“Did you hear, Casey?” Mrs. Farrell interrupts. “We’re shipping the mums out of state now. At the rate we’re selling them, at we might actually have to expand.”
“That’s good news,” I say, watching out of the corner of my eye as Carley retreats back into herself. But I’m determined.
The conversation revolves around the new sales for a bit. It’s good that they’re doing so well. The Farrell’s flowers really are beautiful, and they deserve all the success for that.
And then it shifts to the fireworks and carnival taking place in their fields. It happens the day before Christmas, so we’re only two days away now. “It’s been a while since you were here for the fireworks.” I direct my words toward Carley. “Are you excited to be here for them?”
“It’s going to be amazing this year,” Jessica says, not giving Carley a chance to speak. “There are brand new vendors coming in from all over the state.”
“I agree,” says Mrs. Farrell. “Should be the best fireworks yet.”
I frown. They were trying to keep her out of the conversation. Actively. What the fuck?
At the very least, Jack was right, and the chili is very good. A couple times more I try to bring Carley into the conversation, but I’m shut down at every turn. Jack notices it too—I see it on his face—but he doesn’t step in to do anything. Maybe he doesn’t want to cause her any embarrassment during the family meal.
The food is delicious, but by the time the meal is over, I’m ready to leave. And I want Carley to come with me.
“Thank you all very much for the food. I’ve got to make a few deliveries around town before I feed the cattle tonight.” I look over at her. “You want to come with? See a few familiar faces?”
Carley hesitates, and I think that she’s going to turn me down. But then her mother looks at me with disgust. She’s clearly not happy that I’m here, and even less happy that I’m asking her daughter to come on a drive—even though that part will be entirely innocent. “She’s busy,” Mrs. Farrell said. “We’re baking things for the fireworks.”
I watch Carley look at her mother and straighten her shoulders. “Actually, I would love to come, thank you for offering.”
“All right, let’s get going.” I hide my smile because Mrs. Farrell looks like she’s about to have a fit but can’t because I’m company. But I’m grateful she tried to stop Carley. If she hadn’t, she might have said no. Now I have a chance.
Carley grabs her coat and we head outside to my truck. It’s already loaded with the firewood for my deliveries. I did that this morning.
“Ready for an adventure?” I ask her with a grin.
“I’m ready to get the hell out of here for a while.”
I nod. “I kind of figured.”
“Where are we going?” she asks when we’re fully out of the driveway.
“Wood delivery,” I say, jerking my thumb toward the back of the truck. “I don’t even remember how it started really. But I was in the habit of dropping off some wood to the older folks around town when it got cold, and then more and more people started asking me to do it and offering to pay. So I do it.”
“You split all the wood? That’s a lot of time.”
I smile. “It’s okay. I like it. Gives me a decent workout.”
“I don’t think you need more of that,” she says, finally smiling a little. “If you work out anymore, your muscles will simply take over the world.”
Pulling onto the highway, I head toward the town center and we sit in contented silence for a moment. “Do I want to ask why you weren’t in my bed when I woke up?”
Carley clears her throat. “I was worried—I didn’t want to get asked a lot of questions about why I was out if I came back after people already woke up.”
Her hands fidget in her lap, and though I can’t look over at her fully, I feel like there’s more to her answer than that. But given what I just saw at lunch, I don’t blame her for not wanting to get interrogated. It’s likely that Jessica and Mrs. Farrell would have been ruthless, even if she’d only said that she’d been out for a walk.
Our first stop is Mrs. Harlowe. She’s a sweet woman who pays me more in food than she does in money, but I’ve never minded. The woman makes the best cookies in this damn town.
She comes out onto the porch and waves. And then lights up when she sees Carley. “Oh my goodness, Carley Farrell. I heard you were back in town, but I didn’t think I’d see you till the fireworks.”
“Hi, Mrs. Harlowe.”
“Come here, let me look at you.”
