by J. M. Dabney
Another one of those selfless things where Camden thought about everyone but himself especially children that hadn’t even been thought about.
“Eric, I’m fine, I can see your brain working. Eat your dinner. Nothing is wrong.”
“Okay.”
He agreed but didn’t believe him. It was there in his pale green eyes and the stiff set of his shoulders. They’d talk about it later when their mama wasn’t there. The conversation that followed was lighter. About the trips their mama had coming up. How work was going for them. Stories about the crews and catching their mama up with the latest gossip. It was fun with no pressure. Still, their mama might not notice, but when he met Saint’s gaze, he knew his twin noticed it too. They’d make everything right—it was what Camden deserved.
Seventeen
Their Future
As much as he loved his mama, it was nice to have the house back to just the three of them. Sin was stripping the bed in the room their mama used, and he was cleaning the kitchen from lunch. Camden hadn’t been around a lot. Whatever was going on was serious, and since they’d have to deal with a partner in law enforcement, they’d have to get used to the hours. They’d gotten a taste of it. They hadn’t slept without Camden, but it also gave him and Sin time to themselves.
Camden left a few hours before, but he’d called to say he was on his way home.
“Are we going to talk to him?”
He almost asked Sin what he was talking about but knew it wouldn’t work. They’d whispered about it a few nights waiting for Camden to come home from work.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to do it, Sin?”
He didn’t want to pressure Camden into anything. He turned away from the sink and grabbed a towel to dry his hands.
“We’ll never know if we don’t ask.”
“Just because I’ve always wanted kids doesn’t mean—”
“You’re letting your doubts take over and what’s our Daddy’s rule?”
He grinned at the Daddy’s rule question. That wasn’t used much outside sex but— “I can’t believe—”
“You like calling him Daddy, so I don’t even want to hear it. So, are we going to ask?”
“Yes, but if it makes him sad, I’m blaming you.” He couldn’t get over how Camden seemed to withdraw when the subjects of kids came up. It seemed to be a touchy subject. He and Sin agreed that Camden was too selfless. He thought about the impact it would have on others just like when he hadn’t wanted to date or fall in love when he worked undercover. But that wasn’t Camden’s life any longer. He wouldn’t say Camden’s job was safer just different.
“Deal and Lou said she’d do one more surrogacy if we asked her.”
“But I want Camden to donate. Can you imagine our daughter?”
He’d started to secretly imagine a daughter with Camden’s green eyes, but knew their daughter would probably come out with blue eyes like Lou.
“Why a daughter, why not a son?”
“I’d be happy with whatever, but I’d kinda like a little girl. Ricky is so beautiful, and since they’ll biologically be half-siblings, I kinda imagine, ya know?”
“But Peace is cute too.”
He couldn’t deny the little ginger-haired boy was adorable.
“Yeah, but if he doesn’t say yes, then it’s kinda pointless to hope right.”
“Then just ask him.”
“Ask me what?” Camden strolled into the kitchen removing his belt and holster. “Did Layla get going okay?” Camden embraced them both and held them close to his sides.
“She left about an hour ago. We were just straightening up.” Sin laced their fingers behind Camden’s back.
He silently took his brother’s offer of support. They’d agreed to share a partner and that one day he’d want kids. Sin even said he’d love being a dad, but they’d have to find their man first. That’s what they’d done, and it was time to ask if Camden would be open to one day doing it.
“So, what did you want to ask?”
“Um, well, I was just, you know—”
“Ellison, there’s no need to be nervous. I can’t take care of what’s bothering you if you don’t tell me.”
He couldn’t resist when Camden got that soft look in his eyes. The one focused on him or Sin when they were unsure. Camden always wanted them to be honest with him about everything so that he could make it better. “It’s about what Mama asked the first night she was here. Did you ever want kids?”
“Let’s put it like this. Do you want kids, Ellison?”
“I always thought one day, but if you don’t want them, then that’s fine.”
“How would we have said kids?”
“It would only be one. Lou only agreed to act as surrogate one more time, but only for me.”
“So, this is something you’ve already discussed with Lou?”
“Not recently, it was on one of our Saturday night sleepovers.”
“Have a seat at the table.”
He felt his shoulders slump as he released Sin’s hand and took his usual seat. He laced his fingers together as he avoided glancing at Camden. He didn’t want to see the sadness or that stiff posture he’d noticed the other night.
“What did you discuss with Lou? And when you talk to me you look at me.”
He obeyed. “Just that if we ever met someone…that she’d act as a surrogate. She’s done it for Lucky and Priest, Ghost and Harper.”
“Who would donate, you?”
“Well, I wanted you to.”
“Do you think we’re ready for kids?”
“We don’t have to do it yet. I just thought if we ever got to that point, you’d like to have a daughter with us.”
“He’s obsessed with the daughter thing.”
“Sin, I said I’d be happy with whatever, but our daughter would be gorgeous and strong. Capable. I could teach her to fly, and you could take her skydiving or base-jumping the first time. We could take her mountain climbing and teach her how to rappel at a run down the side of a cliff face.”
