by L. P. Dover
“What’s so funny?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
She holds up a hand and stands up straight. “I get now why Tanner was so pissed at me.”
That catches me off guard. “At you?”
“Yep,” she replies, nodding her head. “I just wonder why two of the smartest people I know are actually really dumb.”
“Surely, you’re not talking about me.”
I glare at her and it makes her giggle. “I sure as hell am. When my brother called me this morning, I expected to hear how you two had such an amazing night. Instead, he tells me it’s my fault that you two can’t be together.” She walks toward me and shakes her head. “What in the world is that mess? Why is he blaming me?”
Groaning, I close my eyes. “Because I told him we can’t be together.” My eyes burn and I open them, the tears falling down my cheek. I didn’t think I could shed any more. “I don’t want things to come between us. Getting involved with Tanner could complicate things. The last thing I want is you having to pick sides.”
Ellie snorts and looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “Seriously? That’s it? I know how to stay neutral, Soph. You’re my best friend and always will be. If things don’t work out between you and Tanner, I’ll still love you both. Don’t let me be the reason you two stay apart.” Her eyes soften. “He cares about you, Sophie. He always has. That’s why I wanted him to take you to the party in the first place.” Smiling, she places her hands on my shoulders. “You two belong together. He can make you happy. God knows you deserve it.”
I wipe my tears away. “You’re not mad?”
“Hell no,” she replies, grinning wide. “But now that you’re with my brother, I really don’t want to hear all the sexy details. That’s just gross.”
Relief washes through me, but there’s still a sharp pain in my chest. If Ellie’s okay with it, maybe things can work out. “We’re not together, Ellie. He was pissed when he left here.”
She rolls her eyes. “He’ll get over it. All you have to do is call him.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t see the look in his eyes. I think I blew it.”
Ellie hugs me tight. “No, you didn’t. Trust me, Soph. He’s not going to let you go when he’s spent his whole life pining over you. He’d be an outright fool if he did.”
She let me go and I went straight to my phone. I have to tell Tanner I’m sorry. My fingers couldn’t click on his name fast enough. Heart racing, I listen to the phone ring and ring and ring until his voicemail picks up. The pain in my chest grows worse.
“He didn’t answer,” I say, pulling the phone away from my ear.
Ellie nods at it. “Call him again. And again, if you have to. I’ll even do it.” She pulls out her phone and calls him, but he dismisses her too. “He better not be blowing me off,” she says with a huff.
I call him one more time and nothing. Instead of it ringing, it goes directly to voicemail. That either means he’s ignoring me, or his phone is dead. I really hope for the latter. Feeling deflated, I flop down on the couch.
Ellie sits beside me and sighs. “It’ll be okay. Why don’t you call again and leave a message? That way, you can at least tell him how you feel.” She pushes me off the couch and smiles. “I’ll be here watching TV when you get done. We can have a girl’s day.”
That makes me smile. “I’ll be right back.” I leave her in the living room and head straight to my bedroom for privacy. Tanner doesn’t answer when I call again. My heart races as I wait for the beep. Beep. “Hey Tanner, it’s me.” I blow out a sigh. “I don’t know where to start. Guess I should begin by saying I’m sorry. I never should’ve left the way I did, and I never should’ve been scared to tell you how I really feel. I’m assuming you’re ignoring me right now and that’s fine. I get it. Truth is, I care about you, Tanner. Last night was amazing. You make me feel things I never thought possible. I don’t want to let that go. If you would, please call me back. I want this to work.”
Ten
Tanner
There is nothing like the feel of warm sand between your toes, the sound of the ocean crashing toward the shore, and the way the sun basks over your body. This is my happy place and I’m pissed I don’t have my surfboard. After sitting in the sand for an hour, I trudge my way over to the surf shop. I get a few looks from the women lingering around, some in their bikini’s even though the temperature is barely above seventy, others are dressed in long, over-sized sweatshirts, which is more my style.
