Tala Phoenix and the School of Secrets

by Gabby Fawkes

  But my gaze was glued on that poor suffering dog. She’d lost the one thing she loved most in the world, and now she was…

  As if sensing my thoughts, suddenly, the beast let out a growl and leapt to its feet. All three of its heads snapped their jaws viciously.

  A monster.

  “Goodbye, Tala,” Hades said. “We will meet again soon.”

  “Hope not,” I muttered under my breath, although I doubted it.

  I probably couldn’t stay with my friends for long, for their sakes. I just needed this… seeing Jeremy alive, okay – to get me through.

  I didn’t encounter anyone on the walk back to the fields. It was weird, retracing my steps in such a different state of mind. Sure, I’d been upset before, but I’d had no idea. What I was. What I was doomed for.

  I thought back to that old Tala, only a week ago, with a stab of painful nostalgia. God, she’d had no clue. That she didn’t stand a chance.

  My hands fisted.

  Let us rip up every tree and plant around us, scream our fiery frustration to the sky, PV urged me eagerly.

  -No, I can’t lose it. Not yet. Not until I saw Her.

  Although having no release had probably been the worst thing about that subterranean chamber. I could breathe fire at the ground all day, yet it wouldn’t budge.

  The first person I saw as I neared our timples was Demi. She broke into a run, flung into me with a hug. “Tala, you’re okay! Hades said…”

  “He was right,” I said, my voice sounding off. “I went with him to the Underground to train. By myself.”

  “And?”

  My teeth ground together. I didn’t want to tell her now. That wasn’t why I was here.

  “Where’s Jeremy?” I said. “He is awake, right?”

  Demi’s smile didn’t look as happy as it should’ve.

  “Yes,” she said cautiously. “He is. Only…”

  “What is it?” I asked in a hoarse voice.

  If he’d suffered any fire damage at my hands, I’d never forgive myself.

  “You’d better see for yourself,” she said quietly. “He’s in the Temple of Apollo.”

  As we walked there, Demi tried talking to me some more. “Kian’s there now. Jer only woke up for a minute or so a few days ago. Hasn’t woken up since, although Apollo says he should soon. We’ve been watching him in shifts.”

  “And you guys…” I said quietly.

  I never had found out what happened to them in the melee.

  “We’re fine,” she said. “Your fire heated up the tentacles and they released us. We were able to run out of there, just in time. Jeremy too. And then…”

  She trailed off, looking at me like I was a bomb the wrong word could set off.

  “What happened?” I said quietly.

  I needed to know. Needed to fill in the holes in my memory. However painful the truth of the past was, I needed to know.

  “You flew above the palace, and your head reared back like you were going to burn it to the ground. We were all yelling for you to stop. Then Jer ran out, let out a roar, and, at the last second, you actually did stop. You froze and plummeted to the ground. And when we got to you, you were back in your human form.”

  I nodded. That made sense. Kinda. I didn’t have any memory of a roar – only someone saying “Tala,” unless… had I somehow heard what bear Jeremy was trying to say in my shifter form?

  “Tala,” Demi said gently, her hand on my shoulder. “You have to know – none of us blame you. Or are afraid of you.”

  “You should be,” I said, not looking at her. “If I hadn’t stopped…”

  “But you did stop,” Demi insisted. “You did stop, and everything was okay.”

  “It’s not that simple!” I practically yelled. “You don’t get it. You weren’t there in my head. I wasn’t myself, Demi. I had no control over it. I was just some monster who wanted to burn and kill. I could’ve hurt you guys-”

  “But you didn’t,” Demi insisted again. “You remembered enough to not hurt us.”

  “That could’ve been just an oversight,” I muttered, eyeing the shining white columns of the building we’d approached. In our heated talk, I’d hardly noticed.

  “This it?” I said.

  “Yeah,” Demi said. “But-”

  “Good,” I said, hurrying ahead.

  I was done with talking about what had happened, what I was. As much as she’d like to think she knew, Demi didn’t, not really. She wasn’t in my head when I shifted. She had no idea what I was capable of.

