by Godiva Glenn
“It’s a drug. I’ve never used it, but I think the effect is about the same. It’s a stimulant. Gives you energy and makes you more alert, but with a hefty cost.”
“How long until I’m back to normal?”
“You just need to sleep.” She squeezed his side reassuringly. “I didn’t see another option. You needed your strength. I knew it would let you shift and temporarily ignore the wolfsbane in your system.”
He glanced at her. “But it’s still there, and I guess it’s combining with the side effects of the drugs now?”
She nodded. “However, I also used an herbal remedy to counteract with the wolfsbane circulating through the air, and since the oils in the plants are absorbed through the skin, they’re helping to purge the wolfsbane even now.”
He thought back to the slow bath she’d given him. “I’m surprised they allowed you to wash me.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I told them you smelled awful and I couldn’t do what they wanted because of it. It was a half-truth.”
“Clever. Flowers? It had a unique fragrance.”
“Calendula and hawthorn, primarily. They help with blood flow and other things…” She sighed. “I’m just relieved it worked.”
“I’m impressed. Not surprised, though. I knew you were amazing.”
She snorted. “I had no idea where to start. I was out looking for sage for a bath and next thing I knew, I was looking up every plant in our database to see what reacted with what.”
“I didn’t know anything could counter wolfsbane,” he admitted. “I wonder how many lupine are aware.”
“Feel free to spread the word.”
“I can’t speak to them.” His words came out as empty as he felt at the realization. He had no pack and couldn’t join another.
“Why not?”
He stared ahead. “It’s not a story for tonight. Tonight is about celebration. Nearly two weeks of torment but we’re free.”
“Huh?”
“I thought it would feel better to be outside. I guess once the drugs wear off.”
“Yeah,” she agreed softly. “Look.”
Though he’d already been focused on the forest before them, he hadn’t seen the scenery change. He blinked and lights seemed to appear. The end of the trees. But he could barely make it out. Everything was a gentle blur.
She walked him to a tree and leaned him against it. “I’ll be right back, and then you’re going to have a king-size bed and all the room service you could dream of.”
* * * *
The room Sky had ended up finding didn’t have the promised king bed, but it had two queens and a mini fridge, an odd compromise. Kalle didn’t really care. Sky had wrapped him in a blanket, and he’d had enough energy to speed into the room. He’d fallen face first onto a mattress and passed out.
When he came to, he found Sky sleeping on the second bed in front of a laptop. He left her there and slipped into the bathroom for a much-needed shower. His mouth was dry and head still spinning.
If nothing else, the last few weeks of his life had taught him he never wanted drugs ever again.
He stepped beneath the hot water and flinched as it found every patch of raw skin on his body. His wrists and ankles were red and irritated from the chains, as was his neck. They’d heal, he assumed. Once his system was clean, everything would be as good as new. For now, he’d have to deal with the sharp sting of angry flesh.
He didn’t bother with shampoo or soap. He just wanted to soak forever and maybe sweat out the last of the wolfsbane. Nevermind everything else that was going on.
The gorgeous woman sleeping right outside the door, for example, was something he didn’t have the energy to ponder.
They were free to do whatever they wanted now, and though that had been the goal, the implications of that freedom were suddenly immediate and demanding.
Getting out of that hell hole was the dream, but while that dream was coming into fruition, other things had changed. Sky’s touch was lovely, but it didn’t remove the flashbacks of torture. It didn’t take away his nights of cold solitude or the strange dependence he’d come to have on his bucket.
He was a fucking mess, plain and simple, and if he thought he had conflicting emotions before, they were worse after weeks of torture. He wanted revenge now and worried that if Sky tried to stop him, he’d hurt her too. A dark splinter in his heart blamed her for everything, and it didn’t matter that he wanted to hold her and kiss her—the anger was still there.
The notion of running away together had probably served its purpose. It got each of them out of the Wardens’ grasp, sure, but was it sustainable? Was their freedom even real? For all he knew, he’d walk out the bathroom and back into a collar.
Sky was persistent. They trained her. That must mean they themselves were twice as persistent.
He rubbed his tense neck muscles and turned in the shower so that the spray no longer hit his face. The water worked to remove some of the lethargy from his bones, but his internal clock was disoriented as shit. He couldn’t remember. Was the sun up when he’d rolled out of bed?
Worse was that he could usually feel how close a wolf moon was, but his connection with the earth’s magic was missing in action, and the lack was a tangible void in his chest.
His wolf was lurking. Sulking, actually. There was a disconnect there, too. He had no idea what his other half wanted. Once he was back to normal, he had no idea what to expect from the restored balance. Would he be on the verge of madness or had that passed?
The question made him rub his face in frustration. Sky had somehow halted his descent into a feral mess when she’d caught him, and he had no clue how. How could he have promised to stay with her when any moment his situation could change? He’d been stupid to forget that he was a ticking bomb.
Of all the chaos on his plate, shouldn’t his impending insanity be his main concern?
* * * *
The water was icy when Kalle finally abandoned the shower. He was surprised that in all that time, Sky had never knocked. He’d expected she’d wake and need to use the bathroom or something, but he’d had total privacy while he sorted his mess of thoughts.
