“Care for a night of my time?” a woman asked as she sidled up to him and reached for his arm. She was, he admitted, very attractive with lush lips, a full figure, and long, silky dark hair.
“Back off!” Katie warded the woman off with a vicious glare and grabbed Gerald’s hand. “Come on. We need to get out of here. If we’re not careful they’ll rob us blind.” She huffed angrily. “You’d be amazed by how many women just throw themselves at my master. If I wasn’t there to scare them off, we’d never get any work done.”
As Katie dragged him away from the house of ill repute, much to the amusement of several women who had been watching, he took a few moments to consider her words. Timmy was handsome enough, and he carried himself with obvious confidence. It wouldn’t be unexpected for women to assume he was wealthy and powerful, and they would be right. Regardless of his legal status, Timmy was the Lord of Black Tower Castle, one of the most infamous strongholds in Everton and a Grand Necromancer of considerable power. Still, the thought of Katie scaring off women brought a smile to his lips. The little girl could certainly be quite ferocious when she put her mind to it, and there was no way she’d tolerate any women who couldn’t at least appreciate a good zombie.
“I should watch where I’m going,” Gerald said. “This wasn’t what I had in mind for my walk.”
After escaping several more women, they made their way back to safer territory in the form of a fish and seafood market. As Gerald had expected, it was absolutely bustling with activity since the Shimmering Isles was renowned for the quality of its seafood, and fish was a cornerstone of the local diet. Since seafood could be preserved with the right magic and some ice, he wasn’t surprised to see traders from other nations wandering around in search of seafood to stock up on before making the journey home. There were plenty of fish that were only bountiful in and around the islands, and some more exotic varieties could only be found in a few select areas. A canny trader could pay a moderate sum here and then charge an exorbitant one upon returning home.
“What are you looking for?” Gerald asked as Katie roamed through the fish market.
“Have you ever heard of the tropical spike fish?”
Gerald searched his mind for an answer but drew a blank. However, he knew Katie, which meant he could draw several conclusions. “Can I assume that it is either poisonous, vicious, or otherwise capable of killing people?”
Katie laughed. It was a sound full of childish glee, but it was accompanied by a far more worrying smile. That was Timmy’s smile – the one the necromancer wore whenever he had come up with a particularly nefarious plan. It was startling to realise how similar some of their expressions were despite them not being related by blood. “The tropical spike fish is arguably the most poisonous fish in the entire world. If you’re unfortunate enough to eat one without properly removing the poison sacs and cooking the flesh, you’ll most likely be dead within twenty seconds.”
Gerald gaped. “Why would they sell that at a fish market? Are they trying to kill people?”
Katie laughed again and shook her head. “It’s actually a delicacy. Apart from being ridiculously poisonous, it is also ridiculously tasty. It’s been considered a national speciality for hundreds of years, and the mark of a true chef here is the ability to prepare a tropical spike fish for safe consumption while accentuating its flavour.”
“Have you ever eaten any?” Gerald asked curiously.
Katie shook her head and gave him a flat look. “No. And I don’t think I ever will. My master has a saying: there are plenty of things out there that want to kill you. Don’t give them any help, and don’t do them any favours.”
“Ah. Wise words.” Gerald chuckled nervously. Despite his occupation – or perhaps because of it – Timmy could be incredibly pragmatic. Oh, he took plenty of risks, but those were calculated risks. Like any good gambler, Timmy knew when to go all in and when to fold. “So why are you getting some? Is it for Spot? He can’t be poisoned, right?”
“Technically, you can still poison Spot, but there are hardly any poisons in the world that will work, and even those will stop working as he gets older and bigger. I will be getting a few for Spot – I think he’ll enjoy them – but most of them will be for one of my projects.”
“Are you going to make a zombie tropical spike fish?” Gerald paused, and his brows furrowed. “Because if it has to get eaten to poison things, it doesn’t sound very useful.”
