by L A Cotton
“What are you doing, JB?”
Her words knocked the wind from my sails, and I ran a hand through my hair, still damp from my run. “I... shit...” Summer was right. What the fuck was I doing? “You want the truth?” I cleared my throat.
“Please.”
“I get it. I get what it’s like to have a plan and for that plan to go up in flames before your very eyes.”
“You have a shoulder injury; my boyfriend had sex with another girl. It’s not really the same.” A strangled laugh spilled out of her soft lips.
“No, but I had a plan, just like you. And now I might need a plan B,” I threw her words from the other day back at her. “And no one gets that. No one understands that I don’t want a plan B. I want plan fucking A. So yeah, I might not have gotten screwed over by someone I love, but I love football, and the idea I might not be able to play again—”
“I get it.” Summer laid her hand on my arm, causing tiny bolts of lightning to shoot through me. She inclined her head, a strange expression crossing her face. Just for a second, then it was gone.
Did she feel it too?
It doesn’t matter if she does, dickhead, she’s hurting.
“I’m going to take a leak and then get the check, then I’ll drive you home.”
“Okay.”
Shit. I was being a dick, but something had happened when she touched me. Something I didn’t know how to deal with. I pushed my plate away and ducked out of our booth, aware we’d attracted quite the audience; kids discreetly glancing over at us over tops of menus, whispering and pointing. It was a bad idea bringing her here, to a local hotspot. A place full of her classmates and kids who knew us both by name. Suddenly, the walls felt like they were closing in around me. I’d wanted to make her smile, to distract her from her feelings of despair and loneliness, just for a little while. But something told me, all I’d done was make it worse.
After visiting the restroom, I settled the check before heading back to Summer. But something was wrong. Her face was pale, eyes wide with fear as she clutched her stomach.
“What is it?” I asked rushing over to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I...” An ugly sob tore from her throat. “I think something’s wrong.”
“You feel sick?”
She pressed her lips together, tears streaking down her face as her eyes dropped to her lap. I leaned in, my eyes following hers down to her thighs, her blood-stained shorts.
“Summer, what the fuck—”
“Ssh.” Fear glittered in her eyes. “Please, just get me out of here, JB. I need to get to the hospital.”
She was bleeding.
Bleeding from down there.
Fuck.
A hundred and one thoughts flooded my mind... all pointing to the same conclusion. “Y- you’re pregnant?” I choked over the words.
Her eyes darted around me like a caged animal looking for a way out. “JB, please.” The pain in Summer’s voice made my heart crack wide open. I was a big guy. Two hundred and ten pounds. Built. Yet, I was reduced to nothing, standing there, wondering how the fuck to help the heartbroken girl before me.
“Is everything okay over here?” a voice asked, and I glanced over my shoulder to find the server staring at me, her brow arched with suspicion.
“We, uh, we could do with a little help.”
My eyes slid back to Summer who seemed to shrink into the booth, her eyes fluttering shut.
“I think my friend is...” I leaned in, whispering into the server’s ear. She gasped, jerking back at the truth of my words.
“Oh my god, okay. You can use the back doors. If you go and bring your car around to the back, I’ll sit with her until you get—”
“No.” Summer’s hand curled around my bicep. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere okay?”
“Here.” I dug in my pocket and thrust my keys at the server, relieved I’d decided to drive my truck here, despite Mom wanting me to give it a couple more weeks. “It’s the black Nissan Titan, can you bring it around back?”
The server gawked at me but then shook her head, nodding. “I’ll be right back.”
Chapter 7
Summer
Fear gripped my heart in a vise as JB led me through The Shack and to his truck which was exactly where the kind server had said it would be.
Wetness seeped down my legs and I knew in my heart of hearts what was happening. I wanted to believe it was just a little bleed. But there was too much blood.
Pain shattered through me as I sobbed violently.
“Almost there,” JB’s voice was soft, but I’d seen the panic in his eyes when he’d come back from paying the check. The confusion.
He left me standing at the passenger door while he rooted around the back seat. Finally, he came back to me, laying a towel on his seat before helping me climb inside. “Do you want me to call some—”
“No,” I rushed out. “Please just take me to the ER.”
He gave me a stiff nod before going around to the driver’s door and climbing inside. Another cramp tore through me and I doubled over, breathing through my nose.
“Summer, shit—” Warm fingers brushed my hair out of my face, and I lifted my eyes to JB.
“Go, I’m okay.” But I wasn’t. I was breaking inside. Physically and emotionally.
He looked so torn. I wanted to reassure him, but it hurt so damn much.
“I’ll drive as fast as I can.” And he did, but it still took a little over fifteen minutes before he’d found a parking spot.
“I’ll go get you a wheelchair, okay?” I nodded through the tears soaking my face, and JB grimaced. “Are you sure I can’t call someone? Your mom? Nick?”
“N- no, I don’t want them to know; not yet.”
“They don’t know you’re pregnant?” He swallowed over the word and guilt pinched my heart.
“No.”
“Okay.” He ran a hand over his face. “Wait right here, I’ll be as quick as I can.”
