by Abbi Glines
I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. There were so many reasons why I could never have Beau. And every time I voiced one it ripped another hole in my heart.
“You’re right,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
Hearing him agree felt as if he’d just run a sword through my chest. I bit back a sob and turned my head away from him.
Neither of us spoke again.
When he pulled into the parking spot beside my car, Sawyer was at the passenger side of Beau’s truck, immediately opening it and reaching for me.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ve been so wrapped up in football that I’ve been ignoring you. You just lost your Grana and now your relatives have invaded your house.” He pulled me into his arms and I let him hold me. Right now my chest ached so badly I needed someone to hold me together. Even if that someone wasn’t Beau.
“Thank you, Beau. You were there for her when I wasn’t. I owe you one,” Sawyer said over my head. I didn’t look at Beau. I kept my face buried in Sawyer’s chest.
“You’re welcome,” he replied. Sawyer closed the truck door and I listened as the tires crunched over the gravel. The sound of Beau driving off and leaving me here with Sawyer.
“Come back to my house with me. I’m grilling outside with Dad tonight and my parents would love to have you over,” Sawyer said, pulling back to gaze down at me. I couldn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no. Going home meant more Lana and more Aunt Caroline.
“Okay.”
Chapter 14
Beau
“Hey, Beau.”
I turned around to see Kayla walking up beside me with a clipboard in her hands. The halls were packed with everyone stopping by their locker in between classes. This would be the time Kayla hunted me down to ask me a question. It was impossible to get away from her in this crowd. She gave me a flirty smile and licked her lips. Kayla was only brave enough to speak to me when Nicole was nowhere around.
“Kayla,” I replied and kept walking, forcing her to jog a little in order to keep up with me. Normally clipboards and Kayla meant the head cheerleader was going to try to rope you into something.
“You haven’t picked your spirit girl yet.”
That comment didn’t even rank a reply. I never picked my spirit girl. Someone always ended up doing it. Actually, I normally had several volunteers eager and willing at my locker on game day begging to meet all my needs.
“I can put your name in the hat for one of the girls to draw your name or you can pick. The rest of the first string have picked already. So several of the girls already have their two guys. If you want one of the top picks you need to claim her now.”
Again no reason to respond.
“Okay, well here are the best or most popular picks who still have one opening left: Heather Kerr, Blair, Heidi, Noel, Heather Long, and Amy.”
Ashton stood beside her locker trying not to appear as if she was listening. I could see her watching me from the corner of her eyes. That caught my attention. The ache which had taken up residence in my chest these days squeezed, reminding me why it was there. Would this feeling ever go away? How long would seeing her hurt so bad?
“Oh, and Ashton of course.” Kayla’s chipper tone finally said the one word I couldn’t drown out.
“What about Ashton?” I asked, tearing my gaze away from her to stare down at Kayla.
“She’s still available. No one has picked her except Sawyer of course. I don’t think anyone will. No one wants her because they know they won’t be getting any special treatment from her. All the special treatment she’ll be dishing out will be for Sawyer.”
“I want her.”
“You do? Really?”
“Yes.”
“But you know Noel has a thing for you and I can promise she’ll meet all your needs,” Kayla started saying.
“I want Ashton,” I repeated and glared down at her before turning and heading outside to the field house.
Asking for Ashton might be opening myself up for more pain but the thought of her doing things for Sawyer was enough to drive me crazy. The thought of her having to make cookies for yet another guy and decorating his locker and making him cards infuriated me. Besides, I wasn’t doing so great in Chemistry. I needed some tutoring. The one on one kind where boyfriends weren’t allowed.
“That was one helluva catch,” Sawyer said as we picked up our helmets we’d thrown on the sidelines before we ran suicides. I didn’t look at him as I turned and headed toward the fifty-yard line to grab the gloves I’d taken off earlier.
“I was a little more focused today,” I replied, jogging out to grab my gloves. Sawyer followed me. I needed some distance from him. Today he’d pushed me a little too far with his affection toward Ashton. He of course didn’t know that.
“I’d started to get worried about you. The last few practices you have seemed off. But today you seemed to find your sweet spot.”
A week ago his comment would have made me feel guilty. But after having to endure him kissing and touching Ashton daily, my guilty conscience was being replaced by rage. Why the hell should he get to have it all? Our entire lives he’d had it all but I’d never cared. Never wanted or asked him for anything. Now he had the one thing I wanted more than air and he didn’t even know her. The girl he loved didn’t exist.
“Guess I just got rusty this summer,” I mumbled.
“Well, you’re back. Looked great out there,” Sawyer grinned.
His phone beeped and I forced myself to look away as he checked his text. I hated knowing it was probably Ashton texting him. I hated how badly I wanted to know what she said to him. Did she tell him she loved him? Did she send him little texts asking him to meet her places? Did she make those sexy little moans—STOP IT. I had to stop thinking about them together as a couple.
“Hey, Beau, you and Ash got kind of close this summer. I mean she unloaded on you the other day about her stress at home and she no longer gets that pinched look on her face when I mention your name. Which is a good thing. I’m glad the two people who mean the most to me finally remembered they were once friends.”
