by Jillian Dodd
His tongue explores the edges of the lace only, darting underneath but not staying for long.
He suddenly changes his position quickly and lies on his side next to me.
He kisses me again, his tongue thrusting into my mouth in a forceful way, almost like it's mad at me.
I reply with equal force. Coming to sit almost upright when I feel his fingers pushing aside the lace, then touching me between the soft folds.
"God, you're wet," he says, his fingers rubbing the outside of me. The friction alone is almost driving me mad.
"Oh," I moan.
But then his finger dives inside me.
Then quickly out.
And I'm lost to him.
One single finger.
One tongue.
Completely controlling my body.
Controlling my heart.
And my mind.
I arch my back. "Mhmmmm. Ohmigawd, Aiden, that feels so good."
He sucks the skin at the base of my neck while the throbbing reaches deep inside my body to places he can't touch.
After moaning an embarrassing amount, I kiss him deeply, then bravely and quickly move my hand inside his sliders and grasp the Titan.
Which, I discover, is a very appropriate name.
I should explore it but I don't.
I have but one goal.
To make him feel as good as I just did.
So I wrap my fingers around it and stroke.
Until he does.
Then we lie flat out on the bed. Both of us feeling completely spent.
He rolls over, pulls my back tightly into his chest, and lazily kisses my shoulder.
Just as I'm about to fall asleep--or maybe I'm already dreaming--I think I hear him whisper, I love you.
Friday, November 25th
About last night.
9am
I wake up and peek at the clock, shocked to see that it's almost nine.
I'm not ready to get up though. I want to lie in bed with Aiden all day. Revel in the glory of him. Sing praises about his chest. Write poems about his tongue. A sonnet about his lips. Buy a billboard in Times Square thanking him for his amazing fingers.
I pick his shirt up off the edge of the bed and pull it on, buttoning just the middle button.
I hug myself, loving how his shirt feels on me. And knowing that, somehow, I'm not letting it go home with him.
I lie back down and run my hand down his arm, wanting him to wake up so I can see those gorgeous green eyes.
He shifts and wraps his arm around me, pulling me close, but not speaking.
I look at the clock again.
Shit.
52 hours and counting.
"Come on, Aiden. Let's get up and get our day started. We have a lot to do."
"I thought coming to the beach meant doing nothing?" he says groggily.
"You promised to do all the stuff on my list. That starts today."
"Are we surfing this morning?"
"Maybe."
"I think we should lie here and talk about last night."
My face breaks out in a grin. "What about last night?"
"Well, for starters, you have my shirt on."
"Oh, do you want it back?"
"No. I love you naked in my shirt."
"Technically, I'm not naked if I'm wearing a shirt."
"Barely wearing," he says, touching my stomach where the shirt falls open. "This shirt is officially yours. It looks way better on you than it does on me." He studies me. "You're beautiful."
I cover my face. "I'm sure I look like a wreck."
"A beautiful wreck then. Wearing my shirt. I'd like to wake up like this every morning of my life." He gives me a naughty grin. "So back to last night."
"Why do you want to talk about it?"
"Because we finally did some of what you wanted to do. Did you like it?"
"Hmmm. Let's just say that I finally agree with what all the boys at school say about you."
"And what's that?"
"You have good hands."
Aiden laughs. "I think they were referring to my goalie skills."
I grab his hand and hold it up to mine. "You do have really big hands. And long fingers. It almost hurt."
Aiden's eyes get huge. "Did I hurt you?"
"No. God, no. Not at all. I said almost."
"Is almost good?"
"Your almost was very good."
I get the godlike smile. "It wasn't sex."
"And I'm okay with that." I start to jump up out of bed, but Aiden pulls me back down and kisses me.
The love cliff.
10:25am
We finally get out of bed, get dressed, and head to the main house for some breakfast. We find Peyton in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee and talking animatedly with Inga.
"Where's Damian?" I ask.
