by David Burke
The words were a little different each time, but common themes ran through them all. Jay almost laughed to himself. If this voice was giving him dreams but didn’t want him to be distracted, then 10 perfect tits in front of him was probably not the best way to help him focus. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was important. He needed to learn what the voice was trying to impart.
Then he felt himself being shaken. Real hands were on him, not those of nearly half a dozen topless women. He groggily woke up to see that it was still night outside.
Huong said, “Thank God. You are awake. Do you feel okay? Can you move?”
His head hurt and his mouth was dry but Jay said, “Yes, but please stop shaking me. My head hurts.”
“Jasmine,” she yelled, “he’s awake.”
A moment later, Jasmine came into view. Or at least her long legs did from where he was lying on the ground. “Jay, can you hear me?”
Groaning, he said, “Yes, I hear you just fine. My head hurts and I’m thirsty but I feel fine otherwise.” After that, Jay sat up. He almost wished he hadn’t. The site around the bungalows was gruesome. There were bodies everywhere. Then he realized what that background sound was. The bodies lying around were not dead people but gravely wounded. The others had probably been afraid to move them due to their injuries. He could hear many of them simply moaning and others muttering, “Please” or “End it”.
“What happened?” he asked, directing his question at whichever girl would answer him.
Huong looked away but Jasmine gulped and said, “Do you remember the attack?”
“You mean when we were sleeping? The lizard cat things and the bear with feathers?”
“Yes, exactly. Well you have been lying comatose for about an hour after that. We tried to heal you at first, but no one seemed to be able to find anything to heal. You were just so cold and were completely unresponsive. You were barely breathing, but just enough that we knew you couldn’t be dead, yet your body was ice cold while your head was burning up.”
“Did someone drag me over here then?” Jay asked, looking around. He was a little fuzzy about where he had been when he passed out.
“No we let you lie right where you were. Anyone who was too injured to move themselves we left. Only the dead have been moved.”
Jay suddenly understood. “How many?”
“So far 19, but there are another 13 who are too injured for Huong or Ava to heal them. They are the only two who are still alive that have unlocked healing skills. It was all they could do to help Liam and he has Regeneration 1.”
“I’m so sorry.” Jay knew it was lame as soon as the words left his mouth but he didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s gonna be a long night. Still hours till morning. We can hear roaring and then there is them,” Jasmine said with a wave of her hand at the wounded who were even now suffering.
“We are all afraid we are gonna be attacked again,” Huong added, her voice trembling.
“This must be what the dungeon warning meant about any creatures not cleared off the first floor being able to leave the dungeon at night,” Jay said as he stood up quickly and slammed his palm into his forehead. “How could we have been so stupid?” Jay couldn’t help but beat himself up.
He was no stranger to self-recriminations. His father had blamed him for his mother and sister. Hell, his father had blamed him for everything. Even when he knew it wasn’t his fault, Jay had adopted the habit of taking on the blame.
The difference here was that this mistake really had cost lives. “I’m so sorry. You must hate me.”
Jasmine gave him a puzzled look followed by one of sympathy. “Don’t blame yourself. That is a fool’s errand. If anyone is to be blamed it would be me. I’m supposed to be the leader. The truth is that without you many more would have died. You had a hand in killing all three of the beasts.”
Jay just shook his head. “But if I had…”
“If you had what? Gone into the dungeon and hunted down every monster in there? We have no idea how big that jungle on the first floor is or how many of these creatures there are. For all we know there could be something much worse,” Jasmine said, interrupting him.
“Well do you want me to patrol the area now?”
“Do you even feel up to that? Just a minute ago we all thought you were gonna die.”
“I was just unconscious, at least until someone started shaking me.”
Huong blushed. “Um, sorry, that was me. I just couldn’t think of anything else to do. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t let anything get you,” he said even though the sights and sounds around him revealed his words for the lie that they were.
“I’m scared of the beasts, that’s true, but we all reached agreements and everyone still able to move has secured a spot in one of the eight bungalows. The only one we couldn’t access was yours, because the person who rents it has to be the person to add others.”
“That is gonna make for some crowded bungalows,” Jay said as he did some quick mental math. There had been 89 of them before the attack and if 19 died and 13 more were out of commission that meant apart from him and Amelia in their bungalow that there were going to be about seven people in each of the other shelters. Tight but manageable.
Confused, Jay asked, “Then if you aren’t worried about the beasts then why were you trying so hard to wake me.”
Huong stared at the ground. “It’s the begging. Um, well, Meikiyo told us what you did for Salma.”
Jasmine who had gone strangely quiet suddenly jerked her head up and snapped, “You can’t ask him to do that.”
“Ask me to do what?” Jay asked not because he didn’t know but because he needed time to think. It had taken him a moment to realize what they were talking about with Meikiyo and Salma. When he had, he immediately felt sick to his stomach.
Huong seemed to have lost her nerve but Jasmine finally blurted it out, “It isn’t right for them to suffer like that. If there is nothing we can do then they should be given peace at least, but Liam is out cold healing still and everyone else is either too afraid or too gentle-hearted to do it.”
