No Place Like Home

by Lynda Stacey

  Time stood still. Nothing mattered. Every second felt like an hour as her clothes were systematically removed, item by item, until just her underwear remained to leave her partially naked body crushed beneath his, every contour of his body pressed sensually against her, his arousal fully apparent.

  Step by step, they inched their way back up the stairs. Until finally Niall pulled her towards him. The movement was so quick she felt her breath catch in her throat.

  ‘Moll, you have no idea how much I want you, this… but…’ he whispered between kisses, blew out a breath, searched hers with his. Then he purposely distanced himself, took deep intakes of breath, stood with his back against the wall, her bedroom door just millimetres from his side.

  ‘But what?’ Confused, Molly grabbed at the balustrade, pulled herself along the landing, her arms automatically hugging herself with a sudden need to cover her body.

  ‘You had a drink, I – Moll, you were practically unconscious.’ He closed his eyes, squeezed them tightly together. ‘I… damn it, you have no idea how hard it is for me to stop. I want you so much, but the last thing I want to do is take advantage and… Moll, for the love of God, please go to bed.’ He kept his eyes averted, took a step down the stairs. ‘I’m gonna catch an hour’s sleep on the settee, just in case… you know, in case you need anything.’

  Feeling stunned, Molly felt a tidal wave of embarrassment. For the past few months, since being single, she’d wondered what it would be like to meet someone new, to end up in a passionate embrace, to feel something other than grief. The last thing she’d ever dreamed or imagined was that she’d be standing on her own landing, without her clothes and being told to go to bed, for her own sake. Wishing for the floor to open up, to swallow her whole, she pulled open the airing cupboard door and angrily grabbed at a bath towel, wrapped it around herself. ‘I – I’m fine. I’d barely had anything to drink… I wasn’t drunk,’ she insisted. Again, the sight of Charlie raising his glass was like a punch to the gut, her hand went to her throat, gently caressed her neck, wondered what she’d drunk, what he could have possibly fed her. The thought that he’d got so close, so easily, terrified her. She felt the urge to tell Niall what had happened, what she’d suspected. But now in the cold light of day if she hadn’t known how bad she’d felt, how disorientated she’d quickly become, the accusation would seem almost ludicrous.

  Looking at anything but Niall, she felt her temper rise, hated the thought that Charlie could once again dominate her life, her thoughts, her mind. A sob left her throat. ‘Look… maybe you should go, I really don’t need a babysitter and… I really need to sleep…’ Cuddling into the towel, she felt the heat rise to her cheeks, the tears threaten to flood her eyes. Tears she knew would scald without falling.

  Standing on the top step, Niall ran a hand through his hair, across his well-trimmed beard and finally, he pulled at his jeans, made himself more comfortable. Then, with a measured breath, he took the step that separated them, pulled her into his arms, held her close. ‘Please don’t get upset. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to protect you.’ He then gave a gentle sigh of relief. ‘I just wanted to know you’re sure…’ He held out a hand to hers, pulled her into his arms, held her close. ‘When we wake up… I want you to be happy, not full of regrets.’

  With a sudden understanding of the situation, she tipped her head to one side and cheekily laughed. ‘If you prefer, I’ll get dressed. We can go downstairs. We can drink coffee, we can even be polite and, what’s more, we could both pretend it’d make a difference.’ She seductively moved out of his arms, towards the bedroom, dropped the towel onto the floor as she went. ‘Or, we can take ourselves to bed, get warm and make love.’

  Within a second his body was pressed hard against hers. ‘You’re sure?’ His eyes questioned, seductively. His lips playfully and gently grazed hers. Then, he sensually slid his hands down her body to skim her hips, her thighs and then the base of her spine. Shock waves spiralled through her and then, with no effort at all, he scooped her up, and within seconds, the bed was beneath her. With gentle, tender movements, Niall’s fingers began grazing her naked skin, his mouth moved down to her neck, over her collarbone, down her stomach and onto her thighs where, instinctively, her body arched toward him. Without saying a word, Molly felt herself surrender to his touch, knowing that each kiss was being carefully placed and that maximum explosive pleasure would follow.

