by Lynda Stacey
‘To be honest, I wouldn’t normally call this early, but I kind of need my jacket. You know, the one you borrowed the other night?’ He looked down, puffed up his cheeks, slowly blew out. ‘And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Just the sheep.’ He pushed his tongue firmly in his cheek. Began to laugh.
‘Oh my God. I’m so sorry.’ Molly kicked off the slippers. ‘I should have returned it and…’ She felt the colour begin at her toes and rise upwards, knew he could see it too. ‘Anyhow, I kind of owe you an apology. The other night, you didn’t deserve the way I reacted. Not after you’d helped me. It was rude…’ Looking down, she gave the slippers a final kick, launching them into the space behind the door.
Eventually, he shook his head. Nervously stepped from foot to foot. ‘Look, it’s fine. I was going to ask if you wanted to share a drink. But it wasn’t compulsory and by the looks of it, you must have had your reasons for backing off, so…’ He held his hands up, palms out. ‘Hey, ladies’ prerogative, think no more of it.’
Enchanted by his smile, Molly felt reassured, unconsciously stepped closer to the door, took in a deep breath and caught those same undertones of the musky aftershave she’d smelled before, the same ones that had played with her senses, had drove her crazy and left her wanting more.
Rolling her eyes, Molly heard the bathroom door open, Beth’s footsteps padding across the landing and the excited sound of her voice hollering down the staircase. ‘Moll, is that Dan? What’s he stood at the doorway for? Ask him to come in, make us one of his big home cooked breakfasts. I’m starving. I’ll be down in a minute.’
Realising that Beth would have been able to see the front door from where she stood, Molly knew she was causing mischief. ‘No, Beth, it’s not Dan,’ she said, firmly. ‘It’s Niall… our new neighbour.’
Annoyed with Beth being so rude, she stepped back, pulled open the door. ‘Beth’s right, we don’t normally leave people standing in the doorway. So, please, why don’t you come in?’ She felt the breath catch in her throat as she said the words. She swallowed, knew she could count the people on one hand who’d crossed her doorstep since her mum had died.
‘If you give me a minute, I’ll get dressed and make some coffee…’ She laughed, tried to remember if they had any milk, whether there was coffee in the cannister and, after stacking the dishwasher the night before, whether she’d have any mugs left to drink from. ‘The kitchen’s that way.’ She gave him a genuine smile, hoped her words sounded as open and welcoming as she intended. ‘In fact, if you know how one of those works, you could make a start?’ She pointed at her mother’s all singing, all dancing coffee machine. The one that had turned up just a few months before she’d died and that no one, not even her, had known how to use. ‘If not, we have instant in the cupboard, which might be preferable, ’cause if I’m honest, I don’t know how to work the machine either, so please don’t ask.’
Niall strode into the kitchen, studied the machine. Shook his head. ‘Looks like we’re having instant.’ He pulled open a cupboard. ‘Are the mugs in here?’
Indicating the dressing gown, she placed a foot on the bottom step and took in a deep breath. ‘Sure, help yourself. I’ll be back down in a minute.’ Running up to her room, Molly stood looking at herself in the mirrored wardrobe, gave herself a telling off for answering the door barely dressed.
‘Oh my gawd, look at the state of you.’ She dragged a jumper out of the drawer, pulled it over her head, scanned the unpacked case, spied a pair of jeans and sat on the bed to drag them on. Finally, she pulled a brush through her hair, added a smudge of lip gloss and pressed her lips tightly together. ‘You’ll have to do.’ She felt her stomach turn. ‘Why are you nervous?’ she asked herself. ‘He’s just a man.’ Feeling ready, she turned as the door burst open.
‘What is he doing here?’ Beth growled. ‘It’s a bit early for visitors, isn’t it? Or… or maybe he was hoping to catch you half naked, which by the looks of it, he did.’ Cocking her head to one side, she viciously rubbed at her hair with a towel and huffed. ‘Unless, of course, he was here all night and the big pretence of banging on the front door was for my benefit?’ She looked Molly up and down. ‘Because if that’s what happened, it’s disgusting. You shouldn’t do that. Not here and certainly not with him. You barely know him, for God’s sake.’ Her towel was dropped to the floor and kicked to one side. ‘Oh, and as for me having to introduce Jackson before he’s allowed in, well… be good if you returned the favour, wouldn’t it?’
