by Lynda Stacey
Hearing the school bus pull up, Molly opened one eye, watched it through the rear-view mirror. She could see it standing there, its engine revving, the twenty or so teenagers all disembarking. Most were laughing, walking in pairs, making their way towards their parents’ cars. But the odd one or two walked alone and stared at phones or made a pretence of listening to music. Feeling the air leave her lungs, she noticed that Beth wasn’t amongst them. Jumping up in her seat, she spun around. Unlocked the door, threw it open, then recoiled quickly with relief as she spotted Beth, running towards the bus from the direction of the lane. Her school bag was thrown over her shoulder. The pale blue torn jeans and jumper she wore were definitely not school issue.
‘Okay, keep calm. What has she been up to?’ Molly queried as she saw Beth disappear behind the bus, only to emerge two minutes later looking tired and disgruntled, pretending she’d just got off. Trudging across the road, Beth looked up, stopped, caught Molly’s eye and then purposefully marched past her at speed.
Molly dropped the window. ‘Beth… come on, get in. I have news.’ Biting down on her lip, she tried to weigh up what she’d seen. The lane was long, at least two thirds of it could be seen from the road, only the last part as it turned around corner was hidden and even though she’d been resting her eyes, Molly felt sure she would have seen her if she’d come from home.
‘If I have to go to the house, I’d rather walk. It’ll postpone my getting there,’ she snapped over her shoulder, jutted out her chin and then forged ahead, with what looked like the heaviest school bag ever. ‘Oh, and for your information, the only place worse than the house is that shitty, horrid school that you made me go to. I hate it. I’m not going back. You can’t make me.’
Molly took in a deep breath, started the car, wound down the window and began to manoeuvre it alongside her sister. ‘Beth, it’s not my fault you have to go to school, and you can’t stay pissed at me forever, can you? Now, come on, do us both a favour, get in the damn car…’ She paused, waited for a response, spoke again. ‘I mean, it’d be nice if you at least told me what you’re pissed at me for. Because most days I’m really not that sure.’
‘You’re ruining my life,’ Beth snapped. ‘I didn’t want to move here. I didn’t want to move schools. But you made me. You took control. You went along with it regardless, whether I liked it or not.’ She kicked out at the sandstone. ‘And Dan. Why did things have to change? I’m sure he still loves you. Yet still, it was you that made us move out and from the way you keep looking across at the new neighbour’s house, you seem more interested in a man you barely know than a man who gave us both a home. It’s disgusting.’ She spun and glared at the car.
‘Beth, please.’
‘Don’t “please” me. Dan has always been there for us, and Moll, I really like him. He’s kind. The other day, he came over to fit the locks and all you talked about was the bloody man you’d just met on the beach, how interesting he was, how beautiful his dog was. It was cruel. I thought you’d have known better.’ She paused, dropped the bag from her shoulder, where it landed heavily on the ground. ‘And Saturday, you had every opportunity, to, you know… but didn’t take it.’ She rolled her eyes, turned and stared at the sea. ‘He loves you, Moll, so why on God’s Earth can’t you just love him back?’
Molly considered her sister’s words; they were the words of a teenager. A teenager who thought that life was simple, and she was right, Dan had always been kind to them, even after they’d broken up as a couple. He’d stayed around, offered them a home, and he and Beth got along just fine, probably better than she and Beth did. But Beth didn’t know the whole truth, telling her would have broken her heart, it would have been another person who’d let her down and Molly empathised with her feelings. They were feelings of being the youngest of three siblings. The little one of the three who was unable to stop the older two from quarrelling or falling out.
‘Okay. I’m sorry. Maybe I’ll invite him over at the weekend?’ she shouted over the sound of the sea. Still choosing not to mention the lack of school clothes. ‘We could spend some time with him, do a BBQ, make a fuss.’
Even though she was a few steps ahead, Beth stopped in her tracks, visibly sighed. ‘Moll, he isn’t a bloody puppy.’ She paused and tutted. ‘And why you like the neighbour and not Dan, is beyond me.’