  ‘Wait… just one minute.’ She gave him a cheeky wink, rolled out of bed and clumsily onto the floor, pulled a condom from a wicker basket and passed it to him. ‘See, I do know what I’m doing.’ She smiled. ‘You might need this,’ she whispered, taking in the sight of his firm, naked body before moving back to the bed. ‘I haven’t taken birth control for… well, forever. So…’

  Falling back into his arms, she relaxed into the gentle, unrushed lovemaking he offered. The tenderness he showed, and finally, after all the days she’d hoped for this moment, she felt him drive himself deep inside her. The world sped up, their bodies moved in unison, one scream followed the other, and a crescendo of explosions escalated between them.

  40

  Using her arm as a shield, Molly covered her eyes. Made an attempt to protect them from the autumn sunshine that had annoyingly burst in through the curtainless window, making her turn away from the light and into Niall’s naked body as he peacefully slept beside her. Catching her breath, she snuggled in closer, playfully began to touch him, move her hands over him, felt a rush of adrenaline flow through her as she did. Being here, in this house, with Niall, feeling so content, was all so new and surreal, like a bubble waiting to burst, and not wanting that to happen, she took pleasure in watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slept, took in every moment, making each one a memory.

  ‘Hey…’ she whispered. ‘Are you really here?’ Moving closer, she threw a leg over his, pushed the sheet down to uncover his body and began to move her fingertips up and down his chest, through the thick dark hairs, seductively administering each touch, until his mouth passionately caught hers.

  ‘I want you again and again,’ he whispered between kisses. ‘And I don’t just want you once, I want you today, tomorrow, I want you the day after that.’ His hands moved over her, tentatively hovering just below the sheets until she arched her back, threw back the duvet and laughed as it fell unceremoniously from the bed to land in a heap on the floor.

  Staring longingly at him, she took in the shape of his body, the curvature of his muscles, the deep volcanic sparkle of his eyes, and then at his mouth that now smiled with new meaning. It was an image she wanted to hold onto. A life she’d dreamed of.

  Gasping, she felt him move into position above her, enjoyed the way his hands and mouth worked fervently to please her, until once again, he drove himself deep inside her, his movements slow, deliberate, rhythmic. The rushed desire of earlier had gone, and in its place was now an act of discovery, a slow, more restrained lovemaking in which, cautiously and patiently, they matched each other, both in pace and tempo until a soft scream of ecstasy left Molly’s lips.

  41

  ‘Moll, urgh… for God’s sake, what the hell’s going on? Your clothes are all over the bloody floor.’ The sound of Beth’s voice suddenly vibrated up the stairs, making Molly grab at Niall’s watch, throw her legs over the edge of the bed, jump up. In seconds she felt her heart accelerate from what had been a peaceful resting tempo to one similar to that of a sprinter moments after finishing a race.

  ‘Niall. Get up. Beth’s home.’ She went to grab at the door but laughed as Niall’s hand grabbed at her leg. ‘Don’t, she’ll hear.’ She moved out of his way, grabbed at her dressing gown and stared at her reflection in the mirrored wardrobes with horror. Her mind and body began to spin in opposite directions and with her head bowed, she waited for the feeling to pass. ‘Oh, wow. I have the hangover from hell.’ She waved her finger up and down in the air, pointing at him like a wand. ‘And what the hell is Beth gonna say to this?’ Sh
e tugged at the duvet until Niall leaned towards her. Pulled her back to the bed, where she melted into a slow, sensual kiss.

  ‘Moll, you up there?’ Beth yelled. ‘Urgh. Whose shoes are those? Don’t tell me you’ve got that bloody man-mountain up there with you,’ she snapped. ‘I just knew this’d happen the moment I wasn’t here. You went out with Dan. You were supposed to be bringing him home with you, not some random stranger you picked up on the damn street.’

  Pulling at the door, Molly stood, listened to the sound of Beth opening and closing the fridge, boiling the kettle, the relentless shouting. ‘Moll, are you coming down? You do know Grandad’s waiting, don’t you? He won’t come in, he’s outside, in the car, which is probably a good job in my opinion. I messaged you an hour ago, I told you to be ready.’