I hand the surfer dude my credit card and wait for him to give me the paperwork I need to fill out. He’s more entertained by the women hanging around his hut than making a sale, but whatever. I get it. The kid is young, likely in college, and has that shaggy California look about him. I honestly thought I had seen the last of it when I moved back home. The kid tells me to pick my board and mumbles something in surfer slang, which I don’t really get. I never embraced the lingo as part of my life. I’ve always used surfing to destress.
With the board by my side, I stand there, looking out over the surf. I’m not dressed for this, but whatever. I throw the board down and straddle it, staying in the shallow end. What I’m about to do could be dangerous without a wetsuit on. The water is still cold and if I were to wipe out, I have nothing protecting me. I decide to wade, letting the waves push me in and out. It’s whatever, because my mind is stuck on the bullshit with Sophie. I thought for sure after last night, every dream I’ve ever had about her was going to come true. She was finally going to open her eyes and see what and who was in front of her, ready to love her for her. Instead, she put up a fucking cinderblock wall and took my sledgehammer away, preventing me from smashing down the walls to get to her. Some of it I get. Her douchebag ex cheated on her, hurt her. It’s not something I would ever do. The whole “your sister is my best friend” thing I don’t get though. Shouldn’t this make our relationship stronger? Give us a goal to make things always work so Ellie isn’t some middle person in our relationship? Not according to Sophie. Makes me wish I hadn’t wined and dined her or slept with her, although deep down I know those feelings are only masking the fact that I’m desperately in love with her.
I never thought I’d feel this way about a woman. I dreamed about Sophie being mine when I was younger, used to imagine what it would be like to be with her. I even compared the girls I dated in high school and college to her, and rarely dated someone who didn’t look like her in some way. It’s a damn sickness, being so attracted to someone. And now that I’ve finally been with her, felt her in ways I’ve only ever thought about, I don’t know how to turn off my feelings. If anything, she’s magnified them by a million.
Sighing heavily, I dip my hands into the water and paddle out a bit to where my feet are no longer touching the sand. I let the waves push me around, up and down, as I look out over the horizon. There are a few boats out, a couple of water skiers, jet skiers, and a parasailer. People are doing their best to wash away the winter blues, even though it’s not even spring yet. I want a boat, something bigger than the sailboat I have at my house that takes me around the lake. I want something where I take it out for days, live on it, and escape. As I continue to look out, I realize I want Bermuda. It’s out there, waiting for a single guy like me to come visit.
A couple of guys drop their boards next to me and holler as they go by, asking if I’m heading out. I nod but stay put. I’m in no mood to surf, not today. I’m of the mindset where I need to find a dingy bar and drink my sorrows away. That’s just what my parents or sister need, a call from the middle of nowhere to come pick up my drunk ass. Sounds really appealing.
I finally give up and make my way to the shore and take my board back. The same group of women are still by the shed, clearly interested in the kid behind the counter. I give him my board and make sure all the necessary paperwork is signed and my credit card is back in my pocket.
When I get back to my Jeep, I don’t bother looking at my phone. I know Sophie isn’t going to call me an
d I don’t want to see a text or hear a message from Ellie telling me her friend isn’t going to budge. When I left Sophie, I saw it in her eyes, she has no intentions of jeopardizing her relationship with my sister. I should admire her for this quality, but right now I don’t. I want to shake her and tell her to wake the fuck up, but I would never. I’ll tuck tail and do my thing.
On my way back to town, I decide the back roads are going to be my friend. I can keep the top down on the Wrangler and not have to worry about traffic and exhaust from other cars ruining my fun. Except the dingy bar on the side of the road, the one I shouldn’t stop at, is calling my name. I pull off, into the dirt parking lot and park. I don’t hesitate, and grab my wallet and phone, and head into the place.
