by Holly Jaymes
I managed a smile, but I felt too sick to my stomach to drink.
“What’s wrong?” George asked.
“She’s realizing she loves Reece after all,” Carly said, sipping her champagne with a smug gleam in her eye.
“Him? There are plenty of nice boys here,” George whined.
“Reece is a nice boy. A nice boy who loves our girl,” Carly said, her voice turning soft.
I looked at her. “He told you that?”
“You know how I know?” Carly put her glass down and walked to me. She rubbed my arms with her hands. “He was deeply hurt that you believed he’d use you. That you didn’t trust him.”
His words came back to me.
“You know what else is ridiculous? That I fell for you. If I’d known at the meeting today you were being fired, I’d have quit right then. How ridiculous is that, considering you don’t trust me and think I’m an asshole that would fuck you for a job.”
“The situation you’re in is as much as your fault as his. And, considering we’re celebrating a new job opportunity, maybe all this happened for the best,” she said.
Guilt mixed with my pain. She was right. The truth was, I was blaming him because I didn’t want to blame myself. I’d gone into the relationship knowing what could happen. And when it blew up in my face, instead of owning my part, I lashed out and blamed him.
“Now what are you going to do about this?” She stepped back and picked up her champagne.
“What can I do? He’s gone.”
“He has a phone,” she said.
I owed him an apology but I knew she wanted me to do more. She wanted me to try and salvage a relationship I hadn’t even realized had existed. But to what end? He’d left his job. He was going to focus on his screenwriting and for that, he needed to be in L.A. He’d never truly settled here anyway, so I didn’t see him coming back here ever, and certainly not for the woman who’d carelessly squashed his heart.
Pizza Delivery
Reece
The weekend of the retreat seemed like a good time to have a moving company pick up my stuff in Eden Lake and bring it back to L.A. I’d have to put it in storage as my temp place was a furnished studio over a garage. But with people of Eden Lake occupied with wellness retreat goers, it seemed like the best time to go in, get my stuff, and leave without being noticed.
The moving company said they’d be there mid-morning, so I made plans to drive out the night before to get my furniture and belongings ready to move. It had been two weeks since I’d left and while I’d kept myself occupied with writing, the town and Sasha hadn’t ever been far from my thoughts. As I drove east, it felt like the closer I got to Eden Lake the more my chest hurt and I couldn’t breathe. I began to think of writing a screen play with a plot in which I killed Cupid because that cherub was a fucking sadist.
I arrived late enough that it was dark. I went into the house and for a moment, simply stood as memories of the two months I was here flooded back. Those eight weeks had been some of the best in my life, but it ended the most painfully as well.
“Suck it up,” I grumbled to myself. I hauled in a few boxes from my car, and began putting my kitchenware into it. I was taping up the box when there was a knock on my door.
I cursed, not wanting to see anyone. I considered ignoring it, but then I wondered if maybe it was Sasha. I cursed again because that was a stupid idea. First, she had to be at the retreat and second, she thought I was an asshole.
I opened the door. “Carly. George.” I really liked this couple, but I wasn’t in the mood to chat with them either.
Carly smiled. “Welcome home, Reece.” She held up a bottle of champagne.
Home. My heart rolled in my chest at the idea. I told it to calm down. This wasn’t my home.
“Thought you’d sneak past her, did ya?” George said with a nod toward his wife.
I put on a fake chagrined smile. “Busted. I’m just packing some things up. The movers will be here tomorrow.”
“I hope you haven’t packed your glasses,” Carly said. “I’ve got champagne.”
“Sorry. I just taped the box.” Realizing I was being rude, I opened the door and let them in.
“How are you Reece?” Carly looked at me in a way I imagined mothers did at their children when they were using their x-ray vision to assess a situation. The feeling was unsettling more than comforting.
“Good.”
“Did you get your writing job?” she asked.
“I’m working on a movie I was hired to write.” I’d receive my pay for the treatment a few days ago, so I was flush in money for now.
“How wonderful. Sasha is working now, you know.”
I swallowed as I realized I really wanted to know that she was okay. I figured she would be. She had many people in this town who respected her and would look out for her. I would have liked to have been in the room when Mason and all the other high-powered people Sasha knew called Sal and told her to hire Sasha back.
“I’m happy to hear that. Sterling Starr owed her.”
“Oh not Sterling Starr,” George said.
My gaze jerked to his. “No?” It was hard to imagine Sal wouldn’t take her back.
“Pine Rest.” Carly plopped herself down on the couch, apparently deciding she’d stay for a while. “Mason, Tucker and the Minor’s hired her as an event coordinator.”
“Why pay Sterling Starr when you can get your own?” George said. “Not just their own, but the best in Eden Lake.”
That made total sense. Inside I did a mental high five to Sasha for sticking it to Sal. Sal had to be royally pissed that she not only lost clients like Mason and Tucker, but also as well as their circle of friends in Eden Lake.
“That’s great.” It was so fucking hard to smile when inside I was breaking all over again.
“It looks like everything turned out okay,” Carly said. She was right, and yet, my life didn’t feel okay.
“Except for the fact that you and Sasha are miserable,” Carly finished.