‘Right. That’s enough,’ Molly snapped, took in a deep breath. ‘Who the hell I like or don’t is my own goddamn business. Do you get that?’ Molly stared out to sea, thought about Niall, the way he’d made her feel, the way she’d thought of the kiss ever since, the way she’d hoped it might happen again.
Slowly, Beth turned to look at the car, her gaze landing somewhere around the wheel arch. ‘Okay, fine. I won’t say another word. You like who you want. But Moll.’ A soft choked cry left her lips. ‘The picture. It wasn’t me. I didn’t move it.’ She kicked out at the floor. ‘And I’m scared because someone did.’ A sob left her throat. ‘What if someone had been in the house while we slept? What if they come back? What if… what if they kill us… take a knife from the kitchen and stab us, just like they did our mum?’
Beth looked distraught, her pain palpable, a pain that Molly fully understood. She felt it too. The thought that someone could have been walking through their house, just a few feet away from where both she and Beth had lain snoozing, had gone through her mind over and over, like a nightmare on fast forward.
Pulling the handbrake on, Molly turned off the engine, climbed out of the car and walked over to where her sister stood. ‘Come here.’ She pulled Beth into a hug and held her close. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I really didn’t mean to blame you about the picture, honestly I didn’t.’ She paused, leaned back and swept a loose strand of hair from in front of Beth’s cute, freckled face. ‘It was… oh, I don’t know, the heat of the moment, I guess. I was scared. I didn’t know what else to think.’
Holding her breath and with Beth’s words firmly in her mind, Molly stared up the lane, towards the house. Thoughts of Charlie ever present. ‘You… you haven’t heard anything… from your dad, have you?’ she asked, cautiously. Couldn’t help but think he’d been around, watching, planning, carefully scheming, knew that if he had, Beth would be the first person he’d contact.
Shaking her head, Beth shrugged. Gave a half smile and turned in Molly’s arms. For a short while, they both stared at the continually rolling breakers, the numerous surf boards that bobbed up and down.
‘Okay. How about we call a truce,’ Molly suggested. ‘How about you tell me why you didn’t go to school today, or at least how you ended up in your jeans and I won’t shout?’
She paused, felt Beth physically sigh with relief.
‘And…?’ Beth whispered.
‘How do you know there will be an and…’ Molly said, poked her in the ribs and made her shriek with laughter.
‘Stop it… I know what you’re like, there’s always an and… so, you may as well tell me what it is.’ She turned, arched an eyebrow, gave Molly an inquisitive smile.
‘Okay, maybe there is an and… What I was thinking was that we agree to give the house a year, make it nice and homely. Mum’s money came through today. If we’re careful with it, we could probably get a security system, put one of those really strong front doors on it. Make it real cosy and… if you still don’t like it once it’s done, we’ll sell it. Where we live is your choice, too. Half the house and the money belongs to you… so…’ She looked across the bay, at the town, desperately hoping that Beth would come to love this view as much as she did. ‘So, the minute you’re old enough you get to decide.’ She paused. ‘Is it a deal?’
‘I have a caveat.’ She paused, looked through her long, dark eyelashes. ‘I want you to make things right with Dan,’ Beth urged hopefully.
Hesitating, Molly rolled her eyes, she didn’t want to lie, didn’t want to give Beth a false hope. ‘I’ll phone him. He’ll always be a friend, Beth. But I can’t promise more than that. Please understand?’
She paused, kissed Beth on the cheek. ‘Do we now have a deal?’
‘Deal.’ Beth turned, snuggled in. ‘’Cause I just know you’ll love him eventually, Moll. You just have to.’
Molly bit down on her lip. The last thing she wanted was for Beth to be angry or unsettled, and instead she decided to change the subject. ‘Hey. How about we go into town, grab a takeaway, do something fun, like… let’s go look for a new bed for your room, a double one that you can spread out in, new curtains, bedding, and… and if we get the time, we could try to find the perfect dressing table. Every young woman should have the perfect place to get herself ready for dates, shouldn’t she?’
