by Adrian Laing
Mandy’s initial cynicism was overtaken with the excitement of it all, and waved her hand in the air like an excited school girl who was keen to show the class that she knew the right answer.
“Me, me, me… can I go first, please Helen?”
Helen paused as if she wasn’t sure whether to agree to Mandy’s request.
“Er, OK. Mandy’s first up. Go behind the door and wait for my signal. Can the others come with me?”
Helen took Annie, Huck, Toni, Davy and Betty to the far side of the room to brief them out of earshot of the waiting Mandy. David and JC knew what to do. After a few moments, Helen turned the lights down low, except for a single well-aimed spotlight which shone from the ceiling onto the door. “OK, Mandy, come through the door, now.”
Mandy gingerly opened the makeshift door and stepped forwards with a sort of ‘here am I’ pose, head flung back, arms outstretched, waiting for an explosion of flashing lights and wild cheers.
Instead, there was silence. All of those present, including David and JC, stood looking at Mandy and then one by one starting murmuring to each other, and gesturing as if to say, “Who is this? Nah, let’s wait for the next one.” One by one they turned their backs on Mandy. Toni who felt the urge to surpass his brief instructions, muttered a bit too loudly: “Couldn’t shift a signed photo of that one on eBay for one penny; post and package included.”
Helen waited another moment or two and then said. “OK, Betty your turn.”
Mandy looked around in disbelief but quickly got the point, gave everyone a filthy look, especially Toni, and promptly burst into tears, retreating to a corner of the room.
The group reconvened and this time Betty emerged to a cacophony of positivity, David and JC’s large old-fashioned theatrical cameras sending out flashing lights and puffs of smoke. Toni approached Betty pretending to present an autograph book. Huck was whooping and shouting as if Betty was some megastar while David and JC poised on either side of Betty shouting ‘One more, Betty, This way. That’s great, really great. Love it darling, love it.”
Eventually the group quietened down as Betty walked through the gauntlet-style group, emerging at the end with a huge beam of a smile, theatrically wiping her brow.
“OK, Annie, you go” said Helen.
Annie surprised even herself with her immediate reaction. “No, thanks, Helen. I… er don’t feel – you know – dressed for the occasion.”
Helen moved on quickly. “OK, Huck, let’s see what you’re made of.”
Huck practically ran behind the door; Helen followed discreetly.
Huck burst through the door and immediately gave it his over-the-top theatrical best, moving quickly from one pose to another, pushing out his rear, hands on hips, tongue licking round his lips all tart-like and generally hamming it up in girly fashion one moment and then by way of deliberate contrast throwing some very masculine, macho, martial-arty stances the next. Huck’s antics were played out to an exaggerated cacophony of whoops, cheers, flashing lights and smoke. Even Helen let rip with a two-handed, four finger wolf whistle at one point.
Huck suddenly straightened up and started blowing kisses towards his fans. Without warning he shouted out: “No, please – you shouldn’t… why thank you, thank you so much. Please, I wouldn’t be here without the real star of the show… the great Annie Young!”
Huck gestured wildly for Annie to join him. The group spontaneously pushed and shoved Annie towards Huck despite her protestations. Once Annie was on the other side of the lights her persona seemed to change, completely. Tears trickled down her cheeks as the fans shouted her name while the cameras of the enthusiastic paparazzi papped and smoked away.
To say Annie milked her moment was an understatement. Despite being reluctant to face the spotlight initially, once on the other side it seemed she couldn’t get enough. After what seemed an eternity Helen signalled to David and JC to slow down and stop the antics with the camera. The crowd, such as it was, continued defiantly with a prolonged and genuine applause which Helen was content to let continue without interruption. Helen eventually turned up the lights but the applause continued.
Huck took Annie in his arms while Annie sobbed uncontrollably. Betty and Toni turned Huck’s embrace into a small group hug while Davy sat next to the still-distraught Mandy and placed his arm around her.
