“Yeah, but further down the lake.”
We quietly took in the beauty of nature. After a minute, I turned and found him staring at me.
I swallowed hard. “What?” My voice was shallow as I looked into the depths of his eyes. It was as if I didn’t realize how close we were standing to one another until we made eye contact.
“You’re beautiful.”
My heart beat faster. “Thank you.”
He took a step closer to me. “Do you mind if I touch you?”
My stomach flipped as anticipation ripped through me. “I don’t mind,” I murmured breathily.
He reached out, and the back of his hand grazed my cheek. “It really stands out in the sunlight,” he realized slowly. “You’re just naturally…this beautiful.”
I tried to steady my breathing as his fingers slowly hooked my chin. I licked my lips, and I watched as his eyes zeroed in on them. I felt like he was going to kiss me, and my heart sped up. My attraction to him was never as intense as it was in that moment.
He tilted my head upward and my lips parted instantly.
“Perfect. The way the light is hitting your face right now is perfect.” His voice was low, sexy. My eyes were just about to flutter closed when he continued. “I’m going to take some shots just like this.” He gently moved my chin in the other direction, away from his face. “Perfect. Can you change into the strapless shirt, so I can get some natural shots?”
I swallowed the desire that had bubbled up from the depths of me and tried to force it back down. Blinking rapidly, I avoided his gaze by turning toward my bag. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I, um, I got it. It’s in my bag.” I stammered as I flew across the room. “The bathroom is here? Yeah, I see it. Changing now.”
Closing the bathroom door behind me, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was flushed, wide-eyed, and terrified. I changed into the white tube top and cursed myself for not bringing the strapless bra. My nipples were hard as rocks. My mind flashed back to a minute earlier and how badly I wanted Luca to kiss me.
What was that?
Of course, I thought Luca was attractive. He was Luca-fucking-Romano. But I didn’t want him as anything more than my mentor, and he didn’t want me as anything but his muse. Despite what everyone speculated, it was a business relationship turned friendship.
So, what was that? Why did my entire body shake the moment he touched my face?
Squeezing my eyes shut, I forced the thoughts out of my head and shook off the lingering feelings. My eyes flew open.
That’s it!
It was the way he looked at me.
Luca had a special way of looking at me that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I’d seen a flash of it before but standing so close to him as he appreciated my beauty was heavy. It felt deeper than an appreciation of my looks. It was as if he was seeing the beauty within me as well. It was hard to explain, but that had to be why that moment was so intense. That and the lingering emotions from earlier.
Shit. Earlier.
With the awe-inducing view and then the moment with Luca, I temporarily forgot about the horrific podcast. I stared at myself in the mirror and saw my eyes starting to water. I knew I had to tell him about it. I’d known the moment I heard The Lost Boys made us the topic of the week. It was bad enough that people were spreading rumors on campus, but to have a whole podcast dedicated to lies about my alleged promiscuity and Luca’s alleged bad judgement in cuffing me was too much.
I shook my head.
Luca and I were possibly attracted to each other, but the connection we had was genuine friendship. Every time we talked, we got personal. So, the moment that we shared was just a mix between familiarity and attraction.
And even if Luca and I had a real moment, it doesn’t matter because if I were to act on it, Luca would assume the rumors were true.
“Serena?” Luca called out, interrupting my thoughts and startling me.
I opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. “I’m ready. Sorry. Just touching up my hair.”
He smiled at me. “No problem.” Unlatching the door to the balcony, he stepped outside with his camera in his hand. “I want to get a few test shots.”
As soon as I stepped out onto the balcony, I felt so torn. On one hand, I knew I had to tell him. On the other hand, he already said it didn’t matter.
But did it not matter because it was from a jealous woman? Would it matter more now that it was now a public spectacle?
“I need you to stand right here,” he directed, gesturing to the corner.
I placed my hands on the railing and turned my face toward the sun.
“Perfect,” he commented. The sound of the camera clicking and whizzing followed. I knew my angles, so I posed with little guidance from him. “That’s it. Hold right there.”
We went through a series of poses that ranged from having me as the focal point to making the scenery the focal point. When he felt like he’d gotten what he wanted, he stepped back into the room, staring at his camera.
“Oh, yeah…” Without looking up, he nodded at me. “These are good.”
“I have to tell you something,” I blurted out as I followed him into the room. I waited for him to finally look up before I continued. “So, there are some rumors…”
He sat down on an antique loveseat, placing his camera on the table beside it. “I know.”
I felt my pulse quickening as I paced several feet in front of him. “You know?”
He watched me walk back and forth as he replied, “I know that people are saying we’re involved.”
“Do you know what else they’re saying?” Wringing my hands, I studied his face. “About me? About us?”
“What?”
My eyes started burning. “This bullshit local podcast dedicated a whole show to calling me a gold-digging ho. And that I’m using you and…” My voice trailed off as I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Just lie after lie. And it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all.”
