by M. S. Parker
Besides, she deserved better than me.
Chapter Two
Bryne
My head was spinning as I started making my way through Central Park again. It wasn't much farther to Tavern on the Green, or at least that's what my befuddled brain was trying to remember from the brief look I'd taken at the directions on my phone before I left the hotel.
When I woke up this morning to find Dax gone, I feared I'd made a horrible mistake by sleeping with him again. Then I'd seen his note asking me to meet him for dinner. Well, asking might not have been the right word. It was more like a strong suggestion. I hadn't known Dax long, but I'd already gotten the impression that he didn't do much in the way of making requests.
But it wasn't Dax I was thinking about as I hurried toward the restaurant. Not him directly anyway. He'd been on my mind when I first set off, but that had changed a few minutes ago when a strange woman approached me. And strange wasn't only because I'd never seen her before. Probably only a couple years older than me, she had multiple piercings and the angriest expression I'd seen in a long time.
Her appearance wasn't what had me freaking out though. No, it was because she'd told me, in no uncertain terms, to stay away from Dax.
I'd been in New York City for about a week, and I'd already snuck into a sex club, lost my virginity, got the lead in my first off-Broadway play, and been threatened over a guy.
I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know what came next.
When I stepped into Tavern on the Green, Todd Emery was already waiting. Strawberry blond hair, smokey gray eyes, and absolutely gorgeous, he had almost every woman in the restaurant looking at him. A good portion of men were too. The best thing about him, however, was that he had a perfect balance of confidence and humility. He knew he was attractive but didn't let it go to his head.
He frowned as he looked at me, then opened his arms. I stepped into them without hesitating. Todd was the romantic lead opposite me in the play Collide, but I didn't have to worry about him taking any of this the wrong way. He was completely committed to his boyfriend, Hiram, which allowed me to accept the comfort without any awkwardness attached.
After a moment, I stepped back. Todd let me go, but his hand settled on the small of my back as he led the way to a table near the back. He waited until I took off my coat, and we both were settled into our seats before speaking.
“Are you okay?”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Honestly, I'm not entirely sure.”
I quickly filled him in on everything that had happened since I'd last seen him, which, strangely enough, had only been last night. I'd been with him at Club Privé before Dax had shown up. It felt like it'd been years though. When I finished, silence fell for several long seconds before he let out a breath.
“Wow. That's...a lot.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered.
We paused in our discussion to place our orders, and I wondered if Todd was going to move off to another subject when we were done. Most of the kids I'd spent time around growing up would've shown interest for a moment, then tried to make it about them. I didn't have a problem giving a listening ear or offering advice to someone else, but my brain was so scrambled at the moment, I wasn't sure I could manage any genuine concern or interest in anything else. Especially since I didn't know what the hell I was going to do about the warning I'd received.
Not for the first time, however, Todd surprised me. One of the ways my mother had tried to discourage me from moving to New York had been to tell me that the people in the Big Apple were rude...and then added a few other less-than-complimentary descriptions. Todd had completely disproved all of that. Granted, there was a good chance he was the exception rather than the rule, but since he was my closest non-relative friend, I was happy enough with it.
“So, what do you want to do?” he asked.
“Do?” I echoed the word like I'd never heard it before. “About the hot guy I had sex with, or the scary chick who told me to stay away from him?”
“Seems to me that they're pretty linked,” he said. “Question is, are you more scared of the woman who threatened you, or do you like him enough not to care?”
I sighed and leaned back in my seat. “I'm not supposed to like him.”
“Who says?” Todd grabbed a fry from my plate before the waiter could even set it down.
“Him.” I breathed out a long exhale. “And me too, I guess.”
“Elaborate.”
I took a bite of the wild mushroom risotto, and then quickly explained the whole “no relationship” conversation during mine and Dax's original encounter. While Dax had said he still wanted me, and he apparently wanted to meet for dinner tonight, neither one of us had brought up whether or not this changed things.
“Do you want things to change?” Todd asked.
I thought about the way Dax kissed me, fierce and possessive, like he was claiming me. How his hands felt on my body. The way we moved together. Physically, my body responded to him, there was no doubt about that whatsoever. But did I want something more?
“I don't know,” I answered honestly. “So much in my life has changed in the past couple weeks. I don't know if adding a relationship on top of everything else is a good idea.”
He smothered his salad with pepper. “That's one way to look at it.”
“What's another way?” I asked.
His expression grew thoughtful, and he turned his attention to his food. I didn't interrupt though. He'd answer me when he decided how he wanted to say it. Until then, I'd enjoy the rest of my risotto. The silence between us was comfortable, more so than I'd ever experienced with anyone else.
“Back in DC, what were your relationships like?” Half of his Cobb salad was gone by the time he spoke.
I stared down at my food and hoped the blush I could feel creeping up my cheeks wasn't as obvious as it felt. “I didn't really have any.”
“Are you kidding me?” The surprise in his voice showed on his face. “Were all the guys you knew gay or blind? I mean, hell, I'm gay and I'm pretty sure I'd have asked you out in high school.”