Grimy, it’s not, but it’s not a three-star joint either. Soft music plays in the dimly lit bar. The female bartender tells me to pick a seat, which is easy because there are only two other people in here. I opt for the fifth stool and tell her I’ll take whatever she has on tap and place my credit card on the bar. She slides a pint in front of me and tells me she’ll start a tab. It’s like she knows I’m not here for one beer, but many.
After I empty the first, I get up and head to the bathroom, where my impression of this place plummets from a low three to a negative ten. There are flies buzzing around my head and it looks like someone had the most explosive situations ever. I have no choice but to hold my breath while I take a piss.
As my luck would have it, as soon as I undue my zipper, my phone falls out of my shorts. I make an ill-fated attempt at trying to catch it—midstream—my little buddy starts flying in every which direction, my hands are fumbling with my device, and I’m trying not to move because who know what the hell I’m going to step in. And just like that, as if my universe is moving in slow motion, my phone flips through the air, mocking the fuck out of me, and lands into the toilet bowl, which looks like it hasn’t been flushed in years. The water is deep dark brown, with caked on . . . no I don’t want to think it. I scream no, but my voice comes out more as an echo, and when it splashes, I use my hands to shield my face, but it’s too late. I’m contaminated.
“What the mother fucking hell!” My phone bobs up and down in a shit infested ceramic bowl. It would seem there are two choices: reach in and grab it or say fuck it and buy a new one. I’m totally saying fuck it.
Except “fuck it” doesn’t describe my entire shituation . . . yep, I’m covered in shit. It’s the only way I can describe whatever the hell is speckled all over my clothes. I look at my fingers and find one that looks clean and stuff my dick back into my pants and leave the disgusting bathroom. I storm back into the bar and demand my tab be closed.
“You know, you might want to have someone clean the bathroom,” I say snarkily as I scribble my name onto the receipt for my three-dollar pint.
The bartender stares at me like I’m an idiot. “You might want to read the ‘out of order’ sign before you enter a bathroom.” Yep, I’m an idiot. Just my fucking luck.
My hand stills but I recover quickly and grab my card. I don’t bother putting in my pocket because right now it’s the only clean thing I have on me. I head outside and riffle through my truck looking for some useable clothing. I find a pair of board shorts, stiff from dried sea salt and drop the shorts and boxers I’m wearing to the ground. No sooner, do I put one foot into my other pair, do I hear sirens.
“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
As soon as I hear the car door slam, I know I’m in for it. Can my day get any worse? I’m sure it can but I don’t fucking care, and swap out my shirt as well.
“Excuse me,” the officer says.
“Hey, officer.”
He stands next to my Jeep and looks inside, probably hoping to find drugs or something, anything to explain why I just showed my bare ass to everyone passing by.
“Are you aware the state of North Carolina has a strict indecent exposure law?”
“No, but I wouldn’t doubt it. I really wasn’t exposing anyone. I had a mishap in the bathroom and needed to get out of my clothes.”
“Why not change in the bathroom?”
“Have you seen the bathroom in this place?” I point toward the door. “It’s why I’m out here changing. I probably have hepatitis or some other disease from the infestation growing inside.”
“Used the wrong bathroom, huh?”
I sigh heavily. “Why not lock the door?”
The officer chuckles. “I’m going to need your driver’s license.”
“Of course.” I bend over and pick up my shorts, flip them upside down and shake the legs until my wallet falls out. I spy it warily while it sits on the dirt ground, looking for any wet spots which might indicate someone’s fecal matter. I use the toe of my shoe to flip it onto its side and repeat my process. Still, I’m not confident it’s clean and search for a rag from the back of my car. After some maneuvering, I finally fish my license out and hand it to the officer, only he doesn’t take it.
“What’s your name?” he asks.
“Tanner Hayes.”
“Address?”
I give him my new address and tell him I moved back from California. He nods, writes everything down and leaves me there, holding my ID between my fingers through the rag. Even he doesn’t want to touch it.