I didn’t know what to say to that.
Carly stood. “Let me give you some advice, Reece.”
“I don’t think he wants advice, honey,” George said.
“He’s going to have it anyway. If you care for Sasha, you need to tell her—”
“I did.” I let the annoyance overcome the pain as it was easier to manage. “She’s the one who—”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Carly waved my comment away and I wouldn’t lie, I didn’t like my feelings being dismissed.
“You don’t know,” I blurted.
Both Carly and George flinched and their eyes widened.
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “Sorry.” I knew I owed them an explanation, but I wasn’t going to go over my history of being dismissed and rejected starting with my parents and ending with Sasha. “I know you’re trying to help and I appreciate that. Really, I do, but—”
“We should mind our own business,” George said with a glare to his wife. “Come on honey. We came and said hello like you wanted. Now let’s leave him in peace.”
Carly’s eyes went soft. “Everything you want is within reach, Reece. You’ll regret it if you don’t reach for it.”
I followed them to the door. “Do you want your champagne back?”
“Keep it,” she said. “Christen your new home with it.”
When they left, I sagged against the door, all of a sudden feeling exhausted. I looked over the room and realized I still had a lot of work to do. I pushed away from the door, and got to it.
An hour later I had my kitchen packed and the rest of my clothes and doo-dads packed as well. Everything was ready to be loaded into the truck when it arrived tomorrow. I was going to pay someone to come in after them to clean up, but not wanting to sit and do nothing but pine for the rest of the night, I decided to get a head start on cleaning.
I was wiping down a kitchen shelf when there was a knock on my door.
“Fucking A,” I
said. Who could possibly be here now?
I rinsed my hands of the cleaner, dried them on a towel and headed to the door.
I jerked the door open ready to get rid of whoever was there. My breath stalled in my chest as I saw Sasha standing with a pizza box.
“Delivery.” Her voice was tentative. She bit her lip.
The urge to grab and hold her was acute. I gripped the edge of the door to keep from following through.
“Sasha. What are you doing here?”
“My aunt said you were in town. I owe you an apology.” She held out a pizza. “I figured this might get me in the door.”
Send her away, every fiber of my being screamed. Not that I didn’t want her because I did. Good lord how I did. But I couldn’t handle being around her knowing I couldn’t have her.
“Apology?” I managed to get out.
“I was wrong to blame you for getting fired. I knew that was a possibility when we hooked up.”
I looked down because looking into her eyes was ruining my resolve to keep her away. “Hooked up.” See. She didn’t love me. To her it was just sex. “I shouldn’t have pursued it.”
When she didn’t say anything, I looked at her.
“Are you really not going to accept my pizza?”
Fuck, I was hurting her feelings. She pushed the pizza at me, forcing me to take it.
“I had a story for one of your scripts. It’s about a woman who’s having a bad day so she goes for a drink in a local hotel bar. She sits next to a sexy man who takes all her pain away,” she said.
I knew this story, I thought as I set the pizza on an entryway table next to the door.
“Then the next day, he walks into her office as her new boss. She wants to hate him, but she can’t help herself. He’s too sweet and kind, generous, and did I mention sexy?”
I swallowed.
“But then she gets fired and she lets her fear and pain and anger ruin everything.”
“Sasha.” I couldn’t bear it anymore. I closed my eyes for a minute to gather the right words. Finally, I opened them. “I can’t do this.”
She looked stricken. “Right…ah…okay. I’m sorry…” Her eyes filled with tears which made no sense. I expected relief.
“Fuck. I don’t want to hurt you. I just…I’m not over you yet and I can’t pretend to be your friend—”
“What?” For a moment I thought I saw hope in her eyes.
I could only stare because I didn’t want to have to open my heart and bleed for her again. I simply shook my head.
“Reece. I don’t want you to be over me.” She stepped toward me and while instinct told me to back away, I didn’t. Her hand pressed over my heart. “I’m not over you either and I don’t want to be.”
My heart stuttered in my chest as it tried to make sense of her words.
She swallowed and bit her lower lip. “The truth is, I’m in love with you. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry for that but—”
“Say that again.” I could hardly catch my breath.
“I’m sorry—”
“No. The part before that.”
Her smile was so warm and sweet. “I’m in love with you.”
Jesus fucking Christ. I reached out pressing my palm to her cheek. “I want to believe you, because I love you and I’m having a hard time living with this hole in my chest.”
She tilted her head deeper against my palm. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” She kissed my palm. “I should have known you wouldn’t hurt me. I did know, but I was stunned and afraid and didn’t want to own up to my own actions. I was angry that I got in trouble and you didn’t. But that wasn’t your fault. I know that. And even after how I treated you, you still tried to make things right. I want to make things right too.”
“How?” I don’t know why I asked that. My brain wasn’t working right.
“First I want to apologize. After that, I hope you’ll give me another chance. I know you’re planning to leave and your writing is starting to take off, but L.A. is only two hours away.” She stepped closer to me and I realized that maybe I should invite her in after all.
