“You can call me Daddy if you want,” I say with a smirk.
And that’s when the tension leaves the air. Diem smiles and something inside of me comes alive.
“Why do you care about my car? You’re getting paid to fix it. What do any of the details matter?”
Smart lady, she is. Good.
“Let me ask you this, what is your first thought when I tell you I’m a Hellion?”
She leans back against the sofa but keeps her eyes on me. “Trouble.”
I nod. “What’s your first thought about the life of a biker?”
She doesn’t hesitate in answering. “Trouble.”
“What do you think people’s first thought about you is?”
She closes her eyes and sighs deeply. “That I’m a spoiled bitch.”
Well, damn, I didn’t expect that level of honesty.
“Are you?”
Diem leans forward as Emmalee gasps in surprise at my bold question. “No!” Diem defends. “I’m not a bitch. Spoiled, sure, but I’m grateful for the blessings I have in life. I give back, and I don’t care what kind of money or possessions anyone else has. I like people for who they are, not where they come from.”
“You live in a bubble,” Wesson adds, and Diem turns to look at him.
I actually find myself slightly annoyed that her attention is no longer on me, but on my brother. I’ve never cared to have a female hold a conversation with me before, so what is it about her that makes this different?
“That’s a bit presumptive. Just because our parents support us financially doesn’t mean we aren’t aware of the world’s problems,” Emmalee defends, and Wesson reaches out to cup her chin.
“Gorgeous, you live in a bubble,” Wesson lays it out for her, keeping her face locked to his. “The world isn’t where the danger lies. Sometimes, it’s right where we sleep.”
Emmalee blinks as fear crosses her features.
“We’re not going to hurt either of you. We’re trying to help you,” I explain, trying to ease the tension in Emmalee.
Diem turns her attention back to me. “Then, tell us why you even wanted to talk to us here. Why couldn’t you have your get to know us chat at the park?”
Perceptive, but she’s a little late to be asking that question since they are here in this house without anyone knowing about it.
“You know the Hellions control Haywood’s Landing.”
They both nod.
“Someone trashing expensive cars doesn’t sit well with our club.”
“Right,” Diem says dramatically. “What’s the catch? You may think we live in a bubble, as you say, but no one simply wants to step in and help some random vandalism.”
I shrug my shoulders. I’m not going to lie to her and say we don’t have reasons behind what we’re doing, but I can’t share that shit with her.
“Just trying to sort out the why of it all, spitfire. Calm your tits and hear me out.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue with me.
“Do you know why your cars were both hit?”
“Because I fucked you in a hallway like a whore,” she challenges.
For a moment, I wonder, is she feeling guilty? Is she ashamed? A thought hits me like never before … I wouldn’t want a man to fuck my sister if I had one and not even bother giving her his name.
Now, who feels guilty?
The asshole that is one hundred percent me.
“Okay, Diem, I think we got off to a wrong start.”
Wesson twists in his chair, eyeing me suspiciously.
“I’m a dick. I fucked you in a club and didn’t even have the decency to tell you my name or ask yours. I won’t lie and say you’re the first. I will tell you that you will be the last.” The words fall from my lips, and I can’t fathom where it’s coming from, but I mean it.
“Wesson and I have a mom who …” Fuck, I can’t finish the sentence.
I grab the back of my neck.
“Our mom was a whore,” Wesson continues, and I glare at him. He is unfazed by me. “Not because she wanted to be, but you see, we’re Hellions. The club life is,” he locks eyes with Emmalee, “different. Our mom needed to protect us and herself from our biological dad. That meant earning some safety by being on her back.”
Diem softens, and I stand to pace the room. “Okay, this isn’t the time for a walk down memory lane. Obviously, you have your assumptions about us, and we have ours about you. Does it matter? Not a damn bit. Bottom line, our mom raised us to be the kind of men not to tolerate the disrespect of a female.” I look to Diem and hope she understands the sincerity in my words. “I disrespected you. I apologize. We aren’t going to stand down while someone tries to torment either of you.”
“It’s just a car,” Diem challenges. “We’re not in danger.”
I throw my hand up to silence her. “You don’t know that, and we don’t know that. So, appease the two little boys inside of us and let us help you in a way no one did for our mom until she met Boomer and the Hellions.”
Wesson adds, “We can’t help when we don’t know the why. We can’t know you’re safe if we don’t know what we’re up against. We can’t tell our Momma who works in the garage that the two hot chicks with the fucked-up cars haven’t been defended.”
Okay, he laid that on a bit thick, but he is not wrong. Mom knows about the tag on Diem’s car, and she was not happy. Then again, a woman who let people call her Purple Pussy Pamela in public for years all so she could know her boys were safe doesn’t like for any woman to get some label when no one knows the ride they have been given in life.
Diem looks to Emmalee and then to me. “My mom had an affair. The car was simply a message to my dad.”
That is half the truth. I don’t tell her this, though. Tripp requested we get a feel for what they know without giving away too much. He also didn’t want to trigger Thomas Reigns, so it’s important we don’t piss either woman off and send her running back to Daddy Dearest.
But finally, after all this … conversation … we are getting somewhere.