Sorted was probably the wrong word, though. He’d mostly shoved things into piles then tossed all the piles into the dark corners because he’d grown hungry, and that trumped everything.
He scrubbed himself dry with a rough, white towel and wrapped it around his waist before stepping out into the room.
Sky had been sprawled out on the bed with the laptop and now smiled up at him. “I got food.”
“You read my mind.”
“I’m terrified to ask when the last time you ate was,” she said rolling off the bed. She walked to the table that held a coffee pot and several paper bags. “I didn’t know what you’d want so I got a little of everything.”
The scent of grease and fried everything left him salivating and he snatched up the first bag he saw and simply inhaled. “Did you eat?”
She gestured to a massive Styrofoam cup on the end table by her bed. “Smoothie.”
He arched a brow. “That’s not food.”
“Everything I got is for you.”
He yanked his towel free and draped it over the bed, then tossed all of the food on top of that.
“Kalle?” Sky watched him with a gaping mouth.
“Yes?”
“You’re just going to get naked and eat on the bed?”
“Does that offend you?”
She rolled her eyes and sucked the bottom corner of her lip. After a moment she walked past him and rummaged through a plastic bag he hadn’t noticed.
“I bought you some things. I had to guess your size, but here.” She tossed him a pair of thin pajama pants.
“Fine.” He stepped into them, took a second to acknowledge how soft they were, then climbed into bed with his feast.
He jammed a handful of french fries into his mouth as his other hand sorted through the bags. Several burgers, tacos, and a few
cartons of mystery food.
He lifted a white box that seemed intricately folded around food. “What’s this?”
“Sesame chicken or beef lo mein.” She sat opposite him from the spread and stole a fry.
“And that is?” He peeled open the glossy cardboard and sniffed the contents.
“Chinese food.”
He grinned as vague imagery of the containers flooded him. “I’ve seen this in movies.”
“You’ve never had takeout?” She dug through the bags, pulled out a plastic fork, and handed it to him. “I thought you were acclimated with typical human life.”
He spun the fork in the noodles before spearing a thin slice of meat. “The town next to my pack was small.” Not to mention, they didn’t seem to be fond of different cultures. “On top of that, I was from a different pack originally, where we were encouraged to limit human interaction to the bare necessities.”
“Meaning sex.”
Precisely, but he didn’t bother replying. He shoveled the food into his mouth and could have moaned at the flavor explosion. The beef was sweet and savory and seasoned in a way he had never experienced.
“Oh, sweet ancestors,” he whispered before digging back in.
Sky sighed and went back to the other bed to plop back down in front of the laptop.
“What are you working on?”
She ran a hand along the top of the laptop. “This is Dr. Gregor’s. I had hoped to get solid information out of it, but I can’t crack the password.” She held up one of the notebooks beside her, this one leather-bound and worn. “Years ago, I found this. It’s his but written in a code I’ve never deciphered. I bet I can figure out a key if I could get into his files.”
“What do you hope to find?”
“Answers,” she said vaguely.
He wouldn’t mind a few of those. While he ate, she alternated between tapping away at the keyboard and flipping through several notebooks.
There was no way escaping her cult-like organization was this easy, but he couldn’t take himself away from the food. Lupine could pack away a lot of food, and what she’d brought him was just enough to get him halfway to normal.
As he was unwrapping the last burger, she sipped at her smoothie and came up empty. The unfulfilled slurping made him look over.
“Are you sure you don’t want a bite?”
“I’m fine.” She got up and tossed her empty cup in the trash. “I don’t eat meat.”
“You what?”
“I’ve had a strict diet with the Wardens,” she explained. “Early on it was discovered that meat proteins wreak havoc on my system.”
He glanced at the now cold double patties layered with cheese and droopy lettuce, then back to her. “You can’t be allergic to meat.”
Grabbing the empty wrappers from the bed, she shrugged. The thin paper crinkled in her hands. “It’s not an allergy.”
“What happens?”
“I don’t remember. It’s been forever since it was even an issue.”
He held the burger aloft. “Curious?”
“You need your energy, and I need to not experiment with my stomach. The last thing we need is me to get sick.”
Fair enough. “What’s the plan?”
She tossed the empty bags in the garbage and leaned against the table. Her hair was a tangled mess and she pulled her fingertips through it as she stared at the ceiling. It looked longer than before, or maybe he’d forgotten what she looked like while locked away.
“Well. Thankfully I’ve got enough money saved up to keep us hidden for a few days here. After that? Run? I guess?”
“Why here? Not that I’m against a warm bed at night but won’t they be looking exactly here for us, in the closest town?”
“This isn’t the closest town,” she corrected. “And our training is to either stay in the woods or do sleazy motels if we’re in trouble.” She grinned. “That’s why I got us the nicest available room here.”
“I’m not following.”
“They’re going to get here eventually, but they’ll be looking for us in dive bars and dilapidated inns. They won’t even fathom that I had enough cash to afford a three-hundred a night room with balcony, view, and premium dinner service.” She bit her lip for a second.
