by Ines Johnson
"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Chanyn reached out her hand and placed it atop Merlyn's. "Listen, Merlyn, it’s understandable if you're feeling nervous about your bonding. I know that Liam cares about you. I can see it in his eyes. But your bonding won't be for a while yet."
"It'll be in a month's time. They've found a suitable second mate."
"Oh? Is he not to your liking?"
Merlyn had never considered what she liked.
"The choice of bondmates is your own, Merlyn," Chanyn continued.
"My life's not like yours Chanyn. Everything has always been planned for me. Planned by my Mother and Grand Mother. The only choices I have are what I do in my lab, and even that has been dictated by their desires."
"What do you want?"
No one had ever asked her that question before.
Merlyn looked up at the sky. The lovebirds were long gone, far off on the horizon. No trace left of their play.
Merlyn's heart beat steadily. Her palms were dry. Her eyes narrowed as she stared into the sun. She took a deep breath, noticing that her head was as clear as the sky. Her life may have been designed by others, but options had presented themselves before. Her choice had always been to stay the course that was set before her or fail.
She could've chosen to fail. It had never occurred to her to try. She didn't want to fail. She loved her work and she wanted to excel at it.
"I want what I've always dreamed: to be a great woman of science."
11
"You'll need to have the final payment in by the end of the month, otherwise you will forfeit your deposit and the land will go to the next bidder."
"Don't worry. You'll have your money," Jaspir told the land agent.
The woman looked at him with doubt, but she took his money. Men were allowed to own land, but the land was typically passed down from Mother to son.
Rarely did young lords buy land of their own. Even more rare could a discard, with no family status or connections, afford even a small parcel.
Jaspir left the land agent's offices and made the return to Stallions. When he got to the dark, one story building, he stood outside the door and stared up at it. It was the third place he'd called home. And it had been a home. He'd been accepted inside these walls. No one ever threatened to throw him out —as long as he met his quota when under contract; and later paid his monthly dues and rent.
Jaspir entered the establishment and saw Garren sitting at his concierge desk. Jaspir walked over and handed Garren notice, along with advanced payment, for his rooms until the end of the month.
Garren balked. His olive tone skin turned green as he looked down at the paper work that ended Jaspir's run at the establishment. "So, some old cougar has finally come up with the right price for the fastidious monk?"
That's what happened with most of the stallions who were ready for retirement. They'd move on to be kept by a wealthy woman in a small house or apartment. Garren had never received such a proposal.
"No," said Jaspir. "I'm purchasing my own land with my own money."
Garren scoffed. The men of the establishment rarely saved past a week's salary if they saved at all. Kept men were used to keeping themselves in all of the best luxury and finery.
"You've always thought you were better than all of us," Garren said. "You and your pleasure training. I wasn't coddled and preened. My talents were Goddess given."
"Apparently the Goddess plans to keep you exactly where you are for the rest of your life. She has different plans for me."
"The only woman who has plans with you, my love, is me."
Jaspir hesitated to turn at the sound of Lady Myra's high-pitched voice. He let out a sigh, plastered on the serene smile he'd copied from his former teacher, Elder Gerry, and turned.
Halfway around, Jaspir remembered that he no longer needed to placate anyone or any woman.
"You're late for our appointment, Jas. I expect you to make it up to me."
Jaspir caught her hand before it landed on his chest. "My apologies, my lady." Jaspir released her hand and bowed, stepping back and beyond her reach. "My services are no longer available at this establishment."
Her face crumpled in confusion. "I don't understand. Have you been fired?" Lady Myra cast an evil glare at Garren.
"No, my lady," said Jaspir.
"Have you entered a contract with some other hussy?"
"No, my lady."
"Then what? I don't understand."
"I've quit. I'll be moving on."
"Moving on to where? To what?"
"Away. To a place where I will serve no woman or man, save myself."
Lady Myra looked dumbfounded. "That's preposterous. You're a man, a discard, a whore. You were made to serve."
