by Jess Bryant
Tyler would have smiled in any other situation but not in this one. Instead, he rushed into the bedroom and grabbed the first set of clothes he could find. He paid no attention to whether they were dirty or clean, he simply slid his legs into a pair of boxers and then jeans, pulled a shirt over his head and returned to the living room as quickly as possible.
True to her word, Ashtyn sat perched on the edge of the sectional. She didn’t look up when he came back into the room. Instead she sat perfectly still, as if moving an inch might break her. She kept her hands clenched in her lap and her feet on the floor, as if she might still walk away if she didn’t like his explanation.
Tyler thought about moving towards her but ultimately decided to give her the space she seemed to want and took a seat on the opposite side of the sectional. He was between her and the door this way too. He hated that he had to consider strategic positioning but he did.
He wished she would look at him but she stared straight ahead, as if the vase of flowers on the coffee table was the only thing that mattered to her. He knew she was trying to hold herself together and didn’t comment or ask her to look at him. Instead he did the only thing he could. He took a deep breath for courage and then started trying to explain himself.
“Will you please agree to hear me out? Promise not to run off before I tell you the whole story? Because I know it’s going to be hard to hear but I swear to you, I’m here for the right reasons, Ashtyn. I’m here because of you.”
She only graced him with a short nod of her chin but it was enough.
“To start at the beginning, yes, I was hired to be part of the security detail the day of your wedding.” Tyler admitted. “I was supposed to be inside the church actually, with you, as part of your security detail, but I was late getting downtown and by the time I got there the church doors were shut. I didn’t want to interrupt if the ceremony had already started so I texted a coworker to see if he’d let me in and decided to wait outside until I heard back from him.”
“A coworker?” Ashtyn’s voice was soft but sharp. “You mean your brother.”
“No. I mean a coworker. I didn’t want Vaughn to know I was late because he was already riding my ass about being more reliable. When I told you my older brother is married to his job, I meant it. That company is everything to him.”
“But not to you?”
“No. Nothing’s ever meant that much to me.” Tyler tried to catch her eye, “Not until I met you.”
Ashtyn glanced down at her hands, shaking her head slowly, as if she didn’t want to hear it, and prompted him to continue, “So you were in that alley by complete accident when I came out the back door.”
“Accident. Chance. Fate. Destiny. Call it what you want but yeah, I just happened to be in the right spot at the right time when you bolted from the church.”
“But you were supposed to be there to protect me. You were working for my father. Why didn’t you grab me and force me to go back inside?” Ashtyn finally looked at him and he realized it was an important question for her, that she needed to understand why he’d chosen to all but defy orders when he hadn’t even known her yet.
“You were standing in front of me in a wedding gown rambling on about a bucket list and my motorcycle and all I knew was that if you wanted to get out of there bad enough to run to a stranger, that you must really need to get away.”
“So you put me on the back of your motorcycle and drove me out of town.” She furrowed her brow. “We only stopped when I motioned for you to pull over, where were you planning to take me?”
“My place. It was only a few exits further up the road, remember? I figured we could stop there and I’d be able to get you inside where nobody would see you and then get in touch with my brother and your parents to plan the next move.”
“Only I threw you for a loop when we stopped at that shopping mall and I asked you to bring me to Vegas.” He watched her piece together the sequence of events and nodded.
“You’ve been throwing me for a loop ever since, princess.”
She frowned, “But when did you make the deal with my mother? When did she hire you to babysit me?”
“I made a call while you were in Target.”
Ashtyn snorted, “Of course you did.”
“You should know, everyone else wanted me to bring you straight back to the church. They didn’t care that you wanted to get as far away from there as possible. It was only when I told them I couldn’t bring you back if you didn’t want to go that your mother got on the phone.” He leaned forward and clasped his hands together between his knees, “She said you deserved this trip, that you’d spent your whole life suffocated by your father’s political ambitions and if this was what you needed then she wanted you to have it. Her only stipulation was that I stay with you on your journey to keep you safe. That was all she wanted, Ashtyn. I’m not a babysitter and I’m not your bodyguard. I’m just a guy who got dragged into this because I know the real world better than you do and your mom thought I could keep you out of trouble.”
Ashtyn didn’t say anything but he could tell that she was thinking about what he’d said. He didn’t speak, unsure of what to say next. He wanted her to understand that her mother had only had her best interest at heart when she asked him to look after her. He had to convince her of that before she would ever believe that he’d only wanted the best for her too.
When Ashtyn finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost hesitant, “I guess I can understand what my mom was thinking. I lived my whole life in a bubble. She wanted me protected and I was already with a bodyguard that worked for my father…” She trailed off and then shook her head. “But that doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me.”
He raised an eyebrow, “Doesn’t it?”
“No.”
“Come on, Ash. You know that if I’d told you up front that I was only agreeing to drive you to Vegas because your mom hired me that you’d have ghosted me the second I closed my eyes that first night.”
She chewed her lip thoughtfully, “Okay, yeah. I probably would have, but that was my right. It’s not fair that you lied to me about who you were or why you were with me.”