Molly thought of her new bank balance, of how useful that money would be. And as she’d said, it was Beth’s money too. She deserved to be happy. ‘You can choose some wallpaper and paint. We’ll make your room all lovely, buy you some new shoes and fill that wardrobe of yours. We could even get some fairy lights, hang them around the headboard. Once it’s decorated, you might like it more.’ She smiled. ‘Hey, we might even pop into that little shop near the supermarket and see if we can get a new carpet for the hallway. What do you think?’
Beth laughed and, for the first time in days, Molly felt at peace with her sister. Hugged her tightly as they both stood on the edge of the cliff, looking outwards at the rugged, craggy coastline. What she wanted more than anything was for the constant arguments of the past six months to be over. For Beth to go back to being the sweet, anxiety free teenager she’d been before their mother’s death. For them to go back to acting like siblings, the way it had been before she’d had no choice but to become Beth’s impromptu and reluctant parent. But Molly knew it was a wish too many, that Charlie was still out there, that he’d more than likely been in their home, while they slept, digging through their things. The question was: why had he been there?
Hearing the ping of her phone, Molly reluctantly pulled it from her pocket, read the message.
Isn’t it sweet… you two, stood together like that? Real sweet.
Taking a fast intake of breath, Molly spun on the spot, searched the topography, the beach, the car park. Moving Beth towards the car she opened the door, pushed her inside. Then, taking a moment, she swallowed hard, stood on her tiptoes and stared along the cliff top. ‘Okay, Charlie… you want to play games, do you?’ She gave a determined nod. ‘You just made your first mistake.’
26
‘Beth, come get your breakfast.’ Molly stood by the kitchen door, looking at the newly laid carpet. ‘Beth!’
‘You don’t have to keep shouting.’ Beth sauntered down the stairs, flicked back her unbrushed hair and pulled lightly at the bottom of her pyjama top. ‘I heard you.’
‘I know you did.’ Molly laughed. ‘I just like how nice it sounds in here now with the carpet and the door curtain.’ She turned back to the toast, attacked it with butter, placed it on a plate and tipped the beans on top. ‘I’m still gobsmacked they fit it last night, I mean, we only went in the day before, didn’t we?’
Beth smiled, picked up the plate and slid onto the leather-look stool that stood at the counter. ‘Yeah, he either really needed the sale or felt sorry for you when you almost sobbed in the shop, told him how horrid it was without a carpet and how you couldn’t possibly live in such a heinous way for a minute longer.’
‘I did not,’ Molly said, but knew she had. In two days, she’d organised a carpet, Beth’s bedroom furniture, and an alarm system for the house. In just one week, it would all be fitted. The house would be secure and both she and Beth would sleep peacefully knowing that if anyone so much as tapped on the window, the alarms would go off.
‘You did so.’ Beth pushed a piece of toast into her mouth and chewed. ‘As well as batting your eyes at him, you practically begged.’ She looked up at the clock. Paused.
Carefully watching, Molly waited for the excuse. It was more than obvious Beth was struggling with the new school. Since receiving the message, Molly had taken her back and forth to the school bus, noticed the pair of jeans and the jumper that had been hidden inside her rucksack. Her books lying on top. Her sly disappearance the night before that had left Molly in fear, wondering where she’d gone and why.
‘I just went to the wooden steps and back,’ she’d said defiantly on her return. ‘I am allowed out, Moll, aren’t I, or would you rather I was a prisoner, kept in my room?’ Molly bit down on her tongue, hadn’t wanted to come over as overbearing or strict, but also knew that Charlie was out there, that she was sure the message had come from him but hadn’t wanted to alarm Beth by telling her anything about it.
‘Just till we get the alarm system, I’d just rather you stay local. Stay near the house, where I can see you.’ She’d watched as her sister had huffed and puffed. Thrown her schoolbooks onto the settee, sat down in a temper to do her homework.
‘Moll?’ The word was a question in itself. ‘I have sport today, hockey and…’
‘And what?’
