by Harlow Layne
“What do you want me to say?”
“For starters, why haven’t you answered any of my calls or texts?” I didn’t want to pick a fight with the off chance she might hang up on me, but I needed answers and now might be my only chance at getting them.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” She sounded exasperated. Or it could have been my imagination.
“You’re not a liar. I know that, so tell me why. I’ve got nothing but time in here.”
“How long do you have?”
Was she wondering how long she’d have to be on the line with me in case I freaked out again?
“An hour and twenty minutes. Give or take,” Kaspar chimed in. “I’m sorry to eavesdrop, but I have to hold the phone up.”
“Kaspar, buddy, I don’t care if you’re breathing down the line. You got my woman on the phone, so I didn’t completely lose my shit. It means the world to me.” I took another corner and watched as a car tried to overtake me in my periphery. I wasn’t going to let another motherfucker get ahead of me. Now was my time to start making up ground; now that I was back to myself and had Aspen on the line.
He cleared his throat, and that was all I got. Kaspar was a stoic man, and he’d never let on that what I’d said affected him when I knew it did.
“It was one thing after another that snowballed into a shitstorm.” I wanted to laugh at her choice of words, but I refrained. I would listen to every syllable she spoke for as long as I could. “First, my layover in New York was delayed by a day because of weather. My phone was dead before we left, and my charger was in my suitcase, so I couldn’t charge it up. Somehow my phone broke. I don’t know how it happened, but it wouldn’t turn on.” She let out a frustrated sigh so loud I could hear it. “When I got home almost three days later, my phone still wouldn’t turn on. I spent a day with online customer service with them trying to fix it to no avail. Finally, they told me to take it into the store, which I did, only for them to say it was completely dead and I needed a new phone. You’d think it would be as simple as that, but no, it wasn’t.”
Even though I hated hearing her trouble, I loved listening to her. I wasn’t sure what it was about Aspen that made everything right in my world, but I would be eternally grateful she came into my life and for Kaspar giving me this.
She continued on with all the trouble she’d had and why I hadn’t heard from her. “So, I have insurance on my phone, and they had to send me a new one. I’m sure you’re wondering why then didn’t I answer any of your calls or messages. Because it got lost. Can you believe that shit? Here I am waiting around without any way to contact you, and it gets lost in the ether. When it didn’t come, I went back to the store, and they said I had to wait another forty-eight hours before they could reissue me a new phone. When I finally got the bastard, it wouldn’t charge. It was seriously one thing after the other. But I finally have a new phone that works, and now I’m talking to you.”
“I thought you never wanted to talk to me again when you weren’t responding to all my text messages and calls. I was prepared to fly to Spain once my final race was over and beg you to hear me out.”
“Hmm,” she hummed. “I kind of like the idea of you down on your knees begging me.”
And I liked it when she was down on her knees with my cock in her mouth. The sight of her pretty pink lips becoming swollen as she sucked me off, and it was even better when she took me down her throat. My cock thickened at the visual—like it did anytime I thought of Aspen.
“Why do I feel like you’re holding something back?” I asked as I took a corner and sped up coming out.
“Alejandro showed up at my apartment. I’m not sure how he knew I was in town, but he did.” I heard her take a deep breath. “He… he had a lot of questions about us. Questions he had no right to demand answers to. Our fighting got so loud my neighbor called the police, and they escorted him out of there.”
She was quiet for a few moments.
“Are you okay? Did he lay a hand on you?” I growled out. I would fly to Barcelona the second I got out of my car, find him, and beat the shit out of him if he hurt her.
“No, but it was scary for a moment before the police showed up. Since then, he’s stayed away. Enough about me, how are you? I’ve been so worried about how you’d do racing.” There was a pregnant pause. “Even though I know you can do it without me.”
“I hate to break it to you, Doc, but today proved otherwise. I’m fucked in the head.”