“I won’t try to say I didn’t lie because I did. I purposefully omitted details about my life and changed the subject whenever you asked about my job. I’m sorry for that and I regret it more than you can possibly know because I realized a while ago how important honesty is to you. I’m sorry I lied, sweetheart. Truly, I am. I should have told you the truth a long time ago, as soon as I crossed the line and you went from being a job to being… more.”
Ashtyn swiped at her cheek and he realized another tear had slipped free, “The way you acted after we slept together the first time… it makes more sense now.”
“I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t fix it and it doesn’t make it any better but I’m so sorry, Ashtyn. I freaked out that morning because I knew I’d crossed the line. I was being paid to keep you safe. I wasn’t supposed to touch you or kiss you, or take you to bed. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you but I couldn’t stop myself and the more time we spent together and I got to know you, the more impossible it felt to tell you the truth and still get to keep you.”
“Tell me it wasn’t all a lie, that it wasn’t just about the money.” Ashtyn finally met his gaze and he saw her searching his face for the truth, saw the hope and felt his heart give a painful squeeze in his chest.
He went to his knees, moving closer to her, “I swear to you, it was never about the money. Not for one second.”
“Then w-why take it?” she hiccupped through another round of tears.
“It was an excuse to stay with you. I wanted to stay with you so I let them put the money in my account so I could call it a job, but you weren’t a job, Ashtyn. You were fun and exciting and smart as hell. Taking the money didn’t feel right, not even at the start, which is why I never touched a penny of it.”
“Y-You didn’t?”
“Think about it.” he plead
ed. “We stayed in shitty roadside hotels and ate in dives. I used my own money for that, not your parents’.”
“That’s just because you were trying to make me miserable so I’d ask to go home.” she argued.
“At first maybe, but I gave that up as soon as you opened up to me about your mother and about why this trip meant so much to you. I agreed to help you with your bucket list because I wanted to. If it was only about the money, I’d have said screw the list and rushed you straight to Vegas so the job would be done and I could get back to my regular life.” He reached for her face, close enough now to attempt to touch her and breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t pull away. “I didn’t want to go back to my regular life. I don’t want to go back to it now. Not without you. I want this, I want you, I want us and everything we could be together. Please, give me another chance, Ashtyn. I’ll never lie to you again. I swear.”
She stared down at him and then glanced around as if taking in the room for the first time all over again, “This is what you used their money for, isn’t it?”
His lips twitched but couldn’t quite form a smile, “I figured your mother and I might agree that it was best spent on you, to make your dreams come true. This is the Vegas you wanted and all I wanted was to give it to you, to make you happy. I never, ever, wanted to hurt you.”
“But you did.”
“And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to you if you let me.” He brushed a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb and moved even closer so his face was only a foot from hers. “Please, try to forgive me, sweetheart.”
“I want to, but…” Ashtyn’s bottom lip trembled, “Were you really going to tell me all this tonight or was that just another lie to keep me from leaving?”
“It’s the truth and I know you don’t have any reason to believe me when I say that but, it is. I wanted us to have a nice dinner and then come back here and I hoped that after I told you that you’d find a way to understand and then we could really be together, completely open with one another, and we could do this part of the trip right, as a couple, because I love you, Ashtyn. I’m in love with you and I know the timing isn’t perfect. I know I’m nowhere near good enough for you, but I love you and I want to be with you, so I don’t care if you don’t love me back, not yet, but maybe someday, if you could, that would be enough for me.”
“Tyler…” she breathed his name out almost as a whisper and surprised him by raising her hands to cover his against her cheeks, “I’m falling in love with you too, you idiot.”
“You are?”
“Of course I am. Why do you think it hurt so bad seeing those messages and realizing you hadn’t been honest with me?” She squeezed his hands, “I opened up to you but you were holding back. You kept this huge secret from me when I told you all of my worst fears and doubts. That’s what hurt the most.”
“I’ll fix it. Whatever you want to know, just ask. I’m an open book. Do you want to hear about my traumatic childhood with an absentee father and an alcoholic mother? Need to know my most embarrassing moment from high school? How about how much I want to strangle Vaughn on a daily basis for continuing to treat me like a kid and interfering in my life as if he’s my dad instead of my brother? Everything about me, it’s yours to know because I’m yours, Ash.”
A small smile touched her lips, “I do want to know those things. I want to know everything about you. But it doesn’t have to be tonight.”
His breath caught in his throat, “Does that mean you’ll give me another chance?”
Ashtyn nodded, “I ran away from Aaron because I didn’t love him and I couldn’t see a future for us where I was happy. I can’t run away from you though. Not just because you said you’d come after me, but because when I imagine my future now, I see you in it, and that does make me happy.”
Tyler leaned forward and pulled her into his arms. He hugged her, pressing his face against her neck. Tears welled in his own eyes but he blinked them back. He couldn’t believe she was this good and kind and generous, that she wanted to stay with him and would give him a chance to make her happy.
“I’ll make you so happy, princess. I promise.”
