IV
ONCE A SCOTCHMAN, ALWAYS
Terrific sound waves beat upon the Arrowhead ranch house this night. Atfive o'clock a hundred and twenty Hereford calves had been torn fromtheir anguished mothers for the first time and shut into a too adjacentfeeding pen. Mothers and offspring, kept a hundred yards apart by twostout fences, unceasingly bawled their grief, a noble chorus of yearningand despair. The calves projected a high, full-throated barytone, withhere and there a wailing tenor against the rumbling bass of their dams.And ever and again pealed distantly into the chorus the flute obbligatoof an emotional coyote down on the flat. There was never a diminuendo.The fortissimo had been steadily maintained for three hours and wouldendure the night long, perhaps for two other nights.
At eight o'clock I sleepily wondered how I should sleep. And thuswondering, I marvelled at the indifference to the racket of my hostess,Mrs. Lysander John Pettengill. Through dinner and now as she read a SanFrancisco newspaper she had betrayed no consciousness of it. She readher paper and from time to time she chuckled.
"How do you like it?" I demanded, referring to the monstrous din.
"It's great," she said, plainly referring to something else. "One ofthem real upty-up weddings in high life, with orchestras and bowers oforchids and the bride a vision of loveliness--"
"I mean the noise."
"What noise?" She put the paper aside and stared at me, listeningintently. I saw that she was honestly puzzled, even as the chorusswelled to unbelievable volume. I merely waved a hand. The coyote wasthen doing a most difficult tremolo high above the clamour.
"Oh, that!" said my enlightened hostess. "That's nothing; just a littlebunch of calves being weaned. We never notice that--and say, they gotthe groom's mother in here, too. Yes, sir, Ellabelle in all her tiarasand sunbursts and dog collars and diamond chest protectors--Mrs. AngusMcDonald, mother of groom, in a stunning creation! I bet they didn'tneed any flashlight when they took her, not with them stones all overher person. They could have took her in a coal cellar."
"How do you expect to sleep with all that going on?" I insisted.
"All what? Oh, them calves. That's nothing! Angus says to her when theyfirst got money: 'Whatever you economize in, let it not be in diamonds!'He says nothing looks so poverty-stricken as a person that can onlyafford a few. Better wear none at all than just a mere handful, hesays. What do you think of that talk from a man named Angus McDonald?You'd think a Scotchman and his money was soon parted, but I heard himsay it from the heart out. And yet Ellabelle never does seem to get him.Only a year ago, when I was at this here rich place down from SanFrancisco where they got the new marble palace, there was a lovelyblow-up and Ellabelle says to me in her hysteria: 'Once a Scotchman,always a Scotchman!' Oh, she was hysteric all right! She was like what Iseen about one of the movie actresses, 'the empress of stormy emotion.'Of course she feels better now, after the wedding and all this newspaperguff. And it was a funny blow-up. I don't know as I blamed her at thetime."
I now closed a window and a door upon the noisy September night. Ithelped a little. I went back to a chair nearer to this woman with earstrained in rejection. That helped more. I could hear her now, save inthe more passionate intervals of the chorus.
"All right, then. What was the funny blow-up?" She caught thesignificance of the closed door and window.
"But that's music," she insisted. "Why, I'd like to have a good recordof about two hundred of them white-faced beauties being weaned, so Icould play it on a phonograph when I'm off visiting--only it would makeme too homesick." She glanced at the closed door and window in a waythat I found sinister.
"I couldn't hear you," I suggested.
"Oh, all right!" She listened wistfully a moment to the now slightlydulled oratorio, then: "Yes, Angus McDonald is his name; but there aretwo kinds of Scotch, and Angus is the other kind. Of course he's one ofthe big millionaires now, with money enough to blind any kind of aScotchman, but he was the other kind even when he first come out to us,a good thirty years ago, without a cent. He's a kind of second or thirdcousin of mine by marriage or something--I never could quite work itout--and he'd learned his trade back in Ohio; but he felt that the Eastdidn't have any future to speak of, so he decided to come West. He was apainter and grainer and kalsominer and paperhanger, that kind ofthing--a good, quiet boy about twenty-five, not saying much, chunky andslow-moving but sure, with a round Scotch head and a snub nose, and oneheavy eyebrow that run clean across his face--not cut in two like mostare.
"He landed on the ranch and slowly looked things over and let on after afew days that he mebbe would be a cowboy on account of it taking himoutdoors more than kalsomining would. Lysander John was pretty busy, buthe said all right, and gave him a saddle and bridle and a pair of bullpants and warned him about a couple of cinch-binders that he mustn't tryto ride or they would murder him. And so one morning Angus asked alittle bronch-squeezer we had, named Everett Sloan, to pick him outsomething safe to ride, and Everett done so. Brought him up a nice oldrope horse that would have been as safe as a supreme-court judge, butthe canny Angus says: 'No, none of your tricks now! That beast has thevery devil in his eye, and you wish to sit by and laugh your fool headoff when he displaces me.' 'Is that so?' says Everett. 'I suspect you,'says Angus. 'I've read plentifully about the tricks of you cowlads.''Pick your own horse, then,' says Everett. 'I'd better,' says Angus, andpicks one over by the corral gate that was asleep standing up, with awisp of hay hanging out of his mouth like he'd been too tired to finisheating it. 'This steed is more to my eye,' says Angus. 'He's old andwithered and he has no evil ambitions. But maybe I can wake him up.''Maybe you can,' says Everett, 'but are you dead sure you want to?'Angus was dead sure. 'I shall thwart your murderous design,' says he. SoEverett with a stung look helped him saddle this one. He had his alibiall right, and besides, nothing ever did worry that buckaroo as long ashis fingers wasn't too cold to roll a cigarette.
"The beast was still asleep when Angus forked him. Without seeming towake up much he at once traded ends, poured Angus out of the saddle, andstacked him up in some mud that was providentially there--mud softenough to mire your shadow. Angus got promptly up, landed a strong kickin the ribs of the outlaw which had gone to sleep again before he lit,shook hands warmly with Everett and says: 'What does a man need with twotrades anyway? Good-bye!'
"But when Lysander John hears about it he says Angus has just the rightstuff in him for a cowman. He says he has never known one yet that youcould tell anything to before he found it out for himself, and Angusmust sure have the makings of a good one, so he persuades him to stayround for a while, working at easy jobs that couldn't stack him up, andlater he sent him to Omaha with the bunch in charge of a trainload ofsteers.
"The trip back was when his romance begun. Angus had kept fancy-free upto that time, being willing enough but thoroughly cautious. Do youremember the eating-house at North Platte, Nebraska? The night trainfrom Omaha would reach there at breakfast time and you'd get out in thefrosty air, hungry as a confirmed dyspeptic, and rush into the big redbuilding past the man that was rapidly beating on a gong with one ofthese soft-ended bass-drum sticks. My, the good hot smells inside!Tables already loaded with ham and eggs and fried oysters and friedchicken and sausage and fried potatoes and steaks and hot biscuits andcorn bread and hot cakes and regular coffee--till you didn't know whichto begin on, and first thing you knew you had your plate loaded with toomany things--but how you did eat!--and yes, thank you, another cup ofcoffee, and please pass the sirup this way. And no worry about thetrain pulling out, because there the conductor is at that other tableand it can't go without him, so take your time--and about three more ofthem big fried oysters, the only good fried ones I ever had in theworld! To this day I get hungry thinking of that North Platte breakfast,and mad when I go into the dining-car as we pass there and try to getthe languid mulatto to show a little enthusiasm.
