by Rita Hestand
Anna stared, "Are you serious?"
"Yes, the only other places to stay were boarding houses. Unfortunately, Mr. Menger died a couple of years ago. Now his wife and son run it, both the hotel and the brewery."
"How do you know so much about the Mengers? Do you know them personally?"
"I introduced myself to them the first time I came here, and each time Mary would see to it that I had the finest table available and my favorite meal."
Anna stared now, and he looked at her perplexed face. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"I don't know." She searched his face for answers. "I guess I realize just how much I don't know about you. I've known you a long time, but I never knew you knew so much about things. I guess I just thought you an ordinary cow rancher." She said flippantly. "You sound like you've been a lot of places, seen a lot of things. It's hard to imagine anyone in Wayward being such a traveler."
"It's funny, isn't it?"
"What?"
"You thought I was just some stupid ole cowboy. We might have been best friends, but I don't think you ever bothered getting to know me. At least not after we grew up. Although, I have to admit, as a kid you were as loyal as anyone I ever knew." He said in a soft whisper. "Remember when you socked J.W. in the face when he called me your wet nurse."
She chuckled. "I remember. He had a terrible nosebleed for two days. I didn't mean to hurt him, but he made me mad."
She sat on the edge of the beautiful quilted bedspread, bowed her head and frowned. He had left her entirely alone after she turned fourteen, it wasn't her fault that she didn't know more about him. She thought she gave him what he wanted, to be left alone.
"We've shared things through the years." She insisted. "And you've always been there for me, and I don't think I ever thanked you for it. Thank you, I mean it. But when you left, and never came back, I finally figured you were pretty tired of me." She hung her head.
"When we were kids. I taught you to bait a hook, shoot a gun, and follow my tracks. You taught me manners, helped me learn to read, so I guess back then we were pretty even."
She sat very still.
"I guess through the years, growing up, we didn't keep track of each other as much. But I always loved you, Joe."
"You keep saying that, but I wonder if you know what love is."
He stared, and a slow smile edged over his handsome face. She looked into his warm brown eyes and saw the twinkle there.
"You realize you've always known how to manipulate me, with just a smile or kind word." He asked her. "And this takes the cake, us getting married."
"I guess it does, are you sorry already?"
He came up to her and kissed her on the cheek, like he always did, "Ask me in a couple of months."
She giggled; glad he was in a better mood. "I'm starved, can we go eat somewhere?"
She was glad she could still laugh.
"Sure," but as she went to the door, he seemed to study her for a moment. "Maybe we should change clothes."
"Oh, I forgot." She looked down at her wedding dress.
There was an adjoining room and she took her small valise and changed into a dress she had brought; it was low cut and meant to make Bill squirm with anticipation. Strange, but she wasn't sure what she anticipated. She'd seen animals' mate, but to be honest with herself, she never saw passed the wedding with any man. Until now. She sighed. She doubted Joe would even notice. He had been a great friend, a loyal one, but he always kept a certain distance from her.
She had to think about that, she'd never gotten past the wedding, much less the wedding night. She'd never seduced a man in her life. Did she think wearing a pretty dress would do it? But comparing the situation between her and Bill and her and Joe couldn't work. Joe always backed away from her, even though she'd caught him looking at her a few times, nothing ever happened. He kissed her on the cheek and smiled at her a lot, but the kiss at the wedding was the most amorous thing he'd ever done with her. Her lips slightly trembled then, but his kiss was beautiful.
She changed and looked into the mirror. For some reason she didn't regret Bill walking out on her, she felt a relief. But she felt guilt too. She married her best friend instead and that wasn't fair to him. Somehow, she'd make it up to him, she just had to figure out how.
She owed Joe so much, and as an adult she was just beginning to see how much.
He had changed into a pair of black pants, white shirt and black leather vest. He wore his big cowboy hat and as she stared at him, she realized something new. Joe had become a very interesting man. She'd always thought he was the best-looking boy in town. Now, as a man, he could easily take her breath away. Looking at him now, she realized that she was just now seeing him as the man he had grown into! My God, why hadn't she seen him like this before! But deep down inside, she knew. His leaving had hurt so badly, she had to learn how to get along without him. And that wasn't an easy task! She tried to erase him from memory. She tried to become disinterested. But here and now, she knew it hadn't worked.
Joe had always set the rules between them, it was simple, best friends didn't look at each other like that, did they? She'd been trained by him, long ago not to act like a love-starved kid, but a good and faithful friend.
Chapter Four
Taken to the hotel restaurant Joe ordered quail, a vegetable medley and fresh peach cobbler for dessert with homemade ice cream. They drank a fine wine and Anna Lee felt like a princess. This was a life she'd never experienced before. Up until now, Wayward was the only thing she really knew much about.
But Joe still seemed in a strange mood. She wished she knew how to relieve the tension between them.
They talked about everything, except the fact that they had gotten married. They talked about the good times they'd shared, the friends they both knew so well.
