The announcer went on to reveal that Count Peter Barranca had been named Regent, in anticipation of the birth of an heir to his wife, the Princess Vinitra, and that the new regent would work closely with Baron Arthur Urquart, President of the Parliament of Nobles, to reform the armed services.
Count Barranca’s first act as Regent was to declare a general amnesty for deserters, and to announce that any women who had been conscripted into the service of the military would be released from all obligations effective immediately. The announcer was careful not to spell out the nature of those obligations.
“Well, well, well,” Madeline said slowly. “Things are looking up.”
The com beeped again, and Niels face appeared when Madeline answered it. “Yes, Niels?”
“So what’s up, Maddy?” he said, a trifle belligerently. “Are we leaving or not?”
Madeline hesitated. “I don’t know yet.”
“Oh, come on,” Niels said in exasperation. “We’ve been here too long already! It’s costing us credits every day we sit here.”
“I’m aware of that, Niels,” Madeline said, a little annoyed at his persistence.
“The crew is antsy,” Niels went on. “They always get antsy when we stop here. They don’t like to leave the ship. But now, with this general amnesty thing, we could lose half of them—or more. We have to get out of here, Maddy.”
“I’m not prepared—” Madeline began, when there was another beep. “I’ve got an outside call, Niels. Hold on a sec.” She hit a switch.
“What is it?” she demanded.
Thad’s face smiled back at her. “I thought you’d be happy to hear from me, sweetheart. Was I wrong?”
Her heart seemed to skip a beat. “Thad! Thaddeus Jenner, you lousy, no good, sorry excuse for a spy, where the hell have you been?”
Thad smiled even wider. “I missed you, too. And I’m glad you’re still there. I thought for sure you’d be half way to the Rim by now.”
“I should be.” A fire of indignation lit in Madeline’s belly. “I’ve been burning credits like I had them to burn waiting to find out what happened to you, you miserable, sodding son of a bitch! Why didn’t you call me before?”
“I couldn’t risk it. I’m sorry, Maddy.” He did sound sorry.
She ran her fingers through her hair, happier than she had been in days. At least he wasn’t dead. “Well, I have to get moving. I may have a mutiny on my hands if I stay here any longer. Are you coming with us?”
His expression suddenly went blank. “I don’t know. But I’ll be back on the station tomorrow. Can you wait another day?”
Madeline hesitated. Part of her wanted to tell him that if he wasn’t coming with her, then she had no more time to waste on him. Apparently, that wasn’t the part her brain was listening to. “All right. One more day.”
He grinned at her.
“You’d better be here, though,” she added. “What have you been waiting for, anyway?”
“A couple of things,” Thad said vaguely. “For one thing, Alex wouldn’t come before. He needed to find out about what was happening to someone else before he’d agree to leave.”
The news astounded Madeline. “Napier is alive? He must be pretty damn lucky.”
“More than you know. I’ll tell you what I can when I see you tomorrow. It may not be much.”
Madeline opened her mouth to protest, but Thad had cut the connection. She found herself staring at her very irate first mate.
“Was it just me or were we having a conversation?”
“Sorry, Niels,” Madeline said guiltily. “But you’ll be happy to know we’re leaving tomorrow.”
“What time?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Niels gave her a sour look and a curt goodbye and cut the connection.
• • •
Alexander stepped into the room just as Thad turned from the com set.
“Well?” Alexander asked. Thad looked very thoughtful.
“The Queen Bee is still there,” Thad said. “They’ll wait until we get to the station before they leave tomorrow. We’ll need to be at the spaceport by noon.”
Alexander nodded. “Fine with me.”
“How are you feeling today? You look a lot better.”
“I feel better.” He did, too. Almost human. “That stuff you put on the burns really helped. They’re mostly healed, and I finally got a good night’s sleep last night.”
Thad smiled. “I suppose Barranca’s call yesterday set your mind at rest?”
It had. “Yes.”
“Well, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, Alex. Gus may want not you to ship out on the Bee at all. Fraynachh Station is nowhere near the Rim. He may prefer to make you wait for another ship.
“A ThreeCon ship?”
“Perhaps. A civilian ship from a ThreeCon world is more likely.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Alexander said, “so long as you don’t run out of these,” he touched the invisible bandage on his cheek that concealed his Corps tattoo without showing that anything was hidden. “I’m perfectly comfortable with strangers so long as I don’t look like a guardsman.”
“How are you with people you know?”
Alexander gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean? I thought you said I wouldn’t be on board the Queen Bee?”
“I’m not talking about the crew of the Bee. You’ve got company, Alex. Cassandra Fitzlothar showed up at my door a little while ago—shortly after you lay down for your treatment. I put her in the back bedroom. She wants to talk to you.”
Alexander froze. It felt as if his heart had stopped beating. Or had he merely stopped breathing?
“How about it?” Thad said. “Will you talk to her?”
Alexander didn’t answer.
“Are you afraid to talk to her?” Thad sounded almost gentle.