“Come here.” Luca patted the seat next to him. “Please.”
I crossed the room and sat beside him. He put his arm on the back of the loveseat and although he wasn’t touching me, I immediately felt comforted by him. When I looked into his eyes at such a close range, my stomach fluttered.
I took a deep breath. “I just don’t want the bullshit to mess things up with us.”
“Serena,” he started, his voice low and deep. “The rumors don’t change anything on my end. Are you having second thoughts about working with me?”
“No. Not at all.”
“Okay, cool.” He gave me a little smile before continuing. “I meant what I said… your face is the only face that came to mind for this project. There’s no one else. I selected you because you are the woman I want”—he licked his lips—“for this project.”
That slight hesitation and the way his tongue darted across his full lips made my breathing hitch. “I’m glad,” I murmured. “Thank you.”
“I don’t care about your past. None of that matters.”
Closing my eyes and forgetting that his arm was behind me, I let my head fall back. He moved his arm behind my neck and his hand settled on my shoulder. I inhaled his scent and opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted.
“You told me you wouldn’t sleep with someone to advance your career. That’s the only thing I was curious about. All the other stuff is white noise to me.”
I shook my head. “With everything they’re saying, how is that the only thing?”
“Honestly?”
I opened my eyes and lifted my head up. “Always.”
“I’ve had someone do that to me before.”
My eyebrows flew up. “You had someone sleep with you just to advance their career? Someone you cared about or just a random model?”
“Yes. Someone I cared about.” He paused. “But it worked out because it ended up helping my career more than anything I’d ever done, so it is what it is.”
&n
bsp; “I’m sorry that happened. I—” My sentence stopped abruptly as I realized who used him.
Holy shit. Luca Romano and Jordan Brewers.
His brows furrowed. “What?”
“Was Jordan Brewers the one that did that to you?” I whispered.
“Yes. It was her.” He shrugged, causing our bodies to shift into one another. “But we weren’t right for each other, and it ended up being as big of a break for me as it was for her. It was for the best.”
“I’m glad that it worked out for you in the end.”
“And this situation is going to work out for you in the end.” He shook his head. “If someone is calling you a gold-digging ho, they don’t know the woman I’ve gotten to know. I don’t care what anyone has to say.”
I sighed dramatically. He obviously didn’t hear the podcast.
“There’s something special about you, Serena,” he continued.
My heart thudded. “It doesn’t change your view of me professionally.” I swallowed the nerves that tried to stop me from speaking. “But what about personally?”
His eyes searched mine. “Personally, I like you and as long as it didn’t interfere with what we have going on at Hamilton, I didn’t care that they were saying we were together.”
My mind instantly went back to what they’d said about me on the podcast.
“So, it doesn’t bother you to be linked to me even though they are calling me a slut, claiming I slept with random people, alleging that I specifically target men with money?” I rolled my eyes in disbelief. “With all that, you’re still not bothered by everyone saying that we’re together?”
“No. Why would it bother me?” His fingers moved against the bare skin of my shoulder, and I felt the goosebumps erupt under his touch. “None of that matters. You know who you are. You know what you did or didn’t do. And I know the Serena Brooks that I met.”
I didn’t know what was sexier—what he said or the way he was looking at me as he said it.
“Good to know,” I whispered. Noticing how close his face was to mine, my stomach flipped.
“It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”
“Honestly… I was more concerned with how it would affect things with us than what everyone else thought.”
“It doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Even though I was pretty sure he was talking about our professional relationship, something in my gut made me feel like there was more to it. From the way he was looking at me, the way he was speaking to me, and the way his energy was calling out to me, I felt like maybe there was something happening between us.
I bit down on my bottom lip to stop myself from saying too much. “If they were saying you’d slept with a bunch of people you didn’t sleep with, it wouldn’t change how I felt about you either.”
“Good to know.” His fingers moved in a circular pattern against my arm. “But I am sorry this is happening to you.”
“Thanks. But it’s not your fault.”
“It is. I don’t mix business with pleasure, so I shouldn’t have taken you to my favorite restaurant—for hours. I shouldn’t have met with you on campus—for hours. And even though no one knows about it, I shouldn’t have gone on that drive with you or talk to you on the phone—for hours.”
“I liked those things,” I admitted nervously.
“Me, too.” He paused. “When I’m with you, things slow down.”
“What do you mean?”
He blinked as if he’d realized what he’d said. “This whole thing is my fault because I should’ve done more to make sure you were protected. I should’ve made sure you were okay.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but I don’t think there was anything you could’ve done to stop this. It’s bitter people spreading lies because they don’t know what’s really going on.”
“And that’s on me. It’s my process. But I could publicly deny that anything is going on between us. I’ve already spoken with the departmental dean, your advisor, and the president of the school and assured them that you wouldn’t be considered for the seminar—”
My eyebrows flew up. “What? My advisor? The dean?” Panic swept through me. “What are you talking about?”