Conversation with a woman I am attracted to, what a new concept for me. When is the last time I actually cared to talk to a broad?
High school, maybe.
Diem Reigns isn’t some spoiled bitch. In fact, she’s not a bitch at all. If anything, she is a strong woman who hasn’t found herself yet. The level of confidence she carries is attractive, but to think of the woman she will be when she figures out her direction in life, well, that’s a turn on all on its own.
And fuck me, I want to be there for it.
7
Diem
Life lessons with Diem: Even with broken wings, you still have to rise up and fly.
Maybe I need to sage my room.
Maybe I should go to church. We aren’t a religious family. Surely, at church, I could find some clarity of mind or something.
Everything is upside down and inside out.
Colton Vaughn, the biker known as Kick wants to keep me safe.
Only, I don’t see how I’m in danger.
Emmalee is purely smitten, and I hate that word, but that’s exactly what she is over Wesson Vaughn.
I get it; the man has a killer smile. He may be in a wheelchair, but his body is toned in a way very few men are. He’s attractive, but for Emmalee, she says it’s the way they connect.
Apparently, he texts and calls all the time. He’s big on communication she says. His brother sure isn’t. Not that I expect him to be. In fact, I have zero expectations of either Vaughn brother. Wesson makes Emmalee smile. He makes her feel confident in a way I’ve never seen from her.
My mind goes back in time.
“Sleepover girl time!” Kelly excitedly announces. “I’ve been dying to hang out for weeks!”
Emmalee shrugs her shoulders. She has been quiet all day.
“Emma, you okay?” Kelly asks and I watch my closest friend carefully.
“Talk to us,”I encourage her.
S
he sighs and the tears begin to fall. “Josh is going to break up with me.”
I shake my head. “What do you mean he’s going to break up with you?”
She sobs and leans over against me. I wrap my arms around her. “He said since I won’t put out, he’s going to move on Farrah said she would fuck him! Can you believe her? She knows we’re together.”
I hold my friend. “It’s his loss, Emmalee.”
“I feel stupid,” she states sitting up and drying her eyes. “It’s just sex. Like I should get over it and just do it. Then it’s over and Josh and I can go back to the way things were.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Just do it. Honestly, I don’t know why guys want it so bad. I had sex with Alex last year and it was so bad I had to ask him if he was done.”
“Does it hurt?” I ask feeling ridiculous.
Kelly shakes her head. “It’s not painful. It’s just awkward.”
“My mom told me to wait and not because it’s my virginity. It’s one of those things where we’re young. We’re only fifteen. How do I know myself?”Emmalee says. “I love Josh, but is this right for me?”
I smile at my friend. “If you have to ask the question then I would say the answer is no. My mom says it’s important to be patient because men are never patient. She says it’s about my body.”
Kelly interrupts, “yeah, my mom told me my virginity was a gift. Y’all know I’ve had sex with three people and I still have yet to see this as any kind of present. In the moment, it’s like alright, but after it’s like hard to look at them.”
“Okay, friends. As the young women we are let’s vow here and now, no sex unless we can hold our heads high to the men we give it up to!” I mutter trying to find pride and unity with my friends. “Even if we’re the biggest sluts, we will be confident in ourselves. This is a revolution. We’re going to be the women who encourage each other. We’re going to be okay when we have sex with a guy and when we don’t.”
I raise up my hands extending my pinky fingers as do my friends. We lock them together and say, “we are smart. We are strong. We are beautiful. Together we rise and together we fall.”
Oh to go back in time when losing my virginity was a heavy topic. Now, I have someone tagging my car. I have to face the gorgeous man who I had a rendezvous with and sort out my life as things seem to be spiraling around me.
Yes, sex is truly the least of my concerns.
Kelly didn’t keep the vow to only have sex with people she could hold her head high after. Kelly didn’t stick around despite Emmalee and I doing everything to be her friend. She said we were too immature and stopped speaking to us because she was doing drugs on top of having sex with anyone she could. Kelly is now a single mom living in a camper on the beach. Emmalee and I have reached out but she still wants nothing to do with us.
Watching her in high school taught me what I didn’t want to be like. I meant what I said that night and still do now. Even though I didn’t know his name, I still have no shame in hooking up with Colt. Does that make me a whore? Maybe in someone else’s eyes, but not mine. And I’m only concerned with what I can go to bed with on my shoulders at night. I don’t typically hookup, but there is something about him that I simply can’t deny.
Even now, I would have sex with him again.
Is it stupid?
Maybe.
But life is to be lived. Time is to be spent. Memories are to be made.
I also know how to separate sex and love. I know Colt doesn’t love me. There are no emotions between us but sex. Emmalee, I love her, but she falls hard and fast for men like Wesson who start out nice … and then they change. I’m always here to pick up the pieces, but I really hate to watch my friend hurt.
At least she’s trying to build something real with Wesson.
I’m the fool who had sex with his brother in a drunken moment of weakness, so who am I to judge or even try to downplay what she feels is a connection?
Colt.
There’s something about him that I can’t shake.
The moment he’s near, I begin to feel this fullness inside. It’s more than attraction and butterflies, but exactly what it is, I don’t know. He’s not the typical guy I date. He’s rough around the edges, to say the least.
