by M. S. Parker
Dorian looked at me. “One of the reasons I agreed to let Anita Principle do the story on Tyrell is because I've always respected her work. She tells the whole truth about things. She doesn't flinch away from the bad, but she also doesn't try to sensationalize things just to make a more interesting story.”
He was right. It was one of the reasons I'd always admired her. I may not have wanted to cover sports for a living, but I wanted to have that integrity.
“I want Aces to include what you found about Gilen.”
It clicked then why he'd wanted me to stay. “And you want me to report that you fired her as soon as you found out.”
Dorian half-shrugged. “That's part of it.” He put his hands behind his back and leaned on his desk. “It'd be poor business to let people think they could fool me for long.”
“But you're not asking me to bury anything.” I didn't make it a question because I didn't doubt him.
“No. That's the other reason I wanted you to see me fire her.” His expression was still somber, but it wasn't angry, not at me anyway. “I can be an asshole sometimes, but I look after my guys, and I don't like cheaters.”
The door banged open, and suddenly Tyrell was there, looking somehow even bigger than usual. And he was clearly furious.
“What the hell just happened, Dorian? Gilen came out in tears. She could barely talk she was crying so hard.”
She was even better than I thought, to be able to get that upset between here and there.
“You need to watch yourself, Tyrell.” Dorian's voice was quiet. “Ask a question, but don't be an ass about it.”
I really wanted to leave now, but Tyrell was between me and the door. More than I wanted to leave, I wanted to stay invisible. I wasn't afraid of Tyrell hurting me, but I didn't want him to see me either.
“What happened with Gilen?” Tyrell repeated his question from behind gritted teeth.
“I fired her.”
“You can't do that!”
Dorian's eyebrows went up, and he pushed himself off the desk. “I believe this is my gym, my league. And, if I'm not mistaken, I hired Gilen to begin with.”
Tyrell's hands curled into fists. “Why?”
Dorian's eyes slid to me, and Tyrell turned.
Fuck.
His eyes narrowed. “What the hell did you say to him?”
I forced myself to meet his gaze. I wasn't the sort of person who sought conflict, but I didn't back down when it was unavoidable. “I told him the truth, just like I told you.”
“The truth?” Tyrell barked a bitter laugh. “Did you tell him all of it?” He turned back to Dorian. “Did she tell you that she made all this shit up about Gilen because she's jealous that I broke up with her?”
“I'm not making anything up.” My voice shook. “She wasn't helping you.”
“Come on, Cyn.” The look Tyrell gave me dripped with contempt. “I know I'm good in bed, but this is ridiculous.” He gestured toward the door. “Why don't you just go pick one of the other guys out there and take him to the locker room for a quick fuck? Maybe that'll get me out of your system.”
Tears burned my eyes. “You bastard,” I whispered before I turned and ran out of the office.
Chapter Thirteen
Tyrell
As soon as I said it, I regretted it.
And I sure as hell didn't mean it. I didn't want her having sex with anyone else. It didn't matter that I'd fucked Gilen. I didn't want any man having his hands on my Cyn.
“You know, Tyrell, I've been watching you for a while now.” Dorian's voice had lost its edge. “And I usually consider myself a good judge of character.”
I glared at him, unsure what he was getting at.
“I thought you were a good man, better than me. Even when I was pissed about you and Sara going out, I still thought you were a good man. Kind, hard-working, intelligent.” He folded his arms and gave me a hard look. “Now I'm thinking I was only accurate about one of them.”
“I don't need this.” I shook my head and turned to go.
“Yes, you do.”
He didn't raise his voice, but I stopped all the same. As pissed as I was about what happened, there was a still a part of my brain that was thinking straight, and I knew that Dorian Forbes could make or break my career. I didn't love Gilen. If I did, maybe I would've been willing to take the risk for her.
“Like I said, Tyrell, I've been watching you, and before you took your little trip, I would've said you were ready to take Pressman, even with three weeks of lost training. For the first couple weeks, you seemed a bit distracted, but it was in a good kind of way.”
My hands clenched into fists again. I wanted to tell him that it was none of his business, but I knew that he'd say otherwise...and he'd be right. I fought for the FFC, and that, technically, made Dorian my boss. If I lost the fight because Pressman was better, Dorian wouldn't hold it against me. If I were sick or injured, something beyond my control, he would understand. But he wouldn't be so forgiving if I lost the fight because of something stupid I brought on myself.
Dorian continued, “I'd thought this whole thing was just nerves. First, the excitement, then the anxiety. Now I get it though. It was her all along, wasn't it? Cynthia Rose.” He sighed. “This does put us in a bit of a tough spot, doesn't it?”
I didn't know what he was talking about. It seemed pretty simple to me. Whatever there'd been between us was done. It wasn't a problem anymore.
“I'm of two minds here, Tyrell,” he said. “As your boss, I have to tell you that you're probably better off staying away from women altogether. They get in your head, mess with your concentration.”
“What's the other thing, then?” I just wanted him to tell me whatever it was he had to say so I could leave and try to salvage what little chance I had of holding my own in the upcoming fight.
“As someone who learned this lesson fairly recently, I want to tell you not to lose the best thing that's ever happened to you.”