‘Beth, you really need to shut up. You’re being very rude,’ Molly snapped. ‘Go and get dressed, because you’re more than overstepping the mark.’ She felt her anger rise, checked her face in the mirror and noticed the bright pink tinge to her skin, the way her lips were pressed angrily together, the smudge of lip gloss that had already disappeared.
Beth grabbed the towel from the floor, threw it across a radiator. ‘It should be Dan, not him.’
Molly took one last look in the mirror. ‘Beth. It’s neither of them,’ she snapped. ‘Now seriously, go and get dressed. Go to school.’
‘But…’
‘Do you know any other words, because ‘but’ is all you ever say these days. Now. Go. To. School. You’re going to be late.’
‘Can you—’
‘What, after that outburst? Don’t even ask,’ she snapped. ‘I’m not taking you and what’s more, I’m sick to death of the attitude.’ Pausing, she lowered her voice. ‘No matter how much I do for you, it’s never enough. So today, you get to catch the bus, and while you’re on it, you can think about the way you damn well speak to me. It isn’t right and Beth…’ Pressing her lips tightly together, she wondered if it was time to tell Beth about Dan, that he wasn’t exactly the knight in shining armour she’d imagined. Sighing, she decided against it. ‘We’ll talk about this outburst tonight.’
Dropping her hand from the door, Beth flounced across the landing and into her room, slamming the door behind her, leaving Molly to take a moment at the top of the stairs. Holding onto the newel post, she paused, tried to calm her temper and slowly crept downwards, careful not to be heard as the smell of good coffee intrigued her. Hovering close to the bottom, she could hear the clanking of spoons, drawers opening and closing, the sound of something being moved and then the sound of her heart as it pounded audibly in her chest.
Taking another step downwards, Molly sat down, leaned on the banister and watched Niall through the railings as he made his way around the kitchen. Humming to himself, he picked up the box she’d been unpacking the night before, lifted something out, put it back, then visibly sighed. Whatever it was he’d wanted to find hadn’t been there and, with a scowl, he placed the box back on the floor. Systematically, he went from cupboard to cupboard, opening and closing them, all the time searching. All the time making her wonder who he really was, why he was searching through her kitchen and whether Tasha’s comments had been justified. The only thing she really did know about him was that he employed former convicts, spent all his days with them. His loyalty to them appeared to be unconditional and endless. What she didn’t know was how far that loyalty went, what he’d do to protect them, to help them. She wondered how many of them he really knew and whether he, or any of the others, could be working for Charlie.
Puzzled, she held her breath, tipped her head to one side and stood up, wondering what he’d do next, but then jumped as he turned, his whole face lit up. The sparkle in his eyes quite easily matching the dazzle of his smile.
‘Hey, hope you really do like the real stuff, ’cause I spotted a cafetière poking out of that box, and a bag of coffee. How lucky was that?’ he said as he placed a hand on the plunger, pressed it down. ‘I did have a bit of a dig, a look through the cupboards, somehow I couldn’t find any mugs, so you might have to help me out. Unless of course you like it black and prefer to drink straight from the jug.’ He flashed her another smile, gave a comical shrug of his shoulders.
Relieved, she pointed to o
ne of the cupboard doors. ‘That’s because they’re all in the dishwasher.’ She squeezed past him, felt his body touch against hers as she pulled at the door, passed him the mugs. ‘And I didn’t even know we had a cafetière, it… must have belonged to Mum.’ She stuttered over the words and padded across the kitchen, pulled out a stool and perched on it, to sit by the breakfast bar, smiling.