"Well, they had girls at that eating-house. Of course no one evernoticed 'em much, being too famished a
nd busy. You only knew in ageneral way that females was passing the food along. But Angus actuallydid notice Ellabelle, though it must have been at the end of the meal,mebbe when she was pouring the third cup. Ellabelle was never rightpretty to my notion, but she had some figure and kind of a sad dignity,and her brown hair lacked the towers and minarets and golden domes thatthe other girls built with their own or theirs by right of purchase. Andshe seems to have noticed Angus from the very first. Angus saw that whenshe wasn't passing the fried chicken or the hot biscuits along, even forhalf a minute, she'd pick up a book from the window sill and glancestudiously at its pages. He saw the book was called 'Lucile.' And helooked her over some more--between mouthfuls, of course--theneat-fitting black dress revealing every line of her lithe young figure,like these magazine stories say, the starched white apron and the lookof sad dignity that had probably come of fresh drummers trying to teachher how to take a joke, and the smooth brown hair--he'd probably gotwise to the other kind back in the social centres of Ohio--and all atonce he saw there was something about her. He couldn't tell what it was,but he knew it was there. He heard one of the over-haired ones call herEllabelle, and he committed the name to memory.
"He also remembered the book she was reading. He come back with a copyhe'd bought at Spokane and kept it on his bureau. Not that he read itmuch. It was harder to get into than 'Peck's Bad Boy,' which was hisfavourite reading just then.
"Pretty soon another load of steers is ready--my sakes, what scrubbyrunts we sent off the range in them days compared to now!--and Anguspleads to go, so Lysander John makes a place for him and, coming back,here's Ellabelle handing the hot things along same as ever, with'Lucile' at hand for idle moments. This time Angus again made certainthere was something about her. He cross-examined her, I suppose, betweenthe last ham and eggs and the first hot cakes. Her folks was cornfarmers over in Iowa and she'd gone to high school and had meant to be ateacher, but took this job because with her it was anything to get outof Iowa, which she spoke of in a warm, harsh way.
"Angus nearly lost the train that time, making certain there wassomething about her. He told her to be sure and stay there till heshowed up again. He told me about her when he got back. 'There'ssomething about her,' he says. 'I suspect it's her eyes, though it mightbe something else.'
"Me? I suspected there was something about her, too; only I thought itwas just that North Platte breakfast and his appetite. No meal can everbe like breakfast to them that's two-fisted, and Angus was. He'd thinkthere was something about any girl, I says to myself, seeing her throughthe romantic golden haze of them North Platte breakfast victuals. Ofcourse I didn't suggest any such base notion to Angus, knowing howlittle good it does to talk sense to a man when he thinks there'ssomething about a girl. He tried to read 'Lucile' again, but couldn'tseem to strike any funny parts.
"Next time he went to Omaha, a month later, he took his other suit andhis new boots. 'I shall fling caution to the winds and seal my fate,' hesays. 'There's something about her, and some depraved scoundrel mightfind it out.' 'All right, go ahead and seal,' I says. 'You can't expectus to be shipping steers every month just to give you twenty minuteswith a North Platte waiter girl.' 'Will she think me impetuous?' sayshe. 'Better that than have her think you ain't,' I warns him. 'Men havebeen turned down for ten million reasons, and being impetuous is aboutthe only one that was never numbered among them. It will be strangeo'clock when that happens.' 'She's different,' says Angus. 'Of course,'I says. 'We're all different. That's what makes us so much alike.' 'Youmight know,' says he doubtfully.
"He proved I did, on the trip back. He marched up to Ellabelle's end ofthe table in his other suit and his new boots and a startling necktiehe'd bought at a place near the stockyards in South Omaha, and proposedhonourable marriage to her, probably after the first bite of sausage andwhile she was setting his coffee down. 'And you've only twenty minutes,'he says, 'so hurry and pack your grip. We'll be wed when we get off thetrain.' 'You're too impetuous,' says Ellabelle, looking more than everas if there was something about her. 'There, I was afraid I'd be,' saysAngus, quitting on some steak and breaking out into scarlet rash. 'Whatdid you think I am?' demands Ellabelle. 'Did you think I would answeryour beck and call or your lightest nod as if I were your slave orsomething? Little you know me,' she says, tossing her head indignantly.'I apologize bitterly,' says Angus. 'The very idea is monstrous,' saysshe. 'Twenty minutes--and with all my packing! You will wait over tillthe four-thirty-two this afternoon,' she goes on, very stern andnervous, 'or all is over between us.' 'I'll wait as long as that foryou,' says Angus, going to the steak again. 'Are the other meals here asgood as breakfast?' 'There's one up the street,' says Ellabelle; 'aPresbyterian.' 'I would prefer a Presbyterian,' says Angus. 'Are thosefried oysters I see up there?'
"That was about the way of it, I gathered later. Anyway, Angus broughther back, eating on the way a whole wicker suitcase full of lunch thatshe put up. And she seemed a good, capable girl, all right. She told methere was something about Angus. She'd seen that from the first. Evenso, she said, she hadn't let him sweep her off her feet like he hadmeant to, but had forced him to give her time to do her packing andconsider the grave step she was taking for better or worse, like everytrue, serious-minded woman ought to.
"Angus now said he couldn't afford to fritter away any more time in thecattle business, having a wife to support in the style she had beenaccustomed to, so he would go to work at his trade. He picked outWallace, just over in Idaho, as a young and growing town where he coulddo well. He rented a nice four-room cottage there, with an icebox out onthe back porch and a hammock in the front yard, and begun to paper andpaint and grain and kalsomine and made good money from the start.Ellabelle was a crackajack housekeeper and had plenty of time to lie outin the hammock and read 'Lucile' of afternoons.
"By and by Angus had some money saved up, and what should he do withbits of it now and then but grubstake old Snowstorm Hickey, who'd beenscratching mountainsides all his life and never found a thing and likelynever would--a grouchy old hardshell with white hair and whiskerswhirling about his head in such quantities that a body just naturallycalled him Snowstorm without thinking. It made him highly indignant,but he never would get the things cut. Well, and what does this oldsnow-scene-in-the-Alps do after about a year but mush along up the canonpast Mullan and find a high-grade proposition so rich it was scandalous!They didn't know how rich at first, of course, but Angus got assays andthey looked so good they must be a mistake, so they sunk a shaft anddrifted in a tunnel, and the assays got better, and people with moneywas pretty soon taking notice.
"One day Snowstorm come grouching down to Angus and tells about acapitalist that had brought two experts with him and nosed over theworkings for three days. Snowstorm was awful dejected. He had hated thecapitalist right off. 'He wears a gold watch chain and silk underclotheslike one of these fly city dames,' says Snowstorm, who was a knowing oldscoundrel, 'and he says his syndicate on the reports of these twothieving experts will pay twelve hundred for it and not a cent more.What do you think of that for nerve?'
"'Is that all?' says Angus, working away at his job in the newInternational Hotel at Wallace. Graining a door in the dining-room hewas, with a ham rind and a stocking over one thumb nail, doing littlecurlicues in the brown wet paint to make it look like what the wood wasat first before it was painted at all. 'Well,' he says, 'I suspectedfrom the assays that we might get a bit more, but if he had expertswith him you better let him have it for twelve hundred. After all,twelve hundred dollars is a good bit of money.'