Jaspir's mouth straightened. "All true. And I'm thrilled that I will no longer have to service you or any other entitled, grand dam who disrespects her bond while trying to cling to her youth."
Jaspir turned and left the establishment. He looked up in the sky and saw birds flying, migrating to a warmer clime as the winter approached. With his schedule clear for longer than a few hours or a single day, Jaspir wasn't quite sure what to do with his own time.
His feet carried him down a familiar path. He'd heard that the temple was near ruins after he left. He'd heard about the scandal with his brother, Jian. Jian had been one of his favorite brothers. His other two brothers, Adom and Emet, who'd also left the temple, he saw on a fairly regular basis. But he hadn't seen Jian in years. He'd missed the company of the male, but outsiders were not allowed to breach the temple gates, and Jaspir was now an outsider.
Jaspir stood at the temple gates, on the outside looking in. The temple didn't look as though it was in dire straits. The roof looked new. A fresh coat of paint adorned the front. The top domes gleamed bright in the sun. Suddenly, a familiar face appeared at the temple doors. As the face walked closer, Jaspir couldn't hide his grin.
"Brother Jian."
Jian looked up and his face lit. "Jaspir?"
Jian covered the remaining distance quickly, his long strides bringing him to Jaspir in no time. And then Jaspir was being embraced.
Jaspir was not an emotional man, but tears threatened his eyes as he clasped the back of one of the only people he considered family.
"By the Goddess, it’s good to see you, my brother." Jian pulled away and beamed down at Jaspir's face.
"I haven't been a Brother for many years."
"You will always be my brother," Jian continued. "Vows or not."
Those words warmed Jaspir's heart. He took in his old friend. There was something different about the male. His head was still shaven clean, as was the way of the monks, but his clothing was different. He wore the linen shirt and slacks of a regular male. "So, it’s true. You're no longer a Brother either?"
"I gave up my vows," Jian answered.
Merlyn had said one of his brothers told her where to find him. So Jian knew about his stay at Stallions.
"But I could never stop doing this work completely," Jian said. "You and I both, it would seem. We are still orchestrators of pleasure."
Jaspir preferred Jian's title of orchestrator to Lady Myra's title of whore. "I am that. I may not have bound myself to the Goddess in words, but her words penetrated me."
"The clever foxes who hear my call will be those who sniff out pleasure like a hound. These loyal steeds are orchestrators of pleasure who will submit their hearts to me and serve my daughters for all of their days."
Jaspir nodded as Jian recited the creed of the Pleasure Hounds. Jaspir was able to agree to all but the last part of the creed. He'd been happy to serve the Goddess' daughters, but he could not submit his heart to the deity. It belonged to someone else. Stallions made no demands on his heart, only his body.
"I've given up that other lifestyle too," Jaspir said.
"Really? I'd love to hear all about it." Jian turned them down the street. "Come. Meet my family."
"Family? Do you mean to tell me the
girl from all those years ago, you bonded with her?"
Jian let out a hearty laugh. "By the Goddess, no. Come, meet my lady. We'll catch up along the way."
* * *
The front door of the grand house was pulled open by a manservant who smiled congenially at them both, and then bowed. Now one had ever bowed to Jaspir. Only lords and monks received such reverence. Jaspir was neither. He wondered what the manservant would think if he knew a gigolo crossed his cleaned floors.
"Jian," called a feminine voice. "Is that you?"
Jian followed the voice to a room off the main hall, with Jaspir in his wake. When Jaspir entered the room, he saw Jian lean over to kiss a pregnant woman. Her brown face glowed up at him with joy. Their hands met on her abdomen. Jian pulled away to reveal his lady... and her companion.
"Jaspir, this is my wife, Lady Chanyn."
Jaspir wasn't sure if he nodded his head or said a greeting. His focus would not move from the lady seated beside Jian's wife.
"It's good to see you again, Lady Merlyn," Jian said.
Merlyn didn't respond. Her eyes were locked on Jaspir.
"Lady Merlyn," said Jian. "I'd like to introduce you to my brother—"
"Brother?" Merlyn asked.