‘I don’t feel well.’ She glanced up with a look of despair, both hands went to her stomach and her bottom lip protruded in an attempt to show her misery. ‘You know how I get. I feel like I’m going to pass out, throw up or do both, all at once. I really don’t know my way round the school yet, no idea where the toilets are. And today, it’d be the first time I’d have had to do sport at this school, and…’
Molly began to eat her own breakfast. Took note of how Beth had stopped speaking mid-sentence, how she looked close to tears. Knew that if she didn’t allow her the day off, she’d take it anyhow and that the last thing she needed was Beth going AWOL, doing her own thing. At least by being here, with the doors locked, she’d know where she was, what she was doing and who she was with.
‘Beth, you’ve only been at that school for two days, it’s a little soon to be taking a sicky, isn’t it?’ She threw in the question, already knew she’d let her stay home, but didn’t want her to think that getting a day off school had come too easily.
‘People don’t choose when to be sick, Moll. It could be genuine, couldn’t it?’ Again, her face was solemn, her eyes pleaded, and Molly could imagine her holding her breath, waiting for the response.
‘Okay, you can stay home. On the understanding that you go tomorrow. No excuses.’ She paused, gave her a half smile. ‘I’ll phone your gran, see if she’ll come over.’ She knew she was being overly cautious, but after what had happened with her mum, and the thought that Charlie could have been so close, she didn’t want Beth alone, not in this house, not for too long. ‘Plus, you can unpack a few boxes.’ As she said the words, she saw the instant look of relief cross Beth’s face. It was a look that stayed there for a whole minute before a second wave of despair took its place. ‘What now?’
Nervously, Beth looked at the front door. ‘Couldn’t you stay home too?’ Again, she gave her a pitiful look. ‘Or… or I could phone Jackson. He could come over and sit with me, you know, till Gran gets here, couldn’t he?’ She smiled. Her fingers went up together, steepled, as though in prayer.
‘Not a chance. You know I can’t stay home with you. It’s my third day in my new job and I have patients who can’t look after themselves and before we go any further, who the hell is Jackson?’ Registering the look on Beth’s face, the shrug of her shoulders, Molly pushed her plate to one side, walked to the pile of boxes, lifted the lid of one. Then another. ‘Is he the reason you’re skipping school?’
‘I didn’t…’
‘No more lies,’ Molly snapped. ‘From now on, I want the truth, even if it isn’t a truth I want to hear, do you understand?’ She glanced up, saw her mother’s pictures lining the windowsill. Wondered how her mother would handle Beth’s truanting. ‘And what about the day before? The day you pretended to get off the school bus. Were you with Jackson that day too?’
‘He’s my friend. He’s sixteen… lives up on Gap Road, I promise, you’ll like him.’
Beth’s words hit her like a stone. Gap Road, the road she’d driven do
wn to get to Carol’s. Images flashed through her mind, the milk on the doorstep, the feeling of unease, the subsequent meltdown. She’d been sure Charlie had been involved, had been going to phone the police. Couldn’t believe she still hadn’t.
27
Needing to find Beth a distraction, Molly quickly moved around the kitchen, began to search through the packing boxes. ‘Ah, here we go. While I’m at work, why don’t you and Gran take charge of these?’ She dropped a box on the counter.
‘What are they?’
‘They’re Mum’s old photographs. They need sorting out, putting into albums, which are…’ once again, she studied the boxes, ‘in there. The one on the floor, next to the radiator.’ She pointed. ‘Mum had around seven or eight empty albums, was probably intent on sorting the pics out herself, but…’ She paused, swallowed, reminded herself to breathe. ‘Today, well, you have the perfect opportunity. You could build a fire, get the duvet down. Get all snug and organise all of those into albums.’ She thought of how their mother would have planned to do this, of how she’d have arranged each photo into its own category. She’d have a pile of pictures she’d want to keep, and others that she wouldn’t. The ‘others’ would normally end up in a photo box pushed under a bed, just in case.