"'Twelve hundred thousand,' says Snowstorm, still grouchy.
"'Oh,' says Angus. 'In that case don't let him have it. If the sharkoffers that it'll be worth more. I'll go into the mining business myselfas soon as I've done this door and the wainscoting and give them theirvarnish.'
"He did so. He had the International finished in three more days, turneddown a job in the new bank building cold, and went into the miningbusiness just like he'd do anything
else--slow and sure, yet impetuoushere and there. It wasn't a hard proposition, the stuff being therenearly from the grass roots, and the money soon come a-plenty. Snowstormnot only got things trimmed up but had 'em dyed black as a crow's wingand retired to a life of sinful ease in Spokane, eating bacon and beansand cocoanut custard pie three times a day till the doctors found outwhat a lot of expensive things he had the matter with him.
"Angus not only kept on the job but branched out into other mines thathe bought up, and pretty soon he quit counting his money. You know whatthat would mean to most of his race. It fazed him a mite at first. Hetried faithfully to act like a crazy fool with his money, experimentingwith revelry and champagne for breakfast, and buying up the Sans Soosydance hall every Saturday night for his friends and admirers. But hewasn't gaited to go on that track long. Even Ellabelle wasn't worriedthe least bit, and in fact she thought something of the kind was due hisposition. And she was busy herself buying the things that are champagneto a woman, only they're kept on the outside. That was when Angus toldher if she was going in for diamonds at all to get enough so she couldappear to be wasteful and contemptuous of them. Two thousand she givefor one little diamond circlet to pin her napkin up on her chest with.It was her own idea.
"Then Angus for a time complicated his amateur debauchery with fasthorses. He got him a pair of matched pacing stallions that would goanywhere, he said. And he frequently put them there when he had the mainchandelier lighted. In driving them over a watering-trough one night anaccident of some sort happened. Angus didn't come to till after his legwas set and the stitches in--eight in one place, six in another, and soon; I wonder why they're always so careful to count the stitches in aperson that way--and he wished to know if his new side-bar buggy wassafe and they told him it wasn't, and he wanted to know where his teamwas, but nobody knew that for three days, so he says to the doctors andEllabelle: 'Hereafter I suspect I shall take only soft drinks like beerand sherry. Champagne has a bonnier look but it's too enterprising. Imight get into trouble some time.' And he's done so to this day. Oh,I've seen him take a sip or two of champagne to some one's health, oras much Scotch whiskey in a tumbler of water as you could dribble from amedium-boilered fountain pen. But that's a high riot with him. He'll eatone of these corned peaches in brandy, and mebbe take a cream pitcher ofbeer on his oatmeal of a morning when his stomach don't feel just right,but he's never been a willing performer since that experiment inhurdling.
"When he could walk again him and Ellabelle moved to the InternationalHotel, where she wouldn't have to cook or split kindling and could makea brutal display of diamonds at every meal, and we went down to seethem. That was when Angus give Lysander John the scarfpin he'd sentclear to New York for--a big gold bull's head with ruby eyes and in itsmouth a nugget of platinum set with three diamonds. Of course LysanderJohn never dast wear it except when Angus was going to see it.
"Then along comes Angus, Junior, though poor Ellabelle thinks forseveral days that he's Elwin. We'd gone down so I could be with her.
"'Elwin is the name I have chosen for my son,' says she to Angus thethird day.
"'Not so,' says Angus, slumping down his one eyebrow clear across in afirm manner. 'You're too late. My son is already named. I named himAngus the night before he was born.'
"'How could you do that when you didn't know the sex?' demands Ellabellewith a frightened air of triumph.
"'I did it, didn't I?' says Angus. 'Then why ask how I could?' And hecurved the eyebrow up one side and down the other in a fighting way.
"Ellabelle had been wedded wife of Angus long enough to know when theScotch curse was on him. 'Very well,' she says, though turning her faceto the wall. Angus straightened the eyebrow. 'Like we might have twonow, one of each kind,' says he quite soft, 'you'd name your daughter asyou liked, with perhaps no more than a bit of a suggestion from me, tobe taken or not by you, unless we'd contend amiably about it for alength of time till we had it settled right as it should be. But ason--my son--why, look at the chest on him already, projecting outwardlike a clock shelf--and you would name him--but no matter! I wasforehanded, thank God.' Oh, you saw plainly that in case a girl evercome along Ellabelle would have the privilege of naming it anything inthe world she wanted to that Angus thought suitable.
"So that was settled reasonably, and Angus went on showing what to dowith your mine instead of selling it to a shark, and the baby fatted up,being stall-fed, and Ellabelle got out into the world again, with moremoney than ever to spend, but fewer things to buy, because in Wallaceshe couldn't think of any more. Trust her, though! First theInternational Hotel wasn't good enough. Angus said they'd have amansion, the biggest in Wallace, only without slippery hardwood floors,because he felt brittle after his accident. Ellabelle says Wallaceitself ain't big enough for the mansion that ought to be a home to hisonly son. She was learning how to get to Angus without seeming to. Hethought there might be something in that, still he didn't like to trustthe child away from him, and he had to stick there for a while.
"So Ellabelle's health broke down. Yes, sir, she got to be a totalwreck. Of course the fool doctor in Wallace couldn't find it out. Shetried him and he told her she was strong as a horse and ought to bedoing a tub of washing that very minute. Which was no way to talk to thewife of a rich mining man, so he lost quite a piece of money by it.Ellabelle then went to Spokane and consulted a specialist. That's thedifference. You only see a doctor, but a specialist you consult. Thisone confirmed her fears about herself in a very gentlemanly way andreaped his reward on the spot. Ellabelle's came after she had convincedAngus that even if she did have such a good appetite it wasn't a normalone, but it was, in fact, one of her worst symptoms and threatened herwith a complete nervous breakdown. After about a year of this, whenAngus had horned his way into a few more mines--he said he might as wellhave a bunch of them since he couldn't be there on the spot anyway--theywent to New York City. Angus had never been there except to pass from aClyde liner to Jersey City, and they do say that when he heard therates, exclusive of board, at the one Ellabelle had picked out fromreading the papers, he timidly asked her if they hadn't ought to go tothe other hotel. She told him there wasn't any other--not for them. Shetold him further it was part of her mission to broaden his horizon, andshe firmly meant to do it if God would only vouchsafe her a remnant ofher once magnificent vitality.
"She didn't have to work so hard either. Angus begun to get a broaderhorizon in just a few days, corrupting every waiter he came in contactwith, and there was a report round the hotel the summer I was there thata hat-boy had actually tried to reason with him, thinking he was aforeigner making mistakes with his money by giving up a dollar billevery time for having his hat snatched from him. As a matter of fact,Angus can't believe to this day that dollar bills are money. He feelsapologetic when he gives 'em away. All the same I never believed thatreport about the hat-boy till someone explained to me that he wasn'tallowed to keep his loot, not only having clothes made special withoutpockets but being searched to the hide every night like them poorunfortunate Zulus that toil in the diamond mines of Africa. Of course Icould see then that this boy had become merely enraged like a wild-catat having a dollar crowded onto him for some one else every time a headwaiter grovelled Angus out of the restaurant.