Having never stayed in a hotel, Kalle didn’t know the average cost for one but did think the room looked and smelled rather nice. It was certainly big. He took a bite of his burger and got up to check the view she mentioned.
Pulling back the curtain he was blinded by the amount of light the fabric had managed to hide. The sun was high, and squinting into the distance he saw the mountains with a gentle haze of fog around them.
“It’s certainly nice but do you really want to stay here for longer?”
“At least for tonight, yeah. I need a little time to plan. I ditched my phone so they can’t track that. Scents gone. Distance between us. We’ve got a cushion of safety here.”
“It doesn’t feel safe. We’re surrounded by people who could identify us if asked.”
“No one’s seen you. And they would be careful asking directly about us. They’re not exactly on good terms with the police. Granted, it wouldn’t work out for me to go to the cops for help, but nor would they risk lurking around and appearing suspicious so that the cops get called on them.”
Kalle scoffed. “Your authorities wouldn’t protect you?”
She arched a brow. “On what grounds? Do I explain that you’re a lupine and we’re being hunted by people who experiment on lupine?”
He shrugged.
“We don’t need outside help. We have each other.” She looked him over. “Relax. Enjoy the warm showers and soft bed. Take time to recover.”
“I feel fine.”
Joining him at the window, she gazed out with a concerned expression. “Yeah, but you don’t remember everything. Another night, at least, then we can think about leaving.”
“What don’t I remember?” He took another bite of his food.
“The time you lost.” She closed the curtain and looked into his eyes. “You said two weeks.”
“Yeah.”
She flattened her palm onto his chest, right over his heart. “It’s been nearly three months.”
THIRTEEN
Three months. Eyes closed, Kalle recalled carving each passing day into the bucket in his cell. Thirteen scratches. But now that he accepted his knowledge as a lie, memories crept back.
He blinked and avoided Sky’s gaze. He didn’t like what he saw there. Sympathy angered him.
“It didn’t make sense,” he muttered. “I healed in days. It never made sense, but I never thought more of it.”
“You healed fast, but not that—you spent a lot of time under. You’d wake in a daze and it’s like your mind rebooted each time.”
“How do you know that?”
She stopped pacing as she’d been doing throughout her explanation of his time at the Wardens’ mercy. With clear hesitance in her movements, she sat beside him on the leather loveseat in their room. “I would sneak in some nights. I kept the lights off so the cameras couldn’t see me, but I knew you could see fine.”
“I could smell you,” he said recalling his thoughts only days before. “But I don’t remember seeing you. I remember waking and there were traces of your scent. I thought maybe I imagined.”
“Only a handful of times could I get in when you weren’t being actively monitored.” She curled her feet beneath her and watched him. “We spent the last full moon together.”
“Let me guess. I was unconscious.”
“Whatever they thought they could learn about your transformation, they found nothing. They got bored and resorted to tranquilizing you the moment you were full shifted.”
He’d been helpless and he hadn’t even been aware. His wolf chased his tail in the recesses of his mind, carefree. Or careless. “I’m a terrible lupine.”
“Of course you aren’t.”
“I got caught. By you. And
a human. Twice.”
“That doesn’t make you less of anything.”
He stood. “I should go back and take care of the rest of them.”
She threw up her hands and stood with him. “That’s a single group. The organization spans the country. And besides, revenge? Aren’t you better than that?”
“What makes you think that?” he scoffed. “Before all of this, you thought I was worthless. A violent, mindless beast.”
“But you proved me wrong. Lupine are supposed to have honor.” She took his hand in hers and uncurled his fist. “I didn’t believe it then, but clearly the situation has changed. You have honor. The men I worked with did not.” She lowered her voice. “Or have you already forgotten?”
He hadn’t. Recalling her red cheek and the empty expression on her face when she’d first come into his cell only revitalized his fury. “Just another reason to turn them all into red smears.”
“I’d rather walk away. I can’t stop you from going back… rampaging, if that’s your wish, but if you get caught again, you won’t be in a cell. You’ll be dead.” She moved in front of him and her eyes implored him. “You told me we could get away from it. Remember? Start over. You and me.”
“Sky—”
“Revenge? Or me? I know it’s been shit. And maybe I’m crazy to think that whatever we had in that cabin—that brief respite from the world—was real. But honestly, the thought of us being out here is what kept me going.”
He shut his eyes to keep from staring at her. He wanted to believe that something in his life would go right, and it would be with her, but how many times would fate intercept before he accepted the truth?
He didn’t deserve any happiness, just as he hadn’t deserved his pack.
He was born to lead and now what was he? An outcast. A traitor. A prisoner on the run.
“Kalle?” Sky’s voice was high and confused.
He glanced at her with concern just in time for her to collapse in his arms. “Hey!” He shook her. “Sky! What’s wrong?”
He carried her limp body to the bed and set her down gently, checking his palm against her brow and cheeks. She wasn’t warm. Her pulse was fast but strong. Staring down at her filled him with a hopelessness stronger than anything he’d felt yet, and it was enough to shake his wolf from its play. He felt the pressure along his skin as it tried to reach out, as if it could help when he had no clue what had happened.