Spiritual Soulcare Offering
Aura-Shielding Meditation for Energetic Sovereignty
If you find yourself facing H.A.R.M. or other violence, this is a simple meditation that can assist you in getting back into your body and reclaiming your power. Our aura (the energy field surrounding the body) may expand to help defend us when we are subject to harm, which can then create more holes or tears in our auric field, leading to emotional, mental, or physical unrest. This exercise promotes energetic sovereignty by calling your power back and releasing unwanted and/or harmful energies that may have attached to you.
Find a quiet space and close or lower your eyes if it feels safe to do so. You can lie down or find any position that feels comfortable for you and your body right now.
Connect with your breath and begin to envision and tap into your auric field, which extends six feet out in all directions around you. Take a moment to notice what your aura feels like. Are there any areas calling for your attention? No need to overthink, just send your energy where it feels needed. Imagine a healing white light pouring over you and cleansing your entire auric field, filling in any holes or tears. Call your power and energy back across all space and time, and release any and all unwanted lingering, corded, or otherwise connected energies. When you feel your aura is restored and repaired, envision guards protecting you and your aura. These may be in the form of shielding light in a color of your choice, trees, or animals. I like to envision a ring of my matriarchal ancestors surrounding me and sending me healing, loving light, with another ring of ancestral warriors guarding me with huge shields.
When you’re done, rub your hands together in front of your heart center if that’s available to you. Then place your hands over your heart and feel the loving energy you can create for and give to yourself. Take a deep exhale, releasing anything that needs releasing. As always, give thanks to the ancient Indian elders who cultivated this potent practice so that you can partake in it today. Open your eyes and journal, sing, dance, rest, cry, scream, set your boundaries, and/or share your truth as feels best for you (in a manner that prioritizes the well-being of the most marginalized). If you are able, please pay homage to the Indian communities that cultivated this practice for you to enjoy—energetically, financially, or otherwise.
THIRTEEN
Why White Women+ Need to Get Out the Way
We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.
—OPRAH WINFREY
In all my workshops, white women+ show up with heavy hearts. Often overwhelmed at how and where to start the work of addressing their own racism but mistakenly believing they can and should lead the way toward ending white supremacy. There is an epidemic of white women+, especially cis women, partaking in performative activism and attempting to distance themselves from white supremacy by spearheading anti-racist education. When it comes to racial justice, white women+ must learn how and when to follow—not lead. White women+ need to do their part to uplift, learn from, follow, and support Black and Indigenous women+ in dismantling white supremacy. White women+ have a huge and necessary role in racial justice, but they need to actively address their white supremacy and minimize harm, give up their privileges wherever possible, and call in all of their fellow white people to do the same (with tangible consequences for failing to do so). But actively engaging in racial justice does not mean presenting yourself as an educator or making money off anti-racism in any way. Still, y’all keep doing it. As I write this, a white woman’s book about “white fragility” is the highest-selling anti-racism book worldwide (and she reportedly commands $20,000 for a workshop!).11 In the wake of the Black Lives Matter uprising amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, more white women swooped in like moths to a flame to cash in on anti-racism (especially in the “wealth and hellness” biz). They are earning a living from the exact systems of oppression they’re claiming to fight. Meanwhile, Black and Indigenous racial justice activists and educators who’ve been preaching similar shit for decades still can’t pay their rent. This is white supremacy at its finest. And it’s unacceptable.
There are many common pitfalls that white women+ seeking to engage in anti-racism frequently succumb to and that BI&WoC, steeped in our internalized oppression, are quick to enable. That ends here. And now. Let’s uncover these mistakes so we can all do better at advancing racial justice and preventing harm toward the most marginalized. Our work is urgent.
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White women+, as a whole, need to get out the dang way—metaphorically as well as physically. A common experience I and many other Black women+ discuss in our work is how white women+ literally refuse to move out of the way for us in physical spaces. Walking down the street. In the grocery aisle. At the airport. White women+ are conditioned to expect, often unconsciously, that Black women+ will move out of their way and defer to their physical superiority. White women+ are not the only ones, by any means, but they are often the most egregious. Especially cis white women. This aggression plays out day after day, and most white women+ have no conscious clue they’re doing it. Since I am no longer prioritizing white comfort, I now make a point to stay in place when this arises, which often results in white women+ body-checking me. Then one of two things happens: either the woman+ continues on as though they didn’t just slam themselves into my being, or they say something like “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”
When it comes to racial justice, this phenomenon is a telling one. Because white women+ so rarely acknowledge Black women+ or other WoC*, and even when they do, they do not acknowledge the harms they cause, let alone care to remedy those harms. It shows how far white women+ need to go in order to engage in authentic anti-racism and why they are absolutely not the ones to lead the way.