“Reece. I messed up. I suspect you’re used to having people mess up and leave you. But I’m here asking for another chance.” Her lips pressed to mine. In that instant, clarity snapped through my brain.
I eased back. “This isn’t a hookup, Sasha.”
“No. I shouldn’t have put it like that.” She looked down. “I keep messing this up.”
I used the crook of my finger to lift her chin. “What if I stay in Eden Lake?”
Her breath hitched. “Then you’d give me an easier chance to fix things.”
“It would give me a chance to fix things too, Sasha. I know I’m not blameless. I hate that I took your job. I hate that you got fired because of me. I hate that Sterling Starr didn’t appreciate what an asset you were. But I fucking love how you stuck it to Sal.”
Her smile widened, and it lit me up from the inside out.
“And I fucking love you.” I wanted to be sure she knew that.
“Reece.” She threw her arms around me. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in the door and shutting it behind her.
I swore I heard a “whoop” from up the street. I could imagine Carly watching us from her porch but I pushed that aside to focus on the woman who said she loved me.
“So how does this story end?” I asked her as I looked down into her beautiful eyes.
“It’s still being written, but so far, things are looking up. I believe there will be some kissing and maybe some getting naked.”
“Is that before or after the pizza?” I said, feeling so exuberantly happy.
“Before.”
“Good.” I swept her up into my arms and carried her to the bedroom. “I hope you’re not hungry, because we have a lot of time to make up for. It’s going to take a while.”
“Hmmm…did you find your finesse?” She pulled me down over her as I lay her on the bed.
“Not yet. But I’m going to keep working at it.” Then I kissed her, hard, pouring everything in my heart and soul into it so she knew how much I loved her.
The Promise
Sasha
I wrapped my arms around Reece and kissed him back with everything I had so he knew I was all in. I didn’t want him to have any doubt about my feelings for him.
Earlier that night, when I got the text from my aunt that Reece was at his house, I’d been assessing the large room in the lodge where the wellness retreat visitors were having dinner while the keynote speaker delivered his speech.
I ignored the first text, but they kept coming. She told me how tired and sad he looked. She said he still seemed to think I didn’t respect or trust him. Then she pondered if people in his past had abandoned him. I started to roll my eyes, but then I remembered his telling me about his dad being in jail and his mom running off. Guilt filled me at adding to his sense of rejection and with shame for hurting him like his parents had.
“Everything alright?” Victoria asked as she stepped up beside me at the back of the room.
I arched a brow, wondering where she’d come from. “Where were you?”
She blushed. “I was seeing Pax off. He’s heading back to L.A. to the studio tonight.”
Seeing him off had to be code for having sex.
“Anyway, you look upset. Is everything okay?” she asked.
I sighed. “My aunt is meddling in my love life.”
“Family. They can be a pain in the ass. I know.” Her eyes cut to Lily as she said that. I remembered Lily’s guilt-ridden expression talking about Victoria a couple of weeks ago and wondered what was up with them.
“She means well, but somethings just aren’t meant to be,” I said.
Victoria pondered that. “Why not?”
“Well, for one he works in L.A. and I’m here.” I decided not to admit to being a bitch to him, which was par for the course. Clearly, I had a hard time fessing up to my own part in my unhappiness. “Our lives
are apart.”
Victoria waved a hand. “That’s malarkey. It’s an excuse to give up on what you want.”
I gaped at her. “Are you saying I need to give up my job for a man?”
“Hell no. But you also shouldn’t give up the man for a job. Not if you love him. Look at me and Pax. Our work often separates us, but we’ve worked out a system to not be apart if we can help it. If I have to go to New York, he comes with me, unless he has something going on. When he went to London to close up his flat, I went with him, telecommuting with my business. We even took a side trip to Paris where I looked at opening a market for my cosmetics there.”
“You and Pax have careers that can accommodate that,” I argued.
“Can you get the same type job in LA?”
I thought of Sterling Starr.
“Or him here in Eden Lake? Or you could both move to San Bernardino and split the difference. One thing I’ve learned is that when it comes to love, you have to be proactive. The falling sort of just happens, sometimes without even knowing it.”
She was right about that.
“But staying in love or sustaining the relationship takes attention and action. I don’t want to say work, because that sounds negative, but I don’t do anything now without considering the impact on my relationship with Pax. And he does the same for me. We’ve made that first in our lives. I see it with my sister and Josh.”
“What about Lily?” It was none of my business but curiosity was winning out.
“Lily and Wyatt too. They put their relationship first.”
I studied her. “Was that a problem for you two? I get the sense that something came between you two.”
She inhaled a breath. “People aren’t perfect, you know. Sometimes even your friends can disappoint you.” She looked at me. “We can always disappoint the ones we love especially when we don’t value them or trust them.”
That’s what I’d done to Reece.
“But we can make amends. And we have to learn to forgive. That’s my cross to bear. But I forgave Pax, and Lily and I are working our way back to where we were.”
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She must have seen it in my expression. “The point is, people have baggage. Things happen in our childhoods that impact how we behave as adults. We don’t even realize it. Parents are distant or absent, and so kids learn not to trust. Maybe they bond with someone so deeply they have trouble when that person bonds with someone else.”