“They reached out on Wednesday about the rumors, and I told them that our relationship wasn’t—”
“Oh my god,” I gasped, interrupting again. “But we talked for a long time on Wednesday night. You didn’t say anything.”
“Because it was nothing. I assured them that it was professional and friendly. It was a no brainer to be transparent with the administration about the situation.” He hesitated, taking a deep breath, and his eyes bore into mine. “But if you want me to, I could put something on social media. I could go on that podcast. I could post something on my own site and make it clear that there’s nothing going on between us except business.” His eyes dipped to my lips again and his voice became softer, sexier. “If that’s what you want.”
I tipped my head up slightly, bringing our mouths even closer together. “Okay,” I murmured, my heart beating wildly.
He dipped his head, and his nose just barely brushed against mine. His lips were an inch away and I could feel his restraint. “Is that what you want?”
Silence shrouded us as we just breathed each other in. I knew he was waiting for me to make the move, and my mouth watered with anticipation. I wanted to kiss him. There was a fire that crackled between us, and all it would take was for me to close the gap. But I hesitated.
And that was my third mistake.
“Luca!” a woman’s voice cracked through the air, startling us apart as she burst into the room. “You will never guess where they found my makeup bag! It was—!” The woman stopped abruptly, eyeing us with suspicion. “Am I interrupting something?”
“No,” Luca and I answered in unison.
Her eyes zeroed in on his arm around my shoulder as she backed away. “I can just do your makeup after whatever this is”—she gestured to us— “is done.”
Slipping his arm from around me and grabbing his camera, Luca stood. “Eleanor, this is Serena. Serena, this is Eleanor. She’s going to do your makeup.”
Chapter Nine
Vanessa stared at me. Sitting in my living room, I’d just finished telling her about my photoshoot with Luca, and all she did was stare blankly in response.
“Are you going to say something?” I asked when I couldn’t take it anymore.
“You two really just never revisited the moment you had before the makeup artist got there?” Vanessa’s brown eyes were wide and Bambi-like as she stared at me.
“No. We weren’t ever alone again. While she was doing my makeup, a team of people showed up. It was never another moment where it was just the two of us.”
She just stared.
“Nessa!” I threw my hands in the air and then stood. I started pacing the room. “Say something! I need help!”
“I don’t know what to say.” She slumped back against the pillows of the couch and shook her head. “I’m in shock.”
“Me, too. And I don’t know what to do with it. It’s been twenty-four hours, and there’s been no contact. We were talking every day and then we almost kiss and nothing—no call, no text, nothing.” I stopped pacing and put my hands on my hips. “It’s just making me wonder.”
“About?”
“Well…” I dug my fingers into my hips as I started to admit my concerns. “When Eleanor came in and asked if she was interrupting anything, he said no really quickly.”
She squinted as she followed my movements back and forth across the living room. “Didn’t you say no at the exact same time?”
“Yeah, but still. It just doesn’t sit well with me now that I think back on it. When there were so many people around, he was all business. And even between shots, he never tried to create any one-on-one time. And now the fact that he hasn’t called me in twenty-four hours.” I lifted my arms as if I proved my point. “It just feels like he said no beca
use he didn’t want anyone to know. Like he’s embarrassed or something.”
Vanessa’s lips turned downward. “Why would he be embarrassed by you? He all but proclaimed his love for you.”
I avoided eye contact. “Because of the stuff they were saying on that podcast.”
I’d tried to keep my thoughts from going that way. But when I didn’t hear from him by lunch time on Sunday, the little nagging thought grew. By the time Vanessa showed up for dinner, I couldn’t shut the thoughts down. I just kept hearing the annoying voices of City Boy and Country Boy as they demeaned me, disrespected me, and ridiculed Luca for dating me. While it bothered me to have people speculate about my sex life, it was on a whole different level when it negatively impacted my real life. And a part of me felt like maybe Luca felt the same way they felt.
“Oh, Serena…”
“Maybe he just wanted to fuck me and while he was saying all the stuff he was saying to me, he didn’t want anyone else to think he was actually trying to date me.”
Vanessa moved her head from side to side. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
I looked her in her eyes and admitted what I didn’t even realize until that moment. “I think I hesitated to kiss him because I was worried that he was trying to see if the rumors were true or not.”
“You think he was trying to test you?”
I nodded. “Maybe he thinks I’m easy and slutty and a ho that’s trying to use him to get publicity before my launch. Maybe he really does believe all that other bullshit they’re saying.”
“You slept with one guy in the last few months. That doesn’t make you a ho.”
“I know, but that’s not the point.”
“Why don’t you tell him the truth? Tell him that you’ve only slept with one of the five guys that were named. You don’t have to tell him who you slept with or even how many people you slept with. But why not tell him the truth so if he is judging you based on that, at least he’ll know.”
“We already talked about it. He said it didn’t matter to him, and then I told him it wasn’t true. He said it was ‘white noise’ to him.”
Cuffing Season Page 10