I stare at her, wondering how I will be able to let her go when all of this is over. I am already dreading the thought of never seeing her again.
She leans closer to me and plants her hands on my chest. All the air leaves my lungs. Slowly she inches closer, lowering herself hesitantly as if she is waiting for me to push her away or tell her to stop. I should probably do that, but there is no way in hell I am going to.
She doesn’t break eye contact until her head is laying on my chest. Her cheek is pressed against the place right above my heart and her handcuffed hand is sprawled out over my ribs. I put my hand next to hers so the handcuffs hang loose. When my thumb brushes against her pinky, I realize how cold her fingertips are. I cover her small hand with mine and find her other hand to do the same. Only then I allow myself to suck in a breath that's making my chest rise.
Neither one of us says anything. I try not to think about the possibility of her doing this for any other reasons besides that she simply likes me. This could easily be some kind of trick to get me to do what she wants. No, I can’t imagine Josie doing something deceiving like that. It would be much more plausible that she feels sorry for me. Yes, that must be it. She feels sorry for me, nothing more.
Her reasoning, whatever they might be are not hindering me from enjoying this. Her warm small body curled up on top of mine just feels too nice. More than that, it feels right.
For the first time in many months, I fall into a nightmare-free sleep.
9
Josephine
When I wake up, I am in the same position than I was when I fell asleep. Nestled up against Colt’s chest. His chest rising and falling steadily under me. My guilt for feeling good about this is overruled by how content I’m feeling. My mind knows that this is wrong in any way, but the rest of me doesn’t care.
I have been awake for some time, just lying here doing nothing besides listening to Colt’s drum-like heartbeat and soft breathing. The occasional birds chirping is the only other noise that reaches my ears. It’s quiet out here in this no-mans-land he brought me to and I like it. I enjoy the tranquility this place provides even though his house is anything but luxurious, for anyone's standards.
Colt’s breathing changes and I know he is waking up. His free hand comes up to my elbow, cradling my arm. His thumb rubs gently over my skin, drawing small circles that send little shivers down my spine. His other hand has been holding mine all night. The handcuffs connecting us seem different now. The longer I stare at the cold, harsh metal around our wrists, the more the meaning of them change.
They were meant to capture and control. Somewhere along the way, they have turned into a gadget that keeps us together. Now, I just see two bracelets connecting us with a small chain. A connection I don’t want to break because I know that once it’s broken I will lose it forever.
We lie here for a while longer, doing absolutely nothing, but oddly I am not the least bit bored. I would, however, like to know what Colt is thinking. I lift my head, just enough so that I can look at his face. He tilts his head down and our eyes meet. His gray eyes remind me of the sky right before it rains. For a moment I think about kissing him and my eyes drop to his lips. As if he was reading my mind he murmurs sadly, “it can never happen.”
“I know.” I let my head fall down again, resting on his chest. I close my eyes and enjoy this moment until it’s over.
We get up and Colt unlocks the handcuffs. Instead of feeling free, I feel lost and alone. After he lets me use the bathroom, he walks me into the kitchen. I sit down at the table, expecting him to cuff me to it. Instead, he puts the cuff on the counter. “I’ll be right back,” he says and disappears into the bathroom.
When he comes back out a few minutes later, I still sit in the same spot he left me in. Giving me approving nod, he starts to search through the kitchen for something to eat. He comes back with two open cans of corn and two spoons. “You know corn is a gourmet breakfast in some parts of the world,” he says in all seriousness.
“I don’t think that’s correct, but I’ll eat it anyway.” I say as I take the can and the spoon. “Thank you.”
He shakes his head. “The politeness never ends with you, does it?”
“It’s one of my best attributes,” I huff.
“Or one of your worst,” he snickers.
“If you don’t like me being nice to you, I can start being mean.”
He barks out a loud laugh. “You couldn’t, even if you’d tried.”