"Yes. We were brothers in the temple. Though both of us are not under the temple's vows, brothers we remain."
Jian turned to Jaspir, a knowing look passed over his dark eyes. Jaspir had told Jian and his other two brothers all of his secrets during their time in the Brotherhood. He'd told them about his undying love for a young lady. Jian knew that that was the reason Jaspir couldn't take the vows to the Goddess and thusly, caused him to leave the Brotherhood.
The stare off between Jaspir and Merlyn was interrupted by the arrival of another male. This male looked around the room and scowled at Jaspir. His look was assessing, as though he believed Jaspir a threat.
Jian walked over and put his arm around the male. "Jaspir, this is my husband, Lord Khial."
Lord Khial made no move to embrace hands with Jaspir.
"Khi, this is one of my brothers. He grew up with me at the temple."
Lord Khial took his gaze from Jaspir and glanced up at Jian. Something passed between the two and Jaspir saw Lord Khial relax, a fraction. Lord Khial nodded at Jaspir and then turned away, heading directly for Lady Chanyn.
"I'm headed out," he said dipping down to kiss his bondmate's eyelids. "I'll be teaching a music class at the shelter."
Lord Khial went to straighten up, but Lady Chanyn caught his face and pulled him down for a kiss on his lips. He grinned and went willingly. Before straightening, he glazed his hand over her belly.
"Make sure she eats enough meat and lentils," Lord Khial said to Jian. "Growing babes need protein."
"I will, Khi," Jian answered. His smile was good humored.
"And try to keep her inside," Lord Khial straightened and went to Jian. "She's already been out in the gardens today for hours."
"She is right here," said Lady Chanyn. "And she is not a pet to order about."
"I will try to make her heel," Jian winked at her.
Lady Chanyn rolled her eyes.
"Try not to be too late, Khi." Jian turned his attention to Lord Khial. He ran a hand down the other male's bicep. Lord Khial pressed a kiss to Jian's lips.
Jaspir should have looked away at the heat between them, but he couldn't. It fascinated him. When the two males parted, Jaspir's eyes caught Merlyn's. Her eyes had been fixed on the two males as well.
* * *
Dinner was a happy affair. Lady Chanyn and Jian included both Merlyn and Jaspir in their conversation. All talk steered clear of the unspoken topic in the room that was Jaspir and Merlyn's past. Jaspir had a lovely talk with Chanyn about her garden and her eclectic mix of plants. After the last dish was cleared, Lady Chanyn yawned. With that small sigh, all of the male servants and her husband were at her side.
Lady Chanyn rolled her eyes again but allowed herself to be led away to bed. Jian embraced Jaspir and made him promise to visit again soon. And then he and Merlyn were alone.
Jaspir reached his hand out to Merlyn. "I'll walk you out to your conveyance."
When she placed her hand in his, he realized his mistake. He'd promised Liam that he wouldn't touch her again. He'd promised himself she would never become like Lady Myra and his other former clients. The feel of her hand in his set off alarm bells that tripped along the veins to his heart and his heart began to pound. His nostrils filled with her scent. He couldn't take his eyes, or his hand, off her.
They walked slowly down the hall and out of the front doors. Once on the stoop they paused. Jaspir did not let go of her hand. Merlyn did not take hers back.
"Liam kissed me."
Jaspir played the words over in his head twice. The first time a spark of anger struck. The second time a light of curiosity hit him. "Did you enjoy it?"
Merlyn blinked. Clearly, that wasn't the response she had expected either. "I... I did."
Jaspir rubbed his thumb over her pulse. The vein jumped at his touch. "Tell me about it."
"You want me to tell you about kissing another man?"
"Yes." Jaspir traced his fingers to the crux of her elbow. "How did it start?"
Merlyn blinked, but she began to speak. "He began by rubbing his thumb over my lip. He said I had something on my face."
"Clever of him. And then he leaned in and kissed you?"
"No, he put one hand at my waist. The other he wrapped around my neck."
