She Said, Three Said
David B. Lyons
Copyright © 2020 David B. Lyons
The right of David B. Lyons to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance to the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publisher or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
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For Kerry
… as always.
1
They line up to enter the room like school children.
Brian stops in the doorway to wave everyone through as if he’s the conductor of this orchestra. In general, this would be viewed as a polite gesture. But at this stage — five weeks in and with patience stretched — his eleven peers just think he’s acting like a twat.
None of them offer him a thank you. The politest reaction he receives is a twitching of the lips from Number Three as she wheels past him.
Number Ten sits down, then stands immediately back up and walks to the far side of the oval table, settling on a seat next to Number Four.
‘Jee, undecided already?’ Brian says as he enters the room. He chuckles. Nobody else laughs. They’re not in this room to laugh. But spitting out a joke only to be met by silence is nothing new to Brian Hoare.
A lack of humour isn’t the only blemish he has. Hell no! Brian’s unfortunate in a multitude of ways. He’s awful looking for starters. He was bald by the time he was twenty-one. Some guys can carry off a shaved head, not this guy. The top of his crown is too bulbous and the bottom of his head… well, it just doesn’t seem to exist. He has no chin. His jaws just sink into his neck. The overbite doesn’t help either. Nor does his lisp. He produces a squelching sound as if he’s bursting saliva bubbles with his back molars when pronouncing a lot of ‘s’ sounds. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it is quite a harsh squelch when his lisp does take over. He also has really bad breath. He doesn’t know he has; only people who happen to be within a two-foot radius of his mouth know he has. And right now, Number One and Number Eleven are the unfortunate ones within that vicinity.
‘Ah – six-all again,’ Brian says, leaning over to tick his box on the lunch order. He regrets it as soon as he’s said it; is aware he has already overstated his fascination with voting numbers over the course of the past five weeks. This wasn’t the first time he’d counted up the lunch orders and barked the ‘result’ across the table as if it held any sort of significance.
‘Jusht my idea of a bit of humour,’ he whispers to Number Eleven when he sits down. Number Eleven smiles at him sympathetically; not hiding the fact that it’s a sympathy smile either. She kinda just throws the smile at him, hoping it will shut him the fuck up. This lack of respect would sting Brian had he not grown thick skin years ago. You’d have to grow thick skin to be a politician. And you’d certainly have to grow thick skin if you looked like Brian Hoare.
He could’ve compensated for his unfortunate appearance had he developed some sort of personality over his thirty-two years. Aside from his miss-timed jokes, Brian takes himself way too seriously. When Number Four gave birth to the idea that the jurors should be known by their juror number rather than their real names over the course of the trial, Brian just had to be the awkward twat he always seems to be by going against the grain.
Most of the jurors were well aware that this trial would be splashed over the front pages of every national newspaper for weeks on end. Some of them were paranoid about the effect it could have on their lives. When this was all over they just wanted to return to normality; out of reach of the press, out of reach of the public, out of reach of each other.
They took a vote at the time. Nine voted for the use of juror numbers — three against. So they went with it. All except Brian. He opted to scribble his real name on his sticker badge. It sparked a succession of tuts around the table when he first stuck it to his chest, but his flaunting of the first rule the jurors made inside this room was never mentioned again. Nobody wanted to give Brian the satisfaction of having to explain himself.
He would have liked to have shared his reasoning though. His take on it was he didn’t have anonymity anyway. He assumed everyone in the room already knew who he was.
They didn’t.
Far from it.
Before this trial started, only Number Eight recognised Brian Hoare. Brian is a long way away from being as important as he thinks he is. By the time he was twenty-four, Brian made waves within the Labour Party; running for the party’s leadership having shown drive and ambition when helping his hometown of Ongar pull through the financial crisis unscathed. Seventeen separate businesses opened in his small constituency through the crash over a three-year period. Most in Ongar knew he was just a jammy bastard, though. He happened to be in the right place at the right time. The plans for the majority of those businesses were in place well before Brian was elected as local TD.
But Brian wasn’t backward in claiming credit for the successes, gloating about his achievements in the national press at any given opportunity.
The positive PR didn’t go unnoticed by the big wigs in the Dail and suddenly Brian was climbing the ranks of the Labour Party. Though that didn’t mean he wasn’t deluded when he ran the leadership race in 2011. He never stood a chance. After six weeks of bluffing to the press, he eventually fell out of contention. He’s been back in Ongar ever since; half hated, half adored by his constituency and becoming more and more frustrated in his attempts to be re-elected as the local representative. He easily could have been excused from jury duty as of right — being a former politician — but he relishes the prospect of judging too much to pass on such an opportunity.
