Nalus snapped. “You should have stopped him! You’re the executive officer…”
Jacob cut her off. “Hold it right there. If you’re going to pull the whole “I’m the XO and have the welfare of the crew to protect,” save your breath. Captain Dewis ignored me because he didn’t respect me. He viewed me as nothing more than a traitor.” Nalus gave him a confused look, but the commander wasn’t buying it. “Don’t act so surprised. You were just as disgusted with me being here as the rest of the crew. For you to try to blame our situation on me is appalling. Then again, I should expect nothing less from a common TERRA officer. So, go ahead, blame me. I don’t give a shit what you think. None of you were prepared to handle exploring space. It’s your dead captain’s ego that’s put us here, not me. Even if I tried to stop him, you all would have backed him up and thrown me in the brig. You know it, and I know it.” Jacob knew he was blowing up at her, but he didn’t care. They were in life or death situation. Being politically correct was the last thing he was concerned about now.
Nalus didn’t immediately reply. For a moment, Jacob thought she might break down and cry, uncharacteristic for an officer. He did get an outburst from her, of anger. “I have a husband and two kids on Mars! I didn’t sign up for this!”
That made Jacob even madder and he shouted at her. “You’re a TERRA officer! You signed up to serve and protect humanity. Space exploration is part of that now. If you didn’t like the changes occurring, then you should have resigned.”
The lieutenant finally broke down and cried. As soon as she did, Jacob regretted what he said. Despite her displays of animosity towards him, and his general disdain for how officers had treated him since he left PHOENIX, berating someone out of anger wasn’t in his nature. Seeing her genuinely concerned about their survival snapped him out of his anger.
Jacob put his arm around Nalus to comfort her. “I’m sorry, Kelly.”
Nalus couldn’t hold in her emotions and sobbed. “I just want to be with my family again. If I would have known…”
“Sssshhhh, it’s okay,” Jacob assured her. “I promise I’m going to get you back to your family.”
Kelly looked up at him, wanting to believe him. But the military training in her kicked in. She knew better than to accept such a promise. “How can you say that? The ship’s barely operating.”
It didn’t matter if the odds were stacked against them. For this one moment, convincing her of his promise meant everything to Jacob. “I give you my promise, as your commander. We’ll get back to the Milky Way. The safety of this crew is my priority.”
Nalus managed to get herself composed. She looked at Jacob with sincerity. “You’d say that, even after the way I treated you?”
Jacob smiled at her. “I’m your executive officer, I’m immune to people’s opinions.” When her face softened, he knew she was receptive. “I made my choice serving on PHOENIX. When I left her, I knew I wouldn’t be welcomed anywhere else in the fleet. I accepted that.” Jacob didn’t want her to respond. There were enough emotions between them. “Let’s focus on what we need to do—getting home.”
“Yes, sir,” Nalus replied as she finished composing herself. She started heading back to engineering but turned, looked at the commander, and managed to break a weak smile. “Thank you, sir.” It was at that moment that Kelly realized she had been wrong about the commander. He wasn’t a traitor. He was a man who did what he thought was best.
Jacob smiled and nodded at her. He waited a couple minutes after she left before heading back to engineering. He checked to make sure the hull fractures weren’t threatening the power distribution nodes, even though he knew the engineers would have already checked the power flow. He tried to shake the sinking feeling that they were in a very bad position. SOLARA was crippled, with a probe of unknown origin out there that could come after them at any time, and no way to communicate with either alliance vessel on the other side of the jumpgate. Unless Lieutenant Walters performed a miracle, the only way they were getting back to the Milky Way galaxy is if they contacted either the BEUSMIC or VFLEP to rescue them.
********
Ten hours had passed since the SOLARA’s encounter with the probe. Once the Interceptor fleet returned to the hangar, Nalus nestled the ship into the atmosphere of the gas giant. They descended far enough that the ship should be shielded from detection as the atmosphere contained several components that interfered with sensors. There were the occasional creaks from the hull from the pressure outside as the ship maintained its position. Once the ship was nestled in its position, a group of maintenance bots were deployed outside to conduct exterior repairs of the ship.
Jacob retired to his quarters to go over status reports and get some sleep. Their contents did nothing to ease his worries. The fractures were worse than the initial assessment. Jonas had to recruit every officer with any engineering experience, no matter how little, to help with the repair efforts. If they were lucky, the probe would remain out of commission. The worst case scenario was it became operational again or whatever built it came looking for it. Sensors showed no life forms on the planetary ground station, so Jacob was optimistic that it was just an automated facility. Hopefully, whoever built it was far away. He also hoped that whoever built the probe was not the same race who enslaved the Screen.
There came a knock on the door. The commander got up and answered it to find it was Michelle. “I didn’t see you in the mess hall for dinner,” the security chief said.
“Decided to have rations,” Jacob said, motioning to the half-eaten brick on his desk.
“We do have plenty of food on board,” Michelle joked as she came in. “There’s no need to panic just yet.” She hated rations and would rather starve than eat one.
“I prefer them when I’m stressed.” Jacob motioned to her to sit at the desk as he sat on his bed.