SHOCK & AWE
The majority of white women+ couldn’t survive a solitary day dealing with what Black women+ and other WoC must go through. The experiences we endure. The looks—the way we’re stared at and entirely ignored in the same moment—the tones, the silencing, the constant policing of our thoughts, emotions, bodies, words, and faces. White women+ have been socialized to be crappy at coping. With anything. Especially their own violence. One of the reasons white women+ cannot lead anti-racism is because they remain in a state of disbelief and disillusionment around racial realities. For example, there’s been a shit ton of white women+ in shock the last few years, be it from the 2016 U.S. presidential election, the Brexit referendum, systemic anti-Blackness amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic, and the like. Though these outcomes have been alarming for sure, the “shock” that I have witnessed and continue to witness from white women+ is not only played out. It’s triggering. The political appointment of racist, xenophobic misogynists should come as no surprise. Nor should state-sanctioned killings of Black lives. Not. At. All. The system is set up by white supremacy for white supremacy to prevail. White women+’s dismay is simply a consequence of their white privilege. When it comes to the electoral system, what is happening amidst all the “heartbreak” and “hopelessness” is an expectation. An earnest belief that if they just roll up their sleeves to canvas for a cause, have a few hard conversations, and work solely within a white supremacist system, then shit will change. And that expectation is white supremacy at play. Because Black and Indigenous women+ have been rallying, kicking, and screaming for centuries, and our truths have been actively suppressed by whiteness—including white women+. This is why I have always wholeheartedly believed Trump would win another term, and that the same if not more white women would vote for him! As a queer Black woman, I have no faith in a system that allowed him to become President, or remain in office, in the first place. White supremacy thrives through the systems it created. Still, when Trump wins, white women will once again express their shock and awe. I hope I’m proven wrong (and by the time you’re reading this, we’ll know) but I’m not holding my breath! I personally believe it is my duty to vote because the consequences of not casting my ballot can lead to more harm. But I also know voting is ju
st one small (and not particularly effective) way to fight injustice and Black people should in no way be expected to participate in a structure built to eradicate us. The system as a whole is a racist, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist, ageist, and misogynist mess. It is not enough to throw all your weight and hopes for change behind an oppressive electoral process then do fuck all the rest of your days—but too many white women+ do just that, then sink into despair when shit doesn’t go their way (smh).
White women+ need to collect their wigs and their people. But collecting their people does not and cannot mean leading anti-racist education or efforts, because—newsflash—they don’t sufficiently know or understand racism! I would never take up space as a leader in fighting ableism, because as a non-disabled person, I cannot comprehend the depth of the experience of those with disabilities and could never speak to what is best to end a form of oppression I participate in. It is not my place. And believing that it is only further harms folx with disabilities who are forced to fight to have their stories shared instead of non-disabled assholes like me. Same goes for gender identity, sexual orientation, and all oppressions, including race. White folx, and all oppressors, need to know their limit and play within it.
White women+ benefit from white supremacy and are thus unable to lead the way toward dismantling it. As my friend and activist ShiShi Rose shares, “White women specifically choose not to fight racism even when they are being oppressed because they would rather remain as close to power as they can even if that means feeding the beast that harms them too.”12 A-fucking-woman.
There are also some who argue that white women+ need to call in other white folx who won’t receive information shared by BI&WoC, but white folx who refuse to acknowledge what I, as a Black woman, have to say about racial justice are also refusing to acknowledge my humxnity. And if you aren’t willing to acknowledge my humxnity, how the hell are you going to undertake the immense inner and outer work required to fight for my liberation? You’re not. Next!
GLEANINGS FROM GLENNON
A prime example of why white women+ should not lead anti-racist efforts comes from one of America’s most beloved white women: Glennon Doyle. As she wrote about in her book Untamed, in the fall of 2018 Glennon made a post on Instagram about a webinar for white women to discuss race that she and another white woman were leading.13 This, my loves, is a stunning example of white women getting way the hell out their lane. Why? Say it with me! Because white people have no place leading anti-racism education. There are lots of important and informative tidbits that came out of Glennongate, so let’s unpack and learn, shall we? We shall!
Let me make it clear that I’m not here to rip Glennon a new one. She made an effort and she fucked it up. That’s just part of doing the work, and for better or worse, she is in no way exceptional. Let’s start there—reiterating that she, like every other white woman, celebrity or otherwise, is not exceptional. White women+ are all included in the hot mess that is whiteness. Together. Let me remind y’all that all white women+ benefit from white supremacy, they all belong to it, and nearly all perpetuate it (even if they’re trans, gender non-conforming*, LGBTTQIA+, poor, immigrant, disabled, or the like). But white women+ keep feeling like they’ve transcended to some exceptional place after one hot minute’s worth of anti-racism, granting them the right and ability to educate other white women+ on race. It’s white exceptionalism at its finest, and in this instance many agreed. Hundreds, if not thousands, of BI&WoC, along with white women+ authentically engaged in racial justice, pointed out how problematic Glennon’s webinar was. First, white women+ do not need a “safe space,” as was promoted, to discuss race. This infers that spaces with BI&PoC are somehow unsafe, and that’s a racist proposition; and BI&WoC sure AF don’t get “safe spaces” away from white supremacy.
More concerning was the notion that Glennon or the cohost, a white woman who came from a highly criticized all-white “racial justice group” (mayjah eyeroll from me), was qualified to lead a conversation on race. That an anti-racism discussion among white women+, led by white women, was a helpful event. Wrong again! Let me repeat: white people, aka those who intentionally and unintentionally oppress BI&PoC to maintain power and privilege to the exclusion of all others, cannot lead the revolution against the very thing they most benefit from. Any anti-racist dialogue led by white folx occurs through the lens of white supremacy and is thus inherently flawed and harmful.