Ashtyn hugged him tight and he would have sworn he could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke, “Maybe stop calling me princess. That would be a good start.”
“Never.” he chuckled, leaning back to cup her cheeks and then press his lips gently to hers. “I told you, you’ll always be my princess.”
23
Ashtyn smiled as the man she was falling more and more in love with every day lay her down and followed her down onto the bed. She hadn’t expected him. She’d never expected to feel this deeply about someone she’d known for such a short period of time, but in a way, it made perfect sense.
She had fought for her independence. She had demanded her freedom. And Tyler St James was the man that had been by her side every step of the way, helping to uncover a better version of herself.
In the days since they’d arrived in Las Vegas and the night she’d almost walked out on him, their bond had only grown. She had chosen to stay and fight for them and she didn’t regret the decision. She couldn’t. Her heart had chosen Tyler and despite the complicated way he’d come into her life, being with him felt right.
He understood her. He accepted her, flaws and all, and she’d done the same for him.
Whatever twist of fate had put him in that alley when she’d decided to do the most un-Ashtyn like thing of her life and run out on her own wedding, it had been for a reason. This was the reason. The two of them were meant to be together and if she’d needed any more proof, she only had to look at the way he’d poured his heart out to her over the past few days.
That first night in Vegas had been rocky of course but they’d managed to find their way back to the natural ease they’d had from the start pretty easily. They’d laughed and talked into the night and made love on every conceivable surface of the big suite he had booked for them. And Tyler had been true to his word, telling her about his life, his family, his job, and the way the three intermingled together into the mess that was the St. James family.
Ashtyn had listened in awe as he related stories of his two brothers and one sister, admitting that she’d always longed for a big family. He’d told her that she was welcome to his and she’d known that he meant it. Known that he wanted her to be with him, as part of his real life, and that would mean winning over his precocious baby sister and the two demanding older brothers that he seemed to look up to despite his complaints about them micromanaging his life.
She couldn’t wait to meet them all but at the same time, she wasn’t quite ready to go back home.
They’d spent the last four days in Las Vegas doing all the things she’d ever dreamed of doing. They’d gone to a casino and she’d won at blackjack. They’d gone to see several different shows that Tyler had scored tickets to thanks to his connection with the concierge. They’d even sat in on a wedding where the couple was dressed as Sonny and Cher and an Elvis impersonator pronounced them man and wife. It had been the penultimate end to the journey that changed her life forever and she never wanted to go back to reality.
Tyler kissed the edge of her mouth, “What’re you smiling about?”
“I need a reason to smile when you’re in bed with me?”
“I haven’t even taken my shirt off yet, so…” He raised a curious eyebrow, propping himself up above her.
“I was just thinking, I wish we could stay here forever.” she admitted, winding her fingers into the short hair at the nape of his neck. “I don’t want to go back to Nashville, back to reality, and lose all this.”
Tyler frowned, “You’re not going to lose me, or yourself, by going home, Ash.”
“I know, I just…” She blew out a rough breath. “I know we have to go home soon. I can’t keep running even if I’d rather spend all the rest of my days riding around the country on the back of your motorcycle. I have to go back and fac
e my family, and Aaron, and make things right.”
“You know I’ll be there with you, every step of the way, if you want me to, that is.”
“I do want you, Ty. So much. I want to be with you. I want us to be together, really together as a couple in the real world, back in our real lives.”
“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do.” He brushed her hair off her forehead gently, “I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again, I’m on this journey with you for as long as you’ll let me be by your side, Ashtyn. I love you. You’re it for me. It’s just one of those things that I know deep down somewhere in my soul.”
“I want to see where our journey takes us too.”
“Thank God.” Tyler smiled, brushing a kiss across the tip of her nose. “Otherwise the ride home was going to be really awkward.”
She giggled, “Smartass.”
“You love my ass.”
“I do.” She laughed but sobered quickly, returning to their serious discussion, “There’s something you should know though, before you agree to tie yourself to me.”
“What’s that?” He was still smiling down at her and she worried her bottom lip, praying that smile wasn’t about to disappear.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to do the whole big engagement, wedding ceremony, marriage thing again. I’m not anywhere close to ready for it now. That’s one of the many reasons I left Aaron. I wasn’t ready to get married, not to him but really, not to anyone. Not yet.”
Tyler’s smile softened at the edges and his blue eyes twinkled, “Sweetheart, I don’t have any delusions that we’re going to run back downstairs and let one of those Elvis impersonators marry us before we leave town.”
“Don’t be flippant.” She tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to hide a smile, “I’m talking about our future. I don’t know when or if I’ll be ready to try the marriage thing again.”
“I don’t need a piece of paper or a ring on your finger to know that you’re mine, Ashtyn.” His tone was more serious now. “You have nothing to worry about with me. I just want to be with you, any way I can. You turned your life upside down and I’m man enough to admit you threw me for a loop while you were at it. This whole trip has felt like a dream, a fantasy even, and I know things won’t always be easy for us when we go back to our real lives but I want a real relationship with you and I’m not going anywhere unless it’s at your side, ring or no ring.”