  As soon as I ventured inside, a voice assailed me, “Look who decided to show up.”

  I didn’t respond to Kian. I had eyes only for the boy on the bed ahead of us. The one whose whole wan face and bare-chested body were ravaged.

  A horrified groan rolled out of my throat. “No.”

  Purpley-blue bruises the size of baseballs riddled him. Even his unbruised skin was a mottled red. A patch of hair on his head was gone. His lip was cracked and bloodied, drooped open enough to show several chipped teeth. But his chest was moving with breath. He was alive.

  “It’ll take some time, but he’ll be all right.” Apollo’s voice came right behind me.

  I turned to him. “You mean, he won’t become... that mutant bear?”

  His face darkened. “I’m afraid that change is permanent. When he shifts, he’ll become… another creature entirely. At least for the foreseeable future. Someone tampered with his shifting, did something… horrendous, irreversible.”

  I stopped by Jeremy’s bedside, gingerly put my hand on his shoulder. “But he’s going to live. He’s going to be all right.”

  “Yes,” Apollo said. “I managed to take away his pain and shift him back to his human form. I believe it was that pain that distressed him so much to become violent and act out like that. Even his eyes and ears had been tampered with, almost as though…”

  “As though what?” I said.

  “As though someone wanted Jeremy unaware of what he was doing, what destruction he was causing,” Apollo said quietly.

  My nails dug into my palm. Someone… when I found out who had done this to him, who that someone was…

  “Tal,” Demi said gently, touching my arm. “He’s okay now.”

  I let out a long, measured exhale. Demi was right. The important thing now was that Jer was okay. Not completely well, not yet. But he was back and he was alive.

  I turned away. I’d seen what I’d came to see. Jeremy was fine, and it was time for me to go.

  “Oh, no you don’t,” Kian hissed, stepping out to block my way.

  I didn’t meet her eye. “I have to.”

  Kian’s don’t-mess-with-me face cracked. “That’s it? After everything that’s happened, you’re just going to stop by and then go back to that…”

  My mouth opened, then closed. If I started trying to explain it all, then I wouldn’t have the strength to leave.

  “I’ve gotta go,” I said, shouldering past her. “Trust me – this is for the best.”

  A brawny figure blocked the doorway. Axel glared down at me. “Yeah, not happening.”

  31

  “Guys,” I said. My birthmarks were already burning. I just had to…Stay. Calm. “Let me go. I’m serious, you don’t know-”

  “What – that you’re having trouble controlling yourself when shifting?” Axel said. “Or did Hades forget to mention that it’s supposed to be hard? That it’s normal for it to be hard?”

  “Stop it,” I snapped. “I know – okay? That there are some wild dragon shifters that can’t control their impulses, that have to live alone.”

  Kian’s firm expression fell away, while Demi, who had been approaching too, stopped.

  “There are,” Axel admitted. “But you aren’t one of them.”

  “You don’t know that,” I said.

  That I was right I could see with how his mouth twisted.

  “You haven’t even tried with someone helping you,” he said.
<
br />   “Hades offered,” I snapped. “Maybe I should be taking him up on that offer.”

  “Tala, please,” Demi said, touching my arm lightly. “Just stay. Just one night to think it through.”

  “I know you’re trying to protect us,” Kian said. “But we don’t need protecting.”

  “Not now,” I said, ripping my gaze off hers. I’d never seen her look so imploring before. “Not yet. But if I shift….” I shook my head sadly.

  Axel grabbed my hand and held on tight. “Then we’ll be here for you.”

  “Let me go,” I said quietly. I pulled my hand, but his grip didn’t budge. “Axel. I’m warning you.”

  “I’m not afraid of you,” he said fiercely. “And I’m not letting you go back there. Not today. Not until you give me a chance.”

  Heat was spurting through me, had overtaken my arms, my shoulders, my legs. If my friends kept this up, kept upsetting me, could I stop myself from getting overwhelmed and shifting?

