My Heart to Hold: A Maxwell Family Saga - Book Two

by Alexander, S. B.

  My heartbeat punched my ribs. “I’m sorry, Coach. I was going to tell you.”

  Coach tilted his head. “Tell me what?”

  My gaze jerked to Kade’s. He shrugged. Coach didn’t know.

  Well, I was on a roll with apologizing and telling the truth, so I might as well get it over with. I inhaled deeply. “I’m failing chemistry and English.” As I delivered the news, I cringed.

  Coach removed his ball cap, scratched his balding head, then replaced the hat. Disappointment washed over him more than anger, which was more of a jab to the gut. He was counting on me, and I’d just ruined everything. My speech certainly didn’t mean anything now.

  “I promise I will get my grades up,” I was quick to add.

  “I’ve already laid down the law with him,” Kade said to Coach. “But I know school policy dictates that he can’t play.”

  Coached paced. “I was going to tell you I lifted your suspension, but now you’ve put me in a difficult situation.”

  “I don’t want you to give me any special treatment,” I said. I didn’t. That wouldn’t be right for me or anyone else.

  “School policy says that students don’t flunk more than one major subject in order to play sports.” He kept pacing. “So that means you need to bring up your grade in one or the other before you can play.”

  I was on the borderline in chemistry with an overall grade of sixty-four. “If I pass my chemistry test next Tuesday, that should put me over the top.”

  Coach stopped pacing, and his lips flattened into a thin line. “Then you better pass that test. However, you’ll sit out Monday’s game. That will fulfill your suspension.”

  I puffed out my cheeks. “Thank you.”

  “Get out of here,” Coach ordered in a tone that had me moving my feet.

  When I grabbed the door handle, I asked, “Coach, don’t you get our grades?”

  “I do, but with my wife’s medical issue, I haven’t looked at them.” Then Coach started talking to Kade.

  My phone rang when I was out in the hall. I snatched it out of the pocket of my sweatshirt. “Hey, Mom.”

  She sniffled. “Are you at a place you can talk?”

  “Yeah,” I barely said, knowing that her next words would change everything.

  Flames flickered in the fireplace, keeping my attention on the roaring fire while I waited for Mom to call back. Every now and then, I diverted my gaze to my phone, which sat ominously on the square, glass-topped coffee table as though it were a bomb ready to go off. But no one was moving to get out of the room. I certainly couldn’t move. The word cancer had a way of niggling in and making me feel numb and frozen.

  “She said nine p.m. Right?” Kade asked from the oversized chair adjacent to the couch on which Lacey and I were sitting.

  “Yeah,” I said as I continued to stare at the dancing flames across from me.

  “You did well at practice today,” Kade said.

  I knew he was trying to take my mind off my mom. But it wasn’t working. Sure, practice had been great—at least Coach had been stoked about how well we’d played. I wasn’t sure how I’d even bounced a ball considering the news Mom had given me.

  Lacey scooted closer and rested a hand on my shoulder. “Maiken, the medical community has come a long way with treating breast cancer. Did your mom say what stage your aunt is in?”

  “She said she would tell us everything tonight.”

  Kade leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “We’re here for you and your family, Maiken.”

  My dad’s moral code had always been “family above all else,” and my uncle and cousins weren’t any different. I knew my mom lived by the same code, but her side of the family wasn’t as big or strong as the Maxwells. My aunt Denise was Mom’s only sister, and their parents had died many years ago, which was one of the reasons we’d moved here. She had wanted us boys to have more structure as we grew into men. She felt that Kade, Uncle Martin, and his other sons might afford us that fatherly structure.

  At the moment, I didn’t need fatherly structure. I needed to be with my mom. “My mom needs me,” I mumbled, hopping up. “I’m going to pack.”

  “Maiken,” Kade said. “Let’s talk to your mom first. She said she would call at nine. It’s about that time.”

  No matter what my mom had to say, I was leaving as soon as I could. I held my left arm tightly as I crossed the room to stand in front of the fire. Maybe the heat would thaw out my nerves, which felt frozen. Or maybe a run later that night would do me some good. It had been months since I’d last strapped on my running shoes.

