by M. S. Parker
I'd never really thought about participating in this sort of thing before, but I knew enough to get that she was what was called a dominatrix.
Which actually made a lot of sense once I thought about it. She was really bossy.
“So...” I wasn't always the most articulate person in the world, but I'd never really had a problem finding things to say until now. “You're into all...this.”
“You could say that.” She gave me a coy smile. “Now, come with me.”
I had a feeling that letting her take charge meant something more here, but I was tired of making all the decisions, tired of all the pressure on my shoulders. She was right when she said I needed to let off steam, and I was going to let her show me how.
I followed her through a throng of scantily-clad people and found myself standing in front of a door. She swiped a card through a scanner and it swung open.
“Shall we?”
And that was how, less than five minutes later, I ended up naked and hand-cuffed to a bed.
Gilen, however, was still wearing her dress. She climbed onto the bed and the hem hiked up her thighs, exposing more of her long legs. I watched as she made her way up my body until she was straddling my thighs.
I hissed as she wrapped her hand around me, then swore as she began to move in quick, jerky strokes. My cock had been soft, but the rough treatment sent blood rushing, making me hard so quickly that it was almost painful.
“Fuck!” My back arched as she tightened her grip.
“Soon,” she promised. “But first I want to make sure you understand how this is going to work.”
My eyebrows went up. “I think I'm pretty sure I know how sex works.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But here's how it works today. I'm going to fuck you, use you to make myself come, and if I can get off, I'll let you come too.”
Her eyes met mine and I read a challenge there. I always did like one of those.
“Do your worst,” I said.
Twenty minutes later, I realized that I probably shouldn't have been so cocky.
Gilen had rolled the condom on with her mouth, then revealed that she wasn't wearing anything under her dress when she lowered herself down onto my shaft. She'd gone slow at first, using her hands to squeeze and play with her breasts while I watched, unable to touch. Then, she started to flex around me, her internal muscles practically massaging my cock.
One look at Gilen's face told me that she was taking her time intentionally, and I had no way to coax her along. I couldn't reach under her dress, find her clit, use it to push her over the edge. All I could do was lay there and watch as she worked herself to a slow orgasm.
For the first one.
The second one was hard and fast as she drove herself down onto me.
And then, finally, she told me I could come.
And I did, tugging hard enough on the handcuffs to make it hurt. But that didn't make her stop. She kept going after I finished, and I knew our night was just starting.
Chapter Eight
Cynthia Rose
“What do you think?”
My sister was quiet for a moment, but I didn't rush her. She might have an impulsive personality, but she always took her time to think when I asked for her opinion or advice.
Lili Belle was only fourteen months older than me, and we'd always been close. I knew that most sisters so close in age often had issues with rivalry, but she and I had never been like that. We were different in most ways, and that translated to us balancing each other out rather than putting us at odds with each other.
“Are you in love with him?”
Leave it to my sister to ask the question I had refused to ask myself. I wasn't really sure how to answer it either. While I appreciated romance, I didn't believe in the fairy tale version of things. Attraction and lust at first sight, definitely. Love, not so much.
“I don't think so,” I finally said. “I don't think we were at that point.”
“But...” she prompted.
I sighed. She knew me too well. “But I think I could have loved him.”
Silence again and I knew she was thinking over the new information. I'd told her everything, even how good the sex had been. There was very little the two of us kept from each other. While I had no regrets about moving to the city for school, and then staying for my career, I missed her more than anyone else back home.
“You just saw him and that Gilen woman together one time after, right?” she asked.
“Yes.” I tried not to remember.
“My advice,” she continued. “Watch them interact again, and try to see it with an impartial eye. See if he's behaving any differently toward her. Don't focus on her. And listen to your gut, not your heart.”
“Thanks,” I said as I stretched out on my couch. “Anita and I are going in tomorrow to interview the trainers.”
“So you'll get to talk to this Gilen person?”
“Probably not.” I covered my eyes with my free hand. “You know me. I try to stay in the background and not talk too much.”
“You really should be more aggressive.” Lili Belle's voice took on that same bossy tone that she always used with me. “How will you ever make them take you seriously if you don't stand up for yourself?”
It was an old argument. One we rehashed every so often, usually when one of us needed to get our minds off of something else.
“I prefer to be the unassuming person who takes everyone by surprise.” It was my standard response, but then I added a new one. “Besides, this is Anita's story. She's doing me a huge favor by letting me tag along and observe. There's only so much a person can learn in class. So much of it is hands on, learning the ropes. How to read people, how to know just the right questions to ask.”
“It sounds like you like how Anita does things,” Lili Belle said.
“I do,” I admitted. “If it wasn't for all this stuff going on with Tyrell, everything would be perfect.”
My sister was quiet for a moment. “Don't let him ruin this for you, no matter how much you like him. If you're right about him lying about why he wanted to break up, then he's definitely not worth it.”
“And if I'm wrong and he only wants to focus on the match?”
“If you tell our brothers this, I’ll deny it to the grave, but you're rarely wrong.”
I could hear the smile in her voice.