Michelle sat down and wasted no time. “The crew could use some morale boosting. You hiding out here doesn’t help them.”
“They’re adults. Their morale is the least of my worries. We need to get the hell out of here.”
Michelle handed him a DAT. “Doctor Morrell conducted scans of the command deck. He’s confirmed no life signs. Captain Dewis is dead.” Jacob briefly looked at the report before tossing it aside. “Now that he’s gone, there’s no reason to hide the conversation he had with the command council. What did they say?”
Jacob didn’t need to debate whether to tell her. They were already in a dire predicament. Telling her couldn’t make things worse. It was best to come clean with her. “Admiral Vespia ordered Dewis to halt the mission and recalled SOLARA back to Luna. The alliance feared activating the gate was too risky, so they agreed the mission should be terminated.”
“Wow!” Michelle could hardly believe that Captain Dewis, a man she admired and served with for many years, would go against orders. He was never one to disobey his superior officers. “They just want to abandon the gate?”
“No, they informed Dewis the mission would be taken up again, but when TERRA’s fleet of new starships are in operation, and we can better protect ourselves. As for the captain, she told him his commission was over. His plan on going through the gate had riled up the alliance so much they considered him a liability.”
It didn’t take much for Michelle to connect the rest of the dots. “Instead of going back and seeing his career end, he chose to go through the gate. I never expected him to be so desperate. He’s always been about maintaining a good image.”
“We’re stuck with what he’s done,” Jacob said. “I don’t know how the hell we’re going to get out of this.”
Michelle found his ominous tone unusual. “Excuse me, commander. I’m a little surprised by your demeanor. I’ve read some of the things PHOENIX went through during the Screen mission. This is no different than some of the situations you experienced on that ship.”
“You don’t understand…” Jacob’s voice trailed off. “I came to SOLARA assuming I wouldn’t have to handle
situations where the crew was put in mortal danger. This was just supposed to be a patrol vessel, no danger to encounter. I didn’t sign up for another exploration mission.”
“What happened on the PHOENIX?” Michelle asked. “Why did you leave? I’ve read your profile. You were an exemplary officer. There’s no reason you should have left.” The chief could see he was struggling to open up to her. Whatever he was hiding weighed heavily on him. “If I’m going to be your de-facto XO, I need to know what motivates you. Don’t be like Dewis.”
She was right. Jacob didn’t want to be like the captain and hide behind a title. He had never shared these thoughts with anyone. Maybe it was time to open up about it. “When the Screen attacked us at the Ni system, I was reassigned to engineering in anticipation of the battle damage we would incur. During the fight, I went to repair a power conduit. The ship got hit and I was knocked unconscious. Next thing I remember, I was being pulled out of the conduit after the battle was over.
“During the ship’s reconstruction, I went over some of the logs of the battle. I discovered that the damaged conduit I was working on caused a cascade feedback that ruptured the entire engineering power network. It caused massive explosions, helping the Screen break the engineering section off from the rest of the ship.”
So that’s what he’s been hiding, Michelle thought. “And you blame yourself for it?”
“If I wasn’t knocked unconscious, I could have repaired the conduit and maybe saved the engineering section and all those lives. I failed when it counted most.”
Michelle put her hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “I’ve read about that battle. You were up against overwhelming odds. Even if you did repair that conduit, PHOENIX was never going to win. You were up against a whole armada of enemy ships. What happened was beyond your control. You did the best you could.”
“You don’t think I haven’t told myself that? But every time I close my eyes, I see the faces of the friends and colleagues I lost. Logically, I shouldn’t blame myself, but I do.”
“Being in the military means accepting that we’ll lose friends in the line of duty,” Michelle reminded him. “The rest of us didn’t have to worry about that because we were stuck in the solar system. You and the others on PHOENIX were the first ones to face losing people in the line of duty. That couldn’t have been easy. You, like the rest of us, were so used to working through our careers with no wars or battles to take fellow officers away from us.”
Her words struck a chord with Jacob. She was right. He had the luxury not seeing his peers die in the line of duty. Even after entering the EXODUS Project and knowing they would someday launch the vessel, he didn’t grasp that could mean losing people he worked with for so many years.
“That battle was the first time you had to face loss,” Michelle added. “You never knew how to deal with it.”
“I didn’t want to. I distracted myself by diving into PHOENIX’s reconstruction. When the mission ended, it was easier to leave than stay with so many reminders of what I lost.”
Michelle squeezed his shoulder again. “You did the best you could.”
“So…so how do I start mourning for people who’ve been dead for so long?”
“Maybe the best way to remember them is to live your life,” Michelle advised. “Honor them by being the best officer you can be. They sacrificed themselves so you could live freely and explore the stars. That’s what PHOENIX’s mission was all about.”
Jacob felt better opening up to Michelle about the guilt he harbored for so long. If he revealed that secret to her, he might as well open up to her about everything. “I had another reason to leave PHOENIX and come home. I thought I could recapture a part of my life I walked away from years ago.”
Michelle was ready to leave and give the commander some time alone, but she wasn’t going anywhere now. He had her complete attention. “What was it?”