“OK” said Helen. “Time for a little breather; let’s take fifteen and then we’ll restart with Mandy. And this time Mandy we’ll do it right, OK?”
The group, as one, looked at Mandy half-expecting a full-bloodied, spite-filled verbal attack directed towards Helen and anyone else who might be caught in Mandy’s firing line. Everyone was expecting Sharon, Mandy’s alter ego, to make an appearance. But Mandy meekly wiped away her tears and replied sheepishly as if she had just been a taught a painful but fair lesson. “OK, Helen, thanks. I’d… appreciate that, I really would.”
***
“You look great, Annie.” David had learnt the art of faking sincerity a long time ago, but this time he didn’t have to; Annie really did look great. Her hair was dyed a dark-grey but natural looking, nonetheless. Helen thought that the stylists who were paid – generously – to ‘turn out’ guests, on special occasions, were the best therapists of all. With a new hairstyle, some flamboyant clothing and professionally applied make-up, absolute wonders could be achieved with most ladies of any age. But the shine and sparkle in Annie’s eyes was all to do with her experiences at The Place, a fact which she was more than ready to acknowledge.
“I can second that” said Helen before Annie had time to respond. “My, what a big day, Annie. We’ve organised a formal send off for you – a real special Graduation Ceremony. But I know you wanted a little chat with me and David before we go outside. Now, I’m intrigued, Annie. It’s not often we’re asked to have a ‘guest of a guest’ attend the Graduation Ceremony. This chap, ‘Bill’, he’s your manager, the one you first described if I recall correctly as a scum-bag?”
Annie looked a bit sheepish, coy almost. “Yes, he’s my manager. Well, Bill’s more than a manager; I expect you’ve already worked that one out. I have a surprise for Bill. I’m going to ask for us to get married. Well, what I mean is that he had asked me before I came in here that if, when I was ready to leave – and ready to live – really enjoy life, he’d like us to get married, so I’m really just saying ‘yes’ to his proposal rather than actually asking him. I mean, there is a difference. And I’m going to sing him a song, a cappella, one of his favourites. You know I really feel like singing. I can’t wait.”
“So, are you ready now Annie?” asked David.
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Annie closed her eyes as if savouring every breath she took. “What a time I’ve had. I’ll never forget Gootsy… Huck… Betty… Toni… and Tracy, how could I ever forget Tracy.”
Helen leaned forward and placed her hand on Annie’s shoulder. “You saved her life, Annie.”
“And you saved mine, Helen. OK, come on, let’s do this, I’m so excited.”
“OK, Annie do you mind going ahead, we’ll join you in a minute. It will make it more special if you go ahead. Be one of the crowd, we’ll call you up when we arrive.”
“Sure,” said Annie “it’ll give me time to decide what to sing to my Bill.”
David and Helen waited for Annie’s footsteps to fade down the corridor.
“Phew” said David. “That was a close one.”
“All your fault, David. I thought we agreed to leave the therapy decisions to me.”
“I’ll have to plead guilty to that one, Helen. Look, I wasn’t sure from the start whether the hypnotherapy stuff would, you know, do any real good. I should have left that to you if I’m honest about it; you’re right on that score.”
David sighed as if he’d learnt something about himself and continued. “All’s well that end’s well. We were just lucky to find Aaron
on such short notice; I mean that guy’s got genuine talent. You know he told me what I suspected all along. Annie’s not going to make any real progress with traditional hypnosis; that was a wrong call of mine. It’s a quick fix but only a temporary solution. Annie needed something deeper and longer lasting, otherwise she might have stayed trapped inside her mindset forever. It’s not Paul’s inexperience that was the problem, it was mine. It wasn’t about hypnotising her to believe she was beautiful; I should have known that was too easy a solution.”
David looked chuffed with himself as if he had just worked out a difficult puzzle. “Mind you, no words can solve the problem of her lop-sided tits; guess she’ll need a surgeon with a steady hand to sort that one out.”