I gave him a dirty look. He and Sara had been the reason I'd gone to Hawaii to begin with, but I couldn't really blame him for any of this. This was my fault. All of it. I'd gotten involved with Cynthia Rose. I'd broken up with her. I'd fucked Gilen. I'd been an ass to Cyn. Twice.
It was all on me.
“Is that all?” I asked.
“No,” Dorian said. “There's one more thing.”
“What's that?”
“Cynthia Rose was telling the truth.” He gestured toward a file on his desk. “She brought proof. Plenty of it.”
I didn't want to hear anymore, and I didn't want to wait for him to tell me it was okay to leave.
I just went.
I walked straight past the other guys who hadn't quite returned to their training after Gilen's little stunt. Past Paul, who yelled at me. I walked out the doors, and down three blocks without even seeing where I was going. I didn't remember making the conscious decision to go into a bar, but I must have, because the next thing I knew, I was sitting there with a shot of something in front of me.
Paul would have my ass if I got drunk, but that didn't stop me from downing the shot. Wild Turkey. Not usually my go-to choice, but it got the job done. I wasn't even close to drunk, but I was starting to think that it would be a good idea. After all, things couldn't get much worse.
I motioned for the bartender to give me another shot. He did, then moved away, apparently seeing that I wanted to be left alone. I should've just downed it and asked for the bottle.
But still, there was a stubborn part of me that knew that the single shot I'd taken wouldn't be enough to mess things up. I could still go back to the gym and do my thing. If I wanted it.
A hand slid across my shoulder. “Babe, I'm so glad I found you.”
I tensed but didn't look at Gilen.
“You need to talk to Mr. Forbes. This was all just a misunderstanding.” She settled on the bar stool next to me, but I still didn't look at her. She put her hand on my knee. “I promise you, babe, I
didn't do what that bitch says I did.”
Now I did turn.
“You look so tense.” She stood and stepped between my legs, sliding her hands up my thighs. “Let's go back to your place. I'll help you relax, then we can talk about getting me back into the gym.”
“Why are you here, Gilen?”
“For you, of course.” She leaned forward, intending to kiss me, but I turned my face so that her lips brushed against my jaw. “You don't believe me.” Her voice was tight.
“I don't know what to believe,” I said honestly. “Dorian said Cynthia Rose had proof that she was telling the truth.”
Gilen went still. “Proof of what?”
I locked my eyes with hers, hoping to read the truth or lie of my next words. “Proof that you were trying to sabotage me. That you're Hollin Pressman's girlfriend, and that's why you're here.”
She didn't look away, but I saw something flicker across her eyes anyway.
“Come on, Ty. You know me.” She squeezed my thigh and tried to move her other hand someplace a lot more personal.
“Stop.” I grabbed her wrist. “I think you need to stay away from me.”
Her eyes narrowed, and I caught a flash of something I hadn't seen before, something dark and sinister. I stood up, still holding her wrist, and moved until the bar stool was between us. As soon as it was, I dropped her hand and resisted the urge to rub my palm against my leg.
“She got in your head, didn't she?” Gilen's voice was hard, nothing like the sultry tone she'd used on me before. Even when she ordered me around, she always made it sound sexy.
Guilt and shame washed over me. Was this really who I'd lost Cynthia Rose for? Granted, I hadn't exactly broken up with Cyn so I could be with this woman, but I'd listened to Gilen, and then ended up in bed with her.
“I told you that would happen,” Gilen continued. “I told you that if you weren't careful, a relationship could ruin your chances of winning the fight.”
“Let me see your phone.”
She looked at me, startled, though I couldn't tell if it was because of what I said, or how I said it. It wasn't a request.
“No.” She set her jaw. “I'm not giving you my phone.”
“I just want to see if Hollin Pressman's number's in there. If it's not, I'll go straight to the gym and tell Dorian to hire you back.”
I watched her carefully. It was a bit of a risk, asking for her phone. If she'd covered her tracks as well as Cynthia Rose had implied, then there was a good chance she was using a burner phone that wouldn't have Pressman's number. But, if Gilen was as arrogant as I thought she was, then she probably had her regular phone with her because she'd never imagine the need to hide it.
It wasn't until then that I realized I wasn't asking for her phone to prove her innocence. I believed Cynthia Rose and was calling Gilen's bluff.
Instead of looking like she was backed into a corner, she gave me a seductive smile and stepped around the bar stool. She crowded against me, pressing her breasts against my arm as she took my hand. “Let's go back to your place,” she said. “I promise to show you everything I have.”
If she'd gotten mad, told me that I had no business with her phone, I might've given her the benefit of the doubt. The fact that she was trying to seduce me into forgetting what happened told another story – this woman had something to hide.
Cyn had been right all along.
“Gilen, I've never hit a woman, and I'd like it to stay that way, but if you don't get the hell away from me, things might change.”
All of the softness and sex went right out of her. Gilen straightened and took a step back, giving me a disgusted look. “I don't know why Hollin bothered to send me after you. You're not a threat to him. You can't even get your own shit together.”
