“I’ll vouch for you if you’ll do the same for me.”
“Hey!” Aiden sneered at the two of us. “You’re both jerks. You know that?”
“I’m sorry. Did you hear something, Olivia?”
“Nope. Not a thing.”
Aiden frowned. “Fine.” He leaned with one hand on his walker and used the other to dust off his suit coat, fix his tie, and pat down his hair. “Are you both happy now?”
I laughed and pulled him close to me. “You look fine. We’re just teasing.”
It was then I noticed how pale he was.
“Are you okay?”
“Am I okay? I’m about to meet the parents of a guy I like, and he’s asking if I’m okay. Hell no, I’m not okay.” He fluttered his eyes. “What if they hate me? What if I say something stupid?” He opened his eyes wide. “Oh my God, we had burritos last night. What if I fart?”
Olivia looked at me, and we both burst out laughing.
“It’s not funny!”
I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “It kinda is. My dad is famous for his farts, so maybe the two of you can find some common ground.” I nudged him gently. “Just do it outside.”
“We should do this a different day.” He turned toward the car. “Maybe next month would be better.”
Olivia shook her head. “He’s such a drama queen.”
“No, I think he’s really freaked-out.” I caught up with him when he was a few yards away. “Aiden, stop.”
He did but stood there, his eyes closed and his chest heaving. “I don’t want them to hate me.”
“Oh, they won’t. I swear to you. My mom loves everyone, and Dad is a nurturer. He’s more likely to bundle you up and take you out onto the swing if he thinks you need a break from the noise.”
Olivia came up beside us and put a hand on Aiden’s arm. “Aiden, Tom and I were teasing. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were so worried. I’ll be right with you the whole time.”
“Are you ready to do this? For me?”
It was a low blow, but if it got him in the house, then that was okay with me. He didn’t move, though. He stood there, trembling.
“Tom?”
I looked over my shoulder and found Mom standing in the doorway. I shook my head, and she gave me a nod. With the purpose only a mom can have, she strode toward us and made a beeline for Aiden.
“You must be Aiden.” She put a hand on his back. “I’m Rachel. I’m so glad you and your sister have come to visit.”
He tensed. Mom tilted her head toward the house, which was her oh-so-subtle way of telling me to go away. I took Olivia’s hand and led her to the house, which apparently didn’t sit well with her.
“What’s going on?”
“He’ll be in soon. Mom is going to talk with him and let him know he’s welcome.”
I pushed open the door to the house, and there stood my father, beaming a smile at us.
“Oh my God.” Olivia’s head tilted back, back, back. “He’s not going to eat us, is he?”
Dad laughed. “No, we’re going vegetarian tonight.” He held out a hand. “Dwight Kotke.”
She took it, and Dad’s massive mitt engulfed her much smaller hand. “Olivia Dawson.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Galen’s told us so much about you, and it’s an honor to have you here.”
He took her into the living room, and Galen’s excitement was obvious in his voice. I stood watching through the window, worried that even my mom’s persuasive powers might not be enough to get Aiden into the house. I shouldn’t have doubted her. After a minute, maybe two, the door swung open and Aiden stood there, with Mom behind him, looking into the lion’s den.
Dad came up from behind me, and Aiden’s eyes went wide. “Come on in, Aiden. It’s nice to have you here.” He walked over to Aiden and held out his hand. “Dwight Kotke. Listen, Olivia said you and I have something in common, so let me ask you, why do farts smell?”
Aiden’s mouth opened, then closed. Finally he snickered. “For the benefit of people who are hearing-impaired!”
And just like that, he and my dad were the best of friends.
Dad led Aiden into the living room, where the two of them pored over the net for more fart jokes, doing their best to one-up each other. They laughed, they clapped each other on the back, and before long, Aiden was chatting with everyone.
Mom, of course, had to get involved. She walked over to Aiden, put a hand on his shoulder, and said loud enough for the whole room to hear, “Why don’t little girls fart?”