Brian’s self-delusion was highlighted to his fellow jurors within the first twenty minutes of meeting them. He challenged Number One for the position of Head Juror as soon as they entered this room. In a secret ballot for the position, Number One thrashed Brian eleven-to-one. Everyone shifted awkwardly in their fake leather chairs when it became apparent that Brian was the only person around the table to vote for himself.
As soon as all jurors have taken their seats around the table, Brian is the first to pipe up.
‘I propose we conduct an early verdict vote just to shee—’
‘Scuse me,’ says Number Five, cutting Brian’s sentence in half. ‘You’re not the Head Juror. Let Number One do the
talking.’
Brian rubs at where his chin should be, then motions towards Number One to get the ball rolling.
The trial ended just over ten minutes ago, the judge’s closing statement ringing fresh in their ears, yet they still hadn’t begun deliberations. Ticking a box on the lunch order and finding a seat in the jury room took a hell of a lot longer than was necessary.
‘Okay everybody — this has been a long, drawn out five weeks,’ says Number One after clearing his throat. ‘And it all boils down to our discussion in this room. The fate of those three men lie in our hands.’
‘And hers,’ snaps Number Five.
‘Yes. And Sabrina’s too,’ says Number One, swinging his jaw. ‘I was just about to say that, thank you. I’ve been thinking of the best way for us to approach these deliberations from the get-go and it is my opinion that we should go through the whole night in chronological order. We should start our discussions about what we think happened just gone seven o’clock, when they all first met each other. Then we can continue through to the end of the night… until the incident is believed to have taken place, somewhere between midnight and half-past midnight.’
‘We need to do an early vote,’ Brian calls out, disrupting Number One’s flow.
‘What do we need a vote for?’ Number One asks, his brow furrowing.
The rest of the jury begin to mumble; Number Ten doing nothing to disguise her annoyance by holding her two palms over her face and sighing heavily into them. Number Four holds one finger to the middle of his forehead and stares down into his lap. This kind of body language is standard practice in a jury room. But very rarely before deliberations had even begun.
The jury rooms in Dublin’s Criminal Courts are specifically designed to spark discussion and debate – and they work. Debates arise in here all the time; like ping pong back and forth across the table. But it just so happens that a large percentage of those debates have fuck all to do with the trial they’ve been tasked with examining.
When twelve random strangers are forced together, the chances of no ego making itself known in the room is extremely rare. It turns out that way more people than you would actually imagine love the sound of their own thought process. In fairness to most of them, they are in these rooms to share their thoughts. It’s just that the majority of people placed in this situation don’t know how to filter between a significant thought and an insignificant thought.
‘We need a vote because it’sh important we take note of how we are feeling at every point of the deliberations,’ Brian says, trying to justify himself. ‘It would be beneficial if we all gave our gut instinct after five weeks of listening to the evidensh. The evidensh is fresh in our minds now. Fresher than it will ever be. I propose that it’d be advantageous to us as a jury if we all knew where everybody stood before we even begin deliberating. It’s the besht place to start.’
A mumble of discussion fills the room; a nodding of heads almost running around the table like a Mexican wave. Most of the jurors agree with Brian’s sentiment, but they also loathe to give him the satisfaction of gaining a minor victory. Number One sighs before raising his voice again.
‘Listen… hands up if you think we should start with a verdict vote?’ he asks.
‘Hold on… we’re having a vote about whether or not we’re having a vote?’ says Number Twelve, shaking his head. The delivery of his line produces a snort of laughter from a few around the table. Others just sigh.
Four jurors raise their hands in the hope that it will quicken the process. And then four more swiftly follow.
‘Okay… so that’s eight of twelve. Majority rules. We will have a verdict vote to start proceedings,’ Number One says.
Brian smiles into his chest. His obsession with voting has bordered on fanatical at times. But this isn’t an ordinary vote; it isn’t a lunch order, it isn’t a vote about the jurors’ name tags, it isn’t about electing a Head Juror. This is the real deal — a verdict vote. Brian can’t wait to see what way his fellow jurors have been swayed over the course of this trial. He is dying to know how many agree with him: not guilty. He’d made his mind up half-way through the trial and isn’t for changing. Brian is adamant the prosecution didn’t do enough to prove the case.
‘No need for formalities,’ continues Number One. ‘This will be an open vote. So we’ll just raise our hands. There will be three options for now: guilty, not guilty or undecided.’
Number One takes a deep breath, then bounces the butt of the paperwork he’s holding off the table.
‘Okay… so raise your hand if – at this stage, immediately following the trial — you feel strongly that these three men are guilty.’