"He's in the office. Business call."
"Oh, cool."
"But he said to tell you that we're going to jump off the cliff today and that you're not chickening out this time."
"You chicken out? Are you afraid of heights?" Aiden asks me as he grabs some eggs and bacon from the warming drawer.
"No, I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of hitting rocks, splatting, and dying."
"Damian says that the locals call it the love cliff," Peyton informs us.
"The love cliff? That's cool," Aiden says.
"Apparently, legend says that if you hold hands and jump off the love cliff, you'll be together forever," Peyton tells us, practically cooing.
"Especially if you hit the rocks and die," I say sarcastically.
"Don't be such a cynic," Damian says, flicking my hair as he walks by.
"Funny, I've never heard it called the love cliff before," I say to Damian, who I think just totally made that whole legend up.
"It's so romantic, isn't it, though?" she asks, clasping her hands together.
"Inga, have you ever heard it called that?"
"Of course; who do you think told him about the legend?"
I roll my eyes. Okay, I can see I can't win this one. They're both liars.
"So, you two in?" Damian asks, taunting me with his grin.
"It wasn't on your list," Aiden says to me. "But it sounds really fun."
"Fine. We'll go, but I'm not jumping."
We finish breakfast, take the Jeep, and drive across the island.
Soon, I find myself standing on a cliff looking over the edge and thinking, No fucking way.
"Are you sure this is a safe place to jump?" Peyton asks Damian, the romantic notion not quite as appealing when you're envisioning leaping to your death.
"Of course," he says, pulling her into his arms and murmuring something into her ear that makes her giggle.
Aiden surveys the jump. "So you've been up here before?"
"Yes."
"And you've seen people jump and survive?"
"Yes."
"But you've never done it?"
"No. What's with the twenty questions? I said I'd come, but I'm not jumping. Please don't try to talk me into it."
He kisses my cheek. "I'm doing it. I want you to jump with me. Off the love cliff."
I roll my eyes. "Aiden, I'll cheer you on. Besides, someone has to be here to scrape you off the rocks and take your bodies home."
He tickles my sides. "You're being silly."
"I know. It's scary though."
"It is really high. It's gonna be a rush."
"We're going for it!" Damian yells. He grabs Peyton's hand, kisses it, and then they run and jump, both of them screaming all the way down.
I look over the edge and see them pop up out of the water.
"They're alive!" Aiden says, mocking me.
"Watch it, or I might just push you off."
"You just saw Damian and Peyton do it and survive."
"I know."
Just as he's about to reply, the breeze blows grass and leaves around us in a little circle.
"Did you see the movie Poc
ahontas?" he asks.
"Yeah."
"That breeze was like the colors of the wind. The earth is telling you to jump with me."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, don't you remember how she jumped off the waterfall? This is nothing compared to that. Just a little old cliff."
I shake my head no.
"Hmm," he says, pulling me into his arms. "The Disney references didn't work. Guess I'm gonna have to pull out the big guns."
"What big guns?"
He touches my face gently, looks into my soul, and says, "Do you trust me?"
I close my eyes and for the first time since Vincent tried to kidnap me, I listen to my heart. "Yes."
He kisses me then whispers, "Then jump with me."
I start to get tears in my eyes. I know this is just a stupid jump, but it feels like so much more.
I nod.
He turns and faces the edge, grabs my hand tightly, and says, "Run!"
I scream as we flail through the air and drop for what seems like both forever and an instant.
When we hit the water, I open my eyes and swim to the surface.
For a second, I can't find Aiden.
Panic spreads through me. Where is he? Did he hit his head? Did he not come up?
I frantically scan the surface of the water looking for any sign of him. Then I spin around to find him just behind me.
"We made it," he says, pulling me close and kissing me. "What a freaking rush!"
"What the hell is that?" Damian says.
"What's what?"
Damian points at us. I look down in the water and see bubbles all around us.