But she felt a tad uneasy about the fact that she faced a room with one bed in it, tonight. How would she convince him that he had to sleep on the cold floor? For she knew she couldn’t sleep with him, that would be carrying this thing way too far. She'd never gotten so far as to contemplate the wedding night.
Now that she had married him, what was she to do?
It wasn't a real marriage; it wasn't like he loved her that much. And she couldn't forget that.
Hells bells what would she have done with Bill? She might have run, herself.
It hadn't dawned on her that Joe might expect something of her. Would he? Did she know him well enough to expect him to be a gentlemen, even though they were married?
She tried to forget about tonight. She wanted to enjoy the sights and sounds around her. She'd never been to a place so exciting before. How could she let a little thing like getting married interfere with all this fun?
Mary Menger herself stopped by their table and wished them a happy life together. Anna Lee felt tongue-tied she was so impressed.
Afterwards, they had a late carriage ride through the streets of San Antonio, which followed the river running through the town. If he had loved her, it would have been the most romantic thing she'd ever done. But then, he didn't, and it wasn't. The love they shared was not the forever kind of love. The kind of love they shared was different. He didn't love her like a woman, he was still just rescuing her from difficult situations. Although years ago, she'd given up on Joe, now she realized what a predicament she'd put him in.
"Oh Joe, I cannot believe all of this. I never realized how stifled I'd been in Wayward." She told him. "And here, seeing the Alamo, for the first time in my life. It has an eerie feeling, as though their ghosts were here, doesn't it? You can almost feel them here, with us."
"Yes, it's part of the intrigue of this beautiful city. It's hard to believe that just thirty-seven year ago, all those men died for the state of Texas."
Joe put his arm around her as a light breeze filtered over her face. "I wouldn't know so much about this town if I hadn't been here so often to the auctions."
"I can't imagine you wanting to come back to Wayward after be
ing here." She chuckled.
"Wayward is home, Anna. Like you I've lived there all my life. This is a place to get off to, to relax and enjoy what it offers."
"Thank you for bringing me here, on your vacation." She told him. "I love it."
"Anna, we married on the spur of the moment kind of thing. But we are married, I want us to live as man and wife." He blurted.
"You mean, permanently?" she gasped.
"Well, yes. You're the one who mentioned a divorce, not I!"
She sat very still. She felt a bit ill at ease now. What could she say, she had rushed him into this? "I don't want you to feel obligated to me, Joe. All I expected from you was the wedding, nothing more."
"But I am your husband, Anna. You're my wife, and I take it seriously. Unless, you want to divorce quickly, then say so now." Joe told her. "I suppose we can get it annulled, but if we do, we go back home and live our own lives again. It's something you need to decide on very soon. And if you want the divorce, it isn't going to keep you from being gossiped about, and you know it."
"I hadn't thought about it. I wasn't worried about the gossips, although Lord knows there will be plenty of that, too. This is the nicest day in my life, I wanted to enjoy it."
"Don't you think we should talk about it." He asked, pushing a curl away from her cheek. "Anna going through with the wedding is one thing, but when we go back, people will expect us to be and act like we are married. It's where we live. We have to talk about it. You'll move to my ranch, where we'll live."
"But surely, we won't have to pretend, will we?"
"Well, I have friends too, you know. What will they think if my wife acts like she doesn't know me?"
She reached for a curl and twisted it around her finger and stared out at the stars. "Do we have to talk about this now. I was so enjoying this."
Frustrated, he clammed up and sighed, "I guess not."
But he became very quiet and a tension surrounded them now.
Joe was right again; she hadn't thought this through. It was awkward, not knowing how he really felt? How did she feel? They couldn't act out a marriage for the rest of their lives, could they?
She hadn't solved her problem; she'd just made more.
She leaned back against his arm and he studied her a moment. Then suddenly he leaned over and kissed her on the lips once more, this time thoroughly. His lips felt like soft velvet; his day-old beard made her aware of him even more as it gently scraped her cheeks, making her aware of the kiss. She couldn't stop her response either. Her lips moved with his, inviting him to explore her sweet mouth. Her heartbeat quickened and she lost breath she was so enamored from the possessive kiss he offered.
The slightest of a sweet woodsy cologne on him, made her reach to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him closer. She felt his arm hold her, as the kiss deepened. How could he kiss her like this and not love her?
Simple, he had to be acting. But why?
When he turned her lose, she sighed, and slowly opened her eyes. No one had ever kissed her like that. She looked into his eyes and melted. She swallowed.
"I always wondered what it would be like to kiss you." He told her.
"Then why didn't you?" she murmured.
"Best friends don't go around kissing each other like that." He informed her quickly.
"I remember, it was like rules you set for our friendship. I didn't mind back then; you were older and knew so much more than I. I was just glad you were my friend. So, your no longer my best friend?" she asked with surprise.
"Nope, I believe that changed today. Today, I'm your husband." He smiled at her.
"Joe, we're moving too fast. I have to have some time to figure out where all of this is going. Don't you see?" she gasped.
"I think we've been moving too slow all this time. Maybe if I'd have kissed you sooner, you wouldn't have been jilted three times." He suggested.