How did I respond to this? I just nodded.
“Would you, uh, mind doing me a favor? I mean, if you and Nic don’t have anything going on tonight. It’s just I told Ashton I’d take her out to get something to eat and maybe a movie. You know, to get her out of the house and away from the crazy family members. But Dad just texted me and he needs me to go with him to meet with a friend of his who’s in town for the evening and has connections at the University athletic department. It’s important and Dad has worked really hard to set this meeting up. But I don’t want to let Ash down either. Could you take her out for me? If you aren’t already doing something with Nic. Because we both know how she feels about Nic. I don’t want to throw her into a situation that makes her uncomfortable.”
Did he really just ask me to take Ash out tonight? Was he insane? He didn’t deserve her. Any guy who would blow her off for something his daddy wanted shouldn’t get to have her.
“Sure,” I replied, hearing the clipped tone in my voice. Stupid-ass cousin of mine had no clue what he was asking for. I was already headed for hell, I might as well enjoy the ride.
“Great, thanks man. Her favorite place to eat is the Seafood Shack. Just meet us there at six. I can grab a drink and spend a few minutes with you guys until I have to head out and meet Dad.”
She hated the fried shrimp at the Seafood Shack and their sweet tea always tasted bitter. It was Sawyer’s favorite place and she had no doubt agreed with him it was the best place to eat in town. He didn’t know her at all.
“Since I’m agreeing to help out let’s do this my way. I hate the Seafood Shack. I’m sure Princess Ashton won’t mind slumming it at Hank’s. The burgers there are better than anything the Seafood Shack has and she really needs to taste their sweet tea.”
Sawyer frowned a moment then nodded. “Okay, Ash’s agreeable. I’m sure she’ll be fine with Hank’s. I’ve
taken her there a couple times but I think she might agree with you on the burgers. I remember her scarfing one down.”
With bacon and cheese on a toasted bun. She even makes these cute little sounds of pleasure as she eats one. One of the many things I can’t believe he doesn’t know about her.
The familiar smell of grease and burgers met me at the door as I stepped inside Hank’s. The red-checkered formica tables were already filling up. I nodded at Hank as I passed the grill and made my way to the back. There were more secluded booths in the back. I didn’t want the whole place watching our every move. If I was going to have Ashton to myself, I wanted to enjoy it without a freaking audience.
I went ahead and ordered Ash’s tea and the cheese dip she loved. When Sawyer had texted me to tell me they were on their way I’d been surprised. Although I’d agreed to this I hadn’t really thought Ashton would. The fact she’d gone along with this had put me in a very good mood.
Ashton
“There he is in the back,” Sawyer said, taking my hand and leading me to the back of Hank’s. My heart sped up at the thought of being back in the secluded booth alone with Beau.
“Hey man, sorry we’re late. I had to drop some flowers off at the nursing home,” Sawyer explained. He motioned for me to go in first. I scooted toward the wall and he slid in beside me. Beau slid a glass of sweet tea toward me.
“I haven’t been here long. I went ahead and got mine and Ash’s drinks but I didn’t order for you. I wasn’t sure what you wanted,” Beau said.
My favorite cheese dip sat in front of him and he moved it over toward me as well. “Go ahead and help yourself. I’ve had all of this I want.”
My cheeks became warm remembering the last night we’d shared this cheese dip. It’d been on the way home from our day at the beach.
“I’m good, but thanks. I only have a few minutes then I’ve got to go meet Dad,” Sawyer said.
Beau glanced at me briefly then turned his attention back to Sawyer.
“Good luck with your meeting.”
“Thanks, I’m pumped about it. I hate I’m having to leave my girl but this could be important to my future. I appreciate you hanging out with her tonight.”
“Well, you owe me one. Actually you owe me a few. I also took Ash as my spirit girl today. Someone else was going to get her if I didn’t and I figured you wouldn’t want that.”
He sounded as if he was doing Sawyer some big favor. I wasn’t a child who needed to be babysat. I didn’t come tonight because I couldn’t bear to be at home. I’d come because I wanted to be with Beau.
“Just let me know when you want to collect the favors. And thanks for picking Ash. I know you could’ve picked someone else who would’ve made you happier but I appreciate you having my back.” Sawyer sounded like Beau hanging out with me and having me as a spirit girl was some huge sacrifice. It took all my will power to keep from telling them both to go to hell and storming out of the restaurant.
“I’ll be sure to call them in when I need them,” Beau said with a grin on his face I suddenly wanted to slap off.
“Alright, I need to head out,” Sawyer said, leaning down to kiss me. I turned my face and glared at the wall behind him, causing his lips to land on my cheek.
“And I’ll try not to be too difficult for your cousin,” I said with unmistakable anger laced in my voice. Sawyer frowned from my tone. I faked a smile I knew he would believe. That seemed to be enough for him. He nodded and headed out. I waited until the door closed behind him before I turned back around to glower at Beau.
“I’m not some kid who needs pacifying. I can take care of myself. As soon as he’s had time to leave the parking lot I’m going to start walking home.”