"What the hell?" Aiden says too, scooping up a handful and examining them.
I start laughing.
"What's so funny?" Aiden asks.
"I . . . have . . . bubbles . . ." I manage to choke out between laughs.
"Like, bubble bath?" Peyton says, trying to understand.
"Yeah, we took a bubble bath at my loft, and Aiden had that swimsuit on."
"You took a bubble bath wearing a swimsuit?" Damian laughs. "There's something just wrong with that."
But Aiden and I don't care. We can't stop laughing.
Or kissing.
We make the long hike back to the top of the cliff, then drive to the nearest town, have fried fish at a shack on the beach, and head back to the house.
Totally did the deed.
2pm
Damian and I are lying in the sun while Peyton and Aiden are inside talking to their parents on the phone.
Damian squints at me. "You two are awfully tight today. You totally did the deed last night."
I shake my head at him. "No," I say, like the deed is the grossest thing ever.
"Something happened."
I blush and look completely guilty.
"Tell me what happened," he demands.
"Um, well, I touched it."
"You touched what?"
"It. You know, his boy part."
Damian snickers. "Seriously, Keats, you shouldn't be touching it if you aren't mature enough to say it. Besides, what's the big deal?"
"Shut up. And it's a big deal for us. I mean, I still haven't actually seen it, but I kinda felt it."
"Felt it, or did something to it?"
"Fine. I did something to it with my hand."
"That would be called a hand job, Keats. Say it with me now. H-a-n-d J-o-b."
I smack him. "I can say hand job. I just didn't really want to. At least not in reference to Aiden."
"He's spent the weekend at your loft. He's sleeping in your bed. Have you gotten naked with him?"
"Speaking of naked. I saw you and Peyton skinny-dipping last night."
"Oh, that was fun. You should try it. And why haven't you been naked? What are you waiting for?"
"You know why, Damian. Because it will just make it harder to say goodbye."
He glances at Aiden, who's beaming as he walks out of the great room doors, making his way down to the beach, spiked tropical smoothies in hand.
"The way he's been grinning and all over you, I totally thought you guys fu--"
I cover my ears. "Don't say it. Oh, God, I shouldn't have touched it, should I? I'm totally leading him on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
"Now that sounds like more fun."
"So, does the fact that you're following Peyton around like she's a piece of steak mean you haven't yet?"
"I don't want her to think this is just a hookup, so I'm trying to be good. But, damn, if she doesn't have the most amazing mouth."
"Like for kissing, you mean?"
Damian coughs. "For kissing something."
"Oh. God. No. I don't need that visual, please. You showed me yours when we were twelve and I still haven't fully recovered."
"It was so massive it scared you?"
"No, it was a disgusting limp-looking little thing. And I couldn't possibly fathom how sex actually worked."
Damian smiles. "So then I showed you that magazine."
I cover my face with my hands. "Please make him stop," I say to Aiden, who joins us, holding my drink out in front of me.
"Stop what?"
Damian smirks. "Why don't you tell him what we were discussing, Keats? Peyton and I are going to kayak for a bit."
When Peyton walks out of the house, Damian jumps up, kisses her in greeting, then grabs her hand and pulls her toward the boat.
Aiden puts his smoothie glass against mine. "This is really good. So, what were you talking about?"
"Seeing a, um, penis for the first time."
"Is it an embarrassing story?"
"No, I just . . . it's just hard to comprehend the mechanics of sex when you're young and you see it in its, um, natural state."
"Natural state? Like, out in the wild?"
"No, not in the wild. I saw a boy's--" I wave my hand slowly across my body. "--in its natural state."
"As opposed to its unnatural state?"
"Its, um, softer state," I finally say, trying not to think about how his felt in my hand. How I wanted to rip those sliders off his body. Touch it. Feel it. Taste it.
He leans in. "You're thinking about last night right now, aren't you?"