I can’t explain it, but I look in his eyes and I get lost. After our unexpected meeting today, I have to admit, he has me on edge. Even though I can’t figure out his motives, nor do I think I’m in danger at all, the way he wants to step in and look out for us has me wondering what he knows.
This day has been so much to process, starting with the morning revelation about my parents’ marital state. My dad isn’t home when I get in, but I seek out my mom because she’s the person I need to talk to.
She isn’t in her room, so I continue searching. Finally, I find her sitting on the back deck staring off into space. Our back porch is my mom’s favorite place to be. Normally, she can be found on the whicker couch reading a book or in one of the oversized rocking chairs she had custom made for our front porch. She swears everyone in North Carolina deserves to have a porch with a classic rocker for the evening time.
“Mom,” I greet, taking a seat in the rocking chair beside her.
“Diem,” she whispers my name and reaches over to squeeze my hand.
I sigh, not sure what to say, but decide I need to be honest. “Did you really cheat?” While I can’t say I’m overly close with my parents, we aren’t distant either. I have never lied to either of them, and frankly, I’m still surprised my mom would do anything behind my dad’s back.
Her head twists to me, and the shock is evident. “What?”
“Dad said my car was a message to him about your affair.”
She shakes her head but doesn’t release my hand. “Diem, no one cheats on your dad. No one crosses your dad. I don’t know what happened with your car or Emmalee’s. There are many things I can’t tell you, but I am not the one having an affair.”
Her words twist in my gut.
She sighs. “Diem, I don’t know what is going on. Your father and I have not been close in many years.”
This is not something new to me. I don’t reply. I don’t know what to say.
She looks at me, and I see tears filling her eyes. “Diem, you are the most beautiful young woman I have ever known. Inside and out, you are simply stunning. You have kindness, compassion, grace, and this ease about you. From even when you were just a little girl, my heart has belonged to you.”
“I love you, Mom.” The words leave my mouth in a whisper.
“Honey, no matter what, never settle. I know I’ve said it a thousand times. Especially, when you first started dating, but please, if you never remember one thing I’ve told you but this … be patient with yourself in finding love.”
I nod, not really wanting to let her words sink in.
“Diem, listen to your mom. Love comes in many forms. Not all love is beautiful either. Just because a man loves you doesn’t make the relationship right. People, in general, are selfish. It’s natural. But hear me, really take this to heart. A man who loves himself more than you will never be wholly yours. A man who asks more of you than you are willing to give is a man who will drain your spirit dry. A man who can’t see you as his partner will never treat you as his equal. Diem, don’t settle. Even if you are thirty or forty and still waiting, it will be better than giving your heart to the wrong man. Don’t lose yourself in love, my beautiful daughter.”
The somberness in her tone rips my heart out.
“Are you and dad getting a divorce?” I ask bluntly.
She shakes her head. “Your father will never allow that.”
“Are you happy?”
She turns and looks out to the backyard. “I never meant for anything to go this way.”
Her words are softly spoken but not lacking in pain. Before I can ask her to elaborate, the door beside us opens and my father steps out.
If looks could kill … that statement has never been
truer until this moment. The air between them is tense. The anger in my father’s gaze rages like I have never experienced before.
“Diem, it’s time for bed.”
I want to argue.
I’m a grown adult. He doesn’t get to order me to bed.
Except, I don’t.
Honestly, while my father is always a man in a suit who can be slightly intimidating, he’s never been rough with me. His tone rarely gets sharp, and the look on his face has never once been directed at me.
Therefore, I don’t argue that it’s only nine o’clock and not a practical time for any twenty-three-year-old to go to bed. Instead, I stand after giving my mother’s hand a squeeze and kiss her on the cheek.
As I pass my father, he reaches out and grabs my arm, stopping me. His eyes are like steel as he looks at me.
“Do not leave your bedroom tonight. No matter what you hear, you do not leave your room. Do you understand me?”
I swallow hard as his grip on me tightens painfully. Nodding, I don’t dare speak as he releases me, and I rush to my room.
In my entire life, I have never been afraid of my father until now.
What in the hell is going on?
The time passes. My room suddenly feels like a jail cell given my restriction to these four walls. With nothing on television and my mind racing too much to read, I finally force myself to sleep.
Only, I have a dream that takes me back to a time when I was little. Far too little to remember anything, but yet once again, I am in the same room as the dream I had the night before.
My bed feels too big, even though it normally feels small. Mom lays with me, rubbing my hair softly. The room around me is filled with colors, hot air balloons. Colorful hot air balloons paint the walls, and there are teddy bears of all shapes and sizes on the shelves and painted on the walls too.
“Momma, I hear something,” I whisper, turning to look at her.
Except the woman in bed with me, the one stroking my hair, isn’t my mother. She’s a beautiful woman with hair as dark as the midnight sky. Her brown eyes are golden globes.
“Shhh,” she consoles me, “sleep, my beautiful daughter. I promise to always watch over you. I’ll never let anything happen to you.”
Bold from It: Hellions Motorcycle Club (Hellions Ride On Book 5) Page 6