I shook my head, eyes narrowing as I glared at him. “Pretty much every guy I came into contact with in DC were entitled assholes.”
Curiosity flashed across Todd's face. “You never mentioned what your parents do.”
“Before he died, my dad was a boxer.” I hedged my answer. “My mom did some part-time work.”
“Doesn't sound like you traveled in the circles of 'entitled assholes.'”
I had a feeling that if I didn't tell him what he wanted to know, he'd keep at me until I finally did. At least I was pretty sure he wouldn't treat me weird once he found out.
“My mom's family has money,” I said finally. “Plus, Nana and Papa had been active in politics for years, so when Mom and I moved in with them, we got involved too.”
“They were your grandparents?”
I shook my head. “My great-grandparents, actually. Remember how I told you about how Gavin and my mom have the same father? Well, the whole thing caused a huge rift between my grandmother and her parents.”
Todd looked like he wanted to ask more, but turned the subject back to me and Dax. “So all the guys you were around in DC were jerks, which meant you didn't have a serious boyfriend?”
I could see the other question coming, so I answered it before he could ask. “Dax was my first.”
Todd let out a low whistle.
“It's not a big deal,” I snapped and stabbed a piece of broccoli with my folk.
He grinned and raised an eyebrow. “It wasn't...big?”
“Bite me.”
He laughed, then sobered as he asked, “Does Dax know?”
“No.” I pointed my fork at my friend. “And that's neither here nor there?”
“Okay, I might not be the best expert in female virginity, Bryne, but if you waited until you were nineteen to have sex, I don't think you can write-off feeling more than the warm fuzzies for the guy you finally gave it to.”
“First,” I emphasized the word by stealing a forkful of Todd's salad. “I never said I had warm fuzzies for Dax. And second, you're definitely not an expert in female virginity, so butt out.”
In what I was learning was true Todd fashion, he gave me a little smirk. “I think I hit a nerve.”
“Fine, Todd,” I said with a huff of air that wasn’t Four Season etiquette. “If you're so smart, what do you think I should do about Dax and my mystery threatener?”
The pleased look on his face told me that I'd asked exactly what he wanted. “Follow your heart.”
I waited to hear the rest, but when several seconds passed without him saying anything else, I realized he was done.
“Are you shitting me?” He laughed, ignoring the fact that I was giving him my best glower. “Seriously, Todd. Is that really it? Follow my heart?”
He shrugged. “What can I say? I'm a romantic.”
“Yeah, well, I've seen what happens when people follow their traitorous, easily deceived heart.”
“They get to be with the person they love?”
I set my fork down. I wasn't hungry anymore. “They get their hearts ripped out and stomped on by size thirteens.”
My chest tightened as I thought of the women I knew who'd followed their hearts, who'd gone after the men they loved. My grandmother had loved Chauncey Manning, but he'd walked away from her and my mother. My parents had gotten married when my mom had gotten pregnant, but they loved each other, and my father had been there for me up until his death. He hadn't chosen to leave us, but his absence still hurt my mom, even after all these years.
Todd's hand closed over mine. “Hon, take it from me. If you don't at least see what this might be with Dax, you'll regret it. Maybe nothing will come of it. And, yeah, maybe your heart gets broken, but isn't that better than not knowing?”
Silence fell again, but this time, I was in no rush to break it. Todd had given me a lot to think about before I met Dax tonight.
Chapter Three
Dax
I wasn't a monk, but until today, I'd never gotten dressed for a date. Even when I had casual flings where I'd been with a girl for more than one or two nights, I didn't really date. Hell, I could count on one hand the number of women I'd taken to get something to eat. Most of the time, I either found someone at work or had them meet me there, then we'd go back to her place and fuck.
I didn't take anyone home with me.
The types of girls I had sex with weren't anyone I wanted near my mother. They were generally loud, both in personality and appearance. Trashy clothes. Tattoos. And almost all of them had piercings, generally in some pretty sensitive places. I'd had more blow jobs from girls with tongue studs than without.
Most were chicks who came into the shop, looking to be fucked by someone like me. Every so often, I'd find someone at Club Privé who was more interested in the help than the patrons, but even then it was never one of the classy members. It was usually someone who'd managed to wrangle a visit, thinking they wanted something the club had to offer. Some of them came back to the club once or twice, but that was always with some important member who probably wouldn't have wanted to know that they were getting my sloppy seconds.
I frowned at my reflection, but I wasn't sure if I was frowning because I knew my mother would've beaten my ass if she'd known how I was with women. She'd taught me how to treat women, and I'd always been respectful to her. I'd just never met another woman I felt deserved to be treated that well. Okay, Carrie Manning did. She was a good person, and her friends were decent too. If a woman my age who was like them ever wanted to be with me, she would be someone I could introduce to my mom.
Thing was, as I looked at the stranger in the mirror, I had a feeling that Bryne was the sort of woman Mom would actually like. She was down-to-earth and knew what she wanted. Didn't take shit from anyone, including me, and she was smart, respected herself. She looked good but didn't act like it made her better than anyone else.
