by Mary Shelley
Monday, December 26 (Shelley). — The sweet Maie asleep; leave a note with her. Walk with Clara to Pike’s, etc. Go to Hampstead and look for a house; we return in a return-chaise; find that Laurence has arrived, and consult for Mary; she has read Miss Baillie’s plays all day. Mary better this evening. Shelley very much fatigued; sleeps all the evening. Read Candide.
Tuesday, December 27 (Mary). — Not very well; Shelley very unwell. Read De Montfort, and talk with Shelley in the evening. Read View of the French Revolution. Hogg comes in the evening; talk of heaps of things. Shelley’s odd dream.
Wednesday, December 28. — Shelley and Clara out all the morning. Read French Revolution in the evening. Shelley and I go to Gray’s Inn to get Hogg; he is not there; go to Arundel Street; can’t find him. Go to Garnerin’s. Lecture on electricity; the gases, and the phantasmagoria; return at half-past 9. Shelley goes to sleep. Read View of French Revolution till 12; go to bed.
Friday, December 30. — Shelley and Jane go out as usual. Read Bryan Edwards’s Account of West Indies. They do not return till past seven, having been locked into Kensington Gardens; both very tired. Hogg spends the evening with us.
Saturday, December 31 (Shelley). — The poor Maie was very weak and tired all day. Shelley goes to Pike’s and Humes’ and Mrs. Peacock’s; return very tired, and sleeps all the evening. The Maie goes to sleep early. New Year’s Eve.
In January 1815 Shelley’s grandfather, Sir Bysshe, died, and his father, Mr. Timothy Shelley, succeeded to the baronetcy and estate. By an arrangement with his father, according to which he relinquished all claim on a certain portion of his patrimony, Shelley now became possessed of £1000 a year (£200 a year of which he at once set apart for Harriet), as well as a considerable sum of ready money for the relief of his present necessities. £200 of this he also sent to Harriet to pay her debts. The next few entries in the journal were, however, written before this event.
Thursday, January 5 (Mary). — Go to breakfast at Hogg’s; Shelley leaves us there and goes to Hume’s. When he returns we go to Newman Street; see the statue of Theoclea; it is a divinity that raises your mind to all virtue and excellence; I never beheld anything half so wonderfully beautiful. Return home very ill. Expect Hogg in the evening, but he does not come. Too ill to read.
Friday, January 6. — Walk to Mrs. Peacock’s with Clara. Walk with Hogg to Theoclea; she is ten thousand times more beautiful to-day than ever; tear ourselves away. Return to Nelson Square; no one at home. Hogg stays a short time with me. Shelley had stayed at home till 2 to see Ryan; he does not come. Goes out about business. In the evening Shelley and Clara go to Garnerin’s.... Very unwell. Hogg comes. Shelley and Clara return at ten. Conversation as usual. Shelley reads “Ode to France” aloud, and repeats the poem to “Tranquillity.” Talk with Shelley afterwards for some time; at length go to sleep. Shelley goes out and sits in the other room till 5; I then call him. Talk. Shelley goes to sleep; at 8 Shelley rises and goes out.
The next entry is made during Shelley’s short absence in Sussex, after his grandfather’s death. Clara had accompanied him on his journey.
(Date between January 7 and January 13). — Letter from Peacock to say that he is in prison.... His debt is £40.... Write to Peacock and send him £2. Hogg dines with me and spends the evening; letter from Hookham.
Friday, January 13. — A letter from Clara. While I am at breakfast Shelley and Clara arrive. The will has been opened, and Shelley is referred to Whitton. His father would not allow him to enter Field Place; he sits before the door and reads Comus. Dr. Blocksome comes out; tells him that his father is very angry with him. Sees my name in Milton.... Hogg dines, and spends the evening with us.
Sunday, January 24. — In the evening Shelley, Clara, and Hogg sleep. Read Gibbon.... Hogg goes at half-past 11. Shelley and Clara explain as usual.
Monday, January 30. — Work all day. Shelley reads Livy. In the evening Shelley reads Paradise Regained aloud, and then goes to sleep. Hogg comes at 9. Talk and work. Hogg sleeps here.
Wednesday, February 1. — Read Gibbon (end of vol. i.) Shelley reads Livy in the evening. Work. Shelley and Clara sleep. Hogg comes and sleeps here. Mrs. Hill calls.
Sunday, February 5. — Read Gibbon. Take a long walk in Kensington Gardens and the Park; meet Clairmont as we return, and hear that my father wishes to see a copy of the codicil, because he thinks Shelley is acting rashly. All this is very odd and inconsistent, but I never quarrel with inconsistency; folks must change their minds. After dinner talk. Shelley finishes Gibbon’s Memoirs aloud. Clara, Shelley, and Hogg sleep. Read Gibbon. Shelley writes to Longdill and Clairmont. Hogg ill, but we cannot persuade him to stay; he goes at half-past 11.