Helen looked at David with an air of resignation. David still didn’t ‘get it’ as far as Helen was concerned, but as long as he thought he’d got it, that was good enough. In that sense David was in the same position as most of the guests of The Place. It was all a bit ironic to Helen, who knew that Annie needed to feel some good old-fashioned love, for and from her bloke, and something romantic, that made her feel special. It wasn’t difficult, as far as Helen was concerned.
“Well, we’re OK now, David. Annie will always see the beauty inside of her, as long as someone loves her. Hopefully that will all be taken care of by Bill.”
“Amen, to that Helen.”
As they left David’s office and headed towards to the patio, Helen picked up a beautifully wrapped present which would soon be ceremoniously handed to Annie. Wrapped up, it looked as if it might be small statute, an Oscar even. But inside the golden wrapping paper was not an Oscar but a similar sized miniature statute of a gold leaf plated figurine which could have been mistaken for a Greek Goddess were it not for the inscription on the base which read: Aspasia.
14
David and Huck were sharing a quiet moment on the patio, seated opposite each other, sharing an ice-filled jug of home-made lemonade and enjoying the soft warm breeze of an early evening.
“So, how do you think it’s going Huck?” David was content to wait for as long as it took before Huck decided to respond.
“Hell, if I could afford it, I think I’d just sort of move in, David. It’s funny but I don’t want to leave because in a way I know I’m ready to leave. Does that make sense, David?”
“Sure does, Huck. You’re not the first one to feel like that. Can’t say it happens too often, but I guess there comes a point when you’re over the fear, you’ve faced your demons and then it feels like a breeze, almost like a holiday.”
David and Huck took a synchronised sip of their ice-filled glasses of lemonade and let their eyes rest on the country-like view of the back garden to The Place.
“Those trees could do with a bit of attention, David. If you cut them back a bit might let in a bit more sunlight in the evening. That would be nice, don’t you think? I mean it wouldn’t affect the feeling of privacy, would it? You could do some activities in the fresh air – maybe some martial arts training – even some light sparring – controlled of course.”
David was intuitive enough to know that the conversation had taken a different turning and was quite willing to go with the flow.
“You remember when we first met in my office, Huck? You said something like ‘just after a fight you’re most at risk’. Tell me Huck, what are you most ‘at risk’ of?”
Huck understood David’s question to be seriously loaded and felt as if there was a lot at stake.
“I guess what I meant was that just after a fight I’m most at risk of jacking it in. I don’t mean doing myself in, David – don’t get me wrong, I’m not that type. I mean giving up the fighting, the training – you know all that side of my life. Problem is I’m not quite sure what I’d do next. And there’s the dressing-up side. I really enjoy that. That’s why I booked myself in here David. I guess a lot of your guests have a sort of breakdown and they end up here instead of the local A&E. I wasn’t like that. I knew that after my last fight I’d need some real good space to sort my head out and decide what to do – who I am, even.” Huck looked at David who returned a wry smile. “OK, it’s complicated. I know that David.”
David let Huck’s words hang in the air.
“I’ll tell you what Huck. Maybe I could have a chat with Helen and JC. Maybe there’s a deal to be done here, Huck. I mean perhaps if you were… how can I put it? If you wanted to contribute to The Place, I can think of stuff – I mean activities – we could get you involved in.”
Huck smiled and took another sip from his glass. “I’d be more than happy to sing for my supper, David. Not literally, of course. But I could get into this. I felt with Martin that I did – you know – help.”
David looked at his watch. “Oh shit, didn’t realise that was the time. I’d better get back inside; I’ve got a meeting to attend to. But listen, Huck, seriously, I’ll tell you what, I’ll have a little chat with Helen and JC, see how they feel. No promises.”
David sat back with a sense of smugness, feeling quite chuffed with how he had dealt with Huck, and felt the familiar buzz of his mobile phone go off inside his trouser pocket. David flipped the phone and realised at once it was a number his phone didn’t recognise.