“A boy can learn those things too.”
“I know, Camden.” He’d just been dreaming of a little girl with black hair and deeply tanned skin. One that looked a lot like Camden. She’d be tall and strong. They’d raise her to be confident and independent. She’d never want for anything and Camden would always make sure she was safe.
“First, you two would have to marry me and then we’d decide on the kid thing when we were all ready.”
His heart picked up inside his chest. Painfully beating against his ribs at Camden saying they’d have to marry him first. So what it had only been a matter of months they’d been dating, but they’d known each other for two years. He knew what kind of man Camden was, and if he took care of them so well before they married, he knew it would be stronger afterward.
“We’re ready, Saint’s been ready forever, so it would just be when you’re ready to put that donation in a little cup and get our baby mama pregnant.”
“So is that a possible yes?”
“It’s not a possible yes, it is a yes, but not until we’ve had some more us time. I’ve been around long enough to know the crew kids are a top priority, and I’d like to make you two that for a while. Okay?”
“Okay.” It was a yes, and he could live with that. He’d text Lou to reserve womb space for one at a later date. Lucky’s sister never wanted kids of her own, but she’d talked about how happy seeing Lucky and Priest with Matty made her. Lou dealt with her own demons and kept a lot of secrets. But as much as Lou wanted everyone to think she was cold, she was loving and kind. Lou just didn’t know how to express it.
“Don’t you two have a gig at Brawlers this weekend?”
“Yes, it’s been a while. Since Melanie graduated, King and Linc decided to take their honeymoon. Mama set them up with a month-long cruise. She called in a few favors she’d held on to. Melanie’s looking forward to having Mal to herself for a whole month.”
“It’ll be good fo
r King and Linc to have some time alone.”
“So one more gig before they leave. You coming to watch us?”
“I wouldn’t miss it and this time around I can dance with my boys like I wanted to.”
He relaxed muscles he hadn’t known were tensed. Camden did so much for them without asking for anything in return. Camden still made sure he gave them each equal attention. The sex was amazing, and sometimes it was nothing more than Camden getting them off and him not taking for himself.
“Ellison, I know you’re nervous about talking with me sometimes, but I really want you to understand that nothing you ask will ever make me mad. You and Eric being happy is all I care about.”
“What about you being happy?”
“Making you two happy makes me happy. If you two feel safe and content, then I’ve done my job. Not everything is going to be perfect. We’re going to argue and disagree, but as long as we’re open and honest about what’s bothering us, then it can be fixed. I love you both and part of loving you is making sure you’re okay. You need to trust me that I can take care of y’all.”
“We do.” He and Sin got up and found their way onto Camden’s lap. They wrapped themselves around him. “We love you too.”
“Good. Now, how about we go to bed. You two don’t have to be quiet now. I miss you two screaming my name.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
They jumped up, and a smack landed on his ass as they took off for the steps. “I expect you two naked and ready for me, hands and knees.”
“Yes, sir.”
“How bad do we have to be to get a spanking?” he asked Sin.
“What did we do last time?”
“I think we weren’t naked and ready.”
“How slow do you think we can walk?”
They giggled as they slowed down and took their time getting to the bedroom. He knew Camden liked to see them naked when he came to their bed. Camden also loved to see the marks he left. The bruised impressions of his teeth. The fingertip bruises on their hips and the handprints on their asses. That’s why he always wanted them waiting on their hands and knees. Camden gave them so much and asked for so little, so when he asked, they gave. It was the least they could do for the man they loved and who loved them back.
Eighteen
When Did His Life Turn Into A Freak Show?
There’s a very short list of things that would scar him for life. Walking in on his parents having sex: never happened. Having to sit in a van with a stoned Little for two days: happened more than once. And now he could add walking in on Scary fucking Tank while Elijah jerked off to that list. He was sitting at the bar trying to drink that vision away waiting for his cousin and his men to finish whatever they were doing. Because the three men barely paused when he opened the fucking door.
“Eye bleach, my friend, eye bleach,” Twitch whispered as he poured him another double.
“I may need therapy.” He downed the double and tapped his glass on the bar top.
“No, you’ll need therapy when you walk in on double penetration. How Elijah takes those two, he must live with a plug in.”
“Twitch?” He looked at Twitch.
“What?”
“Never mention Elijah with a butt plug so he can take my cousin’s dick ever again.”
“You’re such a prude, it’s shameful.”
“I’m not a prude.”
“Whatever you say. You know, it’s probably not a good idea to get drunk in your uniform.”
“I’m off duty, but fuck, you’re probably right.” He slid the drink away to the rail and sighed as he scrubbed his hands over his face.
“So, what made you desperate enough to come see Scary?”
“He’s family.”
“Want to mend those childhood rifts?”
“Well, it seems like he’s all the family I got.”
He tried to ignore the phone call he’d made to his mother earlier, but it just kept coming back to him. Part of him thought if he’d told her that he’d found his happy ever after that she’d maybe be at least a little happy for him. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known. He wasn’t going to hide what he felt for Ellison and Eric, or that one day he’d marry them. Lily would perform the ceremony. Even though they were already pretty much living with him, he hadn’t asked them to give up their place. He still wanted them to have freedom.