  Molly suddenly remembered the rushed text she’d sent to Beth the night before.

  Stay at Gran’s. I’ve left the car at the surgery. Bit drunk, taking taxi home. x

  Realising now that those few simple words would have been shared around the farmhouse and, with her grandparents being the way they were, an instant recovery mission would have been instigated. A plan put in place. And today, here he was ensuring her car was retrieved at the crack of dawn, before anyone could notice she’d left it behind.

  Looking around the room for her phone, she took in a deep breath. ‘Niall… where’s my… oh my God, my phone, I dropped it. It’s…’ She pointed through the window, down the lane. ‘It’s in that garden, I was near the cliff. I couldn’t see. I think… it might have fallen into the sea.’ She shook her head in disbelief, furrowed her brow. ‘Why the hell do I think I saw Beth’s shoes in that house?’

  Lying back against the pillows, Niall stared at her. Laughed. Shook his head. ‘Moll, do you always speak in tangents?’ He paused, sat up. ‘That house has been empty for a good couple of years and, as far as I know, no one has been in it since the old lady who lived there. She died at least two years ago, didn’t have any family, so, I really doubt anyone’s been in there since.’ He paused, raised an eyebrow. ‘I guess you’d had more to drink than you imagined.’

  With thoughts spiralling around her mind, she saw flashbacks of the carpet, the way it was rolled up, thrown on the floor. ‘And my hallway carpet. That was there too, in that house. I swear, I saw it through the window.’ The anger built inside her. ‘If I find out that Beth moved it, that she’s trying to scare me, I’ll kill her.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Metaphorically, of course.’

  Pulling her into a hold, Niall allowed his fingers to cup her chin, his lips repeatedly teasing hers. ‘Tell me exactly where you were when you lost the phone. I’ll go see if I can spot it, take a look through the windows, see if I can make any sense of what you may or may not have seen.’

  Molly picked up his jeans, threw them at him, peered out of the window through the sea fret and could just about make out her grandfather’s car where it was parked in front of the gate. His fingers visibly drumming against the steering wheel, the engine still revving.

  ‘Go on, your grandad’s waiting, go get your car and drink some coffee before you drive.’ He pressed his lips firmly to hers. ‘I’ll meet you back here.’ He headed towards the door. Gave her a half smile. ‘What’s wrong?’

  Molly’s shoulders physically dropped. She already felt like a teenager caught in the act. She had no choice but to face her grandfather, who would now witness her walk of shame. And as though the day couldn’t get any worse, she watched Dan’s car pull to a halt, right beside her grandad’s. ‘For fuck’s sake, that’s the last thing I need. What the hell is he doing here?’ she whispered under her breath. Began to pull her clothes out of the wardrobe. Hurriedly dressed as memories of the night before flashed into her mind. The drugged feeling, the taxi rank, the awkward kiss. The thought that he’d run past, that he’d been stomping around in the undergrowth, shouting. And her, cowering fearfully in a garden that didn’t belong to her. Had any of it been real?

  Standing at the top of the stairs, she inquisitively peered around the corner, past the newel post and into the hallway.

  ‘Morning, kiddo. Where’s Moll?’ The cheerful sound of Dan walking into the kitchen vibrated up the stairs. ‘Give us a bite.’

  ‘Hey, that’s mine,’ Beth shouted. ‘Give it back.’

  ‘What? Mmm, that tastes so good.’ He paused and Molly could imagine him stealing Beth’s food. She’d always previously seen the amusement in the way they quarrelled; nothing seemed to have changed, another reason for her to think she’d imagined it, that whatever she’d swallowed had been affecting her mind. ‘Okay, here you go. Have it back.’

  ‘Urgh, Dan…’ Beth began to giggle. ‘Don’t… Why the hell would I want it back now? You just sucked it.’

  Molly saw the toast fly through the door, land in the hallway. On the new carpet. Butter side down. ‘Hey, you two, enough. You’re gonna ruin the damned carpet and I only just paid for it.’