David turned away from Huck and half-whispered into the phone. “Yeah, who’s this?”
“Hello, Mr Cooper. I am speaking to Mr Cooper, am I not? Maybe I should call you God. OK, listen up Mr Cooper, my name is Simon Hall, senior editor at the Sunday News. We need to talk. Is this is a good time?”
David could sense Huck’s interest in the call and for some reason felt physically sick. “Er not right now, I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” David flipped the phone back, placed it into his pocket and looked at Huck.
“Everything OK, David?” asked Huck who had detected a sudden change in David’s mood.
“Everything is fine, Huck, absolutely fine.”
***
Helen and David were already seated in their favourite seats in David’s office when Davy Crockett arrived. “Hi, Davy, come on in, sit down, please. This isn’t an interview – you’ve been through that already, just a little catch-up chat. You’ve had time to settle in and we just wanted to make sure you’re ready for the next stage,” said Helen, sounding friendly, but intentionally formal.
“I’m cool, Helen,” replied Davy Crockett looking every inch the aging soul singer that he was.
“I heard that you described yourself as ‘The Last King of Disco’ at the Gootsy session. Is that how you feel, like some sort of surviving relic from a bygone age?” asked David.
“Listen brother, I’m still alive. It’s not that I’m from a ‘bygone’ age, it’s just that in my world there’s always a King – sometimes even a Queen – and since our brother Michael and sister Donna passed on, hell I’m OK claiming the crown. Point is, I’m the only the black Davy Crockett there’s ever been or likely to be. For sure, I mean it’s been a while since me and the boys were on ‘Top of the Pops’ but our revival tours are always packed out, I mean we’re big in Brighton, brother. They know every word to every song we ever laid down, better than I do. If I forget the lyrics I point the mike in their direction and they fill in for me. It touches my soul, and that’s the truth…” Davy sounded OK, but David and Helen knew better.
Helen had picked on Davy Crockett’s problems from the first screening. In many ways Davy was what The Place was all about. Davy Crockett was, after thirty years, still the lead singer of The Dreamers which in its day was up there with the best of the disco bands of the 80s. Times had moved on, but Davy hadn’t, and there was the problem.
Davy Crockett’s management team had decided that a few days in The Place was a worthwhile investment for the group and the whole entourage that now followed and managed The Dreamers, one of the most successful revival groups on the lucrative retro scene. But there was a legal problem. They could only use
the name The Dreamers provided at least one of the original group was in the line-up, and Davy Crockett was the sole survivor.
If Davy Crockett failed to appear – for any reason – on stage with The Dreamers, then a contractual clause flushed out after years of legal wrangling would kick in. The game would be up: the right to use their stage and recording name would be automatically transferred to another, rival management company.
Keeping Davy Crockett on his feet, alive enough to perform, was the name of the game, not that anyone had thought it necessary to tell Davy Crockett, who had never read or understood a contract in his life; in fact anything remotely concerned with contracts or finances had, over the years, flown over Davy Crockett’s head completely. Davy thought he was in The Place for a quality chill-out before the tour started, like a sort of pre-tour reward.
David and Helen had promised the management team that under no circumstances would they let the cat out of the bag. That was the deal. The ‘brief’ was simple: get Davy Crockett straightened up as best as could be done before the tour started. Quite simple, really.
Davy realised that David and Helen were looking for a few words of comfort, that everything was OK. “I’m loving it here, really. That girl – what’s her name – the one who was given a bit of rough ride in the last session. I felt real sorry for her. What’s her name again?”
David stepped in. “You mean Mandy, Mandy Haddock.”
“Yeah, wild Mandy. Man, she’s got problems that one. I mean who is she? Boy, you must get used to all sorts in this place.”
“Er, we sure do Davy” said David trying not to sound sarcastic or betraying any hint of irony.
Davy Crockett began to relax, and it showed. “Any problems with me skinning up? I was told you guys were like – cool about that sort of thing.”