  “Fine,” I said quietly. “I’ll stay. But I’m not shifting tonight. I’m going to sleep – it’s getting late anyway.”

  The sun had already set, while the moon was starting to appear through the clouds.

  “Fine,” Axel said. “I’ll walk you.”

  “We’ll come too,” Kian added firmly. Uncompromisingly.

  Great. I offered no protest. There was simply no other option. I couldn’t afford to lose my temper with my friends. Right now, I didn’t have a plan, but as soon as I was alone, I could come up with one.

  They might not have understood, but I did. I was too dangerous to be around them – now, and probably for good. Maybe hearing what Axel had to say would help, but no way was I shifting within a hundred miles of him or my friends.

  I don’t know how long I slept. Only that when I woke up and walked outside, it was still dark out. I was no more than a few steps out of my timple when a hand grabbed my upper arm. “Nice try.”

  “Axel, don’t.”

  Damn him and his handsome-even-in-the-dark face!

  Of course, she never listens to those wiser than herself, never shares the bed of those she should… my PV chimed in.

  -You shut up too!

  “Tala.” Axel’s forehead pressed against mine, his slate blue eyes burning into mine. “I’m not letting you go back there. I’m not leaving you. I know what you’re going through, and I know how it feels. To lose control. To feel like you have no choice but to lash out.” He gripped my hand tight. “I overcame it, and so can you.”

  “No,” I croaked. “Don’t – I…”

  It was coming now. I could feel it coming. This was too much emotion, too much heat – I had to…

  “Tala, listen to me.” Axel’s eyes were burning into mine, his grip unyielding. “You can do this. You’ve always been able to do this.”

  “I don’t know how!” I yelled. “Axel, I mean it. Let me go.” A horrified sob clattered in my chest. If he didn’t let me go in the next few seconds… “Please, or I’ll-”

  “Remember who you are!” he yelled. “Try again – for your friends. For us.”

  No – but there was no choice. The energy ripped through me and out of me. His grip finally released as heat swallowed everything.

  “TRY, TALA!” his roar cut through.

  As my consciousness ebbed away, I knew. Right here, right now, this night - this was my last chance. The one there was no point in trying for. I’d failed every other time before – and now, with the stakes higher than ever before? I was bound to.

  Still, Axel was right. I had to try. Even if I’d failed a hundred times before, even if right now I was bound to fail the worst yet, I had to try again to control this. For my friends. For myself.

  Yet, borne aloft so high in the sky….

  I scanned the ground eagerly.

  The enemies were around here somewhere… The ones who’d lied to us… Burn them all.

  They’d choked our powers, tried to kill us, tortured our friend… Burn them. Burn them all.

  Below me, a little ant of a man stood proud. The one who’d said – what was it – “Remember who you are.”

  I hovered over him, so he could see that I knew. I was fire and I was cleansing, and, before I was through, this whole land would be purified. My enemies would have nowhere to hide.

  But the man looked at us with such defiance, such….

  Dum spiro spero.

  I laughed a small puff of flame, but he wouldn’t move. Dum spiro… what was that again?

  While I breathe, I hope.

  A coolness washed over me as I fluttered to the ground. Yes. Dum spiro spero. While I breathe, I hope. That was what I was – who I am – Tala Phoenix, who never stops trying. Who never gives up.

  I turned to Axel with a smile. “Dum spiro spero.”

  And then I collapsed to the ground.

  I awoke in his arms. We were sitting under a tree. I’d been sleeping, had a dream – no, a nightmare.

  “How does it feel?” Axel murmured.

  “Huh?”

  “You did it.” He was grinning wide. “You shifted, Tala. And you shifted back too.”

  I stared at him as it all returned to me. Sitting up gave me a massive head rush, sending me sagging back into his pecs. “Yeah, and passed out too.”

  Axel snorted. “You really going to complain now?”

  I grinned up at him. “No. Only… how’d you know?”

  “How’d I know what?”

  “The advice I needed – to remember who I was.”

  “Was that what brought you back?”

