He saw another man fuck whatever was left of his horse’s corpse. The man was frothing at his mouth and screaming obscenities into the night. Pradeep saw women kicking their children and giggling together.
The night was alive. Everything was wonderful. Everything was perfect. The world was beautiful. Pradeep felt sane for the first time since the End Age had begun. He could feel his blood rush to his groin.
Pradeep reviled in everything around him. His lips stretched into a wide smile beneath his bandages.
Roy was speeding down the road. Dry leaves and beverage cans littered the path. Roy was thankful that the road was abandoned. The usual sight that one was welcomed to on the roads these days was that of littered dead bodies, sometimes burnt and charred. One should be thankful to find them burnt. Burnt is good. Otherwise one had to look into those eerie rotting white eyes and blood-soaked mouths and faces.
The dead bodies and purge victims were sure to take the sanest of minds to places filled with dark thoughts, but Roy’s mind was not there. It was somewhere darker. He strongly twisted the throttle, accelerating the bike dangerously to its maximum speed. He had to get to his destination at the earliest.
He had started riding the moment he had heard the news on his portable radio. The mothers were disappearing. He remembered the smile that had brightened him two months ago when he had received the call from his sister Ananya. Apparently, he was going to be an uncle. But those were times before the End Age. Times of phone calls and happy news. Now there were no more phone calls and any news was simply bad at best and numbingly horrifying at worst.
He always had a close-knit family and his sister had always been his pillar of strength. She was his best friend even before he learnt what friendship meant. There hadn’t been any major decision in his life that he had taken without her kind advice and there was no moment in his life up until the End Age’s arrival that he had ever failed to stay in touch with her.
If there was one thing that he missed most from the pre–End Age times, it was the regular little chats he used to have with his sister. She and his brother–in–law Sanjay had never failed to brighten up his life even in his darkest moments. When the communication systems started to go down, they tried everything within their means to stay in touch, but after the first two weeks it was impossible for any individual communication. Only communication was the rare radio frequencies run by tech savvy adventurers and volunteers.
He was almost there. The wind and dust parched his face after the 14-hour long drive. He swerved the bike into a sharp right from the abandoned main road into the street. He prayed harder than ever that his sister should be ok.
He didn’t care what was happening. He would find out a way to stop it and then he would fight all of his life if need be to stop it. He could see his sister’s house approaching. His frantic eyes searched for any signs of Ananya. His heart skipped a beat when he spotted his brother-in-law sitting on the footsteps outside the gate, his head held in his hands.
Roy braked hard and got off his bike. He didn’t even bother to switch it off and park it. The bike screeched and fell to the ground, skidding to a halt. He ran up to his brother in law- almost tripping on his way. He caught Sanjay by his shoulders and shook him.
“Is she all right?” he asked, “Where is she?”
Sanjay shook his head. Tears were streaming down his face.
“Roy, it happened right in front of me. One moment she was standing there smiling at me –and then …” he sobbed.
“She’s gone Roy. She’s fucking gone.”
Roy crashed down beside Sanjay.
“No! There’s got to be a way,” he said. “There’s got to be a way. You must do something,” he sobbed, grabbing Sanjay by the collar.
Sanjay pushed him away.
“You lost your sister. You have any idea what I have lost?” Sanjay screamed. “My wife and my unborn child. Do not lecture me on what I have to do. You have no idea how it feels.”
Roy was taken aback for a moment. He had never seen his brother-in-law like this. Sanjay had always been a gentle and kind soul. Something definitely was broken inside him.
“I am tired of this world, Roy. I am goddamn tired.”
Roy remained calm for a moment, wiped his tears off his face, stood up and offered Sanjay his hand.
“I’ll find a way to bring her back, Sanjay. I will go to Area Zero if need be.”
Sanjay took his hand, got up and sighed. He shook his head and walked back into the house. Roy followed him in.
They both sat on the sofa, both teary-eyed and worn out. Roy went in, washed his face and hands and returned.
“You know how much I loved your sister?” Sanjay said.
Roy nodded in silence. Now was not the time for words.
“I didn’t actually realize it until the whole world went to hell…you know?” Sanjay said. “How much I loved her. And how much I loved our child –” he continued. “I would have done anything to save them if I could.”
“We will, Sanjay. We will,” Roy said.
Sanjay looked exhausted. His eyes were hollow and red from all the crying. Clearly, he hadn’t been sleeping a lot either.
“I definitely will find her, Roy. Sooner or later. She is the only thing that kept me sane through all this,” Sanjay said, his eyes drooping.
“When was the last time you slept?” Roy had to ask.
“Don’t remember. Must have been a couple of days,” Sanjay said.
His speech was now slurring. Maybe finally having someone to talk to had given him enough comfort to sleep– Roy thought as Sanjay started slowly drifting off to sleep.
“I can’t sleep. Nightmares –of losing her… purges…the baby.”
He was not making sense anymore. The sentences were gone. Only words and phrases.
He spoke for a couple of minutes in broken sentences and fragmented phrases.
“Find her…Roy, you should –I…find her,” he muttered before finally succumbing to the sweet escape of sleep.
