I went to Mom’s for dinner. Visited Robert and Galen and helped serve a couple meals at the shelter. I stopped in at the diner a few times. There was more laughter in my life. Oh, I still missed Brian terribly, but that soul-deep ache that I’d never been able to let go of had dulled to a soft pain when I saw things he might have liked.
Overall, I would say I was reborn, which made the phoenix glass I’d ordered an even better idea. I told Robert about it, and he said it was brilliant. He said he couldn’t wait to see the final piece once it was done.
When the phone rang with a number I didn’t know, I almost didn’t answer it, but something told me I needed to take the call. I swiped my thumb over the screen, then held the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Mr. Kotke? This is Aiden. You know, from the restaurant.”
He’d emailed me a couple times, letting me know that he’d be contacting me directly to discuss the project and get specifications. “Oh, hi. How are you?”
“Um. I’m okay. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the order you placed on Etsy.”
I stretched out, crossing my legs. “Yes?”
“I know you put down a deposit, but custom glass is expensive.”
A grin slid into place. “Okay. Are you saying you can’t do the job?”
“What? Oh no! Nothing like that. It’s just… I don’t want you to be shocked when you get the bill for the rest.”
“I’m guessing you think it’s overly expensive.”
He cleared his throat. “Maybe a thousand dollars.” Then, as if he was afraid I’d change my mind, he plowed on. “It’s a big piece, and it’s going to require a lot of time and work. I can see about working out a discount or a payment plan if that helps.”
“That’s okay. I still want it, if you’re up to doing it.”
“Really?” I could hear his surprise. “Like, really really?”
I laughed at his eagerness and shock, and damn, it felt good. “Yes, like, really really.” I thought for a minute. I didn’t know anything about Aiden, but something about him called to me. I’d never been one to shy away from my gut feelings, and I wouldn’t do so now. “Would you like to meet for coffee so we can discuss it?”
“Sure. The diner?”
The idea had merit, but this wasn’t a date, and I didn’t want anyone assuming anything.
“How about the Starbucks? I’ll even throw in a chocolate biscotti.”
“You had me at chocolate. When should we meet?”
I pulled the phone back and checked the time. “It’s three now. Would an hour be enough time?”
Aiden paused. “Oh.” There was so much sadness in that one word. “Olivia is at work, and she’s my ride.”
There was disappointment in his voice, and I hated hearing it. “I could pick you up.”
“Yes! That would be great, if you would.” He paused. “You know, I can make coffee here. I’ve got the computer and stuff, and I could show you what the steps are for your project. I mean, if you want to know.”
Well, I couldn’t see anything wrong with learning new things. “Sure, I’d like that. Give me the address.”
I wrote down what he told me—an apartment complex not too far from my house.
“I can come by shortly, if you’re ready. It’ll take me about thirty minutes.”
“That works. I’ll start the coffee now. See you soon.”
He hung up, and I went in to get my keys. My stomach fluttered at the thought of spending time with Aiden, and I knew it was silly. He might not be gay, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be interested in someone almost twenty years his senior. Still, it felt good to think I was getting back on that horse, so I ignored all the problems that I could see cropping up.
No, it was better to go there, see how he worked with stained glass, and maybe make a friend along the way.
Still, I would stop at Pick ’n Save and grab some chocolate pastries from the bakery. Why tempt fate, right?
I put the top down on the restored 1965 Ford Mustang convertible done with a burning brick paint job. I hadn’t driven it in years because after Brian’s health took a dive, we needed something sturdier to get around in. While Brian had worked on his flowers, I was under the car, bringing this classic beauty I’d salvaged from a junkyard back to life.
She still drove like a dream, and I couldn’t believe how much I’d missed the wind whipping through my hair, the sun streaming down, kissing my face. It made me want to keep driving and never stop. Still, I remembered to grab a few dozen assorted chocolate pastries, then got back in and headed off to see Aiden.