  Suddenly, Beth was standing at the bottom of the stairs, fury in her eyes and hands on hips, looking up, Dan by her side. ‘Oh, so now you care about the damned carpet, do you? Doesn’t look like you cared too much about it last night, while you and him were stripping off in the hallway.’ She pointed to the shoes, to the dried-on mud, the marks on the carpet beneath them. Bending over, Beth picked up the toast and then launched herself back into the kitchen, slamming the door behind her to leave Dan standing at the bottom of the stairs, grunting as both Molly and Niall sheepishly made their way down the stairs.

  ‘I shouldn’t have come. But crazily…’ He paused, bit down on his bottom lip, considered his options. ‘After what happened between us last night, I kind of thought we’d have something to talk about.’ He stood with his hand on the door. ‘I’ll call you later.’ His eyes flicked angrily from Molly to Niall. ‘When you’re alone.’

  ‘Dan, wait.’ The door slammed, Molly closed her eyes, hung onto the banister, heard a brief exchange between Dan and her grandad. Then the noise of his car, the engine kicking into gear, skidding in the mud.

  Feeling shocked, she stared at the door, leaned against the newel post, took a deep breath, then rolled her eyes at Niall who’d picked up his shoes. ‘Okay, well that certainly wasn’t what it sounded like, but if I were you, I’d take my chances and make a run for it now.’ She looked up, gave him an apologetic smile and felt her stomach twist. The happiness of their early morning lovemaking session had quickly disappeared, as their perfect morning came to what felt like a sudden and unexpected end.

  Stepping away, Niall blew out a breath, and silently he yanked his shoes on, his frustration obvious. Pulling open the front door, he paused, carefully considered his words. ‘Yeah, I think you’re right. I kinda,’ he looked her up and down, ‘I kinda need to process what just happened, take it all in.’ Hesitating, he leaned forward, kissed her firmly on the lips. ‘I’ll go look for your phone, and Dillon, I need to take him out, I’ll… I’ll catch you later.’

  ‘Niall, I promise you. It’s not how it looks, nothing happened. Dan came onto me, I pushed him off, made it very clear that he was out of order and well… it doesn’t look like he appreciated it,’ Molly shouted after him as he lifted a hand to wave at her grandad and then, with his hands pushed deep into his pockets, quickly disappeared into the sea fret and out of sight.

  ‘Moll.’ The kitchen door flew open. ‘You haven’t forgotten Grandad, have you? ’Cause when you’ve finished with the boyfriend, he’s waiting for you…’ Beth pushed another piece of toast into her mouth, chewed and looked nervously over her shoulder as her grandfather’s horn blasted out. ‘He’s getting annoyed. You know what he’s like, he won’t wait.’ She scowled, pointed a finger at Molly. ‘But you might wanna finish getting dressed before you go collect the car, cause what you’re wearing right now wouldn’t be a great look if you broke down. Oh, and…’ She continued to wave her finger, this time at the stairs, at the clothing that still lay there. Embarrassed, Molly scooped up the clothes, ma
rched them into the utility room, threw them in the basket. ‘Can I ask? Is he coming back? ’Cause if he is, I’ll be in my room. I really don’t feel like making small talk over breakfast.’

  Flopping onto her knees with a cloth, Molly attacked the mud that had dried on the new hallway carpet, watched Beth flounce up the stairs, across the landing and into her room, where she disappeared, slamming the door loudly behind her. Exasperated, she leaned against the wall, threw the cloth at the step, heard Grandad’s horn as once again it blasted out. Every day she seemed to do everything for everyone. The demands constantly grew, the expectations became more. Everyone wanted a piece of her, a piece she couldn’t always give. Yet the appreciation had become so much less. No one was ever happy, she couldn’t do right for doing wrong and on top of all that, her stress levels had grown to the point that she was imagining things, seeing Charlie everywhere she went.

  Molly pulled herself up, picked up the clothes that were still scattered all around her and began to get herself ready for the onslaught with her grandad, who she just knew would have an opinion, too.

  42

  ‘Grandad… I…’ Molly slouched in the passenger seat and pulled her seat belt across. She felt her mind spin and her stomach lurch as they drove through every pothole, and after the night she’d just had, she felt sure he was doing it on purpose. In the hope she could quell the nausea, she dropped the window and took in huge gulps of air.