She stomped away, but I didn't bother watching her go. She was right. I was no threat to anyone. I was in great physical shape, better than I'd ever been, but my head was a mess.
I knew that I should go back to the gym and hope that Paul could pull off a miracle to get me ready for Saturday. Dorian said that I needed to steer clear from women, and I was beginning to wish that I'd taken that advice from moment one.
Picking up my still-full shot glass, I scowled at it. No, I didn't wish that. I wished I'd been smart enough to have not fallen for the bullshit Gilen fed me. But I didn't wish I'd kept Cynthia Rose at arm's length. I wished I would've kept her close, ignored Gilen's advice and figured out how to balance having Cyn in my life.
I needed her.
I'd tried to complicate it, but it really was that simple. I didn't just want Cynthia Rose, I needed her in my life. The past week and a half had been excruciating. Sex with Gilen had been a physical release, and I tried – no, I wanted to believe her when she said that was all I needed. While it'd given me a short burst of thoughtlessness, there'd been no clarity, no clearing of my mind to allow me to focus.
I'd had casual sex in the past, but this time, I hadn't received that feeling of satisfaction I'd felt before. After the pleasure faded, all I'd been able to feel was ashamed, like I'd betrayed something real.
I didn't need sex to get my head on right. I needed closure. I couldn't just leave things with Cynthia Rose like they were right now. I had to at least try to make things right. If for no other reason than to let her know I believed her and appreciated her having my back.
Even if I didn’t deserve it.
And even if she didn't forgive me, at least I would've tried and I'd know where I stood. I needed to apologize to the woman I’d wronged. I couldn't go into this weekend with so much up in the air.
I was just hoping that Dorian's comment about how he didn't want me to lose Cyn meant that he'd be understanding when I went to see her instead of going back to the gym.
Even if he wasn't, I had to take the chance.
Chapter Fourteen
Cynthia Rose
“That son of a bitch!”
I held my phone away from my ear as my sister cursed, calling Tyrell every name under the sun, including a few I was sure she'd made up. Lili Belle had been angry enough when Tyrell broke up with me. I'd known telling her about everything that’d happened since the last time I'd spoken with her would piss her off even more, but I had to talk to someone.
Thankfully, it was early on a Monday afternoon, which meant her classes at the school where she taught music were done, but she hadn't yet started on the week's paperwork for the family farm. No matter how upset I was, I wouldn't have interrupted her at work.
“I'm coming for a visit,” Lili Belle said in a rush. “And I'm going to kick that boy's ass from here 'til next week.”
“I appreciate the offer,” I said with a watery smile that she couldn't see. “But I'm really more pissed at myself.”
“Why?” She sounded incredulous, and I wouldn't have expected anything else. “You didn't do anything wrong. You were looking out for his ungrateful ass!”
“I'm mad because I should've known better,” I said. “I'm usually a better judge of character than that. I knew better than to date a jock.”
“Does anyone really call them that outside of eighties Saturday morning television shows?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to my sister to bring humor into a situation I didn't find humorous at all.
“You know what I mean,” I said. “We knew plenty of douchebags like him in school, and they don't change after they graduate.”
“You do remember that two of our brothers are douchebags like that, right?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Come on, Tommy and Robbie can't be that bad.”
“They're not,” she said. “But Tommy's talking about pledging a frat this fall, so who knows what new habits he's going to pick up.”
I knew she wasn't really worried. Tommy was nineteen, Robbie sixteen, and I hadn't seen them much since I'd left home for NYU, but I knew my family well enough to know that if either of my younger brothers stepped out of line, they'd be in serious troubl
e.
Before she could turn the subject completely to our family, someone knocked on my door.
“Hold on a second,” I said. “Someone's here.”
I looked through the peephole and my stomach flipped. I was glad I hadn't eaten anything today.
“I have to go.” I hung up before she could ask any additional questions. I didn't want to explain what I was about to do. I didn't think I could because I didn't understand it myself.
I opened the door and looked up at Tyrell. We stood there for a moment in silence, and then I stepped aside, motioning for him to come in. Whatever he was here for, it wasn't something I wanted shared with my neighbors. The confrontation in front of Dorian had been enough embarrassment for the day.
I closed the door but didn't move away from it. I wasn't going to sit.
“Say whatever it is you came to say.” I didn't put my head down, but I didn't look directly at him either. It hurt too much.
“I've been an ass.” The words were harsh, broken.
I wasn't going to argue with that.
He came toward me but stopped when he was close enough to touch. I curled my fingers into fists. No touching.
“I am so sorry, Cyn.” His voice was soft.
I wasn't going to make this easy for him. Not after what he'd done. “Sorry about what?”
“For everything that happened from the moment you left my place two weeks ago.” He reached out and his fingers skimmed my cheek. “I was scared. I fucked up.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “You did.”
His index finger curled under my chin and he raised my head and met his eyes. “I don't deserve forgiveness,” he continued. “And I won't disrespect you by giving some excuse for my behavior. I made the wrong choices. One right after the other, leading straight to where we are now.”
There was no doubting the sincerity in his voice, and that twisted me up inside. He wasn't apologizing because he thought he could get something out of it, and while it was apparent he felt guilty, I knew it wasn't for himself.