by L A Cotton
First eBook Edition
Copyright © L A Cotton 2019
All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.
If you are reading a copy of this book that has not been purchased from a licensed retailer, please destroy it. Thank you for your support.
Edited by Andrea M Long
Cover Designed by Lianne Cotton
Images licensed from Adobe Stock and Shutterstock
Also by L. A. Cotton
Black Hearts Still Beat
Rush
Rise (Coming Soon)
Rule: The Finale (Coming Soon)
Chastity Falls
Loyalty and Lies
Salvation and Secrets
Tribulation and Truths
Affliction
Redemption and Regrets
Penance and Promises
Absolution
Fate's Love
Fate's Love
Love's Spark
Love Collides
Liar Liar
Liar Liar
Truth or Dare
Rixon Raiders
The Trouble With You
The Game You Play
The Harder You Fall
The Maverick Defense Series
Deliverance
Wicked Bay
Wicked Beginnings
Wicked Rules
Wicked Lies
Wicked Games
Wicked Needs
Wicked Surprise
Wicked Hearts
Wicked Promises
Wicked Truths
Wicked Forever (Coming Soon)
Standalone
Lucky Penny
Chastity Falls: Box Set
Watch for more at L. A. Cotton’s site.
Table of Contents
Copyright Page
Also By L. A. Cotton
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Epilogue
About the Author
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Further Reading: The Trouble With You
Also By L. A. Cotton
Chapter 1
Vinnie
I slammed the taxicab door shut and inhaled a deep breath. It was hot, humid, and I wanted nothing more than to take a long, cold shower and then fall into bed. But before I could contemplate going around the back and sneaking up to my room, the front door swung open and my brother’s voice filled the air.
“You came,” he said flatly. Looking at him, I noted the dark circles ringing his eyes.
“Of course I fucking came,” I let out a deep sigh, dragging a hand through my damp hair.
Shaun looked ready to blow, but then all the anger melted away replaced with pure grief. “He’s gone, Vin. I can’t believe he’s gone.” I caught my younger brother just as he fell into my arms.
“It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay,” I said the words because that’s what people did when someone they loved was hurting. But the truth was, I had no fucking idea if everything would be okay. Just last week, Dad had been here. He would have known what to do in a time like this. He was always a man with a plan. The patriarch of our family.
And now he was gone.
Pain ripped through me as I clung onto my brother unsure who was holding who up.
I had a lot of regrets.
Things I wished I’d have done differently.
But standing there, on my family’s doorstep, ready to say goodbye to one of the best men I’d ever known, was one of the worst moments of my life.
And there had been a few.
“Come on,” I said, hooking my arm around Shaun’s neck, the way I used to when we were just boys. “I’d better go see Mom.”
“I WASN’T SURE IF YOU’D make it,” were the first words my mom had spoken to me in months except for the odd text and email to ‘check in’.
“Mom, come on, please...” I set my bag on the counter and went to her. “I’m so sorry.”
“Oh, Vincent.” Tears rolled down her cheeks. “He’s gone; he’s really gone.”
I fell into her awaiting arms, taking comfort from the woman who had given me life. There had been a time when she was my whole world. When there was nothing I wouldn’t do for Maisie Ford. But somewhere over the last couple of years we’d lost our way.
And it was all my fault.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Vincent Jerome Ford.” I felt her smile against my shoulder.
“He went quickly?” I managed to choke out the words, meeting her weary gaze.
“He did.” Mom sniffled, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I should have been here.”
“Now don’t go doing that. He wasn’t sick. There were no warning signs.”
Still, I should have been here. Like I was always supposed to be.
My eyes darted to the floor, guilt cracking my chest wide open.
“Vincent, look at me.”
I lifted my head slowly, hardly able to stand her looking at me like that. “I know things weren’t good between the two of you, but your father wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. You know that was never his way.”
Suppressing the urge to punch something, I circled my fist into my thigh and gave Mom a tight nod. “Where’s Lucii?”
“She and Jason have taken Matilda to the park. I think all the sadness is making her grouchy.”
“Who, Luce?”
“Matilda.” Mom managed a small smile. “That little girl is wise beyond her years.”
Another rope of guilt wrapped around my heart, squeezing. “She’s getting big,” I said. At least, the photos my sister sent me suggested she was.
Mom’s hand found mine. “You have time to make things right, Son. We’ve missed you, more than you know.”
The chime of the doorbell cut through the tension and Mom sniffled again, dabbing her face and straightening her blouse. “That’ll be Teresa, she’s helping me sort through things.”
Dread slithered up my spine. Shaun caught my eye and frowned. “How about me and you get out of here?” he said. “I could use some air.”
“Sounds good,” I replied.