The sound of his phone going off in the other room breaks his lighthearted mood and brings us back to reality. His smile is suddenly replaced with a frown as he gets up to answer his phone. I only catch a few words of what he is saying. “Hello… yes… calm down… fine… we’ll be there.”
He doesn’t come back to the kitchen right away. Instead, he walks around the house like he is looking for something. His whole mood has shifted into something dark and distant. He seems upset about the call and my curiosity about it is burning. I want to ask him, but with him acting so grim I just sit where he left me, unsure of what to do. The one time he passes, he doesn’t even look at me. Whatever it was that we had between us this morning, seems like a million miles away now.
He reappears form one of the bedrooms with a dark green bag and walks out the front door without saying anything. I wait a few minutes for him to come back before I get the courage to get up and look out of the window. I find him behind the trailer, facing away from me. I try to figure out what he is doing when the sun catches something he has in his hand. I realize it’s a large silver knife and I back away from the window.
I run out the front door and around the house. “What are you doing?” I yell as soon as he is in earshot.
He briefly looks back at me over his shoulder. “Go inside Josie.”
“Tell me what you are doing first.” I step closer and see the open bag next to him on the ground. Stacks of hundred dollar bills is the first thing that catches my eye. The second thing I see is two white, plastic-wrapped bricks. He picks one up and stabs it with the knife, dragging it from one side to the other. A white powder starts flying out, a gust of wind transporting it away from us and into the open field next to the trailer. When that one is nothing but an empty plastic wrapper, he picks up the second brick and repeats his action.
I step closer and I can see him tense up. “We are going to meet Jenna later. You can go back home tonight.”
I am thrilled by the possibility of seeing Jenna today. Thinking about home is a whole different story. Colt seems upset about this whole thing coming to an end. Shouldn’t he be glad? “Aren’t you happy that you are getting what you want?”
“What makes you think that you know what I want?” He sighs, “I don’t even know what I want anymore. I wanted to get out of jail. That has been the only thought on my mind for so long, I haven’t considered much beyond that.”
“Now, I…” He turns to face me and whatever he sees in my eyes makes him pause for a minute. “Now, I want something I can’t have.” His hand switches, like he was about to reach for me but stopped himself.
“I wish things were different.” For as long I remember I always wished for me and Jenna to be together. Every birthday candle I’ve blown out. Every coin I’ve tossed in a wishing well. I have always wished for this one thing. Until now.
I wish things were different for both of us.
This is so unfair. I never felt like I fit in with the other kids at school. Always the odd one out, I was never able to form a meaningful relationship with anybody, let alone a guy. With Colt, I somehow felt this weird connection from the first moment we met. I feel like he understands me.
Why does it have to be him?
With all the history there is between us, more specifically between him and my sister. There is just no way we could ever be together.
The rest of the day goes painfully uncomfortable. I feel like Colt is wearing some kind of stone mask to hide what he is really feeling. Or at least that’s what I am trying to
tell myself. He doesn’t really talk to me or even look at me. He throws my clean clothes onto my lap before we leave the house to get something to eat.
“The blood didn’t wash out. Do you mind if I still wear your jacket over it?” I ask him in the car. He doesn’t answer or acknowledge me in any way, but when we are stopped at the restaurant he hands me his jacket from the back seat.
Walking into the restaurant. Colt takes my hand again and holds it until we take a seat in a corner booth. He might be trying to suppress this odd connection we have between us, but he can’t hide how my skin tickles when he is holding my hand.
We eat in complete silence. Even with sitting across from me, Colt somehow manages to avoid eye contact throughout the meal.
When we are finished I tell him that I need to use the bathroom and he walks me to the ladies room. No one is in the bathroom when I walk in and do my business. But while I wash my hands the door swings open and two giggling teenage girls walk in. While washing my hands I briefly think about talking to them. I could tell them to call the cops. The thought of Colt being taken away from me is making me cringe and I abandon the thought.
