“This sounds silly,” the older lady grumbled.
Sarah’s shoulders sank a bit, and the room fell silent for a moment.
“Well, I think it’s beautiful. I’d love a little fall tree sculpture in my room,” I assured her, standing up and grabbing a handful of supplies.
Her face softened, and she perked up a bit. The rest of the students followed along and grabbed some supplies of their own. Within a few minutes, everyone was working on their trees.
I made the skeleton of the tree with wire, giving it long roots to stand on The trunk was made of wire wrapped around some popsicle sticks, and the end of the metal wire reached up to create branches. I unwrapped a rectangle block of grey clay, and began trying to mold it. It was hard as rock. After a few minutes of wrestling with it, I saw Sarah make her way over to me.
“Here,” she said, taking the block from me, “Start with smaller pieces. And sometimes it just needs a little warmth to soften up.”
She tore off a corner of the clay and rubbed it in her hands, her thumb pressing into it as it softened. She then placed the clay onto the base of my tree trunk gently took my hand, helping to guide my fingers as we formed the clay around the wire to make the trunk. An electric buzz ran through my hands as she laid her hands over mine, and I had to stop myself from entwining my fingers with hers.
“See?” she asked, pulling away, “Just like that.” With a wink, she turned and made her way back around the table to help another student.
Part of me thought I had imagined the wink. Women didn’t often wink at each other, or at least, they didn’t usually wink at me. And yet, there I was, with Sarah. I tried to convince myself that maybe she just saw me as a friend, to try and slow by heart from beating out of my chest when I looked up at her. But I knew there was definitely something more. There had to be.
My tree built up, layer by layer until all the popsicle sticks and wires were hidden underneath its clay bark. I didn’t have enough time to put on the leaves or to paint it, but Sarah assured us that we would have time to finish our art the next week, just before Thanksgiving.
The room of people packed up silently. I took my time to make sure that I would have a moment alone with Sarah on the way out. I really wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling. I left my statue and sketching supplies neatly piled in my spot and walked up beside her as she finished packing her duffle bag.
“Thanks for coming to another class, Emily,” Sarah smiled, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“I like getting to spend time with you,” I answered, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I could barely breathe.
“You’re too kind,” she said.
“It’s just the truth,” I replied, “I think you’re…” the words caught in my throat, “I think you’re beautiful.”
I could feel my heart beating away, but it felt like there was a magnet pulling e towards her, and even my fear couldn’t stop it. I took a small step forward, leaned in, and kissed her soft pink lips. She tasted just as sweet as I had imagined.
Neither of us a moved for a moment, and I stepped back again to see her reaction. Her face was blank and emotionless. She looked at me like we were strangers, and her finders came up to brush against her lips. Without a word, she turned away from me and walked out of the gym.
My heart stopped its wild beating, and my breath slowed down. I stood alone in the big empty gymnasium. A single tear streaked my cheek as I collected my things and walked back to the B&B. What had I done? I asked myself. It was the only thing on my mind all night. I didn’t sleep.
Chapter 13
I spent the week leading up to the play helping out around the Bed and Breakfast and running errands with John. It was nice to have the distractions of work, and spending time with John was always fun. He tried to bring up Sarah a few times, but I was able to brush it off by asking more questions about whatever project we were working on.
John taught me how to fix light sockets that weren’t working, the kind of light bulbs that needed to be used in each of the rooms, how to unclog the sinks and toilets without messing up the fragile plumbing of the old house, and he even taught me how to make his homemade apple cider. By the end of the week I was practically his apprentice. I didn’t go back to class to finish my tree that week.
The play was on a Wednesday night, which I thought was a little strange He hadn’t told me what we were seeing, but based on his excitement in trying to get us out the door on time, and emphasizing how important it was to get good parking, I imagined there was some sort of fancy community theater in town that I was unaware of.
He said to dress casually, so to combat the frigid weather, I layered a long sleeve shirt with my pink hoodie, and my new red jacket with a matching pair of knitted black gloves and a hat that I had picked up on one of my shopping runs with John. He was layered in much the same way I was in browns and greys. The whole way there he had a bright smile on his face, like a kid on his way to go see Santa. I was really curious about what we were going to see, but I decided not to ask and to simply let it be a surprise.
I was shocked to see that, as we drove down Main Street, the car didn’t continue on through town, and instead, John turned on his blinker and pulled us into the parking lot of the elementary school.
“The play is at the elementary school?” I asked, trying not to sound panicked.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “They always put on a fall play before Thanksgiving break. My niece is in it. She’s in 2nd grade this year.”
“I didn’t know you had a niece. It’s sweet that you go to see her.”
“Yeah, she is great. I go every year. She always makes me promise to go. But I don’t talk about her often because my brother and I don’t get along, and so I don’t see her much.”
The parking lot was overflowing, but we were lucky enough to drive up on someone as they pulled out of a spot in the second row. The sky was grey and threatening rain as we followed the small crowd into the auditorium. There were a lot more people there than I would have expected for an elementary school play. At least 100 adults filled he movie-theater-style seats. Some more sat in metal folding chairs near the back, and others stood around the walls. The whole room was buzzing with the hum chit chat.