Roy felt relieved that Sanjay was actually sleeping now. Roy had to find his sister but right now he had to make sure Sanjay was fine. Sanjay had been through a lot of trauma in such a short time. Roy felt ashamed for a moment for his own insensitivity towards Sanjay’s plight. Roy had no idea when he himself slowly drifted off to sleep. The long ride and the emotional trauma had tired him more than he knew.
Roy woke up late into next morning with a slight headache, sore arms and legs. The house was illuminated brightly by the sunlight. He rubbed his eyes and cracked his sore neck. He couldn’t find Sanjay on the sofa. Clearly Sanjay was a better morning person than himself –he thought. He got up and stretched. The events of the previous day suddenly all came back to him and he immediately crashed down back on the sofa. His sister really was gone.
Poor Sanjay. What must he be up to? He thought.
“Sanjay!” he called out.
There wasn’t any reply. He might have gone out. But for what? There weren’t any supplies nearby that they need. He finally got up and walked into the bedroom to look for Sanjay.
And he found him. Hanging from the ceiling fan. A noose ran around his neck. On the floor was a note.
On it, in shaky handwriting was scribbled –
‘Maybe this is the best way to ever meet them again.’
Pradeep was back in the tent allocated to him and Veda. He was sweating uncontrollably. Panic gripped his heart.
“Something’s wrong!” he was screaming, shaking Veda by her shoulders. He vaguely remembered being ecstatic just a few hours back. Now things looked different.
“Something’s horribly wrong!” his voice shook. “The things I have seen –they are…we are…something’s wrong, Veda! I don’t know what it is anymore. I am not able to think straight. I think I am going crazy.”
“Shhh, Pradeep. Everything’s fine,” Veda consoled him with a kiss. “Everything’s perfect, dear. Everyone is happy.”
Pradeep shook his hea
d. The anxiety and the guilt are back again.
“You said you had a bad feeling about this. I think I see that now.”
“I was wrong, Pradeep,” Veda said. “You are just shaken by that purge. We are safe. The Purge Walker will take care of us.”
She’s right, a voice in his head said. Don’t be paranoid. The Purge Walker will take care of us.
He could feel his panic go down a few notches. But the sense of unease remained, as if he had just woken up from a nightmare and couldn’t remember what upset him so much.
The entrance to their tent was pushed aside and the bearded Sinner entered and looked at Pradeep.
“Boss wants to see you now,” he said.
“Go now! Everything’s going to be fine,” Veda told Pradeep.
Pradeep nodded silently and followed the man. Something inside him was urging him to stay. To not the follow the man into the tent at the centre of this strange camp where everything was horrible yet ecstatic –gruesome yet beautiful –wrong yet absolutely right. He didn’t listen to it. The man stopped outside the tent. Pradeep slowly pushed the entrance flap aside and walked inside.
And there he sat –the Purge Walker; on a large chair circled by his boars. His eyes shone with wit and mischief as if they held a secret. He smiled. That annoying voice of caution inside Pradeep had become mute. The unease was gone in an instant.
“Welcome, Pradeep,” the Nameless One said. “Have a seat.”
Pradeep sat down on a chair facing him.
“How are you?” the leader asked. His voice melted in Pradeep’s ears.
Pradeep hesitated for a moment.
“Perfect!” he replied.
The inside of the tent looked dark yet safe. There was a small table built of wood and scrap metal. On it was an assortment of things, both mundane and exotic. A blood stained machete, a syringe, some broken skulls, a whip, some torn books, something that looked like a jelly, a couple of old knives, a horse saddle and a matchbox.
“You know, I have been watching you for quite some time now,” the leader said.
“I don’t understand,” Pradeep said as the boars growled.
“You will, soon,” the Nameless One got up and walked up to the table.
Everything about him was perfect; the way he spoke, the way he walked. Pradeep watched as he picked up a small knife. The leader turned back, smiled at Pradeep and to Pradeep’s shock, cut his own right palm. Pradeep flinched but didn’t move. It wasn’t a superficial cut either. Pradeep could see the wound go deep. Blood poured down quickly turning his entire palm red. He kept smiling and nonchalantly picked up a broken skull from the table. Pradeep now realized that its top was cut off at the forehead to make a bony cup. The Purge Walker gently and carefully placed his palm on top of the skull and filled it with his own blood.
“Here you go!” The leader offered the skull to Pradeep. “Drink up!”
Pradeep awkwardly held the yellowing skull in his hands and looked into it. The dark red liquid splashed and sloshed inside. A voice was screaming inside him that it was a terrible idea. He then looked up and asked the one question that had been burning him from inside since he had come upon the camp.
“Who are you?”
The Purge Walker walked up to him and crouched in front of him. “Tell me, Pradeep. Do you believe in Gods?”
Pradeep shook his head. He didn’t understand how it mattered though.
The Purge Walker held up his hand, facing his palm towards Pradeep. Pradeep couldn’t believe his eyes. The wound had already closed cleanly. All that indicated that there had been a cut was a gentle scar that seemed to lighten with each moment.
“How would you like to lose those bandages?” the leader asked and touched Pradeep’s forehead with his hand.