  My phone rang then vibrated, bouncing on the table. I rushed to answer it then tapped the speaker button. “Mom.”

  “Are Kade and Lacey there?” she asked.

  Lacey scooted to the edge of the couch cushion. “We’re all here, Christine.”

  Kade dragged the wingback chair closer to the phone. I knelt down, taking in as much oxygen as I could.

  “So, Maiken told you my sister has breast cancer. Well, what I didn’t mention, because I wanted to wait until I had all of you together, is Denise has stage-four breast cancer with a very low prognosis of beating it.”

  Tears streamed down Lacey’s cheeks, and Kade grasped her hand.

  I couldn’t hold back anymore. I’d done a great job at practice of keeping my emotions bottled up tightly, although if Mom had told me Aunt Denise’s prognosis, I probably would’ve broken down.

  Kade lowered his gaze to the carpet. “What are the next steps, Christine?” His tone was somber.

  “Honestly, I don’t know. Denise needs to makes some decisions on whether she’ll have surgery or not. The cancer has spread to her lymph nodes. The doctors want to try chemo first to see if they can get a hold on it before removing her breasts. But stage four might be hard to beat.”

  “Mom,” I choked out. “I want to get on a plane as soon as possible.”

  “No, Maiken.” Her voice was soft and nasally. “I want you to stay with Kade and Lacey. You have school and basketball, and you need to get those grades up.”

  “You need help with the kids,” I protested.

  Lacey flashed her green eyes at her husband. “Christine, would you consider sending the kids back here? I’m not working. Baseball season doesn’t start for another two months.”

  Kade kissed the back of Lacey’s hand. “We’ll get them settled back at my parents’ house and get them to school every day.”

  My mom started crying, and I wanted to jump through the phone and hug her. I also wanted to leap over the table and hug Kade and Lacey.

  Lacey sniffled. “You’re going to need the free time to focus on your sister.”

  My mom blew her nose, at least that was how it sounded. “I can’t put that burden on you newlyweds. I have eight kids.”

  Kade chuckled. “It will give us practice. Right, baby?” His expression toward his wife was dripping with love—a love so strong and deep that I was sure he would die for Lacey.

  I wanted that feeling with a girl one day. I wanted to get married and have kids. Like my parents, I wanted lots of children running around. I wanted a big house with lots of land so we could have dogs and cats and, dare I say, farm animals. Maybe Quinn was rubbing off on me.

  I cried with Lacey and Mom. Even Kade was shedding tears. I felt helpless, sad, and hurt that our family had to deal with another tragedy.

  “Kade.” Mom’s voice cracked. “I can’t… I—”

  “Christine, you’re our family,” Lacey said. “We would do anything, I mean anything, for family. So we don’t want to hear another word. The kids will stay with us.”

  Kade kissed the back of Lacey’s hand again. I wanted to hug the heck out of her and Kade.

  Mom sighed then shuddered. “Let’s talk tomorrow afternoon. Denise has a doctor’s appointment, and I need to break the news to the children. Then we can talk particulars. The kids do need to return to school before I need a doctor’s note for each of them.”
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  “Sounds good,” Kade said.

  All of my siblings loved and adored Aunt Denise. I knew that was going to be a tough conversation for my mom. I should’ve been there to help shoulder their pain.

  “Mom, I should be there when you tell everyone.”

  “Maiken,” Mom said. “There’ll be plenty of time to console each other. As hard as it might be, please concentrate on school. Promise me.”

  I would do anything for her. “Of course, Mom.”

  “I have to run. And Kade and Lacey, I owe you so much. Maiken, I love you dearly.” Then the call ended.

  The three of us sat there, gaping at the phone. When the fire crackled, I flinched, rose to my feet, and threw my arms around Lacey.

  She rubbed a hand up and down by back. “We’re here for you.” Then she eased away, flattening her soft, small hands on my cheeks. “You hear me? Any time you want to talk, you come to me or Kade.”

  With so much emotion clogging my throat, all I could do was nod.