Beau sat there grinning at me as if I’d just told him he’d won a million dollars.
“God, how I’ve missed that,” he said.
“What?”
“Seeing the real you. You almost unleashed it right here in front of him. I could see the confusion on his face when you let that sexy snarl loose in your voice. Damn, it was hot.”
I sat there staring at him, completely confused. Had he made me angry on purpose?
“Are you telling me you baited me? You tried to get me to snap in front of him?” I asked, trying hard to control my temper.
“Ah, and there it comes again, but this time Mr. Perfect isn’t here so I’m going to get to see it all full force.”
Tears stung my eyes. I’d imagined tonight so much differently. Getting to be alone with Beau and having Sawyer know about it and be okay with it had sounded like a dream come true. Instead, Beau decides to treat me like some kind of enjoyable sideshow.
“I’m not here for entertainment purposes, Beau. I agreed to this tonight because foolishly I wanted to spend the evening with you. I miss you. And I thought . . . I thought you agreed to it because you missed me too.”
A lump formed in my throat and I grabbed my purse. I needed to get out before I made an idiot of myself and started crying. I was an emotional wreck. I couldn’t take Beau hurting me. It was just too much.
“Ash, wait.” Beau’s words caused me to pause but I didn’t glance back. I would cave in and then I would be opening myself up to getting hurt some more. I hurried for the door.
Chapter 15
My house was seven miles away and in the dark walking very far wouldn’t be smart. Besides, Beau would just find me and drive alongside me trying to get me to get in his stupid truck. I turned and ran down the narrow paved road leading to the high school. The street lights lit up the tree-lined road enough to keep it from being spooky. It was less than a mile from Hank’s and I could go sit on the bleachers at the football field and have Sawyer pick me up there when he was finished.
My phone dinged and I glanced at the text message.
Beau: Ash I’m sorry. Please tell me where ur at
I clicked ignore and kept heading toward the football field.
Right before I reached the gate entrance, headlights illuminated the darkness behind me. I didn’t stop walking. If it was Beau, and I was pretty sure it was, I needed to get away from him. I wanted to cry and I couldn’t cry with him around to watch. His truck door slammed and I heard his feet running on the gravel. I’d never be able to outrun him but I could try.
“Ash, I’m sorry.” His arms came around me before I could break out into a run.
“Beau, let me go. I want to be alone. I’ll call Sawyer and he can pick me up later and take me home.”
“No,” he replied.
“That wasn’t a yes or no question. It was a demand. Now, leave.”
“Ash, you’ve got to listen to me. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just trying to see the fire behind your eyes. I missed it and I selfishly lashed out knowing you’d get angry. I was wrong and I’m so, so sorry. Please.”
He buried his head in the crook of my neck and took a deep breath. If I had any intention of staying mad at him it flew right out the window when he did something so vulnerable as nuzzling my neck.
“So you don’t consider this a babysitting job in which Sawyer owes you one?” I asked in a much softer tone than I’d been using.
“God no, you know that,” he replied, still nuzzling my neck. He threaded his fingers through mine. “And asking for me as your spirit girl wasn’t some great service you did for him? Because I can refuse to do it and you can ask for another girl.”
He stilled then made a trail of kisses up my neck to my ear.
“The thought of you doing things for Sawyer on game day is hard enough. I couldn’t imagine you making cookies for some other guy and decorating his locker and kissing his cheek at the pep rally. The only spirit girl I’ll ever want is you.”
I turned around in his arms and stared up at him.
“I’m not real strong emotionally right now. With everything going on at home and then coming to school and seeing you . . .” I stopped explaining. Telling him how much I hated seeing Nicole in his arms and hanging on him wasn�
�t fair. He cupped my face in his hands.
“And I’m the biggest asshole in the world for not thinking about that before treating you the way I did. I’m so sorry, Ash, please forgive me.”
I stood up on my tip toes and kissed him. “You’re forgiven,” I whispered then reluctantly took a step back. “We should go,” I said then turned to go to his truck.
I didn’t scoot over to sit beside him as he pulled out of the parking lot. I glanced down at his hand and noticed the tight grip he had on the stick shift. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. I was in Beau’s truck again. We were alone and it was okay with Sawyer. I sighed and turned my head to stare out the window and watch the trees pass by as Beau drove back to Hank’s.
“Wait here. I’ll be right back,” he said then jumped out of the truck and went inside. He returned seconds later with a takeout bag in his hand.
I watched as he climbed back in the truck and gave me his crooked grin.
“Bacon cheese burger on a toasted bun,” he explained as he held it out to me.
“Thank you,” I replied, feeling my heart swell up from the simple fact he remembered what I liked to eat here.
“I couldn’t let you go home tonight without feeding you. Especially after I’d made sure we would be eating somewhere you actually liked. I didn’t save you from the Shrimp Shack for nothing.”
So that was why Sawyer had changed the location. I grinned and opened the bag.
“Well, you still owe me your company while I eat.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really . . . you think so?”
“Definitely. I’ll feel gypped if I’m forced to eat alone.”
He nodded and turned his truck towards the outskirts of town. It looked like we would be ending our night with a game of pool.