“No.” Was that an honest answer? Perhaps. “I’m just not sure that I should.”
“Well, she wants to talk to you. What could it hurt?”
What could it hurt? Nothing, really. And she deserved a better goodbye than the one they had had.
Alexander headed for the tiny hallway that separated the two bedrooms of the small apartment. He stood in front of the door and debated. He decided Cassandra was the guest so he didn’t need to knock.
She jumped to her feet as he came through the doorway. She wore a shirt and trousers that looked very like the ones he had bought for her when they were alone in the farmhouse.
“Oh, you are all right!” She sounded very happy. “Thad said so, but I didn’t quite believe him.”
“I’m fine, Lady Cassandra.”
She looked up at him in alarm. “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you? You won’t take me with you.”
It always disconcerted him when she managed to read his mind. “What makes you think so?”
“You called me ‘Lady Cassandra.’ “
He advanced further into the room, still wondering what to say. How could he make her understand his motives? “I’m not a good person right now. The army and the Corps made me into someone I don’t like very well. I kill people without even thinking about it, and I don’t want to be that way. I want to go somewhere where I can learn to be the person I would have been if there had been no press gangs in the Aquitaine.”
She stood up straighter. “I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of, either, Alex. I told terrible lies to Antonio. I told him my father molested me when I was fourteen. I wanted him to think that was the reason I wasn’t still a virgin. I knew that if he realized it was because of you, he’d track you down and torture you to death.”
Alexander shook his head. “That’s not such a terrible thing. You were trying to help me.”
“And you tried to help me, too.” She took his hands. “You came back for me. You knew you’d most likely die trying, but you broke into the palace again, trying to kill Antonio to make me safe. I don’t think that’s the act of a bad person.”
&nb
sp; Alexander pulled away, still embarrassed by his shortcomings. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have left you there by yourself. I should have asked you to come with me.”
She smiled and walked toward him. “That would have been too much to ask. You thought I was always offering myself to you as a bribe, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“I was, in a way. I wanted you to like me—to love me, even. I grew up in a harem. That’s what I learned as a child—to give my body in exchange for what I needed. And what I needed was someone to love me. It had been such a long time.”
Alexander looked back at her. “It’s been too long for me, Cassandra. If I can’t love myself, I can’t love anyone else.”
She held out her hand and stroked his cheekbone, just below the now-invisible tattoo. “You don’t have to love me. It’s enough that I love you. I’ll go with you anywhere you want to go.”
He took her hand and kissed the palm tenderly. “I can’t stay here, sweetheart. I can’t stay on Gaulle and get the help I need to be human again. I’m leaving here tomorrow, to go to Space Station du Plessis. Thad’s arranged for me to travel to a ThreeCon space station, and from there to whatever world the ThreeCon doctors think is best for me. I don’t even know where I’ll be.”
Her smile trembled; her eyes were warm but close to tears. “I don’t care where I am so long as you’re there with me.”
He stared down into her face. “You can’t mean that. I wouldn’t be able to provide you with any luxuries—I don’t even know what I’ll do to earn a living.”
“I don’t care if we both scrub floors.”
He hesitated for a moment. She was hard to resist, standing there in front of him in the simple clothes he had bought for her. It was tempting to think that it could work out. He bent his head down tentatively. Cassandra lifted her face and kissed him tenderly.
His mind whirled as he hugged her. He knew if he left her, that he would always wonder if he had done the right thing. If he took her with him, it might not work out, but he would at least know that he had tried.
“You’re crazy to want to come with me,” he said, sinking down onto the bed and taking her with him. “Here on Gaulle, you’re Lady Cassandra Fitzlothar, the Emperor’s aunt. Count Barranca would see that you’re safe and taken care of for the rest of your life.”
“I don’t want to be safe.” She put one hand on his chest. “And I’d rather take care of you than be waited on by servants.”
Alexander felt obligated to make one last effort to talk her out of it. “How will you ever forgive me for what happened to you? You’ll always blame me for not getting there in time to save you from Antonio.”
She gave him a curious look. “No I won’t. You did your best. We all do what we can—what we have to do. You know that.”
“I know. But I’m still sorry I wasn’t in time to save you from that.”
“It wasn’t any worse than what happened to you on Lubar.”
His surprise was total. “How did you know about that?”
“Thaddeus told me.” She looked at the floor for a second. “He wanted to be sure I understood why you were so messed up—why you did what you did when you killed that sergeant.” She looked up again, and met his eyes. “I told him I could empathize because my life messed me up, too.”
Alexander didn’t believe her. “It doesn’t seem to have affected you at all. You’ve come through a terrible life without being angry at the world, without becoming bitter.”
“Oh, but it did affect me,” she said earnestly. “It made me desperate for someone to love me. When Antonio’s men found me, I turned into a different person. I lied; I pretended I had been terrorized by a bunch of rebel kidnappers; I said whatever was necessary to keep Antonio from finding out what really happened. I didn’t even fight him when he raped me the first time. In a way, I was glad he did it.”