I feel my cheeks turn red. Why am I such a prude about sex when it comes to Aiden? You'd think I'd never done it before. "I, uh . . ."
Aiden arches an eyebrow at me. "Maybe tonight you can see it in its, uh, unnatural state," he says with a laugh as he kisses my cheek. "You're adorable. What's next on our list?"
"Swim with the dolphins. But that's not going to happen."
"Yeah, it is. We're lucky when we're together."
"We're not allowed to take the wave runners out if we're drinking, but since we're just going straight out there," I point straight ahead of me, "and sitting, it will be okay. Are you sure you won't be bored?"
"I'm never bored when I'm with you."
"Don't say I didn't warn you," I laugh, grabbing my drink and heading to dock. I get the wave runner lowered off the dock and Aiden jumps on the seat behind me. I drive us straight out from the house where the water is deeper and turn off the engine. "So, we'll just sit here and wait. The waves will float us back toward the shore, so if we haven't seen any by that time, we'll give up. Deal?"
"That's fine with me," he says, grabbing my waist, pulling me onto his lap, and kissing the back of my neck. "I'll just do this. You can be on lookout." He moves my ponytail off to one side and continues kissing my neck while his hands move up my stomach to caress my bikini top.
When his hand slides under my top, I laugh and say, "You're going to scare them away."
"Turn around so I can kiss you," he tells me. Then he laughs. "Maybe I should untie these strings and toss your top in the water. I bet all the boy dolphins will come running."
"I don't think dolphins can run," I reply teasingly as I stand up carefully then turn around and sit on his lap.
He immediately kisses me, muttering, "Much better," into my lips.
&nbs
p; Our kissing gets deeper, more intense, and I forget where I am and why I'm out here.
All I can focus on is his lips.
His tongue.
His hands roaming across my body.
The way my fingers feel in his hair. Across his back.
I grind myself into his lap with every kiss. With every suck.
My mind on one thing and one thing only.
All of a sudden, we get splashed.
I open my eyes quickly, worried that a boat came too close to us, but there are no boats around.
Then I hear a chirping noise behind me and a dolphin jumps up out of the water and does a flip, splashing us with water again.
"Oh my gosh!" I whisper to Aiden. "Did you just see that?"
"I think he's showing off for you," Aiden says. "He better not be trying to steal my girl."
My breath catches, my stomach getting instant butterflies, and my heart soaring. Because, his girl?
"Look," he whispers, "there's three more, right there."
"And two more over here," I whisper back.
"Don't move," he says, hugging me tighter.
"I've never been this close to one before."
"Are you going to swim with them?"
"Oh, no. You're not supposed to actually swim with wild dolphins. This is what I meant. Like being out here, seeing them, feeling like I'm part of it."
One of the dolphins flies high out of the water with another one following him.
"It's like they're playing tag," Aiden whispers, still holding me tightly on his lap. "They're huge."
We watch with wonder as they swim and play around us, but just as quickly as they came, they're gone, swimming off into the distance.
My arms are still wrapped around Aiden's neck, so I pull his adorable face closer to me. "You're right. We are lucky together."
We kiss a bit.
Okay, we kiss a lot.
Damian was right. Since last night, I can't keep my hands--or my lips--off him. I've even stopped counting down the hours until he leaves. I'm just going to enjoy this.
Aiden pushes the pieces of my bangs that have fallen out of my ponytail and are blowing in the wind off my face, tucking them behind my ear.
"That was amazing."
"You're amazing, Aiden."
He rubs his thumb across my cheek.
It's a perfect moment.
Soft breeze, brilliant sun warm on our skin, beautiful scenery.
Every part of me wants to tell him. To say it out loud.
And, most of all, for him to know.
But I can't.
I can't do that to him.
So I say I love you, Aiden in my head.
"So, what's next on the list?" he asks.
"Um, write our names in the sand, maybe. And we definitely we need to look for more seashells."