Carley goes over to chat while I grab the wood from the back of the truck and stack it in the little shed by the wood stove that Mrs. Harlowe uses to heat her house.
“That city life must have done you good if you look like this,” I hear her say, and I glance at Carley to catch her turning pink.
“It’s good to be back home for a while.”
“Well give me a minute. I made something for Casey, but you make sure to take at least one for you, okay?”
She gives us an absolutely giant box of her cookies. The sugar kind with frosting that are legendary around Elgin. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Harlowe.”
“Not a problem at all,” she says, looking between the two of us. I see the glint in her eye. “How long are you staying in Elgin, Carley?”
“Oh, I’m not sure yet.”
I will not smile. I will not smile. I will not smile. She doesn’t realize that for the gossip mill, she just gave the absolutely worst answer. Mrs. Harlow just looks at us with a knowing smile. “Well you two have a good day. Enjoy the cookies and I’ll see you both at the fireworks.”
We do enjoy the cookies in the truck on the way to the next house, and I turn on the radio, music flickering through the static, but still good. Rock and a mix of other things.
Suddenly a pop song comes on and Carley’s face lights up. “I love this song!” Leaning over, she turns up the music and starts to sing with abandon and huge smile on her face. She has a beautiful voice, but it’s the joy that makes it hard for me to keep my eyes on the road. During lunch today, she looked small. Hunched over and drawn into herself. This person sitting next to me is completely different.
She’s free and alive and sparkling. This is the version of herself that she should always be without question. The feelings in my chest listening to her are impossible to ignore.
Every other stop is much the same. Carley charms our neighbors with smiles and catching up with them earnestly. She wants to know how they’re doing, and they’re happy to see her. Somehow she makes every one of them laugh. Even Mrs. Moore, whose frown is a permanent part of her expression.
Judging by the looks we keep getting, there’s going be rumors about the two of us all over Elgin by tomorrow morning. But with each minute that passes, I find that I care less and less. I want the rumors. Let everyone in the world think that Carley Farrell is my woman. Maybe the rumors will help make it actually true.
When we’re finally done with the deliveries and headed back toward our houses, I see Carley deflate a little again. I can’t imagine the idea of going back to where her mom and sister are actively trying to sabotage her is a fun one. My stomach is in knots, but I have to try.
Reaching across the cab, I take her hand in mine. “Do you want to help me feed the cows?”
I squeeze her hand before bringing it up to my lips, kissing her palm so that she knows that I’m asking a very different, more pleasurable question.
She hesitates before she sighs, relaxing. “Yes.”
All going to plan. My crazy plan that’s a little weird, but I’m hoping it will unlock that part of her that she keeps shut down. I want her to be as free as she was on that night all those years ago with me. As she was just now singing along to the radio.
I hand her a fresh set of ear plugs as we head into the barn, and I switch on the music. The songs in rotation are all classical, the ones that I could find that were the loudest and the most bombastic. I tried
traditional rock music at first, but the cattle didn’t like it. It made them just as agitated as the fireworks would have. So classical it was.
The song that comes on is one by Gustav Holst from the Symphonies of the Planets. I hold a hand up to Carley telling her to wait, and I feed the cows faster than I ever have in my life. As soon as they have their food, I grab her hand and lead her up the stairs into the hay loft.
I had a thought earlier that the music might be an interesting idea. No one will be able to hear us—not even the cows. She can scream as loud as she wants and not be embarrassed. She can let it all go.
The only prep I had time for was to bring a blanket from the house and lay it out. The heaters in the barn are more than enough to keep us warm. Carley stares at the blanket, and then at me. And for a heart stopping moment I think that I fucked it up. That this is too weird and she won’t love it. But then she smiles, and I pull her against me.
11
Carley
This might be the strangest thing I’ve ever done. Granted, in Tennessee it’s not all that strange to have sex in a barn, but with the music shaking the rafters…it’s different.