Katie nodded. “You’re right. A zombie that only does anything if it gets eaten would be pointless since almost nothing wants to eat a zombie.” She lowered her voice. “But as you know, my master has a broad array of expertise, and I read a lot. We recently came up with an idea involving the poison of the tropical spike fish, but we haven’t been able to test it yet.”
“Why do I have the feeling that I’m about to be terrified?” Gerald asked. The rat on his shoulder snickered. He was one of the more knife-happy rats, so Gerald wasn’t the least bit surprised to find out he was in favour of working with some of the world’s deadliest poison.
“It is actually really simple. The poison used by the tropical spike fish can only be ingested if the flesh or the poison sacs are consumed without proper preparation. However, after careful research, my master and I realised it might be possible to aerosolise the poison.”
“You can make it into a gas?” Gerald froze and had to utter a hasty apology when the people behind him had to stop as well. “How deadly is it?” he squeaked as he forced himself to resume walking. Frankly, it sounded horrific.
“It depends. Making the poison airborne definitely lowers its potency, but it’s already so deadly that it might not matter much in the grand scheme of things. Killing in a matter of minutes isn’t the same as killing in seconds, but it’s usually good enough. Moreover, the poison used by tropical spike fish isn’t uniform. It’s a cocktail of multiple toxins, all of which are designed to target different groups.”
“What do you mean?”
“The bodies of humans, goblins, dwarves, elves, and so on have many superficial similarities – one head, two arms, two legs, and so on – but they are also different in some very important ways. For example, elves have far keener vision and senses than humans, and dwarves are known for their immense strength and endurance relative to their size. As necromancers, my master and I have both studied the anatomy of all the different races. The vital systems and key tissues vary from race to race, and for reasons that only the gods know, the tropical spike fish has different toxins to target each particular group. If you could separate those toxins and extract them, you’d have a poison that targets certain species over others. For example, if you had a problem with marauding orcs, you could tailor the poison to affect them more than humans. Sure, humans would still be affected. They would probably be puking all over the place, but they wouldn’t be dead. The orcs, well, they would be dead. Very dead.”
Gerald considered the implications. A species-differentiating poison that could be deployed as a gas sounded terrifying. Worse, his mind had already identified multiple ways it could be abused as a weapon. If he could imagine these things, then people like Katie and Timmy must already have come up with far scarier ideas. He could also imagine less scrupulous people using it to target groups they didn’t like. “That’s… horrifying.”
“It is,” Katie admitted. Her expression was serious. “But my master and I can both see the potential benefits. It’s not like we’d be using it randomly, and the process is extremely complicated and esoteric – assuming it even works – so I doubt anyone else could reverse engineer it unless they got hold of our notes, and it still wouldn’t be easy. But if the castle is ever attacked, or we have to go on a mission where we’re horribly outnumbered…”
Gerald could already see it in his mind’s eye: clouds of deadly gas spilling across the battlefield as their opponents tried to fend off wave after wave of zombies. Zombies, of course, did not need to breathe, and every enemy that fell would only add to t
heir numbers. “Remind me never to make you mad.”
“Don’t be silly, Gerald. We’re friends. You don’t have to worry about me going after you unless you secretly turn evil or something.”
“Well, I’m certainly not planning on turning evil.”
They finally managed to find a store that sold tropical spike fish, and the vendor was both pleased and terrified when Katie immediately offered to purchase every fish he had in stock. Of course, buying them required a licence. The fish could be used to make deadly poisons, after all, and letting an untrained chef prepare them would lead to disaster. However, Katie had already managed to obtain a licence, probably because she’d expected an opportunity like this to arise after they rescued the princess. She was even happier to pick up some live specimens.
“I’d like to breed them,” she confessed to Gerald. “There are individual differences in poison strength although all of them are deadly, so I’m hoping we can develop an especially potent bloodline. They don’t normally take to captivity well, but I think we can handle that if we make a giant pond for them or something.” She smiled at one of the fish in the large tank. Gerald could store it away with his magic until they got back to the castle. “Besides, they’re pretty cute.”