"The novelty of that life wore off after about a year, even with sidetrips to resorts where the prices were sufficiently outrageous to charmEllabelle. She'd begun right off to broaden her own horizon. After onlyone week in New York she put her diamond napkin pincher to doing otherwork, and after six months she dressed about as well as them prominentsociety ladies that drift round the corridors of this hotel waiting forparties that never seem on time, and looking none too austere while theywait.
"So Ellabelle, having in the meantime taken up art and literature andgone to lectures where the professor would show sights and scenes inforeign lands with his magic lantern, begun to feel the call of the OldWorld. She'd got far beyond 'Lucile'--though 'Peck's Bad Boy' was stillthe favourite o
f Angus when he got time for any serious reading--- andwas coming to loathe the crudities of our so-called Americancivilization. So she said. She begun to let out to Angus that theywasn't doing right by the little one, bringing him up in a hole like NewYork City where he'd catch the American accent--though God knows whereshe ever noticed that danger there!--and it was only fair to the childto get him to England or Paris or some such place where he could havedecent advantages. I gather that Angus let out a holler at first so thatEllabelle had to consult another specialist and have little Angusconsult one, too. They both said: 'Certainly, don't delay another day ifyou value the child's life or your own,' and of course Angus had to givein. I reckon that was the last real fight he ever put up till the timeI'm going to tell you about.
"They went to England and bought a castle that had never known theprofane touch of a plumber, having been built in the time of the firstearl or something, and after that they had to get another castle inFrance, account of little Angus having a weak throat that Ellabelle gotanother gentlemanly specialist to find out about him; and so it went,with Ellabelle hovering on the very edge of a nervous breakdown, andtaking up art and literature at different spots where fashion gathered,going to Italy and India's coral strand to study the dead past, and soforth, and learning to address her inferiors in a refined and hostilemanner, with little Angus having a maid and a governess and somethingnew the matter with him every time Ellabelle felt the need of a change.
"At first Angus used to make two trips back every year, then he cut themdown to one, and at last he'd only come every two or three years, havinghis hirelings come to him instead. He'd branched out a lot, even at thatdistance, getting into copper and such, and being president of banks andtrusts here and there and equitable cooperative companies and all suchthings that help to keep the lower classes trimmed proper. For a wholelot of years I didn't see either of 'em. I sort of lost track of theoutfit, except as I'd see the name of Angus heading a new board ofdirectors after the reorganization, or renting the north half ofScotland for the sage-hen and coyote shooting, or whatever the game isthere. Of course it took genius to do this with Angus, and I've neverdenied that Ellabelle has it. I bet there wasn't a day in all them yearsthat Angus didn't believe himself to be a stubborn, domineering brute,riding roughshod over the poor little wreck of a woman. If he didn't itwasn't for want of his wife accusing him of it in so many words--andperhaps a few more.
"I guess she got to feeling so sure of herself she let her work coarsenup. Anyway, when little Angus come to be eighteen his pa shocked her oneday by saying he must go back home to some good college. 'You meanEngland,' says Ellabelle, they being at the time on some other foreigndomains.
"'I do not,' says Angus, 'nor Sweden nor Japan nor East Africa. I meanthe United States.' 'You're jesting,' says she. 'You wrong me cruelly,'says Angus. 'The lad's eighteen and threatening to be a foreigner.Should he stay here longer it would set in his blood.' 'Remember hisweak throat,' says Ellabelle. 'I did,' says Angus. 'To save you troubleI sent for a specialist to look him over. He says the lad has never aflaw in his throat. We'll go soon.'
"Of course it was dirty work on the part of Angus, getting to thespecialist first, but she saw she had to take it. She knew it was likethe time they agreed on his name--she could see the Scotch blood leapingin his veins. So she gave in with never a mutter that Angus could hear.That's part of the genius of Ellabelle, knowing when she can and whenshe positively cannot, and making no foolish struggle in the latterevent.
"Back they come to New York and young Angus went to the swellest collegeEllabelle could learn about, and they had a town house and a countryhouse and Ellabelle prepared to dazzle New York society, having metfrayed ends of it in her years abroad. But she couldn't seem to put itover. Lots of male and female society foreigners that she'd met wouldcome and put up with her and linger on in the most friendly manner, butEllabelle never fools herself so very much. She knew she wasn't makingthe least dent in New York itself. She got uncomfortable there. I betshe had that feeling you get when you're riding your horse over softground and all at once he begins to bog down.
"Anyway, they come West after a year or so, where Angus had more dragand Ellabelle could feel more important. Not back to Wallace, of course.Ellabelle had forgotten the name of that town, and also they come over aroad that misses the thriving little town of North Platte by severalhundred miles. And pretty soon they got into this darned swell littlesuburb out from San Francisco, through knowing one of the old familiesthat had lived there man and boy for upward of four years. It's a townwhere I believe they won't let you get off the train unless you got avisitor's card and a valet.
"Here at last Ellabelle felt she might come into her own, for partiesseemed to recognize her true worth at once. Some of them indeed shecould buffalo right on the spot, for she hadn't lived in Europe and suchplaces all them years for nothing. So, camping in a miserable rentedshack that never cost a penny over seventy thousand dollars, with onlythirty-eight rooms and no proper space for the servants, they set towork building their present marble palace--there's inside and outsidepictures of it in a magazine somewhere round here--bigger than the stateinsane asylum and very tasty and expensive, with hand-painted ceilingsand pergolas and cafes and hot and cold water and everything.
"It was then I first see Ellabelle after all the years, and I want totell you she was impressive. She looked like the descendant of a longline of ancestry or something and she spoke as good as any reciter youever heard in a hall. Last time I had seen her she was still forgettingabout the r's--she'd say: 'Oh, there-urr you ah!' thus showing she wasat least half Iowa in breed--but nothing like that now. She could givethe English cards and spades and beat them at their own game. Her facelooked a little bit overmassaged and she was having trouble keeping herhips down, and wore a patent chin-squeezer nights, and her hair couldn'tbe trusted to itself long at a time; but she knew how to dress and she'dlearned decency in the use of the diamond except when it was reallyproper to break out all over with 'em. You'd look at her twice in anyshow ring. Ain't women the wonders! Gazing at Ellabelle when she hadeverything on, you'd never dream that she'd come up from the vilestdregs only a few years before--helping cook for the harvest hands inIowa, feeding Union Pacific passengers at twenty-two a month, orsplitting her own kindling at Wallace, Idaho, and dreaming about a newsilk dress for next year, or mebbe the year after if things went well.
"Men ain't that way. Angus had took no care of his figure, which was nowpouchy, his hair was gray, and he was either shedding or had beenreached, and he had lines of care and food in his face, and took nopains whatever with his accent--or with what he said, for that matter. Inever saw a man yet that could hide a disgraceful past like a woman can.They don't seem to have any pride. Most of 'em act like they don't carea hoot whether people find it out on 'em or not.
"Angus was always reckless that way, adding to his wife's burden ofanxiety. She'd got her own vile past well buried, but she never knewwhen his was going to stick its ugly head up out of its grave. He'd goalong all right for a while like one of the best set had ought to--thenZooey! We was out to dinner at another millionaire's one night--in thattown you're either a millionaire or drawing wages from one--and Angustalked along with his host for half an hour about the impossibility ofgetting a decent valet on this side of the water, Americans not knowingtheir place like the English do, till you'd have thought he was born toit, and then all at once he breaks out about the hardwood finish to thedining-room, and how the art of graining has perished and ought to berevived. 'And I wish I had a silver dollar,' he says, 'for every doorlike that one there that I've grained to resemble the natural wood socunningly you'd never guess it--hardly.'