After I dry my shaking hands and reach for the door handle. “Your boyfriend is so sweet, waiting outside the door for you. What a gentleman,” one of the girls coos.
“Yeah, that's my boyfriend alright, such a gentleman,” I say as I open the door.
Colt looks nervous on the other side even after he must have heard what I just told them.
“I didn’t say anything to them,” I reassure him when he walks me to the car hastily.
“I just want to get this over with already,” he says coldly. His tone makes my stomach twist and the thought of him wanting to get rid of me hurts.
“You can’t wait to get rid of me?” I know it’s childish and stupid to be so heartbroken by his comment, but years of my parents treating me like I’m not important has left me vulnerable and overly sensitive to rejections.
“I should have never kidnapped you, to begin with.”
Even my kidnapper wants to get rid of me. I look out the window, blinking my eyes rapidly to hold back the tears. When they still spill over, I am mad at myself. I can’t even do this simple act of not crying. I concentrate on that anger instead of feeling sorry for myself.
Colt parks the car behind an old abandon building. There is one other car parked in the otherwise abandoned lot and I wonder if it’s Jenna. We get out of the car and I am unreasonably upset that Colt is not holding my hand when we are walking in. I stuff my hands in the jacket pockets so he doesn’t see them balling into fists. Maybe I should run so he has to hold me. God, I’m so pitiful.
The sound of our footsteps bouncing off the walls in this dark hallway is nothing but eerie. I just have a really bad feeling about this place that I can’t shake. I feel like every step we take leads us further into darkness. Halfway down the hallway, I can’t take it anymore. I’m so freaked out that I reach for Colts hand. He stops walking suddenly and looks over to me puzzled. “What?”
“I’m scared and I have a bad feeling,” I admit keeping my voice low.
Colts fingers squeeze my hand. “I told you. It’s going to be fine. Jenna is going to meet us here and then you can go home.”
And if I don’t want to go home?
“Okay,” I say weakly. Colt lets go of my hand and grabs my upper arm instead. We walk a little further before Colt stops in front of a lit room with an open door.
“There you are,” a man sitting at the desk greats us. He gives me a once over and I want to puke. I don’t like this whole place and I definitely do not like this guy. Only when Colt’s thumb starts drawing little circles on the back of my arm, I calm down a bit.
“What now?” Colt asks and I flinch. His voice has changed somehow. It sounds cold and detached.
“The papers are ready. Go ahead and call your old friends. There is a room on the right, where you can lock that one in,” he says pointing at me.
Colt walks me out and immediately releases my arm and grabs my hand instead.
“I don’t like this guy,” I whisper and lean against him as we walk.
“I don’t think anybody like this guy,” Colt says in the voice I’m used to. “We’re going call Jenna and then you can leave and never have to see this guy again.”
He takes me to a room with no window and a door that has a dead bold on the outside. He takes out a phone from his back pocket and I realize that it’s Jenna’s. Scrolling down the contact list, he hits Elisa’s name and brings the phone to his ear.
“Hey girls, I hope I didn’t wake you.” Again, his voice sounds different. Almost as if he wants to sounds like an arrogant prick who doesn’t care about anything. I hear Jenna voice on the other end, but it’s too muffled to make out what she is saying.
“She is right here next to me, waiting for you to come and pick her up.” After a small pause, he looks at the phone and pushes the speaker button. Then he hands me the phone.
“Jenna?” I ask.
“Josie! Oh my god, are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you? Just tell me where you are and I’ll be there.” My sister sounds hysterical.
“Yes, it’s me. I am okay. Really. I don’t know exactly where I am, but you shouldn’t come.” I barely get the last word out before Colt snatches the phone, shaking his head at me. He takes the phone off speaker but I can still hear Jenna yelling on the other end.
“Calm down, she is fine. Just do as I say, and you can have her back in one piece,” Colt threatens and I want to poke his eye out. I don’t want him to scare my sister like that. I know that he wouldn’t hurt me, but she doesn’t.