Each juror’s head pivots around the room. Three hands fly up; Number Five’s, Number Three’s and Number Six’s. Silence fills the air for a moment, in anticipation of any other hands being raised. None are.
‘Okay, and those who at this early stage feel that the three men are innocent, please raise your hands.’ Brian’s hand shoots up, followed almost reluctantly by Number Twelve’s.
‘And those undecided at present?’ asks Number One, pointlessly. He even proceeds to count the hands in the air aloud, including his own. ‘Okay,’ he says, scribbling down the result on the sheet of paper in front of him. ‘That’s three guilty… two not guilty… seven undecided.’
He coughs, scribbles nonsensical notes on the paper just to bide time and then falls silent again. He doesn’t know where to take things from here.
‘Let’s do what you were gonna do,’ Number Twelve speaks up. ‘Let’s go through the night in chronological order. Starting with when Sabrina first bumped into the three lads… or when the three lads first bumped into her — depending on who you believe.’
‘Yeah – there’s disagreement from the outset,’ says Number Ten. ‘Sabrina says the three guys approached her first. They claim she approached them. Who do we all believe made the first move?’
19:00
Sabrina
I tug at the V in my jumpsuit again, adjusting it for what must be the fiftieth time since I left my apartment half-an-hour ago. I don’t know why. My breasts aren’t going to fall out. But because it’s cut so low, almost down to my belly button, my eyes are constantly catching the end of the V and I instinctively keep running my thumb under the fabric to pull the two sides tighter together.
It’s a beautiful jumpsuit, but I really don’t feel comfortable in it. It’s making me feel too self-conscious. I’m normally self-conscious, but particularly so this evening. Perhaps I overdid it, especially for this place. I’ve never been to the Hairy Lemon before; assumed it was a bit classier than it actually is. It’s just a basic old-school after-work inner-city pub; after work for everyone else in here, the beginning of work for me.
‘You do a non-alcoholic wine?’ I shout over the other voices to the barman.
He bends down, pops his head back up in a matter of seconds, holding a small bottle of Ebony either side of his face.
‘The red, please.’
‘You alone?’ a boy-cum-man asks, squeezing behind a girl at the bar so he can talk to me.
‘I am,’ I reply, ‘but not for long. Sorry.’
He trundles away, his head bowed. It’s tough for men. What are they supposed to say when they see girls in a bar they find attractive? Where would you even begin? I’ve heard it all over the years; from cheesy one-liners to outright advances. None of it works. Certainly not with me. There’s just an unnatural chemistry that ignites as soon as somebody attempts a chat up line. It makes the process unattractive. Chat up lines are cheesy. Cheesy is uncool. Uncool is unattractive. Or maybe I’m just a fussy bitch. Probably why I’ve only ever had one-and-a-half boyfriends my whole life.
I hand over the five-euro the barman asks for, pick up my glass of red and make my way towards the stairs, slaloming through a host of bodies as I take my first sip. This place is pretty much packed. It’s not going to be easy to locate my target tonight.
When
I reach the top of the stairs I check my phone. Still no text message. But it’ll come through soon enough. It always does.
I soak in the atmosphere. Most people in here likely arrived just gone five o’clock, as soon as their working week ended. They’re all out for fun. But I don’t envy them. Not at all. The idea of being cooped up in an office all week doesn’t sit right with me. Never has. I can’t understand why that’s the route most people in this city take to earn money. It seems like slave work to me; working forty hours a week to make somebody else rich. How does that even make sense? I guess it’s just routine, tradition, conditioning. Everybody feels they have to have a career and rather than thinking outside the box, they all just do as their parents did: work for somebody else.
It’s a real shame. Though I do sometimes feel that if I wasn’t genetically blessed I’d probably have to join everybody else in that rat race too. I don’t earn an awful lot of money — a modest amount, enough to keep fresh food in the kitchen and a roof over my head. But I guess I’m as happy as I’ve ever been. I’m managing to stave away my depression most days — and that’s probably as good as I can ever do. There are times when I feel down, but I don’t feel as lost in life as I have done in the past. There’s a tiny glimmer of light at the end of my tunnel. I just have to fixate on it, keep walking towards it.
I pull at the V again as I reach the top of the stairs; noticing a man stare me up and down, licking his lips in appreciation. I’ve never fully known for certain whether men lack subtly in these situations or whether they genuinely just don’t give a shit about getting caught staring. I don’t even laugh when I clock the wedding ring on his finger and watch him stroll over to a table on the far side of the room, kissing a girl I hope is his wife. She’s pretty — certainly better looking than him. He should count himself lucky. He doesn’t need to be perving at me.
She Said, Three Said Page 1