  “I know how hard it is to lose loved ones,” she said softly. “Don’t hold back on your feelings. Talk to me or someone. Or what helps me is writing in my journal. Find an outlet that will allow you to express your feelings.” Then she pulled me to her. “You’re not alone, Maiken.”

  At times, I felt like I was. I felt as though I’d lost one of my best friends in my dad. He’d always been my hero. But what hurt the most was seeing Mom in pain.

  Lacey let go of me, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Excuse me.” She darted out of the room.

  Confusion had me knitting my brows.

  “She’s remembering her sister and mom,” Kade whispered.

  I knew they’d died in a home invasion, but I didn’t know the particulars, which didn’t matter. What did matter was that Lacey was a strong woman like my mom. From that, I took comfort in knowing that my mom would get through this.

  Kade scraped a hand over his jaw. “If you need to stay home from school tomorrow, you can.”

  I needed something to keep my mind occupied, and school and basketball were the perfect distractions. Or on second thought, maybe they weren’t. The way I was feeling might cause me to lash out at Chase. Then the truce we were fostering would go down the tubes.

  However, I did want to see Quinn. I wanted to hear her spit out a random fact. I wanted her to give me that shy and flirty smile—the one that was reserved only for me, the one that said she was so glad we’d met and so happy we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Above all else, I just wanted to hug my girl.

  I looked for Maiken that Friday morning at school. I looked for him at lunch in the cafeteria. I texted and called him, but I’d gotten no response. A ball of craziness clouded my mind all day. Classes crawled by. Teacher’s voices droned like the crickets on a warm summer night. I could count on one hand how many times I hadn’t paid attention in classes, and that day made two. The last time was when my granddaddy had died.

  I had Liam call Maiken during lunch, and he struck out too.

  Maybe Maiken had come down with the flu. He’d been in good spirits and hadn’t looked sick when he’d picked me up from the rink two nights ago. Sadly, I hadn’t seen him the previous day except briefly in the hall before the first bell had rung. After school, Momma and I had gone to see Granny. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and I’d wanted to ask her if I could bring Maiken and Tessa by on Saturday during her monthly poker game. That was the day Tessa and Maiken were teamed up to sell those discount cards for the fundraiser.

  I gnawed on a nail as I headed over to the sports complex. My ankle was a smidge better, thanks to Maiken. For the last two days and nights, I’d taken his advice and iced and elevated my ankle every chance I had.

  I peeked through the window in the gym. The boys were running up and down the court, but Maiken was nowhere to be found. I saw Coach on the sidelines, but I didn’t see Kade. Liam had told me that Kade was now the assistant basketball coach. Surely Kade would be there unless he was sick too.

  I wrapped my fingers around the handle of the door when a text beeped on my phone.

  Maiken’s name brightened my screen and my heart. Finally.

  Maiken: Sorry. I’ve slept most of the day. Long story, but can you come over?

  My fingers got ahead of my brain as I typed, I’ll see you soon.

  I didn’t have a car. I didn’t even have my license yet. I was sixteen, but I’d put off getting my license until the spring. I wasn’t in a rush to drive. Not only that, but even if I had my driver’s license, I wouldn’t have a car. Momma and Daddy didn’t have the money to buy me one. They didn’t even have the money to buy Carter and Liam one. Carter had gotten Daddy’s old beat-up truck that he’d had for years. And Granny had given Liam Granddaddy’s truck after he’d passed.

  Celia had a car, though. Then I remembered she had something to do for the school newspaper. I guess I would have to wait until basketball practice was over. Or I could walk. Kade and Lacey were living in a house close to downtown, which wasn’t far from school.

  I sent Liam a text to let him know where I was and told him to pick me up when he was done. In my haste to get out of the sports complex, it dawned on me that I’d forgotten to ask for the address. So I sent Maiken a text as I made the trek toward downtown.

  He responded quickly, and within thirty minutes, I was knocking on the door of the modest two-story brick home. It had three dormers, a deep front porch framing the length of the house, and a two-car attached garage.