I couldn't say that I'd never met anyone like her before, because I had. I'd just never had someone like her give me a second look.
I took a slow breath and reminded myself that she hadn't just given me a second look. She'd gone to bed with me. Twice. And unless I was wrong about what happened between us last night, she'd meet me at the club tonight. Once might've been slumming it. Twice, not so much. If she showed up at Club Privé, it would mean that fucking me wasn't just something she'd decided to try out.
When I came into the living room, I was surprised to see my mom sitting on the couch rather than already being in her room like she usually was by this time. The injuries she'd gotten at work were healed, but she'd be doing rehab and getting her strength back for at least another six months. She hated how tired she felt all the time, but I kept telling her that she needed to take it slow. She was my only family, and I'd come too close to losing her. I wouldn't let that happen again.
I pushed those thoughts out of my head as I smiled at her. “You need anything before I go?”
We looked a lot alike, Mom and me. Same dark hair color that she insisted was cocoa brown. Her eyes were darker blue while mine, she contended, were cobalt. But we shared enough of the same features that I wondered if I had any of my dad in me at all.
“You look awfully dressed up for work.”
She looked tired, but she didn't miss anything.
“New jeans.”
The look she gave me told me that she knew I was deflecting. “You didn't come home last night.”
“I did.” I opted for a half-truth. “You were asleep already.”
Again, that knowing look.
“I have to go, Mom.” I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “Don't tire yourself out too much.”
“You either.”
I could hear the smile and knew that I'd never be able to fool her. She'd always known me so well. I closed the door behind me, locked both it and the deadbolt. We didn't live in the worst neighborhood, but it wasn't the best either.
I took the subway to Club Privé and wondered if Bryne would be there when I arrived. My fingers drummed on my knee as I waited for my stop. Nervous energy raced through me. I'd never felt anything like it.
Actually, that wasn't exactly true, I realized. The first time I'd seen Bryne, I felt a similar excitement. Every time I was with her, I felt like I was holding a live wire. Something about her made me feel more alive than I'd ever felt.
It was dangerous, what I was doing. Dangerous for me...and for Bryne.
My hand curled into a fist at the thought of anyone hurting Bryne, and I got to my feet, unable to stay seated. I couldn't think that way, think of all the ways this could go sideways. Hell, I didn't even know what this was, and I didn't want to take too much on when, for all I knew, Bryne could've decided that I wasn't worth it.
If I'd been in her position, I would've written me off.
I had to take it one step at a time, keep reminding myself that I could still live in the moment without planning how I would keep her from getting too attached. I didn't want to even think about making sure I wasn't the one getting attached. It couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it.
The war inside me continued all the way to the club, making me second-guess my decision to do this whole dinner thing. As the front of Club Privé came into view, I almost turned around and walked away, almost convinced myself that it would be better for both of us if I stood her up and left things broken between us.
And then I saw those wild curls, and that short, curvy body, and I knew I couldn't walk away. Not yet anyway. I had to get inside her again.
“You got my note.” I mentally kicked myself for not coming up with a better greeting.
“I did.” She smiled up at me and linked her arm through mine. “So, where are we going to eat?”
“What are you in the mood for?” Even as I asked the question, I hoped that she wouldn't name some pricey five-star restaurant. The few women I'd taken to dinner had been fine wit
h me picking a fairly inexpensive place, mostly because they'd assumed I'd find someone else if they complained. They were right.
Bryne was different.
“Anywhere that's not outside is fine with me.” She flashed another smile. “Though I'd prefer no fast food.”
“I think I can manage that.” I held out a hand to hail a taxi. No way was I going to have her riding the subway.
I gave the driver an address as I slid inside, then wrapped my arm around Bryne when she settled next to me. It surprised me how natural the gesture felt, more like she belonged there rather than I was pulling her in to try to cop a feel. As we rode in silence, dozens of questions kept creeping up in my brain, most of them about why I was taking Bryne to my mother's favorite restaurant. I'd never taken anyone there before, and a part of me warned that I was taking this thing with Bryne too far.
When I saw the delight on her face when she walked inside the little family-owned restaurant, my doubts retreated. The entire place was strung with clear Christmas lights, sending unique shadows playing against the old brick walls. A handful of people were seated around the dining room, and a few glanced our way as a familiar middle-aged redhead approached.
“Dax!” Addison beamed at me. “It's been too long! How's your mom?”
“Better.” I put my hand on the small of Bryne's back and wished she wasn't wearing a winter coat. I didn't like the extra layers between us. “Addison, this is Bryne. Bryne, Addison here owns the place.”
“It's beautiful,” Bryne said sincerely as she held out her hand.
“Thank you.” Addison picked up two menus and gestured for us to follow her. “My grandfather started it when he was twenty, and it's been in my family ever since.”
Bryne shrugged off her coat, revealing an off-the-shoulder fitted sweater to go with her form-hugging jeans. I gave her a heated look as she sat down, and a faint blush stained her cheeks. The fact that she blushed instead of acting like she deserved the attention made me wonder how stupid the other men she'd dated had been.