Maybe it was the way that she had treated him earlier at the ziggurat or maybe he was just feeling put upon but Jay asked, “What about you? You don’t seem to have trouble making the difficult choices. Shouldn’t you give them the peace they are asking for?” As he finished speaking he realized just how bitter he had sounded.
Now it was Jasmine’s turn to look at the ground. “It isn’t that simple. I tried. I couldn’t make myself do it.”
“Wait a minute. So, I am supposed to be the heartless one while you all get to have your sensibilities?”
“No, it isn’t that. You remember my skill, Empathetic Persuasion?”
“Yes, the one that allows you to convince everyone to do what you want?” Jay asked, venting more of his frustration.
“Think what you will of me, but it makes me feel too connected to them. I can feel their agony but it is like trying to kill myself. My hand literally won’t move.”
Jay just looked around in disgust. Suicide was a cheater’s way out, but he knew something about stomach wounds. The idea of being left to die slowly over a couple of days was unthinkable. “Fine, I will be your angel of death but you all better remember this the next time you accuse me of being selfish.”
He started to look for the closest of the dying but added, “Oh and if I am going to do this, you all have to go inside the bungalows. I don’t want anyone watching me do this. If I have to do this, it is going to be a private thing for the dying.”
Tears were streaming down Jasmine’s face. Enough so that Jay felt sorry for how hard he had been on her but he couldn’t afford to feel any emotion, not now. Not if he was going to do what had to be done. Finally, she sobbed out, “Fair enough. Huong help me make sure everyone is inside their bungalows. Oh, and Amelia has been worried sick about you. She wanted to sit b
y your side but I convinced her that it would be better if she kept watch for any more creatures since she has that shroud ability.”
“Good to know, well she needs to go inside too. I don’t want to be seen doing this. I don’t want any of you thinking of me like this.”
Jay paced around for a few minutes while everyone got out of sight. Amelia did come and hug him but then she acted as though it was nothing but a matter of convenience that he was still alive. He thought she actually looked like she had cried, but who was he to know for sure. He realized it would be dangerous to assume too much about her or her feelings.
Chapter 20 - Guilt’s Reward
Once Jay was sure that he was alone with the dying he made his way from person to person. Each time he offered to talk, to hold their hand, to simply sit with them. Some took him up, others couldn’t bear to look at his face and asked only that it be quick. A couple even asked him to pray with them to a god that he wasn’t sure he had ever believed in. A god, who if he did exist, had surely abandoned them.
One thing only he asked from them, to know their names. He promised to remember them. Swore to keep their memory alive. Then repeating their names to himself, he did the deed. There was no glory and no joy in it, not even a feeling of mercy. Simply unrelenting guilt. Guilt that he couldn’t save them. That and a promise to be more. The voice said to take charge. It said to forge a new path. Not just any voice, but his own voice. It was his clarion call to action. He has been content to take this slowly, but mistakes had cost lives.
When he had finished with the last one, the first light of the dawn was starting to pop up over the horizon. He felt the anguish but also the conviction. He could either allow this to break him or to shape him into something new. He chose to live, to honor the fallen and to strive for more.
Still, he wasn’t ready to go back and lie down in the bungalow next to Amelia. It wasn’t that he felt guilty about that. No, he actually felt more free to be honest. He liked her. Maybe not loved her, but she had been honest with him. Hopefully, in the light of a new day she would still be willing to fight beside him.
Now though, he needed to clear his thoughts. So as he sat there feeling the first rays of the sun on his face, he called out, “Status” and saw the blue screen open before him along with a host of notifications.
Notification Summary- for expediency all 14 notifications have been condensed into one.
Killing others of your race is short-sighted at best and self-destructive at worst. Yet, you have acted with compassion so you will not be labeled as a Kin-Slayer. You do however still gain the recompense for each life taken.
To the victor go the spoils and the guilt. You gain all the credits from each of the people whose lives you have taken. Total credits gained: 817.
You also gain 1 point from each person for the stat that was their highest. This is a representation of your absorption of their cores. Total stats gained:
Awareness: +5
Kinesis: +6
Formation: +3
Warning: Core absorptions have resulted in overload of PSI and Stamina. Awakening Required.
Warning: Multiple simultaneous awakenings not recommended.
Warning: Core safety protocols breached- Forced Awakening Imminent.
That was the last that he read before Jay once again felt like his head and chest were going to explode and then the world went black.
As he regained consciousness he saw that his Status screen was still open but he could hear people all around him again. There were voices asking if he was still breathing, or if they should move him. He chose to ignore it all and look at what changes he had undergone.