"At that his break didn't faze any one but Ellabelle. The host was anold train-robber who'd cut your throat for two bits--I'll bet hecouldn't play an honest game of solitaire--and he let out himself rightoff that he had once worked in a livery stable and was proud of it; butpoor Ellabelle, who'd been talking about the dear Countess o
f Comtessaor somebody, and the dukes and earls that was just one-two-three withher on the other side, she blushed up till it almost showed through thesecond coating. Angus was certainly poison ivy to her on occasion, andhe'd refuse to listen to reason when she called him down about it. He'ddo most of the things she asked him to about food and clothes and soforth--like the time he had the two gold teeth took out and replaced byreal porcelain nature fakers--but he never could understand why hewasn't free to chat about the days when he earned what money he had.
"It was this time that I first saw little Angus since he had changedfrom a governess to a governor--or whatever they call the he-teacher ofa millionaire's brat. He was home for the summer vacation. Naturally I'dbeen prejudiced against him not only by his mother's praise but by hisfather's steady coppering of the same. Judiciously comparing the two, Iwas led to expect a kind of cross between Little Lord Fauntleroy and thelate Sitting Bull, with the vices of each and the virtues of neither.Instead of which I found him a winsome whelp of six-foot or so withScotch eyes and his mother's nose and chin and a good, big, straightmouth, and full of the most engaging bedevilments for one and all. Hedidn't seem to be any brighter in his studies than a brute of that ageshould be, and though there was something easy and grand in his mannerthat his pa and ma never had, he wasn't really any more foreign thanwhat I be. Of course he spoke Eastern American instead of Western, butyou forgive him that after a few minutes when you see how nice henaturally meant to be. I admit we took to each other from the start.They often say I'm a good mixer, but it took no talent to get next tothat boy. I woke up the first night thinking I knew what old silly woulddo her darndest to adopt him if ever his poor pa and ma was to getbuttered over the right of way in some railroad accident.
"And yet I didn't see Angus, Junior, one bit the way either of hisparents saw him. Ellabelle seemed to look on him merely as a smartdresser and social know-it-all that would be a 98 cent credit to her inthe position of society queen for which the good God had always intendedher. And his father said he wasn't any good except to idle away his timeand spend money, and would come to a bad end by manslaughter in ahigh-powered car; or in the alcoholic ward of some hospital; that hewas, in fact, a mere helling scapegrace that would have been put in somegood detention home years before if he hadn't been born to a father thatwas all kinds of a so-and-so old Scotch fool. There you get Angus,_fills_, from three different slants, and I ain't saying there wasn'tjustification for the other two besides mine. The boy could act in acrowd of tea-drinking women with a finish that made his father look likesome one edging in to ask where they wanted the load of coal dumped. Butalso Angus, _peer_, was merely painting the lily, as they say, when he'dtell all the different kinds of Indian the boy was. That very summerbefore he went back to the educational centre where they teach sucharts, he helped wreck a road house a few miles up the line till itlooked like one of them pictures of what a Zeppelin does to a rare oldEnglish drug store in London. And a week later he lost a race with theLos Angeles flyer, account of not having as good a roadbed to run on asthe train had, and having to take too short a turn with his new car.
"I remember we three was wondering where he could be that night thetelephone rung from the place where kindly strangers had hauled him forfirst aid to the foolish. But it was the boy himself that was able totalk and tell his anxious parents to forget all about it. His fathertook the message and as soon as he got the sense of it he begun to gethopeful that the kid had broke at least one leg--thinking, he must havebeen, of the matched pacing stallions that once did himself such a goodturn without meaning to. His disappointment was pitiful as he turned tous after learning that he had lit on his head but only sustained a fewbruises and sprains and concussions, with the wall-paper scraped offhere and there.
"'Struck on his head, the only part of him that seems invulnerable,'says the fond father. 'What's that?' he yells, for the boy was talkingagain. He listened a minute, and it was right entertaining to watch hisface work as the words come along. It registered all the evil thatScotland has suffered from her oppressors since they first thought upthe name for it. Finally he begun to splutter back--it must have soundedfine at the other end--but he had to hang up, he was that emotional.After he got his face human again he says to us:
"'Would either of you think now that you could guess at what might havebeen his dying speech? Would you guess it might be words of cheer to thebereaved mother that nursed him, or even a word of comfort to the idiotfather that never touched whipleather to his back while he was stillhusky enough to get by with it? Well, you'd guess wild. He's butinflamed with indignation over the state of the road where he passed outfor some minutes. He says it's a disgrace to any civilized community,and he means to make trouble about it with the county supervisor, whomust be a murderer at heart, and then he'll take it up to the supremecourt and see if we can't have roads in this country as good asNapoleon the First made them build in France, so a gentleman can speedup a bit over five miles an hour without breaking every bone in hisbody, to say nothing of totally ruining a car costing forty-eighthundred dollars of his good money, with the ink on the check for itscarce dry. He was going on to say that he had the race for the crossingas good as won and had just waved mockingly at the engineer of thedefeated train who was pretending to feel indifferent about it--but Ihung up on him. My strength was waning. Was he here this minute I makeno doubt I'd go to the mat with him, unequal as we are in prowess.' Hedribbled off into vicious mutterings of what he'd say to the boy if hewas to come to the door.
"Then dear Ellabelle pipes up: 'And doesn't the dear boy say who waswith him in this prank?'
"Angus snorted horribly at the word 'prank,' just like he'd never hadone single advantage of foreign travel. 'He does indeed--one of thoseHammersmith twin louts was with him--the speckled devil with the lisp, Igather--and praise God his bones, at least, are broke in two places!'
"Ellabelle's eyes shined up at this with real delight. 'How terrible!'she says, not looking it. 'That's Gerald Hammersmith, son of Mrs. St.John Hammersmith, leader of the most exclusive set here--oh, she's quitein the lead of everything that has class! And after this we must knoweach other far, far better than we have in the past. She has nevercalled up to this time. I must inquire after her poor boy directlyto-morrow comes.' That is Ellabelle. Trust her not to overlook a singlebet.
"Angus again snorted in a common way. 'St. John Hammersmith!' says he,steaming up, 'When he trammed ore for three-fifty a day and went to bedwith his clothes on any night he'd the price of a quart of gin-and-beermixed--liking to get his quick--his name was naked 'John' with never aSaint to it, which his widow tacked on a dozen years later. And speakingof names, Mrs. McDonald, I sorely regret you didn't name your own sonafter your first willful fancy. It was no good day for his father whenyou put my own name to him.'
"But Ellabelle paid no attention whatever to this rough stuff, beingalready engaged in courting the Hammersmith dame for the good of hersocial importance. I make no doubt before the maid finished rubbing inthe complexion cream that night she had reduced this upstart to theranks and stepped into her place as leader of the most exclusive socialset between South San Francisco and old Henry Miller's ranch house atGilroy. Anyway, she kept talking to herself about it, almost over themangled remains of her own son, as you might say.