When he comes back, he tells me to have a good day after reminding me not to change my clothes in public again. He also gives me a handful of disinfecting wipes, which makes me want to hug him, but I refrain. After wiping everything down, I’m finally on my way back to town. I drive right to the phone store to get my replacement, but of course, it’s closed. I don’t know how long I sit there, staring at the door, willing the manager to come out and tell me they’re open, but long enough to know I’m losing my freaking mind . . . all over a woman.
Eleven
Sophie
The afternoon turned into night, and the night into morning. Tanner never called back which hurt my heart more than I could’ve ever imagined. Guess that’s my answer from him. I look in my rearview mirror and no amount of makeup can hide my true feelings. I haven’t talked to Ellie yet, but her car is already in the parking lot. It’s time to get to work. I’ll just drown myself in extractions, fillings, and the occasional emergency tooth ache visits.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slow and get out of my car. My patients will start arriving soon and I have to look professional. I walk in through the back door and a couple of my hygienists say their good mornings to me. I say it in return, plastering on a big smile like I always do.
Ellie is in her office when I turn the corner, dressed in the same royal blue scrubs as me, and her eyes widen when she gets a good look at my face. She slides her chair back and stands. “Has he not called you?”
I shake my head. “Has he called you?” I counter.
Her brows furrow. “No. I figured you two made up last night after I left.” She looks down at her phone. “Strange. Usually, he calls me back. I hope he’s okay.”
Now she has me worried. What if something happened to him? The front desk buzzes in my first patient so I back up toward my office which is right beside Ellie’s. “Keep calling him Ellie. I have to know he’s okay.”
She nods and I can see the concern on her face. “I will.”
I try to be optimistic about things, but I really am worried for Tanner. Please let him be okay. Once in my office, I put on a clean lab coat and wrap my ponytail into a neat bun. I look at the schedule on the computer and the day is full. My first patient is Marjorie Thatcher. She’s here for a temporary crown and is known to have a severe gag reflex.
Releasing a heavy sigh, I close my eyes. “Please don’t let her throw up on me.”
A knock sounds on my office door and I turn to see Lexi Hoffman with a big smile on her face. She’s twenty-four-years-old with bright blonde hair and wearing the usual royal blue scrubs like everyone else on Mondays. We all thought it’d be nice to color coordinate, so I let my assistant
s and hygienists come up with a schedule.
“Good morning, Lexi,” I say, returning her smile. “Did you have a good weekend?” She’s the best dental assistant I’ve ever worked with. That’s why I pay her top dollar to stay with me.
Lexi steps into my office. “Sure did. You?”
A laugh escapes my lips, but there’s no humor in it. The night I spent with Tanner was phenomenal, but it all went to shit with my stupidity. “Yes and no,” I reply. Her brows furrow with concern, but I wave her off. “I’m hoping things will get better though. Just waiting on someone to call me back.”
Lexi nods. “Okay. You had me worried there for a second.”
“Is Mrs. Thatcher ready to go?”
She nods again. “Yep. And I have the trash can close by in case she throws up her breakfast. She told me she had eggs, bacon, and three pancakes.”
The thought makes me cringe. I really don’t want to see all that come up. “Great,” I grumble, “just what I need.” I follow her into the hallway, and she turns into the first examination room. Before going inside, I glance over at Ellie’s office and lift my brows when she looks at me. She shrugs and shakes her head, mouthing the word nothing. I can tell she’s really starting to get worried. This isn’t how I wanted to start my day.
Well . . . it turns out I was able to get through Marjorie Thatcher’s crown appointment without her throwing up on me. She gagged a bunch and we had to take breaks, but we got it done. Thank God.
Throughout the morning during my breaks, I checked my phone but there was nothing from Tanner. Inside, I’m conflicted. On one hand, I’m worried something happened to him, especially since he hasn’t returned Ellie’s calls either, but on the other hand, I’m furious. If he really wanted to be with me like he says he does, then why would one misunderstanding turn him away? I just don’t get it.