“I was married. My wife gave birth to a baby just before I joined The EXODUS Project. The opportunity was too good to pass up. I knew the ship would someday launch and I would be on it.”
Michelle got what Jacob was getting at. “You never told her the project’s goal?”
Jacob hung his head in shame. “I told her it was just a temporary assignment and I’d be back home. When I left PHOENIX, I looked her up. I found out she had divorced me while I was with the project. I learned she sent countless messages to me. She never knew I never received them for security purposes.”
Michelle couldn’t believe what the commander had given up. “And your baby?”
“He’ll be fifteen soon. He has a good life. His mom’s remarried, and her husband provides them a good life.”
It stunned Michelle to hear how much the commander was willing to give up for something he believed in. She, like most TERRA officers, felt the PHOENIX crew were opportunists willing to sacrifice the human race for their own self-interests. Hearing the commander’s story, Michelle realized for the first time that each PHOENIX crew member gave something up in order to pursue something they believed would benefit humanity. Their gamble paid off.
“I don’t think I could have done what you did,” Michelle admitted. “Risking my career, giving up a family…I don’t have that strong of a constitution.”
“Believe me, if I could do it all over again, I would have never joined the project. I gave up too much. Now I have to live with the consequences of my choices.”
Michelle wanted to offer him some hope. “It’s not too late. You can still be a part of your son’s life.”
Jacob dismissed that notion. “He’s never even seen me. For all I know he thinks his stepdad is his new dad, and who knows what my ex has told him. No, I accepted that part of my life is gone forever. I’ve learned to live with my decisions.”
Michelle wasn’t convinced that was true. “Don’t be so quick to give up on a relationship with your son. You never know unless you go and find out. If it’s worth anything, I’m glad you opened up to me. I only wish I had someone to go back to.”
“You don’t have anyone?” Jacob asked.
Michelle laughed, partially to break up the somber mood. “Please! I’ve been in more bad relationships than anyone I know. The only thing I’ve got waiting for me back home is a dead cat I stuffed and mounted over the fireplace.”
Jacob couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry, chief, but that’s pretty bad.”
Michelle continued laughing. “Better a dead cat than some whining dependent boyfriend constantly bitching that I’m never around. Snuggles is way better of a conversationalist, even though it’s one way.”
Jacob had to hold his stomach from laughing so hard. After a good minute of laughter, he managed to calm down. “Thanks, chief. You made me feel so much better.”
Michelle smiled. “It’ll be okay. No matter how things play out, I’ve got hope we’ll make it back.”
Jacob didn’t have her optimism but was willing to hold onto it. Their talk gave him a bit of inspiration. “Inform the crew I’ll be making an announcement at 0800 hours.”
“I will,” Michelle promised as she got up. “Good night, commander.”
Jacob laid on his bed after the chief left. He closed his eyes and saw all those faces of the friends he lost on PHOENIX, but this time he didn’t try to push those images out of his mind. He welcomed their faces, as well as the hurt of losing them. As he drifted off to sleep, tears streamed down his face as he thought about his son.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
It was almost 0800 hours. David arrived at the mess hall later than he had planned. He overslept, having stayed up late working. After the team finished repairing the communications dish the night before, David reviewed the sensor data on the probe. He focused on what he learned was a communications stream from the probe to the planetary object. He figured it might be important to discover what it sent back to the planet. Sure enough, his instincts were on the mark. He took his findings to Commander Diego to review.
After grabbing his breakfast t
ray, David looked around and was relieved to find Fotell sitting by herself at one of the circular tables. There weren’t a lot of people in the mess hall. Many of the crew elected to stay in their quarters, eat rations, and catch up on sleep. David wasn’t interested in mingling with any other crew member and found the vacant mess hall a relief. The Senfo was the only officer he was comfortable being social with.
Fotell was busy reviewing SOLARA’s hull damage and coming up with ideas on how to expedite repairs as David approached her. “Good morning,” David greeted her as he sat down.
Fotell smiled as she saw the communications officer. “Greetings, Lieutenant Block.”
Her demeanor put him instantly at ease. If anyone could smile given their current situation, then maybe things weren’t as dire as they seemed. “I hope you got a good night’s sleep.”
“I sleep very little,” Fotell replied.
David assumed it was a trait of the Senfo. “Lucky for your race you don’t have to sleep much. I need eight hours a night. Otherwise, I can’t function.”
“My race requires oonka muv for sleep,” Fotell clarified. “I have not slept the required amount each cycle since emerging from stasis. The thought of sleep…is disconcerting to me.”
David got the sense it was rooted in her losing her family and he chose not to inquire more about it. It was best to stick to the business at hand. “We should get the dish’s alignment completed by 1300 hours.”
“I saw the report. It will be a great relief to all of us to contact the alliance. I have been reviewing the hull damage and cannot come up with any means to expedite the repairs of SOLARA. Lieutenant Jonas was correct. We need the resources of external facilities to repair this vessel.”
David hated the thought that they couldn’t get the ship fixed up, but they didn’t need to. They just had to repair enough of the hull to jump the ship safely. “We’ll get back to our galaxy. Everyone here is working overtime to get us back. It’ll happen.”
The Jumpgate Page 15