“You aren’t, Cal. You have it in your head that you need to hear my voice when you start to panic and when you knew you couldn’t and were triggered, you didn’t cope. But I know you can. I wish I wasn’t forced to leave, but I wouldn’t change anything. I’m thankful for our time together and always will be.”
Why did it sound like I’d never see her again? Didn’t she hear me when I said I’d fly to Spain and track her down?
“I should have continued to treat you as my patient, and maybe you’d be able to cope better without me there.”
Wanting to change the subject because I did not like the words coming out of her mouth, I said. “I’m sorry to hear you had such a shit time with your phone, but I’m glad that’s the reason you weren’t answering me.”
When I talked to Aspen and drove, my body was on autopilot. It knew everything to do. When to decelerate, when I was about to take a corner and when to punch it as I came out of the corner. It wasn’t easy, and yet it was. It made no sense when normally I needed every ounce of my concentration.
There was a long pause where I could hear Kaspar breathing down the line. He sounded like a creeper, but it was funny. I never would have thought that my life would come down to having to hear a woman’s voice so I could continue on. Maybe it was a metaphor for my life because since she’d left, I’d barely lived.
“What have you been up to? What sights did you see? I’ve never been to Brazil.”
“I’ve been a sad sack of shit. All I’ve done is lay around my hotel room and do nothing. Next season you can come with me, and we’ll see all the amazing things Brazil and Sao Paulo have to offer.”
“Maybe.” Her one-word answer was unsure.
I didn’t like it one bit. “Have you thought any more about what I asked you before everything went to shit?”
“It’s practically all I’ve thought about when I wasn’t dealing with my phone.”
“I hate to interrupt what you’ve got going on here, but you’ve got five laps left and you’re in third place. You’re coming up on Alfonso now, and that will put you in second place.”
And just like that, Aspen and I were quiet as Kaspar directed me through the last few laps. I was disappointed that I came in second when I was only seconds away from placing first, but at the same time, I was beyond happy I even finished the race. If it wasn’t for Kaspar, I would’ve been lucky to make it into the pit without wrecking or stopping out on the track.
“Congratulations, Cal. I’ll talk to you later,” Aspen said quietly.
“Did she hang up?” I asked, already knowing the answer. I hadn’t gotten to say all the things I wanted to say. How had I gone this long without telling Aspen I loved her? She needed to know how much she meant to me and not because I couldn’t race without her. Now I couldn’t live without her. I’d only been existing until I met her, but she made me feel alive for the first time in years, and I wanted to do the same for her.
“That she did, buddy, but maybe it’s late there.” He was only looking for an excuse. Kaspar likely knew exactly what time it was in Spain.
“Thanks for looking out for me, man. If you ever need anything, and I mean anything, you let me know, and I’ll give it to you. You saved my ass today.”
“Will do, buddy.”
I wasn’t sure how I could convince Aspen to leave everything she’d worked so hard for behind so she could travel with me, but I was going to make a plan to see Aspen and have her by my side for the rest of my life.
14
Aspen
Monza, Italy
Kaspar waved me through a door and ushered me through another before he closed us into a room. “Here’s your headset. Do not say anything until I give you the code word.”
“And what’s the code word?” I kept myself from smiling. Kaspar had helped me get into Cal’s hotel room by romancing one of the maids, and now he was hiding me until the race started. I wanted to surprise Cal but wasn’t sure at first how I wanted to do it. Did I want to be waiting for him in his hotel room when he finally got done for the day, here at the race, or at his place in Malibu? The race won out. I didn’t want to risk my phone having bad reception or anything else of that nature if he needed me today. Either way, I was sure he was going to be surprised when he saw me standing in the pit when the race was over.
“Liebling,” he answered with his German accent. Most of the time, it was easy to forget Kaspar was German; he spoke English so well and with very little accent but not when he said that word.
I wondered why he chose that word to use. “What’s it mean?”
“Honey, darling,” he shrugged his broad shoulders. “I must go before I am missed.”
“Thanks for doing this, Kaspar.” I wrapped my arms around his middle and gave him a quick hug. I was overcome with happiness and how much he cared about Cal.