"A year later the new mansion was done, setting in the centre of sixtyacres of well-manicured land as flat as a floor and naturally calledHillcrest. Angus asked me down for another visit. There had been granddoings to open the new house, and Ellabelle felt she was on the way toruling things social with an iron hand if she was just careful anddidn't overbet her cards. Angus, not being ashamed of his scandalouspast, was really all that kept her nerves strung up. It seems he'd giveher trouble while the painters and decorators was at work, hanging round'em fascinated and telling 'em how he'd had to work ten hours a day inhis time and how he could grain a door till it looked exactly like thenatural wood, so they'd say it wasn't painted at all. And one day hebecome
so inflamed with evil desire that Ellabelle, escorting a bunch ofthe real triple-platers through the mansion, found him with his coat offlearning how to rub down a hardwood panel with oil and pumice stone.Gee! Wouldn't I like to of been there! I suppose I got a lower nature aswell as the rest of us.
"After I'd been there a few days, along comes Angus, _fills_, out intothe world from college to make a name for himself. By ingenuity ornative brute force he had contrived to graduate. He was nice as ever andtold me he was going to look about a bit until he could decide what hisfield of endeavour should be. Apparently it was breaking his neck inoutdoor sports, including loop-the-loop in his new car on roads notmeant for it, and delighting Ellabelle because he was a fine social dragin her favour, and enraging his father by the same reasons. Ellabellewas especially thrilled by his making up to a girl that was daughter tothis here old train-robber I mentioned. It was looking like he mightform an alliance, as they say, with this old family which had livedquite a decent life since they actually got it. The girl looked to menice enough even for Angus, Junior, but his pa denounced her as ayellow-haired pest with none but frivolous aims in life, who wouldn'tknow whether a kitchen was a room in a house or a little woolly animalfrom Paraguay. We had some nice, friendly breakfasts, I believe not,whilst they discussed this poisonous topic, old Angus being only furtherembittered when it comes out that the train-robber is also dead setagainst this here alliance because his only daughter needs a decent,reputable man who would come home nights from some low mahogany den in abank building, and not a worthless young hound that couldn't make adollar of his own and had displayed no talent except for winning thenotice of head waiters and policemen. Old Angus says he knows wellenough his son can be arrested out of most crowds just on thatdescription alone, but who is this So-and-So old thug to be saying it inpublic?
"And so it went, with Ellabelle living in high hopes and young Angusbusy inventing new ways to bump himself off, and old Angus getting moreand more seething--quiet enough outside, but so desperate inside that itwasn't any time at all till I saw he was just waiting for a good chanceto make some horrible Scotch exhibition of himself.
"Then comes the fatal polo doings, with young Angus playing on the sidethat won, and Ellabelle being set up higher than ever till she actuallybegins to snub people here and there at the game that look like they'dswallow it, and old Angus ashamed and proud and glaring round as if he'dlike to hear some one besides himself call his son a worthless younghound--if they wanted to start something.
"And the polo victory of course had to be celebrated by a banquet at thehotel, attended by all the players and their huskiest ruffian friends.They didn't have the ponies there, but I guess they would of if they'dthought of it. It must have been a good banquet, with vintages and songand that sort of thing--I believe they even tried to have food atfirst--and hearty indoor sports with the china and silver and chairsthat had been thoughtlessly provided and a couple of big mirrors thatlooked as if you could throw a catsup bottle clear through them, onlyyou couldn't, because it would stop there after merely breaking theglass, and spatter in a helpless way.
"And of course there was speeches. The best one, as far as I couldlearn, was made by the owner of the outraged premises at a latehour--when the party was breaking up--as you might put it. He said thebill would be about eighteen hundred dollars, as near as he could tellat first glance. He was greeted with hearty laughter and applause fromthe high-spirited young incendiaries and retired hastily through anunsuspected door to the pantry as they rushed for him. It was then theyfound out what to do with the rest of the catsup--and did it--so thewalls and ceiling wouldn't look so monotonous, and fixed the windows sothey would let out the foul tobacco smoke, and completed a largepainting of the Yosemite that hung on the wall, doing several things toit that hadn't occurred to the artist in his hurry, and performed aserious operation on the piano without the use of gas. The tables, Ibelieve, was left flat on their backs.
"Angus, _fills_, was fetched home in a car by a gang of his roguishyoung playmates. They stopped down on the stately drive under my windowand a quartet sung a pathetic song that run:
"Don't forget your parents, Think all they done for you!
"Then young Angus ascended the marble steps to the top one, bared hisagreeable head to the moonlight, and made them a nice speech. He saidthe campaign now in progress, fellow-citizens, marked the gravest crisisin the affairs of our grand old state that an intelligent constituencyhad ever been called upon to vote down, but that he felt they were onthe eve of a sweeping victory that would sweep the corrupt hell-houndsof a venal opposition into an ignominy from which they would never beswept by any base act of his while they honoured him with theirsuffrages, because his life was an open book and he challenged anyson-of-a-gun within sound of his voice to challenge this to his face ortake the consequences of being swept into oblivion by the high tide ofa people's indignation that would sweep everything before it on thethird day of November next, having been aroused in its might at lastfrom the debasing sloth into which the corrupt hell-hounds of a venalopposition had swept them, but a brighter day had dawned, which wouldsweep the onrushing hordes of petty chicanery to where they would gettheirs; and, as one who had heard the call of an oppressed people, hewould accept this fitting testimonial, not for its intrinsic worth butfor the spirit in which it was tendered. As for the nefarious tariff onwatch springs, sawed lumber, and indigo, he would defer his masterlydiscussion of these burning issues to a more fitting time because a manhad to get a little sleep now and then or he wasn't any good next day.In the meantime he thanked them one and all, and so, gentlemen,good-night.
"The audience cheered hoarsely and drove off. I guess the speech wouldhave been longer if a light hadn't showed in the east wing of the castlewhere Angus, _peer_, slept. And then all was peace and quiet till thestorm broke on a rocky coast next day. It didn't really break untilevening, but suspicious clouds no bigger than a man's hand might havebeen observed earlier. If young Angus took any breakfast that morning itwas done in the privacy of his apartment under the pitying glances of avalet or something. But here he was at lunch, blithe as ever, and fullof merry details about the late disaster. He spoke with much humourabout a wider use for tomato catsup than was ever encouraged by the oldschool of house decorators. Old Angus listened respectfully, taking onlya few bites of food but chewing them long and thoughtfully. Ellabellewas chiefly interested in the names of the hearty young vandals. She wasdelighted to learn that they was all of the right set, and her eyesglowed with pride. The eyes of Angus, _peer_, was now glowing with whatI could see was something else, though I couldn't make out just what itwas. He never once exploded like you'd of thought he was due to.
"Then come a note for the boy which the perfect-mannered Englishman thatwas tending us said was brought by a messenger. Young Angus glanced atthe page and broke out indignantly. 'The thieving old pirate!' he says.'Last night he thought it would be about eighteen hundred dollars, andthat sounded hysterical enough for the few little things we'd scratchedor mussed up. I told him he would doubtless feel better this morning,but in any event to send the bill to me and I would pay it.'
"'Quite right of you,' says Ellabelle proudly.
"'And now the scoundrel sends me one for twenty-three hundred and odd.He's a robber, net!'
"Old Angus said never a word, but chewed slowly, whilst various puzzlingexpressions chased themselves acrost his eloquent face. I couldn't makea thing out of any of them.
"'Never patronize the fellow again,' says Ellabelle warmly.
"'As to that,' says her son, 'he hinted something last night abouthaving me arrested if I ever tried to patronize him again, but thatisn't the point. He's robbing me now.'