Wednesday, February 8. — Ash Wednesday. So Hogg stays all day. We are to move to-day, so Shelley and Clara go out to look for lodgings. Hogg and I pack, and then talk. Shelley and Clara do not return till 3; they have not succeeded; go out again; they get apartments at Hans Place; move. In the evening talk and read Gibbon. Letters. Pike calls; insolent plague. Hogg goes at half-past 11.
Tuesday, February 14 (Shelley). — Shelley goes to Longdill’s and Hayward’s, and returns feverish and fatigued. Maie finishes the third volume of Gibbon. All unwell in the evening. Hogg comes and puts us to bed. Hogg goes at half-past 11.
In this month, probably on the 22d (but that page of the diary is torn), when they had been hardly more than a week in their last new lodgings, a little girl was born. Although her confinement was premature, Mary had a favourable time; the infant, a scarcely seven months’ child, was not expected to live; it survived, however, for some days. It might possibly have been saved, had it had an ordinary chance of life given it, but, on the ninth day of its existence, the whole family moved yet again to new lodgings. How the young mother ever recovered from the fatigues, risks, and worries she had to go through at this critical time may well be wondered. It is more than probable that the unreasonable demands made on her strength and courage during this month and those which preceded it laid the foundation of much weak health later on. The child was sacrificed. Four days after the move it was found in the morning dead by its mother’s side. The poor little thing was a mere passing episode in Shelley’s troubled, hurried existence. Only to Mary were its birth and death a deep and permanent experience. Apart from her love for Shelley, her affections had been chiefly of the intellectual kind, and even in her relation with him mental affinity had played a great part. A new chord in her temperament was set vibrating by the advent of this baby, the maternal one, quite absent from her disposition before, and which was to assert itself at last as the keynote of her nature.
Hogg, who was almost constantly with them at this time, seems to have been kind, helpful, and sympathetic.
The baby’s birth was too much for Fanny Godwin’s endurance and fortitude. Up to this time she had, in accordance with what she conceived to be her duty, held aloof from the Shelleys, but, the barrier once broken down, she came repeatedly to see them. Mrs. Godwin showed that she had a soft spot in her heart by sending Mary, through Fanny, a present of linen, no doubt most welcome at this unprepared-for crisis. Beyond this she was unrelenting. Her pride, however, was not so strong as her feminine curiosity, which she indulged still by parading before the windows and trying to get peeps at the people behind them. She was annoyed with Fanny, who now, however, held her own course, feeling that her duty could not be all on one side while her family consented to be dependent, and that every moment of her father’s peace and safety were due entirely to this Shelley whom he would not see.
Journal, February 22 (Shelley) (after the baby’s birth). — Maie perfectly well and at ease. The child is not quite seven months; the child not expected to live. Shelley sits up with Maie, much exhausted and agitated. Hogg sleeps here.
Thursday, February 23. — Mary quite well; the child unexpectedly alive, but still not expected to live. Hogg returns in the evening at half-past 7. Shelley writes to Fanny requesting her to come and see Maie. F
anny comes and remains the whole night, the Godwins being absent from home. Charles comes at 11 with linen from Mrs. Godwin. Hogg departs at 11. £30 from Longdill.
Friday, February 24. — Maie still well; favourable symptoms in the child; we may indulge some hopes. Hogg calls at 2. Fanny departs. Dr. Clarke calls; confirms our hopes of the child. Shelley finishes second volume of Livy, p. 657. Hogg comes in the evening. Shelley very unwell and exhausted.
Saturday, February 25. — The child very well; Maie very well also; drawing milk all day. Shelley is very unwell.
Sunday, February 26 (Mary). — Maie rises to-day. Hogg comes; talk; she goes to bed at 6. Hogg calls at the lodgings we have taken. Read Corinne. Shelley and Clara go to sleep. Hogg returns; talk with him till past 11. He goes. Shelley and Clara go down to tea. Just settling to sleep when a knock comes to the door; it is Fanny; she came to see how we were; she stays talking till half-past 3, and then leaves the room that Shelley and Mary may sleep. Shelley has a spasm.
Monday, February 27. — Rise; talk and read Corinne. Hogg comes in the evening. Shelley and Clara go out about a cradle....
Tuesday, February 28. — I come downstairs; talk, nurse the baby, read Corinne, and work. Shelley goes to Pemberton about his health.