With a small nod, I watched JB duck out of the truck and jog across the street to the hospital doors. He disappeared inside and my pulse spiked. But a couple of minutes later, he burst through the doors pushing a wheelchair.
“Let me help you,” he said as the passenger door swung open and he offered me his hand. “You can cover yourself with the towel.”
“Thanks.” My voice sounded weary but at least the tears had subsided. Not that I had many more left to cry.
JB was quiet as he wheeled me inside to the front desk. An older lady with gray-blonde hair and a kind smile greeted us. “Hello, Summer. My name’s Florence. Your friend said you’re bleeding?” I nodded over the lump in my throat. “How many weeks pregnant are you, sweetheart?”
“They said I was nine.”
“Okay, let’s get you comfortable and someone will come take a look at what’s happening. Are you the father?” She glanced at JB and I wanted the ground to swallow me whole.
“N-no, ma’am. But I’m Summer’s—”
“If it’s okay with you,” I said quietly. “I’d like him to come with us.”
“Of course, sweetheart.” Her sympathetic gaze was filled with nothing but compassion. “It’s this way.” She nodded down the hall and JB wasted no time pushing me after her.
“How are you holding up?” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t ever think—”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m here, Summer, for as long as you need me.” His big hand gently squeezed my shoulder and I reached back, covering it with my own. But I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t. Too mortified—and devastated—by the events of the last thirty minutes.
“Okay, we’re just in here.” The nurse let us into a small windowless room. “I’m going to get you booked in and then the doctor will be along to see you. Why don’t you help Summer onto the bed,” she said to JB, “There are paper towels and sanitary products over there,” she pointed to the counter.
“I’m uh, yeah, I got it.”
I finally peeked over at JB who looked as pale as I felt. When his gaze snapped to mine, I lowered my eyes, unable to stand the weight of his stare.
Nurse Florence left us alone and silence hung over in the air, making it difficult to breathe.
“Do you want me to lift you onto the bed?”
“I think I can manage.” I gave him a sad smile as I stood on shaky legs. A wave of pain rippled through me and I squeezed my eyes shut, inhaling a ragged breath.
“Here.” An arm slid around my waist, taking my weight. “I’ve got you.”
JB lifted me with ease, sitting me on the plastic bed. It wasn’t a proper hospital bed but one of those exam tables covered with stiff white paper towel.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“Summer, look at me.” His fingers slid under my jaw, coaxing my face to his. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But this isn’t your problem. You shouldn’t even be—”
“But I am, and unless you tell me otherwise, I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
His words settled deep inside me, easing the tightness in my chest. I didn’t want to be alone, but I didn’t want him to call my mom or Nick either. There was too much to explain. And I couldn’t deal with other people’s anxiety/confusion/disappointment/upset right now. Not when I felt like I was riding an emotional rollercoaster myself.
“Thank you.”
The next hour passed in a blur of doctors and nurses, exams and utlrasounds. But in the end, they all concluded the same thing.
My baby was gone.
And I’d never felt more alone.
“HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?” JB stared down at me as my eyes fluttered open. My hand instinctively went to my stomach, the emptiness I felt devastating.
“I... I’m not sure,” I admitted, my throat dry from all the tears. At some point after all the doctors and poking and prodding, I must have drifted off to sleep.
“I got you some juice.” JB offered me the juice box, and I shuffled up the pillows, taking it from him.
“Thank you. How long have I been out?”
“A little over an hour. The nurse came to check on you, but when she saw you were sleeping, she left.”
“I feel exhausted.”
JB dropped into the chair beside the bed and leaned forward, chin on his fists. “Do you need anything else?”
“You’ve done enough,” I said quietly.
The fact he was still here, by my side, as I went through one of the hardest things I’d ever experienced, was enough.
More than enough, it was everything.
“You don’t have to stay, it’s getting late, you probably have things—”
“Bored of me already?” His brow quirked playfully.
“I just don’t want you to feel obliged to stay.”
“I want to be here.” He hesitated. “But I really think you should return your mom’s calls. She hasn’t stopped.” He flicked his head to my cell phone on the table.
“Could you pass it to me?”
JB reached over and got it, handing it to me. He was right. I had a few missed calls off Mom and a couple of texts from my brothers. I groaned, flopping back against the pillows.
“You should talk to them,” he said.
“And say what? I’m surprised Maverick hasn’t already driven home and kicked Nick’s ass. When he finds out about this—”
“He’ll want to be here for you because he loves you.”
“You’re defending him now?” My tone was flat, but my lip curved. I needed this—mindless conversation with someone outside of my family circle.
I wasn’t ready to call my brother, but JB was right, I couldn’t hide this from my mom. “Will you stay until she gets here?” I asked, a feeling of dread slithering up my spine.
“Of course.”
I quickly sent her a text, giving her the CliffsNotes version of what had happened. Her reply pinged straight back.
Mom: On my way! Xo
“She’s coming straight here.”
“What will you tell her?”
“The truth, I guess. But I’m not ready for everyone to know.”