I can still hear the song through the ear plugs as it changes to something else. Something richer and darker and deeper, and it hits me in the gut. I can’t help but smile. I don’t care if it’s weird, there’s something cool and powerful about feeling the pure rumble of music in my body.
Casey crosses the small space between us and pulls me into a kiss like he’s been holding back all day. I think he has been. While we were out, I tried to ignore his eyes on me, but I felt him watching me when I wasn’t looking. And during lunch, when he tried to bring me into the conversation…
It was a good try. But they were never going to let him get away with that. Riding around with him too, it was nice to just be with him, and to see some of the people around town that I haven’t seen in years. It felt easy and natural with Casey. Like breathing. Like no time had passed since we were in high school and knew each other in that casual way that people who grow up together do.
The way that he’s kissing me now is anything but casual. It’s powerful and consuming. The confidence in this kiss takes any hesitation out of the question, because he has no questions. Casey wants this and he’s showing me exactly that.
He starts to undress me, and I let him. It’s fast and rough, tossing my clothes aside and then his own, so that we’re both naked in this barn and it’s so fucking weird and amazing that I can’t breathe. Casey sweeps me off my feet literally, drawing me up into his arms before laying me down on the blanket.
It’s thick and soft—I’m glad he thought ahead because this is cozy and splinters in my back don’t sound fun. But Casey is already overwhelming me and pushing those thoughts from my head. The vibrations from the music are so strong that I can’t hear anything. But the feeling is amazing.
His lips are on my skin, but I can’t hear him. I can only feel when he speaks against my neck. That low, secondary vibration just reaches down into me and turns me on. I like feeling him do that, and I want more. When I push on his chest to flip him over underneath me, he lets me.
While we were in bed the other night, he had a chance to explore all of me. And while I’ve already had his cock in my mouth, I didn’t have a chance to really look at him. I want to know every inch of his body.
I start at his mouth, kissing him exactly as I want. Casey is smiling under my lips, his entire expression playful. Daring me to do whatever I want.
Tyler never would have let me do this. He didn’t want me to do anything new or out of the ordinary. Nerves swim in my gut, but I keep going. Time to be brave, and his blue eyes on mine encourage me.
I press a kiss to Casey’s throat, feeling him moan under my lips. Fuck. Why does that drive me so crazy? Heat and desire swim through me, and I move down his body. I taste his skin, taking time to trace the lines of his muscles with my fingers and tongue. I graze my teeth across his nipples and feel him groan and shift. He’s holding back to let me do this, and I love it.
His cock is already fully erect, waiting for me. But I spend some time with his abs. They’re a fucking work of art, and I don’t ever want to stop touching them. I think if I really wanted to, I could do old-fashioned laundry by scrubbing the clothes down his stomach.
I run my fingers over the V that lines his hips, too, a growl building under his skin. I place my hand on his chest to feel the noise while I kiss my way down the line, closer and closer to him, until my lips touch the very base of his cock.
He moves without warning, pulling me up and flipping me over, thrusting into me in one stroke that makes my own moan fly out of me…and there’s no sound.
I knew it, but not hearing someone else’s voice and not hearing your own are two different things. No one will be able to hear me. No matter what I do. The thought of screaming just for the hell of it—not caring what I sound like while being fucked—is so appealing that I’m suddenly so, so much wetter.
Casey feels it, and smiles.
He thrusts in again, harder, and I let myself go, groaning loudly. It feels good. His smile grows bigger, and leaning forward, he puts his hand on my throat. I moan so he can feel the sound, and he loves it. I can see the look on his face. Neither of us need to hold back.
It’s like something is unlocked inside my brain. I feel so open and free. Nothing is holding me back. At all.
Casey starts fucking me, hard and deep, and I yell with the pleasure of it. I want him to feel me yell. God, every move he makes drags pleasure all the way through me and I can’t fucking breathe. I love it. I want more.