The apartment building on Cambridge was done up in Cream City brick. It was a nice place, even if it seemed a bit small, especially if Aiden was going to be making stained glass at home. I walked up the cobblestone path and stopped at the call panel. I scanned the names until I found Olivia and Aiden’s apartment. A quick tap of the button resulted in a breathless hello over the tinny speaker.
“Hi, it’s Tom Kotke.”
The door buzzed, and I pulled it open and stepped into the long well-lit hallway. Before I could take more than a few steps, a click sounded down the hall, and a moment later, Aiden’s head came into view, and he waved at me.
“Mr. Kotke!”
I returned the wave and strode to where he was. “Tom, please.”
“Oh, okay. Would you like to come in?”
He stepped back and reached around to pull out a walker. He gripped the handles and moved slowly into the living room. “Sorry about this. I’m… I’m not having the best day.”
“It’s fine. Take your time.” The truth was, I could see the pain on his face as he walked, and what I really wanted was to take that away.
He got to the couch and dropped down with an oof. “Hate that damn thing, but it’s better than the chair.”
“I can see that.” I held out the bag. “Maybe some chocolate will help.”
His eyes widened. “Oh, hell yeah.” He snatched the bag, opened it, reached in, and pulled out a Boston cream donut. He held it up to his nose and took a deep whiff. “Oh, baby. That’s the stuff.”
Before I could say anything, he had three-quarters of the pastry stuffed in his mouth, an appreciative moan sliding out. When he looked up and realized I was watching, his cheeks pinked. He swallowed hard.
“I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
He waved a hand at the bag. “Making a pig of myself. Not asking if it was okay that I took one. I… I don’t know. I just feel like I need to apologize for my behavior. Olivia would throw a hissy if she found out.”
I nudged the bag closer. “Our secret, then.”
He squinted at me. “You sure? I wouldn’t put it past Olivia to get you to help with her dirty work.”
Though I had no clue what the scout sign was, I held up my fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
He laughed. “That’s not a scout sign. Looks more like you’re getting ready to fist someone.”
The moment the words left his lips, Aiden’s eyes opened wide.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…. Fuck.” He scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck and groaned. “Okay, I’m sorry for that and for saying fuck.” He tossed his head back and groaned. “Shoot me, please.”
There was no way I could hold in the laugh that bubbled out of me. “You’re funny.”
That brought him up short. His head snapped forward as he gave me a suspicious glare. “You think so?” He sighed and nibbled his bottom lip. “Most people find me annoying. Probably explains why I’ve never had a boyfriend.” He clapped a hand over his mouth, and I was rolling with laughter.
“Let me guess. Olivia limits your sugar intake because it makes you a little hyper?”
He shrugged. “Just a little. I mean, seriously, what does she expect? Who in their right mind says no to sugar?” He seemed wary. “My being gay isn’t going to bother you, right? I mean, I could suggest someone else for the window if you want.”
God, he was
freaking adorable. “Nope. You’re the one I want to do this. I think your work is incredible, and I would be honored to have you creating something unique for me.”
“Wow. That’s…. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” He eyed the bag. “Could I have another?”
“When is Olivia coming home?”
“Midnight. She’s pulling a late night, helping with some project.”
“Okay, then, sure, you can have another.”
He practically tore the bag open to get at a chocolate-glazed long john, filled with chocolate creme. “Oh, these are my favorite!”
He licked at the hole where they’d injected the filling, and my mind went into overdrive with thoughts about better uses for that tongue.
Yup. Way too long since I’d been laid.
When he did it again, I bit back a groan. This kid was going to be the death of me.
Chapter Five
EVEN HYPED up on sugar, Aiden was a wonder at the computer. His hands moved gracefully but with such speed that I was stunned. He worked on a program, with me standing behind him, trying to make sense of what he was doing.
He pointed to the monitor. “I know the site showed bits of blue glass in here, but what do you think if we went with various shades of red for the fire? Something to make it really stand out.”