Pradeep winced and gasped as there was a moment of intense pain which was followed by perfect peace. The pain was completely gone now. The leader then slowly unwrapped Pradeep’s bandages, so that his mouth was exposed.
“Drink now,” the Purge Walker insisted. The screaming voice inside him slowly drowned into silence brought upon by the Nameless One’s stare. Pradeep obeyed.
He took a quick gulp. It was warm. It warmed his insides as it travelled south. He could sense his mind opening up like a blossoming flower now. A sense of splendid euphoria filled him as the leader began to talk.
“You will know who I am, Pradeep. Great men do describe themselves a lot. Krishna described himself in Gita quite clearly, don’t you think?” His hands moved gracefully as he spoke, arresting Pradeep's eyes.
There was a class that was almost supernatural.
Almost perfect.
Almost divine.
“That's the gig of the Gods, isn’t it? They get books written about them and songs sung about them and sometimes they themselves sing about themselves. Don’t you think that's a little too narcissistic and self–obsessed?” his drawling, deep, smooth and hypnotic voice paused.
“Me? I and my kind do not get to represent ourselves. No books are written about us. No songs are sung in our praise,” he paused. “But today I will tell you who I am.”
And he began.
“I am the end of the beginning of all consciousness.
Of lights, I am the setting sun and among the stars, I am the ones that are dying.
Of the thoughts, I am the corrupt and among feelings, I am envy.
Of the senses, I am the flesh and of beings, I am the Asura.
Of water bodies, I am the unmoving stagnant lake and of gases, I am the poisonous.
Of the weapons, I am cruel words and of serpents, I am Vritra.
Among beasts, I am the boar. Among the reptiles, I am the snake and among the birds, I am the vulture, the cold scavenger of death.
Among punishments, I am heartbreak and among the joys, I am sadism.
Of the things that move quickly, I am disease and among things that move slowly, I am pain.
I am your own shadow in your nightmares. I am the authoritative, unflinching order in creativity and I am the insanity among the rationales. Among religions, I am fundamentalism and among revolutions, I am terrorism.
More importantly among human race I am YOU...each and every one of you.
I have many names and many people who call me by these many names. From the dawn of humanity and its wretchedness, I have been many people and many things through the generations.
Sometimes in a generation, I am more than a single person. I could have been Hitler and also Rasputin. I could have been your neighbouring wife–beater or that lingering thought in your friend’s head that would drive him to suicide. I am also that doubt you harbour on your partner and the despair that you hold ever so dearly in your heart. I am in the heated fights about cricket matches and in the riots people participate in to decide whose divine master is better and who make better slaves.
I am that minute part of pure love that poisons it into scathing possessiveness and I am also that shimmering presence in fame that quickly and silently turns it into overwhelming pride.
There definitely are Gods, Pradeep and I am the one whom your stupid ass God is trying to kill.”
And Pradeep knew deep within him who the man facing him was before he even spoke those final words, “I am Kali, the king of indulgence, the ruler of this Iron Age”
CONQUEST
как kalih kutra va jato
]agatam isvarah prabhuh
katham vd nitya dharmasya
vinasah kalina krtah
(Who is Kali? Where was he born? How did he become the master of the world? How does he destroy the observance of eternal religious principles?)
Eons before the first seeds of life were ever sown upon the Earth, before single-celled organisms started swimming in the primordial ooze of this nascent planet, there was an event of proportions unimaginable. An event that brought together beings of opposite temperaments and natures. The milking of an ocean.
The great serpent Vasuki's long scaly body and the high Mount M
andara lend themselves as tools for this act of extraction with the giant turtle which was one of the forms of the many–formed blue God. Churned by the both the Gods and demons of the old world, the ocean of milk bore many gifts which would benefit the worlds, both old and young.
But not all gifts come free.
Along with the pure gifts, rose an impure darkness from the depths of the milky ocean, a corruption that sought to engulf the world. The shadowy poison that emerged, threatened the very fabric of the reality and the life within it. And it was upon the three–eyed God of destruction to stop this epidemic from spreading.
This mountain God of the undead and the graveyards then consumed the darkness, and held it in his throat for all eternity, turning his throat a lifeless blue. But before the three–eyed God consumed and contained it, the three-headed old God of creation tasted a pinch of the wicked poison, unaware of its cosmic wretchedness, but then immediately spat it out, realizing the vileness of the corruption. But alas, it was the God of creation who spat it out and whatever the force of creation spews forth is life in itself. And so, the glob of spit of this dark corruption gained a life of its own. A creature made whole by the unholy mixture of the power of creation and the power of corruption.
This being, more powerful than both the Gods and demons grew among the womb of stars for eons until the time was right and the age was ripe. And then it descended from the cosmos to the young world of humans to lay claim to its own age. Thus began the reign of this creature called Kali and so began its age – the wicked Kaliyuga.
The Librarian’s eyes rolled back in. The dream had ended or it had rather receded back to where it had come from. The Librarian blinked rapidly –more so than usual that even he had felt it to be unnatural. But everything was unnatural about what he had just seen. It was finally shown to him.
Sinners- The Dawn Of Kalki Page 20