ready to let him out on bail forty-eight hours after his arrest. Is that what you wanted to happen?”
She looked away from me but didn’t give in. I slid her coffee across the table to her, a few drops sloshing over the side. She wiped the table dry with her hand, not touching the mug.
“I think it would be best if you go.”
“I don’t understand what’s going on with you,” I told her as I downed my coffee in two gulps, oblivious to the burn it left in my throat. “You need to talk to me. Ellery told me that you refuse to see a therapist.”
“It’s my choice. Why doesn’t anyone understand that?”
“Because we don’t understand why you would choose to suffer rather than get help!”
She flinched at my raised voice. I chastised myself at first but found I didn’t care. If she wanted to be angry with me, I could be angry right back. “Tori told me that you toss and turn all night, but you didn’t move an inch after I got in bed with you. I know because I stayed awake for hours to make sure you didn’t have another nightmare. Why would you ask me to stay with you if you’re not going to talk to me?”
“I didn’t want you here,” she reminded me harshly. “I wanted to be alone.”
“And how would that have worked out? How long would you have been trapped in a hell of your own making with no one to save you?”
She pressed her fingers against her forehead. “Please, Castel, just go. I don’t want to ask you again.”
I put the mug in the sink, resisting the urge to shatter it in the basin. That wouldn’t help anyone. I was angry, desperate to fight a little harder, but I couldn’t talk to her when she was like this. I grabbed my clothes from the cot in the side room and turned to her before I left. “I’m coming back tonight,” I told her. “Do not lock me out.”
I yanked open the door to the cottage and nearly ran into Ellery’s fist.
My reaction was automatic, knocking his arm to the side and putting my hand to the back of his head so I could knee him in the face. Only Vail yelling stopped me from breaking his n
ose.
“Um, sorry,” I said, releasing him so he could step back. He rubbed the back of his neck and glared at me.
“Feeling defensive?”
“I thought you were trying to hit me!”
“I was knocking.”
“I realize that now.”
“Come in, you two.” Vail shoved me out of the way with her shoulder, and I noticed Sophie standing behind Ellery, wide-eyed.
“Does that happen a lot?” she asked, looking back and forth between Ellery and me.
“More than you’d think,” Ellery said, but he was smiling. “I’m glad you’re here, though. We have news.”
“Castel was just leaving,” Vail said. I looked at her, expecting a glare, but she was staring at her hands. I frowned. She was forcing me out, but she couldn’t even look at me?
“No, you both should hear this.” Ellery was already pouring coffee, making himself at home in his sister’s space. I saw her bristle and then force herself to relax. “We just got back from the doctor. I had to come here right away.”
“Do you want any coffee?” Vail asked Sophie with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Ellery noticed, and his own smile faltered, but she covered quickly. “I just got up. Let me throw on some real clothes real quick.”
“Decaf, please,” Sophie begged, looking exhausted. I set the pot to brew as Vail ran upstairs, Ellery watching after her uneasily.
“She’s okay,” I murmured to him as I passed him the sugar. He took his coffee with no creamer, the same way Vail did. “Rough night.”
He nodded, looking over at Sophie as she folded into the chair next to him. “I haven’t had anything to eat today,” she said by way of explanation for her exhaustion. “It’s hard to keep anything down in the mornings. Or afternoons.” She grimaced.
Ellery frowned as he rubbed her back. “The doctor gave her some pills that should help with the nausea.”
I found a container of soy creamer in the mini fridge that Vail had asked me to get via a note on my cot one morning. Sophie sipped the coffee gratefully, sinking back into the chair as Vail emerged from her bedroom. She had changed into jean shorts and a tank top, still nearly as exposed as before but somehow more appropriate.
It was because she had put on a bra. I was staring at her chest. Again.
“What brings you to my humble abode this morning, dear brother?” Her tone was teasing, and she wore a genuine smile as she looked at her brother. They were so close. I was glad her time away hadn’t changed that, but I hadn’t even thought about what his reaction would be if I were to come clean about the feelings I had been harboring all these years. What would Ellery say if I got together with his sister? Would he really accept us as a couple now that we were adults and so far removed from our strange living situation? Or would he still be the same protective older brother who held a knife to my face the first time he thought I looked at her a little too long?
“Maybe we should wait,” Sophie murmured, leaning in to him, but he was already speaking.
“We found out the sex of the baby.”
She set the cup down carefully. “That’s kind of early, isn’t it?”
Sophie shook her head. “They can test your blood now and see what chromosomes are present. Or something. I didn’t really understand it.” The way she looked at Ellery as he squeezed her hand and the affection that passed between them cracked my heart. They really were in love. I had never seen him as passionate about anything as he was about her, but it was doubled now that she was pregnant with his child. His whole world was sitting in that chair next to him. Nothing else mattered.
I stole another glance at Vail to find she was watching them as well. Her eyes landed on their hands for a moment, then flicked to me. In her gaze, I saw the same raw emotion that Sophie conveyed to Ellery with every glance and every touch; the way they both could redirect our attention with the right hook of an eyebrow or the touch of a fingertip.