"'Oh, money!' says Ellabelle in a low tone of disgust and with a gesturelike she was rebuking her son for mentioning such a thing before theservant.
"'But I don't like to be taken advantage of,' says he, looking veryannoyed and grand. Then old Angus swallowed something he'd been chewingfo
r eight minutes and spoke up with an entirely new expression thatpuzzled me more than ever.
"'If you're sure you have the right of it, don't you submit to theoutrage.'
"Angus, Junior, backed up a little bit at this, not knowing quite how totake the old man's mildness. 'Oh, of course the fellow might win out ifhe took it into court,' he says. 'Every one knows the courts are just amass of corruption.'
"'True, I've heard gossip to that effect,' says his father. 'Yet theremust be some way to thwart the crook. I'm feeling strangely ingenious atthe moment.' He was very mild, and yet there was something sinister andScotch about him that the boy felt.
"'Of course I'd pay it out of my own money,' he remarks generously.
"'Even so, I hate to see you cheated,' says his father kindly. 'I hateto have you pay unjust extortions out of the mere pittance yourtight-fisted old father allows you.'
"Young Angus said nothing to this, but blushed and cougheduncomfortably.
"'If you hurt that hotel anything like twenty-three hundred dollars'worth, it must be an interesting sight,' his father goes on brightly.
"'Oh, it was funny at the time,' says Angus boy, cheering up again.
"'Things often are,' says old Angus. 'I'll have a look.'
"'At the bill?'
"'No, at the wreck,' says he. The old boy was still quiet on theoutside, but was plainly under great excitement, for he now folded hisnapkin with care, a crime of which I knew Ellabelle had broken him thefirst week in New York, years before. I noticed their butler had thefine feeling to look steadily away at the wall during this obscenity.The offender then made a pleasant remark about the beauty of the day andleft the palatial apartment swiftly. Young Angus and his mother lookedat each other and strolled after him softly over rugs costing abouteighty thousand dollars. The husband and father was being driven off bya man he could trust in a car they had let him have for his own use.Later Ellabelle confides to me that she mistrusts old Angus iscontemplating some bit of his national deviltry. 'He had a strange lookon his face,' says she, 'and you know--once a Scotchman, always aScotchman! Oh, it would be pitiful if he did anything peculiarly Scotchjust at our most critical period here!' Then she felt of her face tosee if there was any nervous lines come into it, and there was, and shebeat it for the maid to have 'em rubbed out ere they set.
"Yet at dinner that night everything seemed fine, with old Angus asjovial as I'd ever seen him, and the meal come to a cheerful end and wewas having coffee in the Looey de Medisee saloon, I think it is, beforea word was said about this here injured hotel.
"'You were far too modest this morning, you sly dog!' says Angus,_peer_, at last, chuckling delightedly. 'You misled me grievously. Thatjob of wrecking shows genius of a quality that was all too rare in mytime. I suspect it's the college that does it. I shouldn't wonder now ifgoing through college is as good as a liberal education. I don't believemere uneducated house-wreckers could have done so pretty a job in twicethe time, and there's clever little touches they never would havethought of at all.'
"'It did look thorough when we left,' says young Angus, not quiteknowing whether to laugh.
"'It's nothing short of sublime,' says his father proudly. 'I stood inthat deserted banquet hall, though it looks never a bit like one, withruin and desolation on every hand as far as the eye could reach. Itinspired such awe in the bereaved owner and me that we instinctivelyspoke in hushed whispers. I've had no such gripping sensation as thatsince I gazed upon the dead city of Pompeii. No longer can it be saidthat Europe possesses all the impressive ruins.'
"Angus boy grinned cheerfully now, feeling that this tribute washeartfelt.
"'I suspect now,' goes on the old boy, 'that when the wreckage iscleared away we shall find the mangled bodies of several that perishedwhen the bolts descended from a clear sky upon the gay scene.'
"'Perhaps under the tables,' says young Angus, chirking up still more atthis geniality. 'Two or three went down early and may still be there.'
"'Yet twenty-three hundred for it is a monstrous outrage,' says the oldman, changing his voice just a mite. 'Too well I know the cost of suchrepairs. Fifteen hundred at most would make the place better thanever--and to think that you, struggling along to keep up appearances onthe little I give you, should be imposed upon by a crook thatundoubtedly has the law on his side! I could endure no thought of it, soI foiled him.'
"'How?' says young Angus, kind of alarmed.
"Angus, _peer_, yawned and got up. 'It's a long story and would hardlyinterest you,' says he, moving over to the door. 'Besides, I must be tobed against the morrow, which will be a long, hard day for me.' Hisvoice had tightened up.
"'What have you done?' demands Ellabelle passionately.
"'Saved your son eight hundred dollars,' says Angus, 'or the equivalentof his own earnings for something like eight hundred years at currentprices for labour.'
"'I've a right to know,' says Ellabelle through her teeth and stiffeningin her chair. Young Angus just set there with his mouth open.
"'So you have,' says old Angus, and he goes on as crisp as a bunch ofcelery: 'I told you I felt ingenious. I've kept this money in the familyby the simple device of taking the job. I've engaged two other paintersand decorators besides myself, a carpenter, an electrician, a glazier,and a few proletariats of minor talent for clearing away the wreckage. Ishall be on the job at eight. The loafers won't start at seven, as Iused to. Don't think I'd see any son of mine robbed before my very eyes.My new overalls are laid out and my valet has instructions to get meinto them at seven, though he persists in believing I'm to attend afancy-dress ball at some strangely fashionable hour. So I bid you allgood evening.'
"Well, I guess that was the first time Ellabelle had really let go ofherself since she was four years old or thereabouts. Talk about theempress of stormy emotion! For ten minutes the room sounded like atorture chamber of the dark Middle Ages. But the doctor reached there atlast in a swift car, and him and the two maids managed to get her laidout all comfortable and moaning, though still with outbreaks about everytwenty minutes that I could hear clear over on my side of the house.
"And down below my window on the marble porch Angus, _fills_, waswalking swiftly up and down for about one hour. He made no speech likethe night before. He just walked and walked. The part that struck me wasthat neither of them had ever seemed to have the slightest notion ofpleading old Angus out of his mad folly. They both seemed to know theScotch when it did break out.
"At seven-thirty the next morning the old boy in overalls and jumper anda cap was driven to his job in a car as big as an apartment house. Thecurtains to Ellabelle's Looey Seez boudoir remained drawn, with hourlybulletins from the two Swiss maids that she was passing away in greatagony. Angus, Junior, was off early, too, in his snakiest car. A fewminutes later they got a telephone from him sixty miles away that hewould not be home to lunch. Old Angus had taken his own lunch with himin a tin pail he'd bought the day before, with a little cupola on topfor the cup to put the bottle of cold coffee in.
"It was a joyous home that day, if you don't care how you talk. All itneeded was a crepe necktie on the knob of the front door. That orneryold hound, Angus, got in from his work at six, spotty with paint andsmelling of oil and turpentine, but cheerful as a new father. He washedup, ridding himself of at least a third of the paint smell, looked in atEllabelle's door to say, 'What! Not feeling well, mamma? Now, that's toobad!' ate a hearty dinner with me, young Angus not having been heardfrom further, and fell asleep in a gold armchair at ten minutes pastnine.