It had been a long time since she’d had the opportunity to watch a man making coffee, especially a man in her kitchen. Damn it, other than Dan, she couldn’t remember the last time a man had even been in her kitchen. Most of the men she’d ever dated had been university dropouts, interested in one thing and one thing only. They certainly hadn’t offered to cook, clean, or make the coffee. She tried to smile, as once again she thought of Dan, of how they’d met, fallen in love, how she’d easily got used to him making her pancakes or bacon sandwiches for breakfast. How he’d have his playlist on full blast and sing as he cooked. ‘Alexis, Alexis… play some Rag’n’Bone Man. Alexis! Damn thing never listens to me,’ he’d shout at the top of his voice, knowing that by using the wrong name for the device he’d have Beth rolling around, giggling for hours. It had been this Dan she loved, a love that could have lasted forever. But he’d changed. He’d become cold, secretive, and there had been hours and hours of silence where he’d done nothing apart from tap on a screen. He’d walk down the garden, make hushed, secretive calls, and disappear for hours. Suspicion had eaten away at her, until one day she’d spotted him in the city, a chance sighting. At first, she’d been excited, was going to run over, ask if he wanted to grab a coffee, or lunch. Could still feel the desperation that had passed through her as she’d walked towards him, then found herself backtracking, ducking in a doorway, and watching in disbelief as he’d walked up to a man, shook his hand, and accepted money in exchange for a small packet. At first, she’d tried to ignore what she’d seen, tried to make excuses. Gave him every opportunity to tell her what he’d been doing, where he’d been that day. Then watched as he’d ducked the questions, the way his eyes had lit up with fear.
‘Dan, I know what I saw, and I won’t be a part of it.’ She’d paused as the nausea had threatened. ‘You’re a prison officer for God’s sake, you could lose your job and me, well… if I were caught with drugs anywhere near me, I could be struck off. Do you know that? I could lose my job. Just by association.’
Molly had known the relationship would end. It had already broken down. Her bags had been packed and she’d been just about ready to move out when the news came of her mother’s death and suddenly she had nowhere else to go. She had Beth to look after. Forensics had moved into what had been their mum’s home. Dan had made all the right promises and, in the end, moving Beth to another refuge, to another safe house, another school, hadn’t felt like an option. She’d already lost so much and, at the time, she needed to be there, needed to stay close to her friends, to people she trusted.
‘Let me guess, milk, one sugar, am I right?’ Niall’s voice broke her thoughts and she watched as he turned, opened the fridge, pulled out the milk carton and gave it a shake. ‘A little or lots?’ Pouring the milk, he picked up the sugar cannister, spooned a teaspoon of granules into one of the mugs, then confidently and as though he’d done it a thousand times before, held the mug out to her with a satisfied smile.
Accepting the coffee, Molly blew at the contents, took a tentative sip. ‘You look very comfortable in my kitchen,’ she whispered. ‘I’d say you look at home, but that, well, that’d be crazy, wouldn’t it?’ She held her breath, kept her eyes on his. Still felt a little wary, but she liked what she saw, had the sudden urge to smile uncontrollably.
‘Well, I have been here before, came over once or twice for coffee. Had a drink with Michael last Christmas and I must admit, it is really homely and I always liked this kitchen.’ Niall turned as he spoke, rested his hand on her shoulder. ‘What’s more, I’m told I make great coffee.’ He bit down sensuously at his bottom lip, caught her gaze. ‘Can’t say I’m great at washing up, though.’ With an easy laugh, he reached out, took her hand in his and with a sharpness in his attitude, and a firmness in the way he stood, he pulled her towards him. ‘However, I would like to talk about the other night, about what happened.’ He searched her eyes. ‘We were getting along just fine. If I’m honest, I thought we’d started something good, something real and then…’
He was right. It had felt real. In fact, she couldn’t remember a time when it had felt so real. Not for her. And now she felt embarrassed, didn’t know what to say. ‘It was kind of you to say that it was ladies’ prerogative,’ she finally said, ‘you know, earlier. But…’ She felt the need to explain. ‘I feel really bad that I was so rude. You didn’t deserve it…’ She nervously searched his eyes, moved in closer. ‘When I saw the wine, I freaked out, it was…’
‘Urgh, don’t mind me!’ Beth’s words were sudden and intrusive, making Molly jump backwards. Her hand flew to one side. The coffee mug rocked, and she watched in horror as the contents spilled over the side like a small tidal surge, where it slopped onto the counter and down the kitchen unit to form a small pool of coffee on the tiles below.
‘Shit, sorry.’ Molly pulled at the kitchen roll, threw it at the floor, pressed it with her bare foot, felt the warmth of the liquid seep through.
‘If you two don’t mind, I’d quite like to get some breakfast. It’s almost time for the bus and I have to walk all the way down there – before it arrives. Not to mention having to clean my shoes of all the damn mud before I get on.’ She pointed to the lane, rudely pushed past where Molly stood, now hugging the half empty coffee mug.