“Anything for you, Miss Aspen.” He patted my back before quickly pulling away and slipping out the door.
I knew it was only a matter of minutes before the race began, so I turned on the TV that was in the room and sank back into the cushions of the couch.
How Kaspar got me a suite without anyone knowing it was for me, I’d probably never know, but I couldn’t imagine being stuck inside a room and not knowing what was going on.
I started up at the black screen, waiting for it to flicker on. It would only come on once the cars were on the grid. When it did, I jumped up from my seat and moved closer to the screen so I could find where Cal was in the lineup. His car was easy to spot. It was mostly green with some white and the number eleven on it. My heart soared at seeing it. It had only been a month since I’d last saw his handsome face, but it felt like an eternity. The next two hours couldn’t pass by fast enough. When I last saw Cal, he’d been just as devastated by my having to leave as I was. I hadn’t been able to get his defeated look out of my head the entire time we’d been apart, and after hearing his voice on the phone during his last race, I knew what I had to do.
We’d talked a few times over the last two weeks, but something felt off. Maybe it was me and the plans I made without him knowing, or it could have been Cal realized he didn’t need me any longer. I could be conferenced in at any location and not travel with him. I wasn’t sure, but I hoped it wasn’t the latter because I had turned my life upside down since the last race I’d been to for the man I now knew I couldn’t live without.
The countdown began, making my pulse skyrocket. The beginning always had my nerves on edge with the cars moving so close to each other and looking as if they were about to careen into the one next to it. Formula One racing was a dangerous business, and I knew if I spent the rest of my life by Cal’s side, I’d always be scared about the possibility he could be seriously hurt or killed.
For the next hour and a half, I stood with my eyes plastered to the television screen in front of me, watching only Cal’s car. I listened in on the headset, and then I heard it. He mumbled something unintelligible, and his breathing sped up. I searched the screen for what could have possibly set him off but found nothing.
“Liebling,” Kaspar said, cueing me to speak.
“You’re safe,” I softly said into the mic.
Cal’s breath ratcheted up a notch before I heard it slow down into nothingness. Only two words from me and he was fine. I wasn’t sure if I should say more or not since I wanted it to be a surprise I was there, so I stayed quiet on my end and continued to listen carefully in case he needed me again.
Kaspar did his job, talking to Cal about what was happening with the car, his laps, and what place he was in. He was currently in second place and gearing up to take first place when the first-place car flew off the track and slammed into the guardrail. It put Cal in first, but I wasn’t sure where it put him mentally.
“Fucking hell, that guy. What was he thinking? Dumbass” was all he said. Not once after the wreck of his opponent did he seem to have a hard time. I was elated for him to not need me more, and at the same time, wondered if it would mean he was done with me. I hated being an insecure woman, but we’d felt so off these last two weeks, I wasn’t sure what to think anymore. I vowed right then I would tell him everything once I saw him. I couldn’t hide what I’d been planning any longer.
“You’ve got it, Crew. Only two more laps to go, and you’re this season’s champion.” I could hear how proud Kaspar’s was in his elated voice.
I stumbled back to the couch and sat as I watched the rest of the race unfold, with Cal being the first to cross the finish line as the checkered flag waved. Everyone on the headset cheered and congratulated Cal on his win. Unable to wait any longer, I ran out of the room and down to the pit, where the entire team was patting each other on the back as they moved down to the podium. Time seemed to slow down and sped up all at once as everyone waited for the winners to move up onto the podium.
The moment Cal stood in the first-place spot, I started to push my way through the crowd. The need to be close to him overtook me. He was the moon to my tide. The wind under my wings and nothing could hold me back. I didn’t care that almost everyone was bigger than me, jostling me around and nearly pitching me to the ground. I was a woman on a mission, and the closer I got to Cal, my body trembled in anticipation.