  “What did you think it was?”

  Axel picked an imaginary speck of lint off his shirt. “Oh, nothing.”

  “You totally thought it was just you and your special wonderful presence.”

  Axel shrugged. “You did manage it, didn’t you?”

  Sitting up, I flung my arms around him. “Yeah. And I have you to thank. Partially.”

  He closed his arms around me, and I sunk into the warmness. I seemed to fit so perfectly in them, sink so beautifully into them, almost like I could just lose myself here….

  “Aren’t you wondering what brought me back?” I said, pulling away.

  If I let myself get carried away…

  “You just said.” Axel cracked a grin. “Me.”

  “No, you goon” I said, though I was grinning too, “It was a Latin saying, a favorite of my friends and mine, though we’d usually say it jokingly. “Dum spiro spero.”

  “While I breathe, I hope,” Axel nodded. “Whatever works.”

  I studied the somber gray of his eyes. “What’s yours?”

  “What?”

  “What do you do to get yourself back, when you’ve… gone too far? How do you remember who you are? Or is it different when you’re a god?”

  Axel shook his head. “When you get into the bloodlust like an alcoholic after his first drink, and want to rip every living creature in the vicinity to shreds, then no, it’s not that different.” He eyed me. “My mantra, you mean?”

  “Sure.”

  “Don’t laugh.” Axel’s expression was serious now. “I am strong. I am brave. I am powerful. I am capable.”

  I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. To his credit, Axel held the somber expression for a few seconds. Then, he cracked up. “Damn, what gave it away?”

  I elbowed him. “You jerk. I just freaking shifted and passed out, and already you’re messing with me?”

  He caught my elbow mid-jab the second time. “You’re cute when you’re pissed.”

  “You did not just say that right now,” I said.

  “I…” He ripped his gaze off my lips. Nodded. “Okay, in all seriousness, how I get myself back is a breath and word combo: breathing in – I can, breathing out – I must.”

  “And that’s remembering who you are?”

  “Well, I can, and I must, so yeah.”

  He smiled at me. I smiled back. Seemed like we were both doing a lot of that l
ately.

  This time, our gazes caught. Time slowed. With his eyes daring to look at me how they’d never before, Axel stroked one fingertip down my cheek, ending it at my chin. He did the same with his other finger on my other cheek.

  By now, his gaze rested on my lips, mine on his.

  It only made sense that he kissed me next.

  This second press of our lips was even better than the first. It was like coming home.

  The way our mouths moved together, our bodies eased into each other. It was just right.

  Pure instinct took over, had me running my hands over his jawline, through his hair.

  Yes. Axel knew me. Had been there for me.

  His hands brought me onto his lap, and he nuzzled into my ear, “I’m so proud of you. I knew you could do it.”

  I strained around so I could see his face. “Really?”

  He nodded without a hint of uncertainty.

  “But what if I was one of the wild dragons?” I asked.

  “You are one of the wild dragons,” he said, not missing a beat.

  “Axel!”

  His merry eyes grew steely. “I wasn’t going to let that happen.”

  “But still,” I said, and he put a finger to my lips.

  “You, Tala Phoenix, are unlike any girl I’ve ever known.” His lips moved on to my ear. “So stop asking stupid questions.”

  I lifted my hand to give him a playful slap. He caught it midair.

  “Careful now,” I teased, struggling uselessly. “I could just shift and…”

  In one swift motion, Axel flipped me, so that I was on my back and he had me pinned to the ground. “You know I’d just like that too much.”

  “Ugh, you would,” I said, although when his lips claimed mine again, that was all I could think about.

  We kissed like our lips already knew what the other’s was going to do. And the feel of his body and the heat in mine, in another place…

  Mmmmmmm…. my PV was going in my head, to my horror.

  Thank John that Axel couldn’t read my thoughts. That I knew of, at least.

  His hands ran over me, top to bottom, like my body was something in Braille that they were memorizing. Slowly, worshipfully. But at my lower abdomen – really?? – they stopped.