by Lucy Monroe
An original, as her father had said. “Yes. I know.”
“I wanted to get to know her better,” Irisa continued softly, “I was delighted to discover I had a sister and she truly seemed happy to know me.”
The underlying disbelief in her voice confused him.
“She didn’t want to discuss fashion, or any of the other things my mother had taught me to discuss with other ladies of the ton. Thea allowed me to tell her about the books I read and my ideas on estate management.”
Irisa had ideas on estate management?
“And I listened with rapt fascination when she talked about business. She’s very intelligent and patient as well. Because some of the concepts were so foreign to me I couldn’t get them, she came up with the idea of me investing my pin money and keeping track of the investments myself. It was very illuminating. I showed an aptitude for it and Thea was very pleased with me.”
There was that tone in her voice again, almost as if her sister’s approval was more than she could grasp. “So, you continued with the experiment.”
“Yes and my investment capital continued to grow.”
When she named the amount she had started off with and what she had amassed since then, he could not help but be impressed. “So you see, it’s really nothing for you to be worried about. I won’t invest our household accounts and I promise not to go dressed in rags in order to cover my little hobby.”
“This aspect of your relationship with your sister is important to you?”
“Yes. Very.” She squeezed his forearm doing very little to reassure him and a great deal to excite him. “Lucas, I can’t bear the thought of a marriage in which you would expect me to account for every farthing or idea in my head. Surely you understand that. Think how you would hate it if I questioned your every decision and expenditure.”
Didn’t she realize that men and women were different? Of course he would not tolerate her interference in his business management. The idea was so ludicrous, he refused to respond to it.
However, he could be understanding when the need arose. “You may continue making investments with your sister after we are married so long as you limit yourself to the capital you have already secured.”
Irisa did not think it would be wise to inform Lucas that she had no intention of giving up her investments regardless of what he said. She bit her lip to keep from saying something scathing in that regard. After all, she could sense that Lucas was trying to understand.
She had known when she agreed to marry him that he was somewhat stuffy, but she did not consider him rigid. Not like Papa. It would be her job as his wife to help Lucas soften toward new concepts.
She removed her hand from his forearm. “Thank you, Lucas. That is very generous of you.”
If he heard the sarcasm in her voice, he gave no sign. But then, the man was as dense as the evening fog sometimes.
She had been so sure that he wanted to discuss his finer feelings with her this afternoon. She had noted the lack of a tiger in the back of the phaeton. Such an occurrence could only mean that Lucas had something private he wished to share with her. A woman could be forgiven for believing that the day after she agreed to marry a gentleman such a discussion would revolve around emotions, not money.
It had all started so well too, with Lucas wanting to set the wedding date quickly. Although the prospect of a speedy marriage made her nervous, his eagerness could be taken as a very good sign, she staunchly reminded herself. Just because he had not yet kissed her properly, there was no reason to believe he did not return the attraction she felt.
Perhaps, like one of the romantic heroes in the novels she read, he wanted to wait until after their marriage because he feared he would overwhelm her with his passions if he kissed her before. The thought held a certain romantic flair, but it did nothing to lessen her frustrated feelings.
She wanted to be kissed by Lucas, to experience the transcendent bliss the poets wrote about and if it took every bit of the keen intelligence Thea insisted she possessed, Irisa was going to make it happen.
CHAPTER THREE
However, over the next days, though they spent a great deal more time together, Lucas showed no inclination to pursue a physical bond with her.
He had kissed her lightly once, but his withdrawal had been immediate and she still wasn’t sure she had felt his lips against hers.
While their time together might not be doing anything to spark his ardor for her, it was having a disastrous effect on her emotions. She grew more and more convinced that she felt far more for him than mere liking and physical desire while she became simultaneously certain that his feelings for her were limited to the first and sadly lacking in the second.
She was contemplating that rather depressing truth when he arrived to claim his second dance of the evening, a waltz.
She put her hand on his proffered arm, but hesitated to join the other dancers in the center of the ballroom.
He looked down at her questioningly.
“I would rather take a stroll around the garden if you don’t mind. It’s very warm in here.” She had no desire to circle the room in his arms while all sorts of excitations affected her person and he remained as cool and calm as ever.
He considered her request, his expression not pleased at the prospect. No doubt, he was trying to determine whether or not it would be entirely correct to take a walk in garden with his fiancée.
“Are you sure you would not rather dance?”
“I am certain.”
Disappointment flickered in his eyes and she almost recanted her words, but he had already started walking.
“Then, come.” He led her out through one of the many sets of double doors along the perimeter of the room.
The cooler air outside did feel good and she breathed deeply, enjoying the freedom away from society’s ever watchful eye. She spent so much time behaving correctly that sometimes she felt more like a life-size marionette than a woman of flesh and blood. And perhaps that was how Lucas saw her.
Bothered by her thoughts, she stepped away from him.