“What?” Alexander was astounded. “Why?”
She smiled at him tenderly. “Because my one desire, my one goal was to hide from Antonio the fact that I was pregnant with your child. I hoped that if he thought it was his baby, he’d let me have it.”
Alexander was too stunned to speak. He simply stared at her, and she went on as if she felt a need to clarify what she had said.
“I thought I’d never see you again, Alex. I thought you’d gone off and left me, and your baby was all I’d ever have of you.”
“What?” he finally managed to say.
She smiled again, a little uncertainly. “Are you happy or angry?”
He didn’t know what to think, let alone what to say. After a moment, a thought occurred to him. “Are you still pregnant—I mean, have you seen a doctor?”
She nodded. “I’m fine, and so is the baby. I wouldn’t let him tell me whether it’s a boy or a girl, though.”
There was something he had to ask. “And you’re sure it’s mine?”
She nodded again. “The doctor says so, too. I’m too far along for it to be Antonio’s.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded, suddenly irate now that the worst of the shock had worn off. “Were you going to let me go off to lord knows where and not say anything?”
“No. But we didn’t have much chance to talk before, and I couldn’t leave the palace until just recently. Besides, I wanted to see what you decided. I didn’t want you to feel you had to stay here or take me with you only because of the baby.”
“My god,” Alexander said abruptly, as the words sank in. “A baby!”
She put her head down and spoke very quietly, without looking at him. “I really want this baby, Alex. But if it’s too much for you to bear, I could do something about it. It’s still very early.”
“No!” Alexander lifted her chin so that he could see her face. “No,” he said again. “Don’t do that. I can live with it. It’s just so sudden—I—I never thought about it before.”
“All right. I’ll have the baby. You decide whether you want us to come with you or not.”
He let out a breath. “I think I can deal with it better if you’re there with me.”
She smiled up at him. “I’m glad. But now we need to figure out how I can go with you.”
Alexander awoke to the urgency of the situation. “I’m supposed to leave tomorrow! I hope Thad can make arrangements for you to come with me so soon.”
“I’ll bet he can. He struck me as very efficient.” She laid her head on Alexander’s shoulder. “And if not, you can always stun me and hide me in your luggage.”
Alexander smiled at the suggestion, but shook his head as he stroked her hair. “No. It would be too dangerous. You’re going to have a baby—my baby.” He shook his head again. “My baby!”
“Our baby,” Cassandra said, in a firm voice.
• • •
Peter Barranca waited by the window of a small parlor in the family part of the palace; behind him he heard the door open, and he was embarrassed to find that he was a little afraid to turn around.
“Hello, Peter,” a familiar voice said.
Peter turned and looked straight at her. He drew in a breath in surprise.
He had always assumed that she must be pretty to be Antonio du Plessis’ concubine, but it hadn’t occurred to him that she could be so conspicuously beautiful. He took in the thick mane of auburn hair, the green eyes, the creamy perfection of her skin, the perfect balance of her features, and let out a sigh.
She smiled uncertainly, as if she were unsure of what this reaction signified.
“Hello, Marie,” Peter said warmly. “It’s good to be able to say your name out loud.”
“Yes. I like hearing you say it.”
She seemed to be expecting something. A slight frown marred the smooth flawlessness of her brow. “Is anything wrong, Peter?”
“No. Things are going pretty well.”
“You’re the Regent now,” she said, as if she were still absorbing the idea.
“Yes.”
“What about you
r business?” she said anxiously. “How will you handle both things?”
“Actually, my aunt Cyndia Barranca will look after the business for me, until I step down as Regent in twenty years or so. My brother will help her when he’s a little older.”
“I’m glad you have someone you can trust,” she said.
“So am I,” Peter said. “I’m also glad that Baron Urquart has agreed that all Antonio’s women will be free to leave the palace if they chose, with no restrictions on where they go.”
She looked suddenly happy. “So that means I can stay with you?”
He took a step closer. “Marie,” he said, keeping his voice as unemotional as he could, “let’s be realistic here. I’m married to the Princess. I have to stay married to her to ensure the stability of the regency. I could never marry you.”
“But,” Marie said, her uneasy look returning, “you don’t love her, do you?”
“Of course not.” Peter frowned at the suggestion. “I don’t intend to try to establish any emotional intimacy with her. She’s not entirely sane at the moment, and I wouldn’t want to disturb the balance of her mind any further. She is going to have my child, however. You should know that, even if she doesn’t.”
Marie looked astounded. “Your child?”
“Yes. My child, not Antonio’s.”
“But,” she said, distressed, “did you—”
“No,” Peter said, answering her question before she could finish it. “But there are other ways to produce a child. The boy will be my son, and I’ll raise him as best I can under the circumstances. I don’t know how much his mother will be able to help.”
“I see.”
“I hope you do,” he said earnestly. “I have to maintain the appearance of a marriage, for the boy’s sake as well as for the empire’s. I have no choice about that, Marie.”
Shades of Empire (ThreeCon) Page 39