Wednesday, March 1. — Nurse the baby, read Corinne, and work. Shelley and Clara out all morning. In the evening Peacock comes. Talk about types, editions, and Greek letters all the evening. Hogg comes. They go away at half-past 11. Bonaparte invades France.
Thursday, March 2. — A bustle of moving. Read Corinne. I and my baby go about 3. Shelley and Clara do not come till 6. Hogg comes in the evening.
Friday, March 3. — Nurse my baby; talk, and read Corinne. Hogg comes in the evening.
Saturday, March 4. — Read, talk, and nurse. Shelley reads the Life of Chaucer. Hogg comes in the evening and sleeps.
Sunday, March 5. — Shelley and Clara go to town. Hogg here all day. Read Corinne and nurse my baby. In the evening talk. Shelley finishes the Life of Chaucer. Hogg goes at 11.
Monday, March 6. — Find my baby dead. Send for Hogg. Talk. A miserable day. In the evening read Fall of the Jesuits. Hogg sleeps here.
Tuesday, March 7. — Shelley and Clara go after breakfast to town. Write to Fanny. Hogg stays all day with us; talk with him, and read the Fall of the Jesuits and Rinaldo Rinaldini. Not in good spirits. Hogg goes at 11. A fuss. To bed at 3.
Wednesday, March 8. — Finish Rinaldini. Talk with Shelley. In very bad spirits, but get better; sleep a little in the day. In the evening net. Hogg comes; he goes at half-past 11. Clara has written for Fanny, but she does not come.
Thursday, March 9. — Read and talk. Still think about my little baby. ‘Tis hard, indeed, for a mother to lose a child. Hogg and Charles Clairmont come in the evening. C. C. goes at 11. Hogg stays all night. Read Fontenelle, Plurality of Worlds.
Friday, March 10. — Hogg’s holidays begin. Shelley, Hogg, and Clara go to town. Hogg comes back soon. Talk and net. Hogg now remains with us. Put the room to rights.
Saturday, March 11. — Very unwell. Hogg goes to town. Talk about Clara’s going away; nothing settled; I fear it is hopeless. She will not go to Skinner Street; then our house is the only remaining place, I see plainly. What is to be done? Hogg returns. Talk, and Hogg reads the Life of Goldoni aloud.
Sunday, March 4. — Talk a great deal. Not well, but better. Very quiet all the morning, and happy, for Clara does not get up till 4. In the evening read Gibbon, fourth volume; go to bed at 12.
Monday, March 13. — Shelley and Clara go to town. Stay at home; net, and think of my little dead baby. This is foolish, I suppose; yet, whenever I am left alone to my own thoughts, and do not read to divert them, they always come back to the same point — that I was a mother, and am so no longer. Fanny comes, wet through; she dines, and stays the evening; talk about many things; she goes at half-past 9. Cut out my new gown.
Tuesday, March 14. — Shelley calls on Dr. Pemberton. Net till breakfast. Shelley reads Religio Medici aloud, after Hogg has gone to town. Work; finish Hogg’s purse. Shelley and I go upstairs and talk of Clara’s going; the prospect appears to me more dismal than ever; not the least hope. This is, indeed, hard to bear. In the evening Hogg reads Gibbon to me. Charles Clairmont comes in the evening.
Sunday, March 19. — Dream that my little baby came to life again; that it had only been cold, and that we rubbed it before the fire, and it lived. Awake and find no baby. I think about the little thing all day. Not in good spirits. Shelley is very unwell. Read Gibbon. Charles Clairmont comes. Hogg goes to town till dinner-time. Talk with Charles Clairmont about Skinner Street. They are very badly off there. I am afraid nothing can be done to save them. C. C. says that he shall go to America; this I think a rather wild project in the Clairmont style. Play a game of chess with Clara. In the evening Shelley and Hogg play at chess. Shelley and Clara walk part of the way with Charles Clairmont. Play chess with Hogg, and then read Gibbon.
Monday, March 20. — Dream again about my baby. Work after breakfast, and then go with Shelley, Hogg, and Clara to Bullock’s Museum; spend the morning there. Return and find more letters for A. Z. — one from a “Disconsolate Widow.”
Wednesday, March 22. — Talk, and read the papers. Read Gibbon all day. Charles Clairmont calls about Shelley lending £100. We do not return a decisive answer.
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Thursday, March 23. — Read Gibbon. Shelley reads Livy. Walk with Shelley and Hogg to Arundel Street. Read Le Diable Boiteux. Hear that Bonaparte has entered Paris. As we come home, meet my father and Charles Clairmont.... C. C. calls; he tells us that Papa saw us, and that he remarked that Shelley was so beautiful, it was a pity he was so wicked.
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Tuesday, March 28. — Work in the morning and then walk out to look at house.