“What’s your opinion?”
He beamed. “I think it would be more dramatic. Here, let me show you both.”
He clicked a few buttons, and another window opened next to the original. He started to fill in the design with different colors when I stopped him.
“What? You don’t like the red? I mean, we can do any color you like.”
“Tell you what. I’m going to leave this project in your hands. You’re the artist, and I’m dying to see what you create without any kind of interference from me.”
He spun around in his chair, his mouth wide-open. “You’d trust me? But what if I make a mistake? I don’t want you to hate it.”
His workroom had glass hanging in every conceivable location. There wasn’t a single piece that didn’t speak of someone who put his heart and soul into everything he did.
I waved a hand to indicate his work. “Look at what you’ve accomplished.” I reached out and squeezed his shoulder, hoping my gesture wouldn’t be misconstrued. “I would be a fool not to.”
“I…. Thank you.” His eyes shone in the light. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Well, how about you tell me how long you think it’ll take to make?”
He frowned. “This is the biggest project I’ve ever had to do.” He stared off into the distance, and I saw his fingers twitch, as if he was ticking off numbers. “Four, maybe six weeks. I can try to hurry it, but—”
“Six weeks is fine. Take longer if you need. I was just curious. By the way, can I say something and be frank with you?”
He nodded.
“I think you’re undervaluing the price of your work. Looking at your creations, it’s clear to me you should probably be charging at least twice what you’re doing.”
The shock on Aiden’s face was evident. “But…. Why?”
“Well, when you come up with pricing, what do you factor in?”
“The cost of the material mostly, but I also need to go out to use specialized equipment at some shops around town.”
“And do you charge for that?”
“Yeah, a few bucks.”
“See, that’s where you’re not charging what you’re worth. You should be factoring in the costs of materials, the use or rental of equipment, your time, contingencies, and how long it takes you to make a product.”
Aiden gawped. “That seems… I don’t know. Excessive.”
“Okay, let’s put this another way. You said it would be several weeks to take care of my order. During that time, how many other projects will you be able to work on? What you’re doing is very specialized, so you need to look at that too. That thousand dollars? That’s not nearly enough for the time and effort you’re putting in.”
“So you’re saying you want me to charge you more?”
I chuckled. He reached for the donuts like he was on autopilot, snagged a chocolate glazed filled with jelly, and sat there nibbling it while I continued.
“I’m saying if you want this to be something more than a hobby, you need to cost out your products and get paid what you’re worth.”
“Mm. I underftand.” His cheeks were stuffed with the entire donut, and it made his words sound funny.
“Bet Olivia would love to see you now.”
Those chipmunk cheeks of his went scarlet. He swallowed hard and brushed the corners of his lips. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you’re so into your food.”
I glanced into the kitchen, and the clock on the microwave told me I’d been there for almost five hours. When Aiden yawned, I knew it was time for me to go. “All right, thank you for letting me come by to see the project in the works. It’s fascinating.”
He actually seemed disappointed. He made to stand, but I waved him off.
“Rest, it’s fine.” I got up. “I’ll close the door behind me.”
He cocked his head and regarded me curiously. “Before you go, can I ask you a question?”
I settled in the chair once more. “Okay, shoot.”
“How come you haven’t asked about my walker and chair?” He tapped a hand on his leg. “It’s usually one of the first things people ask. Especially when they take on a project with me. They seem to think that these,” he said, indicating his legs again, “will keep me from getting the work done properly. But you? You didn’t even look at them.”
How best to answer that…. “I knew you had something wrong with your legs. I saw it when we were at the diner, and with the way Olivia hovered, I figured it must be something pretty severe. But, and this is just my thoughts, that doesn’t mean a damned thing. Your work is done with your hands, and I’m willing to bet that even if something was wrong with those, you’d still find a way to create incredible things.” I grinned, trying to put Aiden at ease. “You’re the first person I’ve met who can stuff three donuts in his mouth at once. You’re not the type to give up easily when you want something.”