Aiden looked at my dad, who rolled his eyes. “Because they don’t have assholes until they’re married. Really, Rach, you’ve got to learn some new jokes if you want to keep up with the big boys.” Then he waggled his brows, which had everyone—especially Aiden—busting a gut.
Olivia leaned in close. “Your parents are geniuses.”
I shrugged as we surveyed the scene unfolding before us. “Mom’s always been good with people, and Dad’s got a gift.” Then I realized what I’d said. “Beyond farting, I mean.”
“Aiden’s hardly ever warmed up this fast to anyone before. Usually he sits in the corner and watches, and even then, there’s no guarantee he’ll join in.”
Watching him, it was hard to believe. He was telling bawdy jokes to Robert and Galen, and had Mom rolling with a song he made up about farts. But when his gaze slid toward me and Olivia, I knew the truth. He was looking for his anchors. Aiden was doing his best, but he still needed to be sure he wasn’t alone. I winked at him, and he went right back to talking with everyone else.
When Mom called that dinner was ready, we all headed to the dining room. She’d set up a feast with everything from soups and salads to two types each of cakes and pies. She moved fluidly through the group, filling iced tea, clearing plates, and more than once, ruffling Aiden’s hair.
I was so grateful to them both for making Olivia and Aiden feel at home.
As we took our leave that night, Mom called me into the kitchen. I told Olivia I’d be out in a few minutes to help with Aiden. She scowled and asked me if I thought she’d never gotten him ready to travel before. I held up my hands in surrender, then headed off for the kitchen. When I got there, Mom was at the sink, washing the dishes.
“You know you have a dishwasher. Robert and I got it for you for Christmas one year so you wouldn’t have to do this.”
She turned and gave me the sweetest expression. It scared me to my core. “I do this because it’s how I honor my family. If I use the dishwasher for this, how long before I don’t want to cook for you all? Maybe we should just have some buckets of Kentucky Fried for Thanksgiving too.”
“We could.” I took a step closer. “Mom, what’s this about?”
She drew in a deep breath, then blew it out slowly. “When Brian died, I never thought we’d have a family dinner again.”
“What do you mean? We had them the last few months.”
She shook her head. “No, we had dinner.” She turned to me, and the sadness in her gaze was damned near overwhelming. “Our family wasn’t whole. We went through the motions, but Brian was our spark. He was the center of your universe, and that brought us into his orbit. When he died, all that went away. Now you’ve brought Aiden and Olivia here, and the house is bursting with love again. Your father told me how much he likes Aiden.”
I could understand that. The two of them got along like Brian and Mom used to.
“And what about you?”
“He’s delightful. He’s sunshine that’s chasing away the shadows in a dark room. His smile lights up everyone it touches.” She grinned. “Including you.”
The way her gaze bored into me, I knew she knew.
“He definitely brightens a room.”
“That he does.” She came over and kissed me on the cheek. “Tell them we expect to see them next week.”
And like that, the conversation was over. I was grateful, because I still wasn’t ready to say the words out loud.
> But knowing my parents liked Aiden? That went a long way to making me want to say them soon.
Chapter Thirteen
FOR THE next three weeks, Aiden and Olivia joined me at my parents’ house for dinner on Sunday. Aiden would stride in, full of confidence and attitude, and exchange a joke he found hilarious with Dad. Mom said if they kept it up, she was going to have to separate the two of them. Behind their backs, she covered her mouth when she laughed.
Aiden, to his credit, fussed over the fact he hadn’t finished the stained glass yet. But I didn’t care if it took longer. I wasn’t in a hurry for it, and spending time with him brought me so much joy. He would tell me he needed to work on it, and I would find something else to occupy our time. On the days he insisted he had things to do, I would tell him to work on any other projects he had, because mine could wait. He wasn’t happy, but he did what I asked.