“Are you feeling quite the thing, m’dear?” His voice was tinged with genuine concern. “Perhaps you should ask your mother to take you home.”
“That’s not necessary.” Not to mention impractical. Her mother giving up on an entertainment because Irisa felt slightly under the weather was as likely as Prinny taking on a monastic existence. “I’m simply a bit warm. Besides, it’s pleasant to be private for a moment, don’t you think?”
“Being in a dark garden is no guarantee of privacy.”
“It’s an improvement over a ballroom full of the beau monde in that regard, you must admit.”
“There are times a room full of people affords greater privacy than a secluded garden.”
They were obviously considering different types of privacy. She could not imagine kissing him in a crowded ballroom, but the prospect of doing so in the dark garden made her pulse race. However, his words intrigued her. “What times?”
“It is easier to make certain a private conversation is not overheard in room filled with people, than a garden filled with shadows and places for people to hide.”
“Who would want to hide in the shadows?”
“Any number of people. Thieves intent on observing the movements within a household, a couple hoping to have a tryst, intelligence agents looking for information.”
“I suppose you know all about it?”
“In fact, I do.”
“You’ve had a garden tryst?” The possibility made her chest squeeze tight with pain. He had dismissed his sense of correctness for another woman, but had no desire to do so for her.
“No.” He sounded scandalized by the idea.
“Well, you haven’t been a thief,” she blurted.
“No, but I have been a spy.”
“You cannot be serious.” Her Lucas?
“I’m afraid so.”
“But you’re the heir to the title. You take
your responsibilities so very seriously.”
“Which is precisely why I worked as an intelligence agent during the war. I had a responsibility to my country to do what I could. Going into battle was not a possibility, but gathering information was.”
“Surely it was just as dangerous.”
“At times, but then there are times being a nobleman carries more risk than a commoner. Some risks simply cannot be avoided.”
In one respect his admission shocked her, but in another it made sense of some character traits that did not seem at all in keeping with a man who had spent his entire adult life seeing to the management of his estates and little else. He had an aura about him that was both dangerous and intense at times. It drew her like a moth to flame though she wished it did not.
“Were you ever hurt?”
He shrugged, the movement discernable only because he stood with his back to the house and was silhouetted in the darkness against the lights from the ballroom. “On occasion that sort of thing cannot be avoided.”
“I suppose not.”
“I learned many things during that time. I discovered that the appearance of innocence is nothing compared to the reality, that people you believe are your friends can in fact be your enemy.”
“That must have been hard.”
“It was worth it to serve my country’s needs.”
He said the words so casually, but how many noblemen had left the war effort to others? How many had refused to help in any way? Her father had, just as he had ignored the plight of returning soldiers, some wounded, all in need of a way to make another life. She knew Lucas had responded to that need as well. Her maid had told her that most of the male servants in Lucas’s employ were former soldiers.
After scolding her maid for gossiping again, she had hugged the knowledge of Lucas’s goodness to her heart. He was a true gentleman among his peers.
“How could you tell friend from foe?”
“I learned to rely on my instincts.”
She could not imagine. “Were they ever wrong?”
“Rarely.”
She hoped hers were as infallible because it had been her womanly instincts that had dictated she accept his proposal of marriage. She could only pray they had not led her astray.
***
Irisa confidently took the reins from her sister’s hands and remembering Thea’s instructions, concentrated on guiding the carriage through Hyde Park. Traffic was light because it was well before the hour when the beau monde came out en masse to see and be seen.
“You’re doing very well, Irisa. You have a natural ability with the ribbons,” Thea praised her.
Irisa smiled, a warm glow invading her heart. Her sister was so different from the rest of the family. With Mama and Papa, she had always felt unworthy. Thea never made her feel that way. She acted as if she was truly glad to have a half-sister.
To be fair, Irisa knew Jared was fond of her as well, but she would never forget that it was because of her that he had withdrawn from society. His face carried permanent marks that testified to both his bravery and her formerly impetuous nature. Society’s cruel gossip had ensured he would never willingly embrace a lifestyle amidst the ton again.
Jared had never been lighthearted, but after he rescued her and obtained the wounds that left lasting scars in the process, he had grown almost forbidding. She did not think he needed anyone. Not like her. She had always craved a closeness her family had been loath to provide...until Thea.
Spending time with the Drakes and their two small children was the highlight of Irisa’s time in London. Being an aunt had turned out to be one of the most satisfying experiences of her life. Her niece and nephew loved her without reservation and accepted her love in the same manner.
“Driving is every bit as enjoyable as I had hoped it would be,” she said as she neatly maneuvered the carriage around an obstruction on the path.
“You should have asked me to teach you sooner,” Thea chided her.
“Papa would have thrown a fit. He has such old-fashioned ideas about ladies. Besides, the idea that I wanted to learn did not truly form until recently.” She bit her lip and concentrated on avoiding a rather wide landau coming from the other direction. “I had hoped that Lucas would teach me, but he informed me he did not have the time.”