His cheeks pinked. “Thank you.”
“Did you want to tell me about your legs? No matter what, it won’t impact my wanting you to do the glass.”
He blew out a breath. “It’s called Legg-Calvé-Perthes, a hip disorder initiated by a disruption of blood flow to the head of the femur. Due to the lack of blood flow, the bone dies and stops growing.”
I’d never heard of such a thing. “And what have they done? Or, I guess, what can they do?”
“Maybe if my parents had taken me to the doctor sooner, things wouldn’t have progressed to the point they have. Who knows? Either way, the damage was done by the time Livvy took me in. They had to reorient the bones and put in some pins and screws to stabilize everything. It’s a lot better than it was, but it’s never going to be 100 percent. I get tired if I have to move around a lot, and there are days I have quite a bit of pain.” He brightened. “But I’m not going to let it keep me from doing what I love.”
“Good. You’re excellent at it, and I would hate to think that kind of talent would be lost.”
“Thank you. That’s really nice of you to say.” Aiden turned away slightly. “I’ve had to work harder to get taken seriously. Even when I went to my classes, the other people there seemed to think I had to be coddled. It was always ‘Oh, here. Let me do that for you’ or ‘Are you sure you can handle that? It’s pretty big.’ Never once did anyone say, ‘Hey, you’re doing great! Keep up the good work.’”
“Not even Olivia?”
“Psh. She doesn’t count. She’s my sister. There’s a rule that says you have to be nice to your brother, even when you want to choke him.”
I thought about Robert and all the times I’d wanted to throttle him. “Yeah, no. That rule doesn’t exist
.” I moved closer and put a hand on his shoulder. “Too many people see what they believe are a person’s limitations. I see a person who is strong enough to overcome them. What you’re doing is extraordinary, and not because your legs work differently. If I’m honest, it’s more likely them seeing a problem is what made you stand up and work twice as hard to show them you’re every bit as good as they are.”
He chuckled. “Olivia says she has to work three times harder to prove that she’s as capable as any man. And even after that, there’s a guy in her office who will still try to mansplain things to her like she’s an idiot. And she sits there and seethes while he’s doing it, just waiting for him to stop talking long enough to rip his tongue out.”
Why did it make me so proud to know that Aiden had someone fierce in his corner?
“She sounds like an incredible sister.”
“You don’t know the half of it. She took me in after I told her I was gay, and then when our father told her I was no longer welcome home, she did everything she could to make this place somewhere I felt safe and happy. She’s been more of a mother and father to me than both our parents, and…. Oh, I’m oversharing again. Sorry.”
“No, not at all.” Listening to Aiden speak, I couldn’t help but think back to my parents. When I came out as gay at twelve, they took me to Chuck E. Cheese and we had a party. A few years later, when Robert came out, they waited until I got home from school, and then we went out again. Never once did they make me feel weird or different. All they ever made both of us feel was loved.
“My parents aren’t like that. They’re…. God, I can’t even begin to describe how awesome they are. Robert and I never had to worry about whether they’d accept us for who we are. They were fair and even-handed when dealing with both of us. Never once did I feel like they played favorites. I guess I just can’t see how a person who says they love you in one breath can suddenly change their minds.” I wasn’t sure how much I should relate, but I had to tell Aiden about my father. “My dad? He’s this big, buff, butch man. He’s six-and-a-half feet tall, has red hair, and sports a beard and mustache. If you saw him, you’d probably think lumberjack. The day I went in to tell them I was gay, I stood close to my mom, because I was terrified about how he’d react, even though I should have known better. He jumped out of his chair and stomped toward me. I cowered and covered my face with my hands. He grabbed me and I screamed until I realized he was holding me to his chest, telling me how fucking proud of me he was for coming out to them. It was the one and only time I feared my father, and it’s the one thing I’m most ashamed of.”
Stained Hearts Page 5