“There you go, much better,” he patronizes Jenna, “I need you to come and meet me, so you can sign your new statements and I need you to bring Eliza to do the same.”
“If you want your sister back, you will bring her,” he says and hangs up.
I punch him in the arm, without thinking. “Why would you scare her like that? That's not funny.”
10
Colt
I hear someone approaching out in the hallway and open the door. It’s Jenna and she came alone. Coleman is not going to be happy about that.
Jenna speeds past me into her room. “Where is my sister?
“Where is Eliza? Colman asks.
“Please, just leave Eliza out of this. I’ll sign whatever you want me to,” she begs.
“I’m afraid I’ll need her as well.”
Jenna opens her mouth to speak again when someone knocks on the door. I open and find Karl holding onto Eliza’s arm. “She was outside.”
I step aside to let them in.
“There you are, Sweetheart.” Coleman coaxes. “I have been waiting so long to see you again.” He pushes the statements towards them and points toward two chars in front of the desk. “Please sit. Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way so we can reunite you with your dear sister.”
Hesitantly, they take a seat. Jenna grabs the pen and signs first. Eliza does the same shortly after.
Coleman smiles widely, his eyes gleam with excitement as he takes the papers back. For the first time, I wonder if Hunter was right. Does he want more than the guys in jail? Did he do this whole thing just to get to Elisa? If he thinks he is going to keep Eliza here, he is wrong. I don’t really like her, but I am not a total ass. I won’t leave her here knowing what Coleman is planning.
Coleman looks up. “Karl, go get her.”
No way in hell this guy is alone with Josie for even a second. “No, I’ll get her,” I bark, holding up my hand.
“I don’t care who gets her, just get her here,” Coleman hisses.
Just before I walk out I catch Jenna looking at me like she is about to ask me for help. I leave the room with a horrible feeling in my gut. I shouldn't leave Eliza and Jenna alone with them. Not even for the minute, it takes me to get Josie.
Josie is pacing the room when I come in. “Is Jenna here?”
“Yes, come
on.”
Josie looks like she is on the verge of crying and I don’t know why. All I know is that every step I take is making my chest hurt. I know that this is goodbye and it sucks.
“Colt, please don’t leave us with them.”
“Jenna and Eliza already signed. You are going home.”
“Colt, I overheard them earlier. They are not going to let us go. Please, I know you don’t like my sister but…”
“Stop!” I cut her off. The hurt and fright in her eyes is like a knife twisting in my chest. I do the only thing I can think of, and pull her into my arms. I was sure she would push me away, instead, she leans into me. Her arms come around my back and she pulls me even closer to her, burying her face in my shirt.
I let my chin rest on the top of her head and take in a deep breath. I close my eyes, wallowing in how she feels in my embrace. Before I release her, I slip the thumb drive into my jacket pocket. The jacket Josie is still wearing. Whatever happens in the next hour, I am making sure that she is getting out of here.
Josie storms into the room and slams into Jenna, who met her halfway.
“What a beautiful reunion.” Coleman snickers.
Jenna untangles herself enough to look at him. “We did what you wanted, let us go.” Karl positions himself in front of the door to block their only way out.
“You just got here,” Coleman laughs. “Eliza owes me some fun and my friend Karl over here has a thing for twins. So, why don’t we just all get comfortable and stay a while.”
I was mad when he was threatening Eliza but now, with Josie in danger, it takes every ounce of restraint I have to not let the anger boiling inside of me take over.
“You can go now, we got it from here,” Coleman nods towards me.
The only thing keeping me from ripping out his throat right now is Karl. I need to play this smart, or nobody is going to walk out of here.
“What are you waiting for? Get out of here,” Coleman growls impatiently.
The Lies We Tell: An Enemy to Lovers Young Adult Romance (Pushed Aside Book 3) Page 5