“Did you take notes?” Scary’s amused voice made him groan.
He didn’t want to turn around. He’d never be able to look at them again.
“Drinking on the job, Sheriff, it couldn’t have been that bad. My men are sexy together.”
He shot a glare at Elijah. He’d heard the stories of the straight-laced and proper Elijah before he’d married Scary and Tank. They’d corrupted the beautiful man and Elijah didn’t seem to mind.
“He’s my cousin and—”
“Relax, walking in on someone is inevitable. Crave and Twitch like the women’s restroom on breaks a bit too much.”
“Thanks, doesn’t make me feel much better, Elijah.”
“Wasn’t meant to. Alright, Scary, Tank, don’t forget Juvie’s first show is tonight at eight.”
“Would we forget our daughter’s first gallery show?” Scary asked.
He watched Scary and Tank say goodbye to their man. They were so in sync with each other. Touches and kisses were equal—the love between them unconditional. It still shocked him to see his beast of a cousin that gone over someone. Scary had sworn relationships weren’t for him. Maybe it was just Elijah and Tank. He’d felt Scary’s love for Tank was hidden for decades. He’d noticed things back then but hadn’t thought too much about it until he’d found out Scary had married Tank and Elijah.
Elijah left, and Scary turned to him. “These visits are becoming too frequent. What we fucking do now?”
“Nothing, besides if y’all did, Peaches would get you off free and clear with minimal effort.”
“True. So, what’s up?”
Tank took a seat, and Scary sat beside him. Tank didn’t interact with him much, but that was old wounds. He didn’t think the man still forgave him for locking Scary up. Twitch set the two men up with pints.
“I don’t know, just got off the phone with Mother.”
“Pleasant shit I’m sure.”
His mother and father turned their backs any time Scary came into a room when they were kids. Their disdain for Scary’s mother transferred to Scary. His parents hadn’t even attended the funeral. He’d gone, but Scary didn’t let him close. Yet he’d stayed at a distance as he watched the big man grieve with Tank beside Scary.
“I told her about Eric and Ellison.”
Scary snorted and took a sip of the pint. “I bet that made her go into an undignified meltdown.”
“You could say that. She uninvited me for the holidays.”
“I’m sure that hurt your feelings.”
“Not so much. I didn’t want to go anyway. She wasn’t going to let me bring a date.”
“Unless said date had tits and a pussy, no fucking way she would’ve let them through the door.”
“Can’t help it stings a bit though.”
“Of course it does. Mama knew about me, said I needed to find a nice man, even grandma said the same. I don’t know how your dad and my mama came from the same woman.”
“I told Eric and Ellison I was going to talk to my mother about maybe—”
“They’ll understand. Besides you got enough fucking family just from the Crews. It’ll be all fucking good. Lily and Peaches for all their fucked-up quirks are the best mother figures most of us could get.”
“Yeah, that, I’ve had to learn to ignore a lot of shit with y’all since I took over as Sheriff.”
“We’re a little fucked-up. Not everything we do is all that legal, but smoking a little weed every now and again, maybe making a few bodies—”
“No, I don’t want to know about disappearing bodies.”
“Prude,” Twitch whispered, and h
e shot the little man a glare.
“I’m not a prude. I’m just…things are so fucking different here. I go from living by the book, no deviations and now, I don’t know.”
“You got a helluva fucking gig, man. Not to mention two young men that love your old ass. You don’t need your parents bullshit.”
“I just don’t—”
“I know what you don’t want to do, but your parents being dicks ain’t got shit to do with what you got with Sin and Saint.”
“I’m going to marry them at Christmas.” He hadn’t said that aloud. When they’d talked about having kids, all that shit he’d put to the back of his mind—the things he knew he couldn’t have—came back to him. He hadn’t lied to them when he said he wanted to one day, but one day in the near future. And the look on Ellison’s beautiful face when he talked about a daughter. He wanted that happiness to come true for them. He’d already had a private talk with Lou, but he told her to keep it quiet.
“Okay, wait the fuck up, info like this would’ve spread like the plague.”
“I ain’t asked yet. I got them rings today on my lunch break.”
“Well, Camden Pelter hardass extraordinaire has met his matches.”
“I’d like for you to be best man.”
“What, me, I don’t—”
“Come on, Scary, you’re the only blood family I got left, and we might not get along or really like each other all that much, but I’d really like my family there.”
“Then I’ll be there. Lily and Peaches will lose their shit when they find out they get to plan another wedding.”
“I’d complain, but Lily and Peaches plan amazing weddings…and kidnappings.”
“We all have our talents. Speaking of talents, Juvie is going to be looking for us.”
Tank and Scary stood, and he could see the pride they had for their daughter. Juvie was twenty and making a go of it with metal sculptures. He’d noticed a pattern when it came to the crew kids—they were encouraged to do their own thing. No limits were set on what they could do.
“How’s the art thing working for her?”