Gerald and Rembrandt shared a look. He and the rat the both agreed the fish in the tank were not cute. The average tropical spike fish was roughly a foot long, covered in spikes, and had a face that looked as though it were permanently set into a baleful glare. “I’m not sure,” Gerald said at last. “They all look kind of mean.”
Katie tapped the tank, and the evil fish glared even harder. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re adorable although I wish they weren’t so expensive.”
“Do you really need so many?” Gerald asked. “Couldn’t you – ah!”
The fish had leapt out of the tank and come within an inch or two of his head before Katie’s shadows had reached out to stop it. The malevolent creature thrashed in a vain bid to escape, and Gerald hastily backed away as Katie put it back into the tank.
“Is… is that normal?” Gerald asked the owner of the store.
The portly man laughed. “See this?” He held up a shovel-like tool. “We use this to scoop them up off the ground and put them back in the tank. They’re vicious, and while being hit by their spikes isn’t usually fatal, it is extremely painful.” He smirked. “But they only leap out of the tank at people they like. Congratulations, my friend. That one likes you.”
“See?” Katie said. “I told you they were cute. He’s just trying to be friendly. You don’t have to stand so far away.”
Gerald winced as the fish glared at him from inside the tank. He was definitely going to keep his distance. “No. I think I’ll stay over here where it’s safe.” He shuddered. “But why do you need so many?”
“The quantity of poison in each fish is fairly low, but we can counter that by putting them into composite zombies with a hydra base. If you make them properly, hydra-based zombies pass on their enhanced regeneration to all of the components, so we should be able to get the poisons sacs to replenish more quickly than normal. But if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to use a lot of fish to get a viable amount of poison for our experiments.” Katie shrugged. “And breeding them will take a while. They only spawn once or twice a year, and they won’t spawn at all until we’ve got them somewhere comfortable with enough space and the right temperature.” She made a face. “I’m going to have to dig up the runes and seals used for fish tanks and ponds. You’d be amazed by how many there are, but using more general-purpose runes and seals might kill the fish, and I don’t know when we’ll be back here to get more.”
“Where will you build your pond?” Gerald asked. Building was probably the right word. Depending on the size of the pond, they could have Timmy do it, or the demolition rats could use another one of their large-scale explosives to add another lake to the landscape around the castle.
“I was thinking of putting it in one of my bigger labs, but they probably need regular sunlight. There are some courtyards we don’t use a lot, so I could get my master to extend one and convert the garden there to a big pond. It might be easier to make it outside the castle, but then we’d have to worry about villagers or travellers accidentally eating some of them.”
“It’s good that you’re being considerate.” Quite frankly, he had a hard time believing anyone could look at the mean, vicious fish in the tank and think they were fit for consumption. As though it could sense his scrutiny, the fish from before leapt out of the tank again. To his amazement, it almost managed to reach him before Katie again caught it. “Ah!” He jabbed one finger at the fish. “Did you see that? It’s trying to kill me!”
“Gerald, you heard the owner of the store. It’s only trying to be friendly.”
Gerald gulped. “Let’s finish our purchase.” They haggled a bit, but Katie’s heart wasn’t in it. After paying a princely sum for the fish, Gerald put everything away with his magic. “Where should we go next?”
They spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the marketplace. As expected of a nation known for its merchants and traders, there were things here from every corner of the world, and the sheer number of exotic goods was truly impressive. Gerald was particularly pleased to pick up a calligraphy set from the distant east. He’d seen examples of the art form, and he was curious to see if it could be used to embellish the writing used in Everton as well. He would have to ask Old Man for help. The swordsman had never stated it outright, but his appearance and choice of weaponry all suggested he hailed from that part of the world.
There was also silk paper and other delights, and Gerald happily added them to his collection too. For her part, Katie was more focused on obtaining souvenirs or items to help with her projects. The rats made their fair share of purchases too, using either him or Katie as proxies since most merchants were reluctant to deal with rodents. Rembrandt was the proud owner of a new eye patch when they left. He liked to keep spares on hand at all times, and he even had a different one for when he slept. It made Gerald wonder what had happened to his eye. Was it missing or damaged? Or was he concealing something else entirely?