Lastly, there’s the fact that this educational webinar was offered for free or by donation, which undermines and depreciates the tireless work of Black racial justice educators like myself—which was the point I raised with Glennon. Now, when and how white folx should take independent action is in fact an ongoing debate within the racial justice realm, and Glennon was encouraged to host that webinar by a council of BI&WoC who believe white people need to lead in this way (smh); but I was also informed by a Black activist who spoke with Glennon that the council advising her was comprised of very few Black or Indigenous women+, let alone queer and trans Black and Indigenous women+ racial justice educators (aka the folx we all ought to be learning from and listening to). Fail!
When I say follow Black and Indigenous women+, I don’t mean that one colleague you had way back when. I mean those of us trained, educated, and continuously and actively engaged in racial justice and intersectional anti-oppression, full stop. I mean prioritizing queer and trans Black and Indigenous women+ activists who have and continue to pave the way for our collective liberation. The great majority of queer and trans Black and Indigenous racial justice activists agree that white people have no business leading racial justice, and when they do, they co-opt the movement, white-wash the discourse, and cause BI&PoC harm.
All in all, the white woman webinar was a fail. What happened next was arguably worse. Glennon ultimately decided to call off the webinar—no applause there, as it never should have existed. She also tagged me and two other Black anti-racism educators in the post (since removed) sharing what she had learned from the perspectives we had offered in our responses on her post announcing the webinar. Then, like clockwork, came the violent comments from white women attacking Black women and displaying white women+’s omnipresent allegiance to white supremacy. These comments went unaddressed and uncensored on Glennon’s page for days. In the meantime, myself and other Black women were subjected to ongoing harm, with some white women harassing us in our own DMs. This is yet another reason white women+ cannot lead conversations about race—they can’t or won’t rein in their own people. Allowing white women+ to attack Black women+ in any space is straight-up racist. White silence is indeed violent, and anyone who would allow that to take place is not doing enough of their own work, let alone able to lead others through theirs. Was Glennon’s attempt at allyship a full-out fuckup? No. She sent me a small sum of money to remunerate my energy and education. I received a flock of new followers who were seemingly ready to do better. And it was a prime and public example of what not to do, which many white women+ learned from. Another example of what not to do is Glennon’s chapter about this incident in her book, which fails to name or credit a single BI&WoC for the themes and ideas she presents or the education she received in becoming “racially sober,” as she calls it. As Glennon herself said, “I will keep getting it wrong, which is the closest I can come to getting it right.”14 Glennon, like all white women+, can, and really should, do better. Few things are entirely wrong or bad, and dismantling oppression is far more complex than a binary perspective can withstand. Still, there are better ways to try than others, and white women+ need to stop, think, and follow rather than rush, perform, and lead.
In this same vein, I disagree with the Chelsea Handlers of the world who create works about white privilege that they can lead and profit from because of their white privilege! Her 2019 Netflix special on this topic was sixty-four minutes of white centering in action. Hard pass. Had Chelsea produced a documentary that was coproduced, directed, and hosted by Black and Indigenou
s women+ (who were paid well!) and/or directed all profits to an organization supporting us, then I could get behind it. But she didn’t.
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All of this goes to show why simply educating white people, or other dominant groups, is insufficient to create critical change. Many BI&WoC are critical of efforts to educate white people. ShiShi Rose argues that white people have the information to dismantle racism but are choosing not to, because they know it requires them to give up power.15 And yes, white women+ HAVE power. Some even suggest white folx tend to believe or portray that they are less capable or knowledgeable than they really are when it comes to racism. I don’t disagree. There are a host of social justice issues white people take on and have no problem researching, finding solutions, and acting on (e.g., climate change, animal cruelty, etc.), but when it comes to racism, white people become incapable. “When you know better you do better” doesn’t necessarily apply here, as knowledge about white supremacy alone does not equate to action, and action is what’s required.
SO, WHAT IS WHITE WOMEN+’S ROLE?
As I said, white women+ are absolutely needed in the fight for racial justice and they need to play a way bigger role than they have to date. Voting and talking among themselves is not enough, so how should white women+ help dismantle white supremacy? And how can BI&WoC support that? Great question! I’ve shared a few of my hot tips below.
#1—Understanding White Folx Ain’t the Ones
First off, we all need to understand that white folx, who have never experienced systemic or institutionalized oppression as a result of race, should not and cannot adequately educate on that topic in any formal way. White folx’ work is to follow, center, support, uplift, learn from, and pay queer and trans Black and Indigenous women+ activists and educators, who are the most versed on dismantling white supremacy. Then absorb that knowledge into your daily life to spend your power and privilege however and wherever necessary. To collect other white women+ is to (1) point them in the direction of the melanated women+ rightfully leading this work, (2) explain to other white women+ what they’ve personally learned from those educators and why they personally find anti-racism important for everyone, and (3) get them on board with also spending their power and privilege.
Do Better Page 19