by Calinda B
He blinked. “What do you mean?”
“You refused to give up on me. You kept pressing your questions. ‘Are you sure this is the right path for you, Anne?’ I didn’t want to admit it, but…” She glanced away. When her gaze returned, her eyes shone with tears. “I’ll never forget the look on your face when I told you I’d be taking my novitiate vows. In that instance, I knew I was still running away from life. Running away from you.”
Paul sucked in a breath.
“Being tucked away in a convent or a school wouldn’t settle the yearning in my own heart. If anything, it would intensify my longing.”
Paul’s heart began to pound in his chest, begging to be set free. “What are you saying, Anne?”
He placed his hands on her shoulders and searched her eyes.
“I’m saying, you were right. I don’t belong in a convent. It is possible to serve God…and to love. I think loving someone is what God intends. Would you…Could you…” She let out a long breath, still gazing at him. “Would you tutor me in the ways of love, Paul Riordan?”
His heart exploded, flying free in a million bits of soaring ecstasy. “The teacher in me accepts the challenge. While the man in me…he wants to show you everything he knows and learn how to please your body in more ways than he can imagine. So, yes, Anne, yes. I’ll tutor you in the ways of love.”
Chapter 23
Wednesday evening – Marie
Fifteen hours after the nightmares of Ballynagaul had come to a grisly conclusion, and the crimes had been processed and logged into the Garda procedural system, someone jostled Marie’s shoulder. She jerked awake from where she’d fallen asleep with her head on the desk in Ryan’s austere office.
Calling this gray-walled room an office was a stretch. With its sparse furnishings of a lone desk and a wooden chair, it could be easily used as an interrogation room.
“Wake up. I’m taking you home,” Ryan said.
“Huh?” she mumbled, wiping the dried spit from her cheek. She blinked and straightened, clutching Ryan’s blanket around her. She’d kept it close ever since the ride from the beach and the Leviathan transformation a gazillion hours ago.
“Home. Now.” He gave her a stern look.
Marie rubbed her eyes, trying to orient herself.
Earlier, Ryan had flipped back to his cold, distant self with her. Whether it was him simply dealing with the process of death and crime, or, whether he wrestled with the loving feelings he’d shared with her after hauling her from the sea, she didn’t know.
So, all day, when not being questioned, she’d hid in Ryan’s office, trying to sort the last twenty-four hours of chaos. Even now, her mind still clinging to sleep, the same chaotic puzzle pieces of the previous day and night jostled about in her brain, seeking to form a pattern that made sense.
I turned into a Leviathan. A vampire attacked Gillespie, and he died. Paul’s injured. My brother almost died. And… her brow furrowed. What happened to the vampire? No one even mentioned her. Did my dad whisk her away? Still clinging to sleep, she strained her brain trying to remember.
“Are you going to let me help you up, or what?” Ryan kept that stern gaze pinned to her face.
She eyed his hand, uncertain of whether to take it.
He started to drop his arm, a look of hurt in his eyes.
She quickly grabbed it and let him tug her to her feet. His warm skin felt like soul food. The simple touch brought waves of comfort to her. And, God, how she needed comfort.
“I have something I want to talk to you about,” he said.
“What is it?” she said, alarm bells clanging in her mind.
He shook his head. “Not here.”
She tensed for a moment, hoping he wasn’t going to tell her to back off or “we need to get some distance from one another,” or some such. It was one thing to profess your love when adrenaline was pumping through your system like after she turned Leviathan. But a lot of hours had passed since then, with him keeping his distance.
She studied him, wanting to soothe the tired from his eyes but not daring to be so presumptive—especially with his request for “a talk.”
“Okay.” She gripped his hand a little too tight.
After shutting off the light to his office, he led her out of the station and helped her into his SUV.
Once the vehicle was scooting down the road on automatic, he turned to her. “I need to ask you something.”