“You have that gut thing that reporters have. You know when something's off, and I've rarely known you to sense something that isn't there.”
“But if I'm right now, that means I was wrong about Tyrell before.”
“True,” she said. “But a pretty face will do that to the best of us.”
I laughed and felt some of the tension in my chest ease. This was why I missed my sister. She not only knew the right things to say to help me sort out my thoughts, but she could make me laugh even when I didn't feel like it.
“Don't forget, you just say the word, and me and the guys will drive down and beat the shit out of Tyrell.”
That made me smile bigger. “You do realize that he's huge and going for the FFC championship, right?”
She made a dismissive noise. “I could probably take him on my own, but you know the boys would want to help.”
Even though Lili Belle was beyond petite at just under five feet tall, and wouldn't weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet, a part of me didn't doubt her ability to beat up a man that much bigger than her. She could be ferocious when she wanted to, and when it came to anyone in the family, she always wanted to. She was generally scarier than any of our brothers.
“Thanks,” I said, my tone serious again. “I really appreciate you talking to me tonight. I know you have to be up early tomorrow.”
“What are big sisters for?” she asked. “I'll tell Mom and Dad you said hi.”
After the call ended, I sat in silence for a while, thinking over everything she'd said. She was right about me trusting my instincts. That, I knew, was part of what made me so upset a
bout this. I usually was a great judge of character, and if Tyrell had lied to me, then I needed to take a serious look at what had been influencing my way of thinking. If I could get that screwed up once, who was to say it wouldn't happen again when I had a bigger story on the line.
I owed it to myself to see this through, if only for my career.
I just wasn't sure if I wanted to be right or wrong.
* * *
When I told my sister that I planned to sit back and watch Anita conduct the interviews, I'd also taken into consideration that it would allow me to watch Tyrell and Gilen interact. I'd always considered myself fairly self-aware, so I knew that I was pretty, but I also knew that it was entirely possible for me to make myself essentially invisible.
So that's what I did.
I sat back and watched.
And I didn't like what I saw.
Tyrell wouldn't even look at me now, which could've supported his claim that he needed to focus. Except he didn't seem to mind looking at Gilen. And touching her.
Before, she’d touched Tyrell under the guise of helping him, but now, he was the one doing the touching. While Anita interviewed Paul, discussing his relationship with Tyrell, I watched Tyrell and Gilen talking on the other side of the gym.
Jealousy curled inside me as I watched him angle his body toward hers, his arm brushing hers. She smiled up at him, flaunting every inch of her toned body. I'd never really had body image issues, not even with my sister being so much smaller than me. I liked my curves. But seeing how Tyrell was looking at Gilen, I suddenly felt self-conscious.
And I couldn't help but wonder if that had anything to do with it. If us having slept together had made Tyrell realize that he wasn't as attracted to me as he'd thought. I didn't know anything about the women he'd dated before, but now I wondered if they looked more like Gilen than they did like me.
Maybe he’d lost respect for me as a person because I’d slept with him too soon. Just lumped me in a pile of women who wanted him for nothing more than his money or body. I pile of those was probably pretty big.
When he reached out and tucked some loose hair behind her ear, I had to look away. I didn't want to watch anymore, didn't want to see him wanting her. It didn't, however, stop me from hearing them. I couldn't make out words, but I could hear the low murmur of their voices, the low, sultry laugh that I was sure Tyrell loved. It made me think that he already knew what she sounded like in bed.
The thought of him having taken her to the same bed where we'd been together made me sick. I hadn't lied to Lili Belle when I said that I wasn't in love with Tyrell, but I'd also been telling the truth when I added that I thought I could eventually fall in love with him.
Or, at least, I could've if he'd been the man I thought he was. The more I observed, however, the more I believed that my first impression of him was wrong. Instead, he was the kind of asshole I thought most men in his position were.
“I think that's all,” Anita said.
I looked up to see Paul getting to his feet. He gave us both a polite nod and started to walk toward Tyrell. A couple minutes later, Gilen Roche took the seat that Paul had vacated. She barely gave me a cursory glance, but it was filled with enough venom to tell me that she knew Tyrell and I'd been together. Another mark of how wrong I'd been about him. I never thought he would share something so intimate.
“Ms. Roche.” Anita drew Gilen's attention. “I have some questions about your part of Mr. Smoak's training regime.”
“I'm afraid that's proprietary information, Ms. Principle.” Gilen gave a tight, snide smile. “Trade secrets, if you like. It's how I make my living, so if I tell you, then there's no need for anyone to hire me.”
I'd been worried before that I was jealous of Gilen and that envy was responsible for my intense dislike. I knew now that wasn't exactly the case. I didn't like her because she was, well...as a woman, there were certain derogatory terms that I didn't like to use for other women, but if anyone deserved to be called a bitch, it was her.
“All right, Ms. Roche,” Anita said. “Without giving away the secrets of your trade, can you tell me what it is that you do with Tyrell Smoak that helps him prepare for his upcoming match?”
“I'm a motivational life coach,” Gilen said. “I...motivate.”