When they arrived back at the palace, Spot was there to greet them with a happy cry. Nobody had enjoyed the meals at the palace more than the dragon, and he had savoured every fresh, new delicacy with obvious delight, which had endeared him to the chefs once they realised they were safe from his potential wrath.
You’re back! The dragon flapped his wings and then bounded over to them. Did you bring me anything? There was a hopeful expression on his face that would have been utterly heart-warming if it hadn’t highlighted the size of his teeth so well.
“As a matter of fact…” Katie nodded, and Gerald produced one of the tropical spike fish. Katie used some of her shadows to hand it to Spot. “This is a tropical spike fish, Spot. It is supposed to be super tasty.” The dragon lunged at it, but Katie stopped him. “Listen very carefully. This is really important.” Spot stopped struggling when he realised she was serious. “It is extremely poisonous, Spot. If anyone else eats it, they are going to die. Do you understand? You can’t share this with Chomp or your mother or anyone else. It will kill them. However, you will be fine. Okay?”
Because I’m a dragon, right? Spot sniffed at the fish and chortled at its wickedly sharp spikes. He gave it a small bite and then trilled in delight. It’s so tasty! His wings beat the air furiously, and he looked about furtively. I really don’t have to share?
“I meant what I said. It is ultra poisonous. Do not give any of it to anyone else.”
Yay! Although Spot didn’t usually mind sharing a bit of his food with people he considered friends – albeit while grumbling the whole time – he was still a dragon. There was a part of him that would always bristle at people trying to take anything he thought of as his. He began to slowly eat the fish, careful to savour each and every bite. It’s really good!
“I’m glad you like it.�
�� Katie scratched his head, mindful to keep clear of his mouth. “When you’re done eating it, don’t forget to wash your mouth out with your fire. In fact, do it three times and then wash your mouth out with water. You wouldn’t want to accidentally poison someone by licking them, would you?”
Spot shook his head and went back to eating the tropical spike fish as Katie and Gerald continued into the castle. There was a large, flat rock near the dragon, and he would likely bask on it once he was done eating. There was a python there, but the snake would undoubtedly take one look at Spot and realise that discretion was the better part of valour.
“He certainly enjoyed the tropical spike fish,” Gerald said.
“He did.” Katie looked around at the beautiful, idyllic gardens. “I wonder if we’ll have more time to relax while we’re here. We’ve been very busy lately, so I wouldn’t mind a trip to the beach.” Her eyes gleamed, and she punched the air. “This time, I’ll beat my master at building sandcastles. I’ve been practicing, so there’s no way I can lose!”
Gerald didn’t have the heart to tell her that based on her prior defeats, the only way she was going to beat Timmy was if he got supremely drunk or if he decided to let her win, neither of which were very likely. “Good luck,” he said instead.
Katie huffed and shook her fist at the sky. “I’ll beat him one day!”
Given that Timmy was a man who used a shovel for a weapon and had earth magic capable of manipulating sand, Gerald doubted it. However, he was too polite to say anything. Hopefully, things wouldn’t get too out of hand since knowing Katie, she would end up recruiting Avraniel and Spot to help her, and the trio had not accepted their defeat gracefully the last time they’d faced Timmy.
* * *
Old Man adjusted his hat ever so slightly to keep the sun out of his eyes. They would be leaving the Shimmering Isles soon, so Timmy had decreed – most likely after substantial badgering from Avraniel – that they would be spending some time at the beach. Now, Old Man liked the beach. He’d spent plenty of his time there in his youth, but he was getting on in years. Frolicking in the waves was something for younger men to indulge in, possibly with a comely paramour. His frolicking days were long gone. Instead, he was content to lounge about and people watch.
Two Necromancers, a Dwarf Kingdom, and a Sky City Page 27