She sucked in her breath and rubbed her fingers. “Go ahead.” She glanced out the window, noting the ever-present sheep on the hill. They always seemed to space themselves apart just so while they were feeding and then bunch together when resting.
“I’ve thought about you a lot since we shared a kiss,” he said.
Her head jerked back around to face him. “I’ve thought a lot about it, too.”
“I worried I’d let you down…both you and your brother…and your mum and dad. Your mum entrusted me to be your godfather, not your lover. The whole thing seems so…so…wrong.” His eyes looked serious as he spoke.
“I understand,” she said. “But you’ve always been my friend…my Lion. I never thought of you as my mentor. You’ve always been my safe space. But then, when I turned into a rabid, hormonal teenager, my feelings for you started to shift.”
He nodded, squirming in his seat. “I know. I felt it, too. And I swore I’d never let it get out of hand. But you’ve grown into a beautiful young woman…who deserves so much better than a guy like me.”
“Ryan,” she protested, but he cut her off.
“Let me finish,” he said, putting up his hand. “You do deserve better. Someone younger. I’m eighteen years your senior, don’t forget. But I don’t want you to find that guy.” His face reddened. “That came out wrong. What I meant to say is your happiness is important to me. But I’d like to share that kind of happiness with you…if you still want me, that is. I do love you.” He tugged at the collar of his uniform.
She took a long, deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.
“And you can think about it and get back to me. I’ll still be your friend if you want to keep it that way. Again, all I care about is your happiness.” He clasped and unclasped his hands.
She swallowed, choosing her words carefully. “Lion, I can’t even look at another guy. Thoughts of you consume me. You hum through my bloodstream from the minute I wake up until night’s end, especially since we shared that kiss.” She nervously worked her fingers around and around. “I mean, before the kiss, I tried to shove my desires away. But, when we kissed, well… I know you felt it, too. And it opened a floodgate of want in me…want for you. And, I can’t explain it…but I feel like our connection spans lifetimes. Like this is some fated moment in time. I’m not trying to excuse what we did in fanciful terms. I can’t put my finger on it, but we’re meant to be together.”
“And you don’t think I’ll be pitchforked as a skeevy pervert for loving you more than a godfather ought to? I picture my head hanging in the village square with the word ‘defiler’ painted on the road.” He hung his head, bearing a troubled expression.
Marie grew silent. “Yeah, I guess I can see that—not the whole head chopped off part…” She grimaced. “But I can see why you’d think that.” She tapped the middle console with her fingertip, gathering her thoughts. “Still…I just can’t explain the depth of the connection I feel for you. Tell you what…let’s keep it on the lowdown until we’ve sorted it. Mum and Dad did the same thing while they were working out their connection. They kept their relationship a secret.”
Ryan smirked. “Yeah, until your mum put the screws to Cillian’s balls telling him she’d leave him if he didn’t find a way to come clean to the public.” His eyebrows drew together. “That’s when he hired Gillespie. I’ll bet he’s kicking himself for that.”
“Yeah.” Marie stared at the opposite wall, her face scrunching into a frown. “Let’s leave Gillespie, and my mum, and dad’s private anatomy out of the conve
rsation, okay? This is between you and me. So…keep it secret until we figure it out? I mean, we’ll tell those close to us, but we all are master secret keepers, as you know.” She lifted her hand and extended it to him. “Deal?”
He hesitated before taking it. “Deal,” he said, drawing her hand to his mouth and kissing her knuckles. And then a slow smile spread across his face. With mischief in his eyes, he said, “Let’s take this to the next level then, what do you say?”
She sucked in a breath. “What do you have in mind?”
He grinned. “My place. Ain’t no way I’m going to pursue my fantasies at your mum’s. She’d feed me my balls for breakfast.” He let out a nervous chuckle.
The SUV turned right at Ryan’s street.
Butterflies cascaded in Marie’s belly. We’re doing this. We’re actually doing this.
Ryan put his hands on the wheel and took the vehicle out of auto-drive, guiding it into his carport. Once he’d parked it, he leaned across the console and hooked his hand behind Marie’s neck. “Come here, gorgeous.”