“Over here. Let’s stand in the back so we can get some pictures when she comes on,” John said finding us a spot near the painted cement wall by the door.
We arrived just in time, because only a few minutes later, the lights dimmed and the play started. Classes of students were brought on one at a time to do a little song, dance, or skit that related to fall. There was an older woman, who I assumed was the music teacher, playing a piano on the side of the stage to accompany their performances.
We saw a class of little dancing leaves, a skit about a turkey and his farmer friend that turned into a class sing-a-long of Old McDonald, and then there was a song about cozy sweaters. Then, John perked up as a group of students came onstage dressed in normal school clothes.
“There she is,” he whispered taking out his phone and setting it to record.
His niece was wearing a blue striped long sleeve shirt, and she had long golden blonde hair that was pulled back into a ponytail. She looked to be about seven or eight years old. Her class put on a short skit about a class going on a field trip to a pumpkin patch. One of the students was teased for being too weak to carry their pumpkin, but then the character played by his niece came over to help, and they became friends. It was actually pretty cute.
Once they got off stage, the final group came on. It was the kindergarten class, and they were all dressed up as pumpkins. It took all my will not to run out the door in awkward embarrassment when Sarah came on stage with them to help them with their dance. She was matching them in a pumpkin shirt, and her hair was down, allowing her curls to bounce as she danced and wiggled along with her students. Her eyes sparkled up there as she laughed and giggled with her little pumpkins. She looked really happy.
When they finish
ed, they all skipped off holding hands and waving, and the lights came back on again. A lot of the parents stood from their seats with bouquets of flowers and mingled together, talking and laughing while they waited for their kids to come out from backstage.
“So, what did you think?” John asked.
“It was adorable. Your niece seems really sweet,” I smiled.
“She is. I want to wait for her so we can say hi, and then we can get going.”
“No rush.”
I scanned the room, part of me hoping I would see Sarah, and another part of me dreading the idea. I decided to stay behind John so there would be less of a chance of her seeing me first.
“Oh, there is my brother,” John said starting to move towards the front of the crowed, “And here comes Alice.”
“Uncle John!” Alice squealed, running up and jumping into John’s arms. He spun her around and put her down again, kneeling down in front of her, “You came! Did you see me up there?”
“I did, Alice. You did so good,” he said, grinning from ear-to ear.
Within seconds his brother was behind him, pulling him up by his jacket, “What did I say about staying away from my daughter?”
His brother had the outward appearance of a family man, with the typical haircut, and the polo shirt tucked into a pair of jeans and an all-weather jacket. But there was a look in his eyes and a tone his voice that hinted that there was something darker in him.
“I promised her I’d come. I just wanted her to know I was here, and now we’ll be going,” John said, brushing his brother’s hand off his shoulder.
“We?” his brother asked, looking over at me, “What is this? Your girlfriend? You know he’s not really a man, right?”
“Come on, John, let’s go,” I said taking his hand.
His brother continued his mocking, laughing loud enough to draw the attention of the nearby parents, “Ugh, you have this woman convinced you are a man. That is hilarious.”
I could feel my temper rising, and my face turned red hot as I snatched my hand from John and got in his brother’s face, yelling, “He is more of a man than you!”
“Excuse me?” his brother asked, puffing up his chest.
His wife took Alice’s hand and led her out of the auditorium. I had a feeling this wasn’t the first time he had acted like this in public. My hands were shaking. I didn’t know what had come over me, but I was even more unsure about how to get out of what I had started. I felt his brother step closer, getting within an inch of me. His face was bright red as he started screaming something incoherent.
Everything happened in slow motion, like in the movies. I looked over his shoulder to see Sarah looking at me from a few rows over. Her eyes were watery, and her lips were turned down into a frown as she locked eyes with me. The next thing I knew, the brother’s hand grabbed my jacket and John’s hand was on my shoulder. He threw me backwards and I landed with a slap on the hard tile ground, running into a few people as I did. I looked up to see John and his brother, latched onto each other, snarling like animals.
John’s brother, who was much larger than him, put his hands on his shoulders, picking him up by his jacket again and throwing him onto the ground. John’s head bounced off the tile, and I wanted so badly to rush over to him and help somehow. But I’d never seen a fight like this, and I was paralyzed with fear.
His brother got on top of him, beating his face with his big meaty fists. John threw his arms up to protect himself, but with little success. A few of the other fathers in the crowd rushed over and pulled his brother off of him, and I was able to crawl over to help John.
I laid his head in my lap and brushed his hair back, “John, can you hear me? John?” I asked frantically. His face was all puffed up and blood ran from his mouth and nose. He was unconscious. “Someone call 9-1-1!”
John’s brother shook off the people holding him, spat at John and walked out the door muttering “You fight like a girl. Maybe because you are one, loser.”