Everyone was screaming and cheering as the announcer called out the third and second place winners, and when he announced Callum Crew as the winner of Formula One’s racing in two thousand and twenty-one, the crowd went wild. For a one moment, I was scared of what might happen to me, but as Cal popped the cork on his giant bottle of champagne and sprayed it into the crowd, he spotted me. I wasn’t sure about him, but my world stood still as our eyes locked from fifty feet away.
Cal handed the bottle to the second-place winner without breaking eye contact with me before he jumped down from the podium and strode toward me. People were trying to catch his attention, but he only had eyes for me as they touched, groped, and screamed that they loved him. I wanted to move to him, but I was stuck in place. My body would not respond no matter how much I begged it to move.
I didn’t have to wait long, though. One second he was up above the crowd, and the next Cal took me in his arms and crashed his lips to mine.
If I thought the crowd was loud before, it was nothing like the uproar they emitted at seeing their winner kissing a woman. Our bodies were jostled to the side by one rambunctious fan, causing our mouths to break apart, but our bodies were stuck to each other like conjoined twins.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he yelled over the noise. “Were you here earlier when you—”
“Yes,” I yelled, interrupting him. “I wanted to surprise you. Kaspar helped.”
His arms crushed me tighter to his long, lean body as he spoke into my ear. “This is one hell of a surprise, Doc. It’s better than winning the season.”
“Really?” I asked, pulling back to look up at him with a smile that stretched from ear to ear at hearing his words.
He pulled me back into him as if he couldn’t stand the thought of even an inch separating us. “Best surprise of my life. Except maybe meeting you.”
My fingers of their own volition tangled in his hair. “You’re one smooth talker, Mr. Crew,” I purred in his ear.
“What do you say we get out of here?” he asked but was already pulling me away from the large crowd before I could answer.
“What about celebrating your big win?”
“I have a different kind of celebration in mind. One where I don’t want any witnesses.” His hand tight
ened around mine as we moved through the crowd that parted for him as if he was a god. And he was to them—and me as well. Cal had overcome unsurpassable odds earlier this season to come out on top as the champion.
His crew clapped him on the back as we passed by, but when he spotted Kaspar, Cal stopped in front of him, pulling me to his side. “Fuck man, you’re going to have me in your debt for the rest of my life.”
I swore I saw Kaspar’s stubbly cheeks pink up at Cal’s words. He pulled Cal into a manly hug and clapped him hard on the back before he said something only for them to hear. When they pulled apart, Kaspar tipped his head to me as I was whisked away down the corridor to where a car was waiting for Cal.
For a brief moment, I wondered how long the driver sat waiting for Cal. That was until Cal pulled me into the back of the waiting car and onto his lap. My arms circled his broad shoulders. It wasn’t until that moment, as I took in his tired face, that tears welled in my eyes, and I realized how much I’d missed him over the last month.
Cal had some stubble on his face as if he couldn’t be bothered to shave after he woke up this morning. His eyes were bloodshot, and his cheeks were sunken in only a slight bit, but I could tell. He’d lost weight during our time apart.
His eyes were taking in my appearance at the same time. Every few seconds, they landed on my mouth before he moved on. “Damn woman, you’re a sight for sore eyes. You’re so goddamn beautiful.”
My fingers ran through the growth on his face. “You look good too, but also tired.”
He shifted until I was straddling his lap, and his arms were a steel band around my back. “I haven’t been able to sleep without you beside me. It didn’t feel right.” I felt the same way. “Tell me I’ve got you for more than tonight.”
“For as long as you want me.” I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell him what I’d set into motion now that the time had come.
Leaning forward, he rested his forehead to mine. Our gazes locked on the other. “I was going to fly to you.” His hand snaked up between the fabric of my shirt and my bare back. “Find out where you lived and not leave until you agreed to be mine.” Those fingers started to slowly draw circles on my back. “I should have said something before you left, but I was in shock that Colton was sending you away, and I felt so damn guilty, I could barely utter a word. And then the whole fiasco with your phone.” He shrugged. “Something felt off. I didn’t want to say anything over the phone, so I held my tongue waiting until I could see you again.”