Her sex instantly flooded with silky heat.
He gave her three of the softest kisses she’d ever had then pulled back to gaze into her eyes. “Simple appetizers, those kisses.”
“I barely got a taste. Let me have a few more.” She slid her hand around his warm, strong neck and pulled him closer. She fit her mouth to his and deepened the kiss. It felt so natural to kiss her Lion, like sweet ice cream sundae bliss. But, as his tongue entered her mouth, the sundae burst into a flambé of scorching hot desire.
After a few minutes of the lip-lock, Ryan gently eased back. “God, woman, whatever are you doing to me?”
Breathless, she panted, saying, “The same thing you’re doing to me. And, wow.”
“Wow,” he breathed. He squinted, then, reached over and plucked something out of her hair. He held a piece of dried seaweed up for inspection. “You’ve still got seaweed and salt in your hair. Let’s get you inside and warm. I’m going to run you a hot bath and get you all clean and snuggly. I’ll bring you a hot toddy while you’re soaking. And then, once we’ve cleaned off the last twenty-four…” He waggled his eyebrows.
She laughed. “That sounds so sweet, Ryan. As long as afterward we can get down to dirty sex.”
“You plucked the words out of my mouth. No more talk, woman. Let’s go.”
She liked it when he called her “woman.” He’d never said that to her before. Actually, she liked everything about this moment. She exited the SUV and practically ran into his house.
Once they were inside, shoes sitting on the floor near the coat closet, he took her hand and led her down the hall toward his bedroom.
She’d always thought his private lair suited him well. A king-sized bed, perfect for a lion, dominated the room. The wall behind the bed was covered in rich roan-colored paneling. The rest of the walls were painted in an apricot color. A dresser flanked the wall opposite the bed. A warm brown wool rug with intersecting orange squares covered the wood floor. Only one side lamp stood on his side of the bed. He also only had one pillow.
“Ryan,” she said with a laugh.
“What,” he said, turning around to face her.
“You need another light. And, at least twenty more pillows.”
“And why should I get twenty more pillows?” he said, his face alight with amusement. “I only have one head.”
“Trust me. Girls like pillows.” She smiled.
“Oh, I see where we’re going.” He grinned. “Since I like you and you’re a girl, by rights I should get more pillows.”
“You see my logic,” she said.
“Tell you what.” He brought their interlaced hands up to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “How about if you pick out the pillows and light, so we get exactly what you want?”
Her heart melted at his kindness. “I’d like that.”
“Good. I’d like that, too. I’d love to see touches of you in this house.” Lowering her hand, he stepped across the room toward his master bathroom.
The room was simple but clean. A generously sized clawfoot tub sat in the corner. A frosted window lined with men’s product framed the bath.
She paused in the doorway. She’d seen this room many times but never like this. Tonight, she and Ryan were going to get naked together. Her giddy thoughts collided with self-consciousness.
He turned on the faucet, adjusted the heat and let it fill, keeping his back to her.
She stood propped against the doorframe and watched him, the butterflies suddenly flying in frenetic circles in her belly. Should I simply undress? He’s seen me naked. Hell, he pulled both William’s and my naked bodies out of the sea last night. But this is different.
He straightened and put his hands on his hips, studying the water.
Puffs of steam wafted into the room.
Does he feel it too? The sudden awkwardness? She took a long, slow breath. Then, she pulled her shirt over her head and pushed her pants and underwear from her legs.
His shoulders stiffened into rigid angles.
When she’d stripped the last of her clothing off, she said, “Turn around.”
Slowly, he turned. He sucked in a sharp inhale. His gaze roamed her body. His head shook back and forth, back and forth. Finally, he lifted his gaze to hers. “Honey, you’re the most beautiful woman in the world.”