  The trees rustled in the yard as I waited for someone to answer. After a long minute, I rang the doorbell. Maybe I had the wrong address. Before I could double-check, the lock clicked and the green door swung open.

  Maiken gave me a half smile as he peeked out toward the driveway. “Did someone drop you off?”

  I stepped in. “I walked from school.”

  “What about your ankle?”

  “Fine.” But as I said the word, I felt a dull throbbing in my ankle.

  He closed the door. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve picked you up. I assumed Liam would be with you. Oh, that’s right. He’s at basketball practice.”

  I followed him down a narrow hall until we came to a spacious open room that spilled into the kitchen, where bright lights sprayed down from the ceiling and a spicy scent floated in the air.

  I shrugged out of my winter gear. “Is Kade here? He wasn’t at practice either.”

  Maiken took my coat and set it on the wingback chair near the couch. “He’s been making arrangements for me.”

  “Arrangements?” My first thought was macabre and stupid since Maiken was standing before me. My second thought was that he was leaving, and all of a sudden, my belly spun out of control.

  Maiken held out his hand. “Let’s sit over here.”

  The sectional couch was inviting, but my legs were locked as I stood in front of the crackling fire.

  Footsteps padded in the hall before Lacey entered the family room. As always, she looked beautiful as ever. Her hair was twisted up on her head, and her green eyes sparkled, although I wasn’t sure sparkle was the right word because when she glanced at Maiken, that spark went out. “Hi, Quinn. I’m making stew if you would like to stay for dinner.”

  I nodded. “I’ll have to check with my mom.”

  She crossed the room into the kitchen and turned off the stove. “I’ll be in the office, Maiken. Kade is almost done. We should be ready to eat soon.”

  Once we were alone, Maiken closed his warm hands around my cold ones as he guided me to the couch. I eased down while he sat on the edge of the glass coffee table until our knees touched, or rather my knees were up against his shins.

  “You’re going to tell me something bad. Aren’t you?” My voice wasn’t my own.

  “I’m going back to…”

  I lowered my head, worrying my bottom lip.

  He captured my face in his hands. “Hey, babe. Look at me.”

  The word babe made me blink up at him.


  He puffed out his cheeks. “My aunt Denise has stage-four breast cancer.” Pain etched his handsome features.

  All of a sudden, I couldn’t control my emotions. Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks like a waterfall after a hard rain.

  With the tips of his fingers, he swiped across my cheeks, one side then the other. “I’m leaving tomorrow for Georgia.”

  I cried a little more for his aunt, for him, and for us. I shouldn’t have been selfish, but I couldn’t help but think he wasn’t coming back. “I’m sorry a-about your a-aunt.”

  You need to be strong for him. He’s been through his dad’s death, and now his aunt is sick. I wanted to be strong, yet I felt like I was losing him.

  As if he were in my head, he said softly, “I’m going to finish the school year here.”

  I gave him a weak smile, my hands trembling. I should’ve been relieved, but I was far from it. He might not be living there next year, and that scared me, saddened me, and made me want to bawl my eyes out.

  “Kade and I are flying down, and then we’ll be driving back with my sisters and brothers so they too can finish out the school year.”

  Show him that you can be there for him.

  I mustered up courage from somewhere deep inside me. “Can I do anything for you?”

  He pressed his forehead to mine. “Just being here is helping me so damn much.”

  I threw my arms around him, holding back more tears. “I’m always here for you.”

  His hands landed in my hair as he shuddered. “Tell me a random fact.” His breath tickled my ear.

  I giggled, the act refreshing. “Hugging increases serotonin and makes us feel happy.”

  “Then never stop hugging me,” he said.

  I didn’t plan on it. I would hug him, kiss him, and make his world as bright as I could.

  The guys were shooting baskets when I sauntered into the gym on that Monday afternoon with Kade and the twins, Emma and Ethan.

  Kade and I had flown down to Georgia early on Saturday morning, and then we’d driven all day on Sunday, taking turns at the wheel of the family’s Suburban. I would’ve liked to have stayed longer with my mom, but she’d insisted that we return so everyone could get back to school.