Chapter 14
The dull beeps on the monitor filled the silence of the hospital room. I sat beside John, clutching the arms of a chair as I waited for Margaret to arrive. He was hooked up to a bunch of lines, and he was dressed in a green hospital gown, and lightly covered in a white sheet from the waist down.
I had had the hospital call the B&B to let her know what had happened. I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and the neon lights were giving me a headache, but I wanted to be there with him in case he woke up, or at least until the doctors had more information on his condition.
After about half an hour of sitting there, one of the nurses came into the room, “You have a visitor in the waiting room, should I bring them in?”
“Yes, please,” I said anxiously.
She left again and a few more minutes passed before she came back again. I stood and crossed the room to hug Margaret, only, it wasn’t her. It was Sarah. She rushed into the room and threw her arms around me.
“I’m so glad you are okay. I thought you were going to be in that fight. Has John, woken up yet? Is he going to be alright?” Her words ran together, and I could feel her shaking.
I took a step back and looked her over. She was shattered into pieces. I tried to reassure her. “He hasn’t woken up yet. And I’m still waiting to hear back from the doctor.”
She walked over to the bedside and held his hand. My head was spinning. She was acting as if the last time I’d seen her had never happened. As if our kiss hadn’t happened. I wanted to explain myself, to apologize, but she didn’t bring it up.
“Sarah,” I said, taking a step closer to her, “Can I talk to you for minute?”
She turned to face me, teary-eyed. I knew this probably wasn’t a good time, with all of us worried about John. But this had been weighing on me for over a week.
“Sarah, I’m sorry about kissing you the other day. I know it was weird. I don’t know what came over me. That’s why I missed the last art class, too. I just felt bad,” I explained,
She stepped closer to me, and my heart skipped as she reached down to take my hand and whispered, “I wanted you to kiss me.”
“But you left,” I said, taking my hand back.
“Where is he? Is he okay? Where’s my Johnny?” came the voice of Margaret as she pushed through the door into the room.
I rushed over to hug her, and we stood there for a minute, just embracing each other. Luckily, we didn’t have to wait long for the answers to her question, as the doctor came in shortly after she did.
“Hello, my name is Dr. Scott,” explained a man that looked almost too young to be a doctor, “I apologize for taking so long, but I wanted to wait for all his scans to come back before I talked to you. We had a CAT scan and an x-ray done of his head and shoulders. The good news is that he has no spinal damage to his neck. He does, however, have a mild concussion, a few fractures on his cheekbone and jaw, as well as a broken nose, and some lacerations in his mouth from his teeth.”
“How bad are the fractures? Is he going to have to stay in the hospital?” asked Margaret frantically.
“Who are you to the young man?” Dr. Scott asked, looking over the chart.
“I’m Margaret Davies, his grandmother. He lives with me.”
“Okay, well then I will be sure to give you a packet of care information when he goes home. They are just hairline fractures, but we don’t want them to get worse. We will keep him overnight to monitor his concussion. He should be waking up soon, and once he does, we will run a few more tests. He should be free to go home tomorrow. He will need a lot of rest and ice, and probably someone to take full care of him for a while.”
“How long to recover?” I jumped in.
“He should start feeling much better in 2-3 weeks,” Dr. Scott explained, opening the door to leave.
“Thank you, doctor,” Margaret sighed, going to John’s side.
“Can I talk to you for a moment in the hall?” Sarah asked, breaking the silence that followed the doctor’s depar
ture.
I nodded, following her into the fairly busy hallway. Nurses ran here and there in bright colored scrubs, and there was a constant beeping from the various monitors near the nurse’s station. Sarah looked around nervously.
“I have something to tell you, and I’ve only said this out loud to a few people ever in my life,” she explained in a whisper, leaning in close to me. “I’m…I’m a lesbian.”
She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. My heart leapt with joy from my chest. I was terrified that I had been acting like some kind of freak, kissing another girl. It was all so new to me. But here she was, another woman who felt the same way I did. I wasn’t alone.
A huge smile, spread across my face and I took her hand. But she quickly pulled it away, and my heart sank again.
“Not in public. Not here. People might see,” she explained, “I’m not out to everyone. That’s why I left when you kissed me. I got scared. I was afraid my students might come back in and see us or something.”
I nodded, but I didn’t fully understand. Here I was with this beautiful woman, and I could feel that warm bubbly happiness dancing around inside of me, and yet, I couldn’t express it. I couldn’t touch her.
“I do want to spend some time with you, though,” she assured me, “I know this is kind of a bad time, with what happened to John. He’s been a good friend of mine. Once he is starting to feel better, maybe sometime next week, you could come by my place? I was going to be putting up my Christmas lights and decorating the house. I can make dinner. Should I text you the address?”
“That sounds wonderful. But my phone is broken,” I lied.
“Okay, well, John and Margaret know my address. You can get it from them. I’m excited to see you. Tell John I was here when he wakes up. I’ll come over to the B&B to check on him in a few days. I’ve got to get going back to the school to finish helping clean up from the performance. See you soon?”
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