Once again, the dramatic Beth was back and Molly watched as she pulled open the fridge and with one hand holding the milk, rapidly moved the rest of the contents of the fridge around with the other. ‘Actually, do you know what? I’ve changed my mind,’ she shouted, thrust the carton back in the fridge and marched across the kitchen. ‘I seem to have lost my appetite.’
‘Beth, wait.’ Molly closed her eyes. Counted to ten. Pressed her lips tightly together and hoped that by the time she looked up, Beth would have got over her tantrum. ‘You need to eat.’ She spoke firmly, tried to calm her heartbeat. Bit down on her lip. Tried to desperately avoid Niall’s gaze. ‘Beth, please, get some breakfast.’
Beth flicked her hair over her shoulder, looked back. ‘As I said, I kind of lost my appetite. So, I’m gonna leave you two to do whatever it was you were about to do,’ she growled. ‘But don’t forget about Dan, he’s coming over later. I mean, you do remember Dan, don’t you?’ She stood, glared at Molly with a look that could have penetrated metal, yanked the door open and slammed it behind her.
Opening and closing her mouth like a hyperactive goldfish, Molly stared at the door, couldn’t think of what to say. Finally, she just gave Niall an apologetic smile. ‘I’m so sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with her.’ Pausing, she pulled at another piece of kitchen roll, took the antibacterial spray and began to attack the cupboard doors with both. ‘One thing you can count on is that if Beth is pissed at you, she doesn’t normally leave it too long before she tells you about it.’ She carried on wiping the counter. ‘And as for Dan, he isn’t coming over later. I’ll be seeing him tomorrow. We’re going into town. I owe him a drink or two.’ She tried to explain, saw Niall’s expression change, harden.
‘Right… now it’s a little clearer.’ He spoke slowly, puffed up his cheeks, gave her a questioning look. ‘I didn’t know he was your boyfriend. I mean…’ He looked thoughtful. ‘I thought he was just a friend of the family.’
‘What makes you say that?’ Molly asked. For something to do with her hands, she turned to the kettle, filled it and set it back to boil.
Shaking his head, Niall stared at the floor. ‘’Cause I’d seen him around here, before you moved in. I’d like to say before Michael died, but I’m not a hundred per cent sure and then when you moved in, his car seemed to be here again at times when you were in and
when you were out.’
Molly began to laugh. ‘Who, Dan? No, you’re mistaken. Michael was my mum’s boyfriend, nothing to do with Dan. They’d never met.’
Stepping towards her, Niall placed a hand on her arm, furrowed his brow. ‘Do you know what?’ He pulled her towards him. ‘You’re probably right… but he is up here a lot now, so…’ Pausing, he searched her eyes. ‘Is he a boyfriend or not, ’cause…’
Feeling her stomach do an involuntary somersault, Molly took a sharp breath in, began to laugh with nerves. ‘No, he isn’t, and ’cause what?’
‘’Cause if he isn’t a boyfriend, I’d really like to kiss you.’ Slowly, his hand went to cup her chin, his lips were lowered to press firmly against hers. Then, as though she’d given all the permission he needed, he moved his mouth slowly, sensually over hers. His hands pulled her hips closer. She could feel his arousal, could feel his need. Felt herself gasp beneath his touch. Lifting her hands up, Molly ran them over his shoulders, felt his muscles flex beneath her touch as she sank deeper into his arms.
‘Oh, for God’s sake. Do you two have to?’ The front door had been flung open and Beth’s voice broke the moment. ‘It’s ridiculous. I didn’t even reach the gate before you were at it.’
‘Beth, that’s enough,’ Molly snapped, feeling her temper rise.
‘But—’
‘No more buts. Just you wait till you’re attracted to someone. My God, will I have fun reminding you of this moment.’ She moved away from Niall, poured hot water into what was left of her coffee. Lifted it to her lips and took another sip.
‘Well, for your information,’ Beth chided, ‘I’m going to Gran’s after school; I’m gonna stay there tonight.’ Leaning against the door, she crossed her arms. ‘Should make you two happy. You know, if I’m not around and you get the whole house to yourself.’