I had no idea why she was working so hard to push me away, but in her eyes, I saw the truth. She needed me. She always had, just as I needed her. She had put on some armor to protect her from the truth of what happened while she was gone, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d met other women who’d done the same thing. But I knew I could bring her back. We had lost so much time dancing around each other, and as a result, I had almost lost her permanently. I had been dying at her feet since we were teenagers, and I couldn’t put it off anymore.
She was mine.
I just had to make her see it.
Vail flicked her eyes back to the happy couple. “Well, what is it?”
Sophie bit her lip, still hesitant, but Ellery spoke for her. “A girl. We’re having a girl.”
Both women seemed to hold their breath for an instant. Was it too much? Was it too difficult, too soon, for Vail to be happy about the progress of a pregnancy that would have nearly aligned with hers? But the strong woman in front of me—the victim and survivor all in one—rose without a word and met Sophie halfway around the table to pull her into a tight embrace.
“I’m so happy for you,” she whispered. Sophie was laughing, and I was shaking Ellery’s hand as we clapped each other on the back in excitement.
“A baby Sophie,” I said, my grin splitting my face. “Do you think you can handle two of them?”
He beamed over his shoulder at the mother of his child. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. And hey, the reason we came here today…”
“We’d like you to be the godparents,” Sophie finished for him, finally at ease now that Vail was reacting with joy. “You both have been so important in our lives, and we can’t think of two better people.”
Vail gripped her hands. She looked over at me with a smile, forgetting the animosity between us for a moment, and I couldn’t help but return her emotion. “We’d be honored. Thank you both so much.”
Ellery went to hug his sister as Sophie crossed to me, smiling tentatively before she slid her arms around my neck.
“I’m sorry I almost pulled my Taser on you in New York,” I muttered in her ear. It was easier this way, not looking at her while thinking about how I might have hurt my goddaughter if Tori hadn’t slapped some sense into me first.
“I forgive you,” she whispered. “I forgave you when I realized you loved her.”
I shouldn’t have been so surprised, but I was, so I hugged her tighter to hide it. She rubbed one hand across my back. “You two will be okay. You’ll see.”
“Thank you, Sophie.” I kissed her cheek. “I couldn’t be happier right now. I’ve never seen Ellery like he is with you. You deserve each other.”
It was the right thing to say. Tears welled in her eyes, and Vail was crying as well. We were one big mess of emotions and excitement.
“I’m taking us to lunch,” I announced, clapping my hands. “Well, Garret is. I’m not driving your asses anywhere anymore.”
Ellery had decided to make this weekday lunch a formal affair, so we were all dressed up again, and Sophie even put on heels. We found Tori and piled into the car for lunch in the city. It was our first time going out as a group since I had gotten home. That was Castel’s real motivation for this trip, I thought. He was excited about the baby and being a godfather, but his main incentive was me. Just as it always was.
I could never pay back his devotion, the intense fidelity he had ascribed to me the moment I moved into that dorm room with him. He had taken no time at all to see me as someone to protect. But then, why did I feel like had he let me down when I needed him the most? He’d put himself in dangerous situations for me. He was making sure the man who hurt me wasn’t running around free. Why couldn’t I move past that?
“Pull off here,” Sophie said far earlier than expected. I was surprised, but Ellery and Castel shared a look over our heads. They knew where we were going.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Ellery murmured, stroking her arm.
“Do what?” Tori piped, oblivious to the tension that had settled
over our group. Sophie set her jaw as she slipped her fingers between Ellery’s.
“We’re going to see her father,” Ellery filled in as Sophie stared out the window. He sat between Sophie and me. Castel and Tori were on the bench that ran along the side of the limo.
Familiar tension settled into my jaw as we pulled through the run-down neighborhood with broken windows covered with cardboard. The children played amidst broken bottles, and vulgar graffiti defaced the houses where people lived. I figured Sophie wasn’t wealthy, but this firsthand view of the poverty she had come from was jarring. She hid her face from the rest of us and fixated on the door handle. I wanted to reach out and let her know I understood; that Ellery and I had survived similar conditions for many years before a combination of luck, hard work, and the generosity of others had allowed us to live the life we now had. I looked over at Castel, remembering how he went out on a limb to ask his father to give Ellery a job. Ellery had repaid him by screaming about his broken pride. Neither of us deserved him, but he’d stuck by us through so much.
Castel stepped out of the car to let Ellery and Sophie exit, tossing his jacket back into the car so that he could stand outside and keep watch. Even though he wasn’t on the payroll anymore, he still fell comfortably into the role he’d grown accustomed to. He wasn’t about to let his best friend and his pregnant girlfriend wander around without protection in a place like this.
He was a good friend.
He frowned as Tori and I climbed out together the moment that Sophie’s front door slammed closed.
“You girls should stay in the car.”
Tori snorted. “Us girls will do whatever the hell we want, thank you very much.”
He rolled his eyes. He still wasn’t used to Tori’s presence in our lives or the way she had stepped into the space left empty when he’d moved across the country. Well, that was his own fault. She was my best friend now, and he would have to get used to it. Tori wandered a few feet up the sidewalk, taking in the cracked paint on the houses and eyes peeking at us from behind tattered curtains as Castel leaned against the car next to me.