“Vincent, you don’t have to—”
“It’s fine, Mom.” I kissed her cheek. “We’ll see you later, okay?”
“No bars, please. I don’t want to have to deal with two drunken sons later.” She cut Shaun with a scathing look and it was my turn to frown. He rolled his eyes.
“I’ll meet you outside. We can take my car.” Shaun stalked out of the kitchen leaving me and Mom alone.
“How is he doing? Really?”
“It’s been a tough few months for him. First Kara, now your father.” The words caught in her throat. “It’ll do him good to have you around for a little while.”
When I didn’t reply, Mom added, “You are planning on staying for a while, aren’t you? Lucii said—”
“I took a couple of weeks leave. Jerry said I can extend it if necessary.” But I didn’t know if that was a good idea, all things consi
dered.
“Two weeks. I see.” Disappointment clouded her eyes.
“Mom, come on, I—”
The doorbell rang again, and Mom jerked. “I really should get that. I know Teresa would love to—”
But I was already heading for the back door. “I’ll see you later, Mom,” I called, desperate to make my escape.
“SO,” MY BROTHER SAID, turning the bottle in his hand. “Is it weird being back?”
“Honestly? Yeah.” Wicked Bay was my home, always would be, but I hadn’t stepped foot in the place in almost two years.
“It sucks, man. When you left, I didn’t think you’d really be leaving, like for good. I still can’t—”
“Come on, Shaun. You know how everything went down. I couldn’t stay here. Not after... I just couldn’t.”
“Have you spoken to her?”
“Is that a joke?” I gawked at him.
“She was your best friend.”
“And she chose him. What was I supposed to do? Sit back and watch while they lived happily after ever? I’m strong but I’m not a fucking saint.” I’d spent ten years loving Maggie Stark. Half my life wasted loving a girl who would never love me back. Because while I saw her, she only saw my best friend, Rob. It hadn’t been such a problem growing up. We were kids and us being best friends was more important than anything else. But as we got older everything began to unravel.
“You walked away. You didn’t fight—”
“Don’t fucking tell me I didn’t fight.” I slammed my hand down on the table, inhaling a ragged breath. “I fought, Shaun. I did. For years I tried to get her to see me. Instead of...” I couldn’t even say his name. “But eventually, you have to walk away.”
“You know she’ll be at the funeral, right?”
Of course I fucking knew. Our parents were good friends. Maggie’s mom was over at our house right now helping Mom deal. It’s another reason I left. Maybe I could have stuck around if I could have avoided her. But it was impossible when our families were so deeply entwined. Birthdays, celebrations, even funerals always brought the Starks and Fords together. So when Maggie finally chose Rob, I left. I was supposed to graduate UCLA, move home, and start at my old man’s company. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be here and watch them together.
So I walked away. Took a job in LA at the company I’d interned at the summer of sophomore year. Moved in with a couple of friends who were sticking around and made a life for myself. It wasn’t the life I’d imagined, but it was better than the living nightmare staying in Wicked Bay would have been.
Dad never forgave me, not really. And Mom, well, she tried to smooth things over. But none of that mattered now. Dad was gone, and with him any shot at forgiveness.
“How are things, Shaun, really?”
“Is that a fucking joke? Kara’s gone. Dad’s gone. I just... I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel right now.”
“Shaun?” A female voice said, and I looked up to find Macey Prince staring down at us.
“Macey?” He blinked up at her.
“I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry.”
Shaun stood up and accepted her offer of comfort. I hadn’t seen Macey in years. We’d been set up on a date once, my brother’s attempt at trying to get me to see girls besides Maggie. But there never was anyone else for me.
Still wasn’t.
Except, she was never mine to have.
To love.
Shit. I needed to pull myself together.
“Vinnie?” Macey turned her attention to me. “I almost didn’t recognize you.”
“Hey, yeah, it’s been a while.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” She smiled. “This is Devon, my boyfriend.”
“Fiancé, I’m her fiancé, but it would seem it’s taking a little getting used to.” He pulled Macey back into his chest. “Hey, man, it’s nice to meet you.” He held out his hand, and I took it. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks,” Shaun said. “Are you back in town permanently or is it just a flying visit?”
“Mom wanted to celebrate graduation but we’re not in town long.”
“Well it was good seeing you again.”
“You too.” Macey hesitated. “And I’m sorry about Kara. What she did was a real shitty thing.”
“Yeah.” My brother cleared his throat, smothering the emotion in his voice.
They left us to it and Shaun sank into his chair, letting out a pained breath. “Maybe we should have just stayed home.”
“And listen to Mom and Teresa? No thanks.” I took a long pull on my beer.
“What do you think you’ll do now?”