“Summer, I would never—”
“I didn’t mean you, JB. I trust you.” It was the truth, no matter how strange it felt saying the words. “It’s just... you know how fast gossip travels around here, and enough people saw us leave The Shack.” Even though we’d snuck out of the back door, people had seen us. I took a shuddering breath.
Handing JB my cell phone, I closed my eyes. “I can’t believe how quickly everything has changed. One minute I was excited to be moving to college with the love of my life, the next I’m lying in a hospital bed mourning my relationship and the baby I’ll never get to meet.” My throat grew dry, tears burning my eyes.
“Summer, I...” the star quarterback sitting next to me looked as lost as I felt.
“It’s okay, JB, you don’t need to say anything. Just you being here is enough.”
There was a knock at the door, and Nurse Florence poked her head inside. “How are we doing?”
“Okay, a little sore,” I said.
“It’s to be expected. I’ll bring you some more pain relief. And the doctor will be along soon to talk to you about next steps, okay?”
My body went rigid, the blood draining from my face.
“It’s okay, Summer,” she said softly. “I know it’s hard, but you’re in good hands.”
All I could manage was a stiff nod. She left and the floodgates opened again. JB offered me a box of tissues from the table, but he didn’t speak. He probably didn’t know what to say. Instead, he sat, took my hand in his and gently stroked his thumb across my skin in a soothing motion. His touch grounded me. I couldn’t explain it, but it did. And before I knew it, I was drifting into a fitful sleep. One filled with images of brown-haired little boys and blue-eyed little girls as they ran away from me. Always running, just out of reach. Until they were gone.
And I was alone.
With nothing but tears in my eyes and pain coiled around my heart.
“SUMMER, SWEETHEART, it’s me.” Mom’s voice coaxed me from my dreams, her slim fingers brushing my cheek. “My sweet girl; my sweet, sweet girl.”
Tears rushed up my throat, pooling in my eyes as I threw my arms around her.
“Ssh, baby. I’m here, I’m right here.”
I don’t know how long we stayed like that, a mother consoling her daughter. But eventually, a knock on the door pulled us apart and Mom smoothed her hair, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.
“Um, hey.” JB appeared, his eyes immediately finding mine. “I just wanted to say goodbye. I should probably—”
“Wait,” I cried. “Mom, can you give us a minute please?”
She glanced between me and the hulk of a guy standing in the doorway. “Of course, baby. I’ll go find the nurse and let them know you’re awake.” She slipped around JB and disappeared.
“You have to leave?” I asked, confused by the panic I felt bubbling in my chest.
“My mom is blowing up my phone wanting to know where I am.”
“Oh, okay. You should go then.”
He closed the distance, his eyes saying a hundred things I couldn’t decipher. “If you need me to stay, I will.” His hand encased mine, and I immediately relaxed.
“Thank you, for everything. I feel like words aren’t enough.”
“I’m so sorry, Summer.” His eyes darkened. “Nick is a fool to have ever let you go.”
The air turned thick, tension crackling around us. I realized then what I’d been afraid to acknowledge. JB didn’t just look at me like a guy who wanted to help a girl out, he looked at me like a guy who wanted the girl.
“I hope your shoulder gets better,” I blurted out, desperate to fill the silence. His lip curved.
“Yeah, me too. I guess this is it then?”
The panic I’d felt earlier punched me in the chest. I
didn’t want him to go, but it wasn’t right to ask him to stay. So I forced out, “Bye.”
“Bye, Summer.” He surprised me by leaning down to kiss my head. JB lingered as if he wanted to say more, as if the words were on the tip of his tongue, but they never came, and he retreated to the door. “If you need anything—”
“They’re going to bring you something to—Oh, I’m sorry.” Mom ducked around JB, a frown crinkling her immaculate face. “I didn’t realize I was interrupting anything.”
“You’re not, Mrs. Stone-Prince. I was just leaving.”
“Well thank you, JB was it?” He nodded. “I can’t express how much I appreciate what you did for my daughter.”
“It was nothing.” His eyes flicked to me over Mom’s shoulder since she’d placed herself between him and my bed. In any other situation I would have found it endearing but now it only irritated me.
“Okay, well, it’s late and I’m here now so...” She left the words hanging and I mouthed, “I’m sorry,” to him. He gave me a discreet nod and then without another word, disappeared into the hall.
And although I couldn’t explain it, I already wanted him to come back.
Chapter 8
JB
I didn’t leave the hospital. It was stupid and I knew if my friends could see me now, they’d wonder what the fuck was wrong with me; but something stopped me from leaving.
Instead, I went to the cafeteria and got myself a soda and some chips and sat in a chair by the window overlooking the hospital gardens. I didn’t know Summer, really know her. But knowing she was up there, on floor three, trapped in a small room with a broken heart and a boatload of grief, it fucking killed me. It made no sense, but all I’d wanted to do was take it all away from her.
To comfort her and put a smile back on her face.
Before her mom had arrived, part of me thought she might be about to ask me to stay. It was ten shades of fucked-up though. She was fresh out of a relationship, pregnant with another guy’s baby.
Only, she wasn’t now.