"Good." The male was heeding Jaspir's instructions. "Go on."
"I... Then he tilted my head up. I was going to push him away."
"But you didn't."
Merlyn shook her head. Jaspir stepped closer to her, one hand on her waist, the other at the nape of her neck. Her hands rested against his chest. She didn't push him away.
"Did he kiss you lightly?"
"Yes," she nodded. "Light kisses. Just like with you."
A sliver of pride shot up Jaspir's spine that his lessons had pleased her. Jaspir was so close to her. He felt her breath on his lips. He tasted the scent of her on his tongue. Her words aroused a powerful erection.
"And then he began to thrust his tongue in my mouth."
"Tell me what that felt like, Merlyn?"
Her eyes fluttered shut, her head tilted back. "It was warm, and soft, and wet. A throbbing began between my legs. I pressed them together seeking relief."
"Did he relieve the throbbing, my love?" Jaspir's mouth was less than an inch away from her. He only needed to dip his tongue out and he would taste her, satisfy the throbbing in both of them.
"No. He couldn't." Merlyn opened her eyes, and the fog cleared. "My mother interrupted us."
Her last words were like a cold shower. Jaspir released her and took a step back. He turned from her until his breathing, and his erection, were under control. He'd never had such a powerful erection before from words only. And never from the machinations of another male.
"You wanted him to do more?" Jaspir asked.
"Yes." Merlyn's voice was wobbly. "Are you angry with me?"
Jaspir turned, perplexed. "Why would I be angry with you?"
"Because I let another man kiss me."
Jaspir took her in his arms. He couldn't help it. "No, my love. I'm not angry." He tucked her head in to the crook of his shoulder. "I want you to be taken care of in every sense of the word. I crave your happiness." Jaspir didn't realize the truth of his words until he'd said them out loud. "It eases my heart to know that he can please you."
"Really?" Her words were muffled against his chest.
Jaspir pulled away from her and put her hand on his heart. "The heart doesn't lie." His heart pounded beneath her hand, so hard he saw her fingers twitch with each beat. "This does not change the way I feel about you. I will never stop loving you, but you know that we cannot be together. If I cannot make you happy directly, I'm pleased that he can."
Beyond that, Jaspir was pleased tha
t he was the orchestrator of her pleasure.
12
Liam stood in the center of Jaspir's room. His money had paid for him to bypass the waiting room, and he was admitted down the hall immediately. Many of the stallions tried to get his attention, whistling and making suggestive comments about what they could do for him. Liam rushed to Jaspir's door, but not before noting that he still felt no pull to any of the other men.
Liam felt a bit disappointed at the empty room. He knew Jaspir wasn't there. The concierge had said as much, after grilling Liam about his connection to Jaspir.
He was thrilled with his progress with Merlyn. The thought of the kiss they shared made his cock hard. But he was also anxious. He knew that Merlyn would accompany her mother to the Sisterhood to present their findings soon. The Sisterhood would debate the matter for some time before taking any action. Liam did not feel confident that the council of women would decide in the favor of men.
If the insemination trials began, it could spell the end to bonding between men and women. And it would be, in large part, due to Liam's mathematical finds. If he had known that was Lady Angyla's end game from the beginning, he would not have worked so hard to make headway in Merlyn's research. He was certain Merlyn hadn't known of her mother's ultimate goal. He'd seen the shock on her face when the older woman announced her intentions. He'd seen the reluctance in her eyes after they parted ways that evening. That gave Liam hope. Hope that maybe she wanted a traditional bond and all it entailed.
Merlyn had been absent from the lab all morning. Likely preparing the presentation for the Sisterhood with her mother. Liam knew he didn't have much time to make his next move with her.
He looked at his watch. He'd been in Jaspir's room for hours. Where was the male? Perhaps he'd taken the initial payment and left, he was a scoundrel after all. It would be the perfect revenge. Liam had him kicked out of his home, which landed him in this place. But all of his things were still as they were the night before. Some were strewn over the floor.