“My life’s in LA, bro, you know that.” It hadn’t been easy at first, leaving my family behind, my friends. But I soon found a routine. Work kept me busy and I had a good circle of friends. I was happy. Well, as happy as I could be given the circumstances. But it always felt like something was missing. A Maggie-shaped hole in my heart. A hole that no other girl had ever come close to filling.
“Maybe I could move in with you for a while? I think a break might do me good.”
“For real?” I asked. “You want to leave the Bay?”
He shrugged, eyes focused on his bottle. “Wicked Bay will always be home, but after Kara...”
“I get it, I do. And you know my door is always open. But before you make any decisions, promise me you’ll talk to mom first. She already lost one son. If you leave it might tip her over the edge.”
“Nah, she has Lucii and Matilda to keep her occupied. It’s been different since Tilly was born.” Silence settled over us and then Shaun said, “I don’t think I’m ready for tomorrow.”
“We’ll get through it together, okay?”
He gave me a tight nod, unshed tears glossing his eyes. “I’m glad you’re back, Vin.”
I wanted to tell him I felt the same; that coming back here was long overdue. But it would have been a lie. The knot in my stomach had done nothing but twist and tighten ever since stepping foot out of the cab.
Downing the rest of my beer, I slammed it down and said, “Come on, we should head home. I don’t want to end up on Mom’s shit list the first day I’m back in town.” I rose, waiting for Shaun to follow.
“Hey, before we go,” Shaun grabbed my arm, “There’s probably something you should know...”
“Yeah?” I glanced at him. And then he said two words that spun my world.
“Rob left.”
Chapter 2
Vinnie
Two years ago
“You did it,” Maggie beamed, yanking me into her arms. But I counteracted her move, scooping her up and spinning her around. Her laughter filled the air as she begged me to put her down.
“You’re making a scene,” she said through a goofy smile.
“I’ll do whatever the hell I want.” I winked at her.
“I’m proud of you, Vinnie.” Her eyes softened as she stared at me, sending my heart into free-fall. She was so fucking beautiful. Long dark hair cascaded over her shoulders in loose waves. Big brown eyes that saw straight into my soul. And she had a body that I knew almost as well as my own. But not in all the ways you want, a little voice whispered.
I shut it down. Today was not the day to go there. Not when—
“Ahh there he is. The man of the hour.” Rob strolled up to us without a care in the world. “Sorry I’m late.”
Maggie’s gaze immediately went to him, lighting up in a way it didn’t for me.
Fuck, it hurt.
Even after all this time, it hurt just as bad it had the first time I’d realized she had a thing for my best friend.
“Congratulations.” He pulled me in for a guy hug. “We’re celebrating, right? Please tell me we’re celebrating?”
The corner of my mouth tipped as I looked from him to Maggie. “It’s your call,” I said. I would have been happy with a quiet dinner and drinks. But Rob loved a party.
“We’re celebrating,” Maggie confirmed, h
er eyes lingering on me for a second longer than usual. But I knew my mind was playing tricks on me. Because while I couldn’t imagine not celebrating with them, I knew it’d be a repeat of our usual nights out. Me pining after Maggie. Her staring at Rob with stars in her eyes. And him drunk, oblivious, and hitting on some random chick.
MY HEAD THROBBED AS I sat up, trying to get my bearings. Fuck. How much had I drank last night? I vaguely remembered shots with Maggie and Rob. More shots. Celebrating my graduation, toasting the future. Man, I’d really gone to town, trying to pluck up the courage to tell Maggie how I felt. Especially after Rob made it clear he wasn’t interested. What a fucking threesome we were.
I wanted Maggie; had for as long as I could remember. But she wanted Rob, getting that dreamy look in her eyes whenever he came around. And Rob? He just wanted to sow his wild oats in anything and everything.
Managing to stand up, I rubbed my face as I tried to get my bearings. It wasn’t my room that was for sure. As the hangover slowly abated, I realized I was in Rob’s guest room. His mom had a thing for florals. It was everywhere. On the bed linen, the curtains; she’d even gotten Rob’s dad to wallpaper the walls in some floral shit.
Smiling, I padded into the hall in search of coffee and Advil. Maybe it was the fact something had felt different last night between me and Maggie. I had hazy memories of an almost kiss. Her curled into my side as we watched Rob make an ass of himself at karaoke. And since Rob had declared himself one hundred percent out of the game where she was concerned, I was going to do it.
I was going to confess; lay all my cards on the table and hope she gave us a chance. I knew we could be good together. We were best friends; the kind who had no secrets, only a life’s worth of memories and experience. A solid foundation to build on.
I just had to make her see it.
As I helped myself to coffee, determination coursed through me. A renewed sense of hope. I’d watched Maggie pine after Rob since we were kids. But he was never going to man up and see what was right in front of him. He wasn’t wired that way.