M1789
Level: 4 (increased from 1 as part of the consequence of awakening)
Awareness: 10
Precognition: 6 - 0%
Sensual Projection: 1 - 0%
Life Sense: 1 - 0%
Iron Will: 3 - 0%
Durability: 5
Hardened Body: 5 - 0%
Enhanced Strength: 3 - 0%
Kinesis: 8
Kinetic Bolt: 2 - 0%
Accelerate: 3 - 0%
Kinetic Dampening: 3 - 0%
Metabolism: 6
Regeneration: 6 - 0%
Enhanced Speed: 2 - 0%
Formation: 20
Body Modification: 4 - 0%
Psionic Construct: 1 - 0%
Temporal Manipulation: 20 - 0% LOCKED
Psi Pts: 380
Stamina: 110
He definitely felt different and for the moment it was easier to just pretend that he was still out cold. As soon as he woke up, everyone would want things from him. Selfish or not he decided to take a moment of Jay time and try to sort out this Status thing better.
In fact a part of him realized that much of the difficulties they had faced had been because no one was taking the time to figure this stuff out.
If they were stuck here, it was time to learn to work the system. They didn’t have to like it, but he sure as hell didn’t want to ever have to repeat what he had done to all those people. No, he couldn’t let his thoughts go down that path.
He had to remember the voice. “Focus” and “Forge a new path”. That seemed to imply that he needed to be single-minded in his pursuit of… well he didn’t know of what, but a new path. The question was, new as compared to what. Maybe a different path than his life back home had been on. Well, it wouldn’t take much to improve on that.
The part that bothered him the most was that each of the dreams had repeated the expression, ‘take charge’. Was the voice telling him that he needed to run a coup and take over the leadership of their little group? That just wasn’t his style. It was too much to worry about now. He knew he would have to at some point but right now he was just happy with the idea that Amelia and he could go off to practice their skills together.
He tried to will the Status sheet to give him more information, such as how he had reached level 4. Usually in most games, the early levels came quickly, but still you didn’t fall over and wake up 3 levels higher. Worse, if he was leveling why didn’t he get stat points or something to assign. It was like he had leveled but all the decisions had been automatically made for him. He focused on line after line going down and trying to make them reveal more information to him until finally a notification popped up.
Basic Query Function: Locked - level requirement not met.
He had so many questions but apparently was still a noob. Simple math showed him that Awareness, Kinesis, and Formation had all gone up based upon the points he had harvested from those he helped to die. Then it looked like he had gotten 1 more point per level up and that those had been assigned as 2 to Durability and 1 to Metabolism. He wasn’t upset by that distribution. He definitely felt more comfortable being physically powerful. Magic or whatever the other stuff was great for games, but here he didn’t want to get ripped open the first time that a creature cut him with a claw.
Almost all his skills had gone up. Most impressive was Hardened Body. He assumed it had something to do with how he had overloaded his body apparently. Whatever the case though at 5 rather than 2 he felt more solid. There wasn’t really any other way to put it. His strength had gone up and without opening his eyes, he was pretty sure that he had bulked up slightly more, unless that was his imagination.
What was most interesting though was the new skills that he had gained. Sensual Projection was not a skill that he knew he had worked on. Maybe it was a side effect of the fun with Amelia. He was itching to see how it worked but figured it wasn’t something he was just gonna be able to practice on his own in the middle of nowhere.
Life Sense and Iron Will were a bit easier to explain. He had had to struggle enough in the past two days to account for the idea that he was exerting his will and trying to track the cats last night had been stressful so perhaps the adaptation was to allow him to sense life.
In fact as he calmed himself and channeled a small amount of PSI into that skill, he found that
he could identify several people around him without even opening his eyes. Not much more than their general size and location but still, something worth working on. And there, right before his eyes, the skill went up by 1%. So his guess was true. He could increase skills by practicing them.
That left Kinetic Dampening as a new skill. It sounded cool, but he wasn’t sure how he would use it. He pondered if it was for helping slow him if he fell or if it was meant to act as some kind of shield. Either seemed viable but he supposed it could be a dozen other things.
Finally he looked at his Formation Skills. The temporal skill was still there and had even gone up in level but was still locked. Psionic Construct was still stuck at level 1-0% which meant he had made no progress in that, but then again he didn’t really even know what it was.
Body Modification had gone up but he didn’t recall doing anything that should have increased that. He had assumed it would allow him to grow armor or turn his hands into claws, but then again he knew what assuming meant. So much of what he expected to be true was not true here.
In fact now he was able to see that one of his initial estimations had been wrong. He had assumed that the total levels in any skill under a stat were limited by what that stat was. Now though it looked like he could raise a skill as high as the score of the stat. That made raising his stats a true priority, yet no reliable method of doing so had presented itself, and he certainly wasn’t going to go around killing more people just to raise his stats. He wasn’t that desperate.
“Are you sure he is okay?” one voice asked, Jay thought it sounded like Amelia.
Another voice that he didn’t recognize said, “Are you kidding? He was freaking glowing.”
“That’s enough. If he doesn’t wake up soon then I will start to worry but it's only been like an hour.” Jay was pretty sure that was Jasmine.
He thought to himself, “Well no rest for the wicked, might as well let them know I’m awake.” Then in usual Jay style he just sat straight up, without opening his eyes or saying a word first. “Hey did you all miss me?”