I glanced at her and saw that she was looking at me, a sly expression on her face.
“And how do you do that?” Anita pressed. “Surely you can give me something.”
Gilen sighed, and I caught a shadow crossing her eyes. I frowned, my interest piqued. I'd expected anger, annoyance, any sort of negative emotion, but that wasn't what I saw on her face. I saw...hesitation. That didn't make any sense.
Unless she didn't know what to say.
The pause didn't last long, but I knew that if I'd caught it, Anita had too. She, however, didn't seem to care much about it. Gilen wasn't the story, and unless she was supplying Tyrell with drugs, whatever was going on in her mind wasn't important. And despite my lower opinion of Tyrell at the moment, I didn't believe he was using.
I tuned Gilen out as she started talking because I knew that she had nothing to say that I cared to hear. It could've been the truth or a lie, and wouldn't have mattered to me either way.
“And now, if you'll excuse me,” Gilen said as she stood. “I have to get back to work. We're kind of on a tight schedule here.”
I didn't watch her go. I didn't want to see how Tyrell greeted her. In fact, I didn't want to see anymore at all. I just wanted to do my job and get out of here.
“Was there anyone else you wanted to talk to?” I turned toward Anita. It wasn't hard keeping my voice flat.
“No,” she said as she put her tablet into her bag. “I think I have everything. Did you want to get any shots today?”
“No,” I said, forcing a smile onto my face. “Unless there's something specific you want, I'm ready to go.”
She nodded. “We'll stay at the office until Thursday, then come back in to see Tyrell spar.”
Lovely.
“After that, we should be good until the actual match.”
Well, that was something to look forward to.
I heard Gilen laugh behind me and resisted the urge to turn to see what was happening.
“So, lunch before we go back?” I asked.
Anita gave me a rare smile. “Let's make it a business lunch and put it on Ace's tab.”
I nodded and forced myself to look excited. “There's a Moroccan place one block over.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I pretended not to feel eyes on me as I followed Anita out of the gym. I didn't know if it was Gilen or Tyrell, but I didn't want to care anymore. That wasn't my life. My life was on the path I'd started out on when I decided to go to NYU, then took the job at Aces. I had a career to work on, a family back home who loved me.
I didn't need this shit.
Chapter Nine
Tyrell
Having sex with Gilen was supposed to make me get Cynthia Rose out of my head. It was supposed to be a physical release with no strings attached – a type of therapy – and I'd gotten that. Plus, Gilen had forced me to relax in a different way. For a short time, I hadn’t had to worry about anything other than the physical, and even that had been mostly in her hands. She'd made sure she got off, so even pleasing her hadn’t been my responsibility.
Thanks to Gilen, Paul had given me Sunday off too, so I should've gone into the gym on Monday morning and been on point the whole time. That wasn't the case though. While I hadn't gotten worse, I wasn't any better either. I ignored Cynthia Rose when she came in with Anita, thinking that would help, but then all I could think about was if she could tell I'd fucked Gilen. Then I started thinking about what she would've said if she'd known.
Would she have even cared? Maybe even laughed at my concern? What if she hadn’t thought of me once because she was too busy screwing someone else over the weekend?
Even when she left, I couldn't stop thinking about it, the q
uestions going around and around in my head. No matter how much Gilen flirted and touched, Cyn was all I could see. Which pissed me off even more. The girl was still causing me to lose focus. I had to stop this or I’d embarrass myself in the ring.
Somehow, I managed to get through the rest of the day without screwing up too royally. Tuesday and Wednesday were more of the same. If I was doing basic physical training, I could manage to focus. Running, lifting, squats, none of that was a problem. I could get in a standard combination on a bag without too much trouble.
Then came Thursday.
Anita and Cynthia Rose were back, and not one damn thing had changed. I still felt the same inexplicable draw to this tiny woman, felt her presence even when she was on the other side of the gym. It didn't make sense, I knew. She wasn't my type, not really, and it wasn't like the two of us had been together very long. What we had, I couldn't even be sure relationship was the right word for it. Maybe it could've been something more, but I'd ended it for good reasons. She should've been like the other women in my past, disappearing into the back of my mind after a day or two.
Except she was still fucking front and center.
I wanted to blame it on lack of sex, but Gilen had made it clear that she was willing to fuck whenever I wanted. All I had to do was say the word, but so far, I hadn't. The sex had been good enough, but every time I saw Cyn or thought about her, I felt guilty. We weren't together, but I still couldn't help feeling like I'd done something wrong.
“Ready, kid?” Paul asked as he made sure my gloves were on right. “It's just Rico, so don't kick his ass too bad.” He jerked his chin toward Anita and Cynthia Rose. “Give the ladies something to put in their magazine, and then we'll have you working on some specifics in the ring.”
I nodded, accepted the mouth guard, and watched Paul climb out of the ring. This was familiar, routine, and that was good. I wanted things to feel the same as they had before. Paul always liked to have me sparring at least once a week. After a warm up match, we'd start setting up scenarios we'd taken from my opponent's prior fights, and have me work on getting out of them.