Saturday, April 8. — Peacock comes at breakfast-time; Hogg and he go to town. Read L’Esprit des Nations. Settle to go to Virginia Water.
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Sunday, April 9. — Rise at 8. Charles Clairmont comes to breakfast at 10. Read some lines of Ovid before breakfast; after, walk with Shelley, Hogg, Clara, and C. C. to pond in Kensington Gardens; return about 2. C. C. goes to Skinner Street. Read Ovid with Hogg (finish second fable). Shelley reads Gibbon and Pastor Fido with Clara. In the evening read L’Esprit des Nations. Shelley reads Gibbon, Pastor Fido, and the story of Myrrha in Ovid.
Monday, April 10. — Read Voltaire before breakfast. After breakfast work. Shelley passes the morning with Harriet, who is in a surprisingly good humour. Mary reads third fable of Ovid: Shelley and Clara read Pastor Fido. Shelley reads Gibbon. Mrs. Godwin after dinner parades before the windows. Talk in the evening with Hogg about mountains and lakes and London.
Tuesday, April 11. — Work in the morning. Receive letters from Skinner Street to say that Mamma had gone away in the pet, and had stayed out all night. Read fourth and fifth fables of Ovid.... After tea, work. Charles Clairmont comes.
Saturday, April 15. — Read Ovid till 3. Shelley and Clara finish Pastor Fido, and then go out about Clara’s lottery ticket; draws. Clara’s ticket comes up a prize. She buys two desks after dinner. Read Ovid (ninety-five lines). Shelley and Clara begin Orlando Furioso. A very grim dream.
Friday, April 21. — After breakfast go with Shelley to Peacock’s. Shelley goes to Longdill’s. Read third canto of the Lord of the Isles. Return about 2. Shelley goes to Harriet to procure his son, who is to appear in one of the courts. After dinner look over W. W.’s poems. After tea read forty lines of Ovid. Fanny comes and gives us an account of Hogan’s threatened arrest of my Father. Shelley walks home part of the way with her. Very sleepy. Shelley reads one canto of Ariosto.
Saturday, April 22. — Read a little of Ovid. Shelley goes to Harriet’s about his son. Work. Fanny comes. Shelley returns at 4; he has been much teased with Harriet. He has been to Longdill’s, Whitton’s, etc., and at length has got a promise that he shall appear Monda
y. After dinner Fanny goes. Read sixty lines of Ovid. Shelley and Clara read to the middle of the fourteenth canto of Ariosto.
Shortly after this several leaves of the journal are lost.
Friday, May 5. — After breakfast to Marshall’s, but do not see him. Go to the Tomb. Shelley goes to Longdill’s. Return soon. Read Spenser; construe Ovid.... After dinner talk with Shelley; then Shelley and Clara go out.... Fanny comes; she tells us of Marshall’s servant’s death. Papa is to see Mrs. Knapp to-morrow. Read Spenser. Walk home with Fanny and with Shelley.... Shelley reads Seneca.
Monday, May 8. — Go out with Shelley to Mrs. Knapp; not at home. Buy Shelley a pencil-case. Return at 1. Read Spenser. Go again with Shelley to Mrs. Knapp; she cannot take Clara. Read Spenser after dinner. Clara goes out with Shelley. Talk with Jefferson (Hogg); write to Marshall. Read Spenser. They return at 8. Very tired; go to bed early. Jefferson scolds.
Wednesday, May 10. — Not very well; rise late. Walk to Marshall’s, and talk with him for an hour. Go with Jefferson and Shelley to British Museum — attend most to the statues; return at 2. Construe Ovid. After dinner construe Ovid (100 lines); finish second book of Spenser, and read two cantos of the third. Shelley reads Seneca every day and all day.
Friday, May 12. — Not very well. After breakfast read Spenser. Shelley goes out with his friend; he returns first. Construe Ovid (90 lines); read Spenser. Jefferson returns at half-past 4, and tells us that poor Sawyer is to be hung. These blessed laws! After dinner read Spenser. Read over the Ovid to Jefferson, and construe about ten lines more. Read Spenser. Shelley and the lady walk out. After tea, talk; write Greek characters. Shelley and his friend have a last conversation.
Saturday, May 13. — Clara goes; Shelley walks with her. C. C. comes to breakfast; talk. Shelley goes out with him. Read Spenser all day (finish Canto 8, Book V.) Jefferson does not come till 5. Get very anxious about Shelley; go out to meet him; return; it rains. Shelley returns at half-past 6; the business is finished. After dinner Shelley is very tired, and goes to sleep. Read Ovid (60 lines). C. C. comes to tea. Talk of pictures.