Plus, I was so damned happy to see him fitting in with my parents, Galen, Robert, Marco, and Andy. Mom would beam every time she saw him laughing or playing with them. Whether he knew it or not, Aiden was stepping out of the self-imposed isolation he’d mired himself in, and was coming to find that most people—especially the family we were part of—were good, caring people who loved him for who he was.
It wasn’t seamless, of course—few family blendings were. Mom’s big thing was to take the newest members into the kitchen. It was a big thing, because being invited into the kitchen meant you were accepted and welcome. I was proud to say no one ever turned down the opportunity to score points with Mom.
Until Aiden.
The third week, Mom asked him into the kitchen, but things didn’t go as she’d expected. They were in there ten, maybe fifteen minutes, when a crash preceded the shouting.
“Why? Tell me why? Is it because I’m crippled? Is that what it is? You had no problems with Olivia offering last weekend, so why now is it a problem for me?”
“That is not what I said, and you damn well know it!”
“No, not in your words. Your gestures, your condescending attitude? Those spoke volumes.”
“Aiden, I—”
“Forget it.” He came crashing through the door, and his gaze landed on me. “Take me home. Now.” His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes narrowed.
Olivia got up, went to him, and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.
I stood and pinned them both with a glare. “No.”
He snarled. “What the fuck do you mean, no?”
“You’re going to turn around and apologize to my mother.”
“The hell I am! She didn’t want me to help because she only sees me as a cripple.”
Mom came out of the kitchen, her eyes filled with tears. My mom? She never, ever cried, at least not where anyone could see her. “Aiden, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He glanced over his shoulder, and what he saw must have shocked him, because he stopped dead in his tracks.
I stepped forward, but Mom held up a hand. “This is between me and Aiden. Stay out of it, Tom.”
I stepped away. Funny how even as an adult, Mom could totally get me to back off.
“Aiden, you know that’s not what I said to you.” She moved closer.
Aiden turned to me, but I wasn’t about to step in on this one. He stared at me, though he was talking to Mom. “Then why wouldn’t you let me help?” His lower lip quivered. “Am I so broken?” With that, he turned to her and started sobbing.
Mom rushed to him and wrapped him in her arms. “You’re not broken, sweetheart.”
“My parents didn’t want me. I was the butt of all kinds of hilarious jokes at school. Everyone looks at me with either disgust or sympathy. I hated seeing that on your face. I just hated it.”
“Stop. Look at me.”
He tilted his head up and peered into her eyes. Everyone else in the room seemed to find other interesting things to look at. Even Olivia was in the corner talking with Galen.
“What I said was you didn’t need to stand to help me. I was going to pull over the stool so you could sit beside me. Was it because of your legs? Yes, I won’t lie. I wanted you comfortable while we chatted. In no way was that meaning I thought you were unable to do the job or that I didn’t want you there. Quite the opposite, in fact. You and I are going to have a nice, long conversation, and we should both be comfortable while doing it.” She turned to me. “Tom, go wash dishes. Aiden and I are going to sit on the swing.”
“But—”
She stabbed a finger toward the kitchen. “Dishes, Thomas.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I headed for the kitchen but glanced over my shoulder. Mom was leading Aiden outside, and when he looked back and saw me, he turned away. Something was gnawing at my gut, and I wasn’t quite sure what it was. I went into the kitchen, grabbed the scrubber, and got elbow-deep in the wash water.
I stood there for over an hour, the dishes pretty much untouched, and each moment that passed had me wanting to go find out what was going on with Aiden. Fortunately Mom saved me by coming back into the house. She beckoned to me, and I hurried to where she stood.
“He needs you, Tom.”
“What’s wrong?”
She drew in a breath. “We talked, and he opened up some. I think he’s got serious abandonment issues. First his parents, then some guy at school. He wants to get out of the house so Olivia can be rid of him too.”
“What? That’s not true. She loves Aiden.”