Thea chuckled. “I find that hard to believe, sister-mine. The man is engaged to you.”
Irisa smiled at the endearment, but shook her head. “I certainly don’t feel engaged.”
“What do you mean?”
Thankful for the distraction of handling the reins so she did not have to look at her sister when she spoke, she admitted in a rush, “Lucas has never really kissed me.”
She felt Thea’s steady stare. “What do you mean really kissed you?”
“You know, like a man does with a woman he desires. Like Drake kisses you when he thinks no one is looking.”
Thea coughed. “I see. And I assume you want Lord Ashton to kiss you this way?”
Irisa nodded her head vehemently. “Very much.”
The carriage jolted and she realized she had allowed her attention to wander.
Thea reached over and took the reins. “I think I had better drive while we have this conversation.”
Relieved at the lack of censure in her sister’s voice, Irisa did not protest losing the ribbons.
“I’m terribly fond of Lucas, but I’m not sure what he feels for me.” In truth, she was almost certain she loved the man and that scared her witless. Loving people made one vulnerable and she’d spent too much of her life in that condition not to recognize it.
“Papa told him about the unique circumstances surrounding my birth and he did not withdraw the offer, so I assumed he had some tender feelings, but you would never know that by the way he has treated me these past two weeks.”
“Langley told Lord Ashton about that?” Thea sounded stunned.
“Yes. I know it is a shock. I did not expect it. I had thought I would have to do the deed, but apparently Papa realized my intent and took matters into his own hand.”
“That’s astonishing.”
Irisa agreed, but she did not want to discuss their father’s aberrant behavior. She was much more concerned with Lucas’s lack of interest in the more intimate side of courtship.
“I admit that I have no personal experience in these matters, but I’ve read several novels. It seems to me that if Lucas did hold me in affection, he would have given some indication by now of his attraction to me.”
Thea appeared to mull that over. “Life is not like a novel, you know.”
She appreciated her sister’s practical approach to the matter. If she had attempted to have such a discussion with Mama, the older woman would collapse in a fit of vapors.
She opened her parasol and twirled it in a most unladylike fashion. “Are you saying that I’m wide of the mark in assuming Lucas should express some physical desire for me before the wedding?”
“Well, he is a very correct gentleman. I think you would be safe in assuming he intends to rein in his passions until after your marriage.”
“Did Drake wait until after your marriage before expressing his desire for your person?”
For the first time she could ever remember, Thea blushed. “Not precisely.”
Irisa nodded more in resignation than agreement. “That is what I thought.”
Surely it was not so unreasonable for her to expect some small sign of Lucas’s attraction before they were wed.
***
Irisa’s nerve almost gave out when the footman reached for her cloak upon arrival at her sister’s townhouse a week later. She had a desperate urge to snatch at the fabric and stay safely covered. The plan that had seemed so perfect in the privacy of her bedroom, now required every bit of courage she possessed.
Even with only her mirror and Pansy for company, her neckline had made her feel exposed, but she had believed the eventual outcome outweighed her minor discomfort. Under the brigh
t illumination of Thea’s new gaslights, Irisa’s discomfort was anything but minor. She felt the heat of a blush spreading upward from her very exposed bosom.
Flipping open her fan, she waved energetically, hoping to rid herself of the hot color before Lucas noticed. Any moment now he would turn to escort her to Thea’s drawing room. They were to eat dinner with the Drakes before attending a ball elsewhere. What would Lucas do when he noticed the altered neckline and close fit of the iridescent gown?
The shimmering fabric clung to her every feminine curve, though she hadn’t gone so far as to dampen the muslin of her underskirts. She did not have the boldness required for such a move, even to tempt Lucas to passion.
And she had waited to put this particular plan into action until she was certain not to spend the evening under her mama’s ever-watchful eye. Since Lady Langley did not socialize with the Drakes, tonight was the perfect opportunity.
Biting her lip, she wondered if perhaps she should have listened to Pansy regarding the matter. Her maid had maintained that rather than being overcome with passion at the sight of her in such alluring clothing, his lordship was more likely to think she’d lost her mind and take her straight home.
She sincerely hoped Pansy was wrong. Irisa could no longer wait placidly by for Lucas to notice her womanly allure. They had been engaged for three weeks and he had yet to kiss her with anything more than brotherly affection. There had been one instance the previous week at the Hadley soiree when she had been certain Lucas was feeling more than mild interest.
Complaining that the room was too hot and she felt light-headed, she had convinced him to once again take her for a walk in the garden. This time she had been prepared to act to ensure they did more than talk, as fascinating as she found conversation with him to be.
Unlike the week before, this garden had been lit with attractively hung lamps. She had planned to use the light to her advantage and imitate the heroine in the novel she was currently reading. Faking a stumble, she had managed to plaster herself against Lucas. Then, she had parted her lips invitingly, just like the heroine in her book, licking the top one very slowly.