Hurrying across the room, she reached for him at the exact same time he reached for her. When their lips connected, she swore sparks of electricity shot between them. Her skin pressed against his cotton shirt, jeans and belt buckle. The heat from his growing erection pulsed against her belly.
His hands on her cheeks, his mouth savoring hers, he pivoted, guiding her toward the tub. He eased back, saying, “Get inside and soak, love.”
She stepped onto the porcelain, wincing slightly from the sudden heat of the water.
“Too hot?” Concern flashed through his eyes. His hand started to reach for the faucet.
She pushed his hand away. “No. Just a surprise. It’s ideal.”
“Okay. I want everything to be perfect for you,” he said, straightening.
“Oh, Ryan, it’s beyond perfect.” She brought her hand behind his neck and pulled him close for another intoxicating kiss as she sank into the water.
He braced himself on either side of the bathtub while he kept kissing her.
Once she sat immersed in hot water, she released him.
“Be right back,” he said, standing. Something about his stance appeared hesitant, reserved. He nibbled on his lower lip, studying her, appearing thoughtful.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” Then, he straightened his shoulders and said, “Relax. I’ll be back in a flash.”
She eyed his backside as he strode from the bathroom, wondering what was going on in his mind. Leaning forward, she cranked off the faucet, then, lay back and sank up to her chin. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the smooth rim of the tub. The water felt supreme. It soothed her muscles into submission and into letting go.
A short time later, the sound of Ryan’s footfalls brought her out of her liquid bliss doze.
He stepped into the steamy room with a tray bearing two amber colored drinks and a large stainless-steel pitcher. The drinks had clove-studded lemon slices floating on top. He set the tray on the sink and lifted a glass in her direction.
She took the warm glass.
He held his drink before her, gazing steadily into her eyes. “To the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, somberly.
“To my lion,” she said, equally somber. “To daring to take a chance with me.”
He crossed himself with his tumbler. “May your mother not slice my balls off when we next see her.” He brought the glass to his lips and sipped, keeping his gaze pinned on her.
She chuckled and sipped her toddy. “I won’t let her have them. They’re mine.”
His eyes softened into po
ols of warmth. He perched on the edge of the tub and took another sip. Then, he frowned. “Are you certain you want to go forward with this?”
Her brow furrowed. “Don’t you?”
“God, Marie, it’s all I can think about.” His eyes dropped to his crotch.
She licked her lips at the sight of his erection. “Then, why are you asking me this?”
“I want you to be sure. I’ve got a lot of years on you. You’ll stay a young thing for the rest of your life. I’ll age before your eyes. I just want you to be certain.”
“Stop worrying, Lion. I already said yes. I haven’t changed my mind, Matter of fact I can hardly wait to get into bed with you.”
His lips pinched together.
“What?” she said.
He sighed. “I may as well get this over with.”
Marie’s brow stitched together. “Get what over with?”
“Are you in love with Paul Riordan?”
A laugh burst from her throat. “In love with Paulie? Ew, no. I’d as soon shag Paul as I’d shag my own brother. Gross. Why on earth would you think that?”
Ryan’s expression softened into one of utter relief. “I don’t know. You’ve grown up together. I wondered if there was some hidden affection for him in the back of your heart.”
“Silly fool. The only guy I’m in love with is standing next to me fretting about things that never even crossed my mind.”
Relief flooded his face.
She flicked her hand through the bathwater, splashing his pants legs. “Besides that, Paul’s a pushover with me. I couldn’t stand having such an accommodating partner in life. And anyway, he’s in love with a nun from St. Christopher’s.”
“I had no idea he was in love with a nun.” He chuckled. “There must be something in the water of Ballynagaul diluting everyone’s respect for the cloth.” He stepped toward the bath, standing before her with his erection at eye level.
Marie grinned. “Oh, I’d say it’s more of a thing for those in uniform. You know, Mum had a thing for a priest’s robes, Paul’s lusting after a woman dressed in a nun’s habit, while I…” She caressed her belly. “I have a fondness for a Garda’s uniform.”