“I know that. I can see how she jumped to him when he was upset. Go talk with him. Let him know he’s not alone in the world anymore.” She patted me on the arm, then found my father and took a seat beside him. She tucked her head onto his chest. Whatever Aiden told her must have hit her hard, because she didn’t usually do things like that.
I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. Aiden sat there, his head in his hands. I went to him and sat down.
“She told you, huh?”
“Only that you needed me.” There was a familiar thrum in my chest at the thought. “Wanna talk?”
He shrugged. “What’s there to say? Will it change anything?” He gestured to the house. “They’re all such good people, and I’m… I’m a fuckup.”
I slipped an arm over his shoulder. “Why do you say that?”
He turned to me. “I made her cry! How can you not hate me right now?”
Oh, my poor Aiden. “She cried because she was afraid she’d hurt you.”
He shook his head harshly. “She wants me to leave.”
I chuckled. “I can guarantee you that if I let you leave, she’d castrate me.”
“Why? She barely knows me.”
“You might think that, but she pays attention. Do you know why she wanted you to go into the kitchen with her?” I pulled him a little closer. “Mom vets everyone. She gets the final say in who keeps on coming to family dinner. Last time it was Olivia—today it was you. Why? Because she loves you both. If she didn’t, you wouldn’t have made it into her kitchen. I would have been told in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t to invite either of you again. The fact that she took you to her inner sanctum means you’re family now, and nothing is going to change that.”
Aiden barked a laugh. “I bet she’s regretting that now.”
I blew out a breath and sat back. “Listen to me. No, don’t simply listen. Hear me. I get that you’re afraid everyone is going to leave you behind. I know that’s not something you can just get over. I lost Brian, so I understand that no one can plan for all the eventualities of life. Here, though? You have a family. One who, in time, will grow to love you as their own son. They will always be there for you.”
“And what happens if we have a falling out?”
I figured that question would be coming. “I’ll be honest with you. If you and I have a falling out, we might not see each other again, but these people here? They’ll always be here for you. My parents don’t take sides. During our first big fight, I complained to them that Brian was inflexible. That he was sure he was always
right, and nothing could dissuade him from that belief. Mom asked me if he was wrong. It took her almost an hour of grilling me, but I had to admit, no, he wasn’t. See, she wouldn’t take my side, even though I’m the one who buys her Mother’s Day gifts.”
He snickered. “Why do I think Brian was the one who bought them?”
“Oh my God, you too? I can shop, you know.” I squeezed his neck. “Don’t tell anyone, but Brian did buy them and signed my name to the card. I’m awful at remembering dates.”
Aiden sighed and relaxed against me. “I’ve messed up, haven’t I?”
I kissed him on the head. “No. If getting upset was the only thing it took to mess up, I’d have been out of the family long ago.” I stood. “Come back in, with your head held high, and apologize. I promise you that Mom’s already forgiven you, but it won’t hurt to say it.”
He groaned. “Why do I keep doing this?”
“Do you want me to tell you what I think?”
He nodded.
I sat down again. “I think you’re afraid that everyone will leave you at some point, so you think it’s easier to push them away. They can’t hurt you if you walk away. There’s a problem with that, though. I’m going to walk with you. No matter how hard you push, I’m going to be there, reminding you how important you are. And one day, maybe sooner than you think, you’re going to believe it.”
“I want to. You don’t know how badly I want to believe you’re not going to walk away, but if my legs keep getting worse? What if I’m stuck in the chair for the rest of my life?”
“We’ll deal with that if and when it happens.” I leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Let me ask you something. When I’m older and grayer and you’re still a young man, will you walk away from me?”
“What? That’s a stupid question.”
“You’re right. It is. Now, don’t you think you should trust me the way I trust you?”
“Wow. You’re good at this, aren’t you?”
I leaned in and whispered in his ear, “When something is worth it, you want to be sure you do everything you can to hold on.”
Stained Hearts Page 13