Grabbing Casey’s free hand, I bring it to my lips, and bite his finger gently. His rhythm falters and his eyes go dark with lust. I’ve imagined doing something like this—letting go and surrendering to instinct.
I pull Casey’s face down to mine and kiss him hard, biting his lip. He growls. I feel it, never stopping the movement of his hips. His fingers tighten on my throat, but he’s smiling.
My mind goes blank, and we move together. There’s no conscious thought in my movement, grasping Casey harder. Biting his skin where I can and sucking elsewhere, grabbing him hard and pulling him to me. Everything I’ve wanted. I’m barely a person, just a feral, primal creature acting on instinct only.
Casey loves it, giving it back to me. His teeth scrape my shoulders and my breasts, hands hold me down as he drives himself into me so deep that my eyes roll back, sending an earth-shattering orgasm ripping through me. I scream out my pleasure, reveling in the fact that no one can hear me do it.
He rolls me over and takes me from behind, hard and fast, not bothering to cover me or pin me down like the other night. This is just him taking. Nails scrape down my spine and I fuck back into him over and over again. I’m nothing but continuous pleasure. Fire and heat and light and screaming yes and letting myself be loud.
I spin and push him down onto the blanket, taking him deep and riding him. Harder, faster. Casey pulls me down to him, hands circling my throat as he licks my neck. I lose my hold on everything, vision going white as the orgasm takes me. Screaming again, I can only hold on to him. Somewhere out there I feel him come, shouting his release into the air, and I feel it in my chest before he lets me collapse across his chest.
It’s entirely possible that I don’t have any bones left in my body. That’s how it feels. I’m heaving in breaths, and Casey is too. His arms are around me, holding me to him while the music continues to wash over us in waves.
We listen as it comes to a resounding crescendo. A climax that shakes the entire building before it collapses into silence. The only sound that’s left is my own heart pounding in my ears. Still fast. Recovering from the time that it feels like I spent outside my body.
Casey moves just a little, raising his arms to take out his ear plugs. I do the same, and everything sounds normal and familiar. It’s the sounds of a barn. Chewing and shuffling. Stomping and the occasional low sound from one t
o the cows.
Slowly, he shifts out from underneath me so he can stretch out alongside me. One hand rests on my hip—like he’s afraid to be too far away. I’m okay with that. I don’t want to be far from him either. We’re both sweating from our efforts, now cooling a little even though it’s warm in the barn.
“Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” I ask, laughing. “That was the strangest…weirdest…” I laugh again. “I don’t even have words.”
“Good though, right?”
I smile up at him, nodding. “I’ve always wanted to do that. Just let go and be. Let instinct kind of take care of everything and just…yeah.”
Casey presses a kiss to my temple. “I’ve wanted to bring you up here for a long time. Ever since before the fireworks.”
“Really? You didn’t have the music back then.”
He laughs softly. “No, but here was the only place I could think of where neither of our families would think to look. And I just…wanted you. But I never thought it would be this perfect. Or loud.”
Lips caress my shoulder. And then my neck. Up to my jaw. The pleasure spills out from his lips, and from the way his fingers tug on my skin, I can tell that he’s about to go for round two. And God do I want that, but outside the walls of the barn I can see the sun slipping toward the horizon. “I should probably go. They’ll be having dinner soon. They might wonder where I am.”
He pulls my mouth to his. “Stay.” Just a single word, but desperate and powerful. “Have dinner with me. I’ll even cook for you.”
I laugh. “Are you any good? My father said he’d heard horror stories and I seem to remember something about the home ec room being set on fire junior year.”
“I’ve gotten better. For the most part. Kind of.”
The smile on my face is one that I can’t seem to hold back. I very much don’t want to go back to my parents’ house and face my mother and sister and the inevitable questions about why I took so long and what I did with Casey. I’m a bad liar, and they’ll know that something is up. “What about if I cook?”
Big Man’s Happily Ever After Page 41