"He was off again next morning. Ellabelle's health was still breakingdown, but young Angus sneaked in and partook of a meagre lunch with me.He was highly vexed with his pa. 'He's nothing but a scoundrelly oldliar,' he says to me, 'saying that he gives me but a pittance. He'salways given me a whale of an allowance. Why, actually, I've more thanonce had money left over at the end of the quarter. And now his talkabout saving money! I tell you he has some other reason than money forbreaking the mater's heart.' T
he boy looked very shrewd as he said this.
"That night at quitting time he was strangely down at the place with hisown car to fetch his father home. 'I'll trust you this once,' says theold man, getting in and looking more then ever like a dissolute workingman. On the way they passed this here yellow-haired daughter of the oldtrain-robber that there had been talk of the boy making a match with.She was driving her own car and looked neither to right nor left.
"'Not speaking?' says old Angus.
"'She didn't see us,' says the boy.
"'She's ashamed of your father,' says the old man.
"'She's not,' says the boy.
"'You know it,' says the old scoundrel.
"'I'll show her,' says his son.
"Well, we had another cheerful evening, with Ellabelle sending word toold Angus that she wanted me to have the necklace of brilliants with thesapphire pendant, and the two faithful maids was to get suitablekeepsakes out of the rest of her jewels, and would her son always wearthe seal ring with her hair in it that she had given him when he wastwenty? And the old devil started in to tell how much he could havesaved by taking charge of the work in his own house, and how a union mannowadays would do just enough to keep within the law, and so on; but hegot to yawning his head off and retired at nine, complaining that hisvalet that morning had cleaned and pressed his overalls. Young Anguslooked very shrewd at me and again says: 'The old liar! He has someother reason than money. He can't fool me.'
"I kind of gathered from both of them the truth of what happened thenext day. Young Angus himself showed up at the job about nine A.M., witha bundle under his arm. 'Where's the old man?' his father heard himdemand of the carpenter, he usually speaking of old Angus as thegovernor.
"'Here,' says he from the top of a stepladder in the entry which lookedas if a glacier had passed through it.
"'Could you put me to work?' says the boy.
"'Don't get me to shaking with laughter up here,' says the old brute.'Can't you see I'd be in peril of falling off?'
"Young Angus undoes his bundle and reveals overalls and a jumper whichhe gets into quickly. 'What do I do first?' says he.
"His father went on kalsomining and took never a look at him more. 'Thetime has largely passed here,' says he, 'for men that haven't learned todo something, but you might take some of the burnt umber there and workit well into a big gob of that putty till it's brown enough to match thewoodwork. Should you display the least talent for that we may see laterif you've any knack with a putty knife.'
"The new hand had brought no lunch with him, but his father spared him afew scraps from his own, and they all swigged beer from a pail of itthey sent out for. So the scandal was now complete in all its details.The palatial dining-room that night, being a copy of a good church orsomething from ancient Italy, smelled like a paint shop indeed--andsounded like one through dinner. 'That woodwork will be fit tosecond-coat first thing in the morning,' says old Angus. 'I'll have itsandpapered in no time,' says the boy. 'Your sandpapering ain't bad,'says the other, 'though you have next to no skill with a brush.' 'Ithought I was pretty good with that flat one though.' 'Oh, fair; justfair! First-coating needs little finesse. There! I forgot to order morerubbing varnish. Maybe the men will think of it.' And so on till theyboth yawned themselves off to their Scotch Renaysence apartments.Ellabelle had not yet learned the worst. It seemed to be felt that shehad a right to perish without suffering the added ignominy of knowingher son was acting like a common wage slave.
"They was both on the job next day. Of course the disgraceful affair hadby now penetrated to the remotest outlying marble shack. Several malemillionaires this day appeared on the scene to josh Angus, _peer_, andAngus, _fills_, as they toiled at their degrading tasks. Not muchattention was paid to 'em, it appears, not even to the old train-robberwho come to jest and remained to cross-examine Angus about how much hewas really going to clear on the job, seriously now. Anything like thatwas bound to fascinate the old crook.
"And next day, close to quitting time, what happens but this here robberchieftain's petted daughter coming in and hanging round and begging tobe let to help because it was such jolly fun. I believe she did get holdof a square of sandpaper with which she daintily tried to remove somefresh varnish that should have been let strictly alone; and when theyboth ordered her out in a frenzy of rage, what does she do but wait for'em with her car which she made them enter and drove them to their abodelike they belonged to the better class of people that one would care toknow. The two fools was both kind of excited about this that night.
"The next day she breezes in again and tries to get them to knock off anhour early so she can take them to the country club for tea, but theyrefuse this, so she makes little putty statues of them both and drove afew nails where they would do no good and upset a bucket of paste andleaned a two-hundred-dollar lace thing against a varnished wall to thedetriment of both, and fell off a stepladder. Old Angus caught her andboxed her ears soundly. And again she drove them through the avenues ofa colony of fine old families with money a little bit older, by a fewdays, and up the drive to their own door.
"Ellabelle was peeking between the plush curtains on this occasion, forsome heartless busybody during the day had told her that her son andhusband was both renegades now. And strangely enough, she begun to getback her strength from that very moment--seeing that exclusive andwell-known young debby-tant consorting in public with the reprobates.I'm darned if she didn't have the genius after that to treat the wholething as a practical joke, especially when she finds out that none ofthem exclusives had had it long enough to look down on anothermillionaire merely for pinching a penny now and then. Old Angus as amatter of fact had become just a little more important than she had everbeen and could have snubbed any one he wanted to. The only single one inthe whole place that throwed him down was his own English valet. He wasfound helpless drunk in a greenhouse the third day, having ruined ninethousand dollars' worth of orchids he'd gone to sleep amongst, and heresigned his position with bitter dignity the moment he recoveredconsciousness.
"Moreover, young Angus and this girl clenched without furtheropposition. Her train-robber father said the boy must have something inhim even if he didn't look it, and old Angus said he still believed thegirl to be nothing but a yellow-haired soubrette; but what should weexpect of a woman, after all?
"The night the job was finished we had the jolliest dinner of my visit,with a whole gang of exclusive-setters at the groaning board, includingthis girl and her folks, and champagne, of which Angus, _peer_, consumednear one of the cut-glass vases full.
"I caught him with young Angus in the deserted library later, while therest was one-stepping in the Henry Quatter ballroom or dance hall. Theold man had his arms pretty well upon the boy's shoulders. Yes, sir, hewas almost actually hugging him. The boy fled to this gilded cafe wherethe rest was, and old Angus, with his eyes shining very queer, he grabsme by the arm and says, 'Once when he was very small--though unusuallylarge for his age of three, mind you--he had a way of scratching my facesomething painful with his little nails, and all in laughing play, youknow. I tried to warn him, but he couldn't understand, of course; so,not knowing how else to instruct him, I scratched back one day, laughingmyself like he was, but sinking my nails right fierce into the back ofhis little fat neck. He relaxed the tension in his own fingers. He washurt, for the tears started, but he never cried. He just looked puzzledand kept on laughing, being bright to see I could play the game, too.Only he saw it wasn't so good a game as he'd thought. I wonder whatmade me think of that, now! I don't know. Come--from yonder doorway wecan see him as he dances.'
"And Ellabelle was saying gently to one and all, with her merry peal oflaughter, 'Ah, yes--once a Scotchman, always--'
"My land! It's ten o'clock. Don't them little white-faced beauties makethe music! Honestly I'd like to have a cot out in the corral. We miss alot of it in here."
Somewhere in Red Gap Page 4