"But Joe, you don't love me like that!" she proclaimed sitting up now and adjusting her dress.
"Oh, I don't know. I think that kiss changed a lot of things between us. And the way you responded tells me you might feel the same." He winked.
"Joe," she turned his cheek toward her, "Be serious. This isn't for real!"
Something in his expression changed now as he stared down into her startled face. "Honey, that's where you are wrong. You can stage all the dramatics you want in Wayward, but the fact is, we're married. Legally! And from now on, you are going to either stay married." He told her in no uncertain terms. "Or we'll get the divorce before we go home. Understand?"
Shocked she sat back and glared at him. What did he mean? Was he taking their marriage vows seriously? Surely not! He wasn't in love with her!
But the way he kissed her just now, made her wonder.
"Why do I have such little time to decide?" she asked.
"Because we are married, and once I take you, there is no going back to being a Murray. Now do you understand?"
"But it was just supposed to be temporary." She cried.
"That was your idea, not mine. You suggested to marry. I took you up on it. Now it's on my terms."
"Your terms?" she asked.
"That's right. Sometimes decisions are made on the spur of the moment. But marrying you is no joke, Anna Lee. You're either my wife or you're not. And you've got to the end of our vacation to make up your mind. Once and for all, you are going to face your own problems and come up with your own solutions. If we go back divorced, then you'll go back to your merry little life, but I won't be bailing you out ever again. If we go back married, we'll live our life together as a couple. And we'll make the best of it, however it turns out. That's what people do when they marry."
"You're angry." She cried.
"A little yeah!" he nodded and stopped the buggy.
"When you say you love me, you say it, I don't know, too easily, as though it means nothing. When and if I say I love you, I'll mean it, Anna Lee. If you can grow up, and face your own responsibilities, I might say it to you. But not until. And you've got two weeks to decide if you want to be the spoiled little girl from Wayward, Texas, or the sweet woman I know you can be. If in two weeks you decide you want to end this farce, then we will get a divorce. If you want to try to make a go of it, we'll go home together and we will be man and wife, like it should be. Those were sacred vows we took Anna. They meant something. It was nothing more than an escape for you. You've got to learn once and for all that actions have consequences."
"My God, you hate me, don't you?" she cried.
"No, I don't hate you. But I should. We're in this together, and yet I'm the only one that feels married. I don't like being alone in this. And I won't live that way the rest of my life to keep from humiliating you."
Her face flushed from his words. "I understand." She whispered.
"Good. When you've made your decision, you can let me know."
"Are you going to be mad for the next two weeks at me?" she asked.
He stared and something warmed in his expression. "No, this is a vacation. And I want to enjoy it."
She stared and a slow smile spread over her face.
It still left the question of how they would sleep, and she was uneasy for the rest of the evening although she did her best to hide it.
Would he insist on his matrimonial right, or would he wait until she decided what to do?
If she were truthful with herself, she had only herself to blame for this. It just now dawned on her what she'd done to his life.
Perhaps he loved another. There were obviously a lot of things she didn't know about her best friend. And it looked as though she was going to find out, one way or another and very soon.
Chapter Five
As they returned to the hotel, she felt her belly full of butterflies. She dare not ask him, but how could she handle this? She had never once considered her wedding night with any of the men she agreed to marry. When the first young man jilted her, she had doubts of ever getting to this point.
&nbs
p; Her mother told her a little about the wedding night. To surrender to her husband and love him with all her might. It sounded simple, but there was a problem, she realized now, she hadn't loved any of those men!
What a fool she'd been.
How could that be so clear to her now! Now, when it was too late!
So how did she feel about Joe? On one hand she loved him, and she meant it too, but was it the forever kind of love or was it the love of a good friend? She'd never really carried her feelings any further than a friend with him, although many times in the past she had wanted to. When he left, she finally realized he wasn't interested in her in that way. That summer was the most miserable summer of her life. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that even as a kid, she'd been attracted to him. But the age difference had Joe taking the lead in their friendship and he never took it beyond friends. Until now. But even after all the things he said to her today and tonight, she knew she still had feelings for Joe. Feelings she'd never had for anyone else.
She stared at him now. Joe was gorgeous in every way, from his warm brown eyes, framed with dark lashes that saw into her soul with a glance, to his long, strong arms that wrapped around her to console her so many times. He was perfect. Perhaps that was why she never took his compliments too seriously. All of her friends had envied their relationship, because Joe, as appealing as he was, had never flirted with her or her friends.
Why hadn't he?
All the years she'd known him, he'd never been the kind of man to flirt.
To her he was a loyal and trustworthy friend. But she hadn't caught him. And he certainly wasn't thrilled about the sham of their marriage either.
He also wasn't the kind to force himself upon her. She knew that. Still, making love was a commitment. Like he said, it was serious. He said he might say he loved her if she changed, but why couldn’t he love her the way she was. Scatterbrained!
Suddenly they were standing in front of their room.
He turned the key and let her go inside ahead of him.