Heartbeat Echoes

by Brittany Yeats

  When Melissa needed to breathe without the sadness and the despair, she ran and climbed her tree. The highest branch was twenty feet off the ground and gave Melissa the view of a queen. She could see all of LA and it always took her breath away.

  The sun was beginning to set as she climbed, slowly, branch by branch, breathing deep so the tears, the millionth tears of the week, stayed at bay. She settled herself in the bend of the highest branch, worn almost smooth from twenty-nine-odd years of her body resting on it, and tried to settle herself down. She knew after they were gone, the tree would be a place of pain, a place that would bring her memories and feelings that would cause her emotions to go straight to hurt, but for now it brought her comfort.

  What would life be like once her dad was gone? It was the type of question she only contemplated when she wasn’t in the house. She didn’t want the extreme negativity of her thoughts invading the haven that her mother and she made the house into. A hive of false positivity that her father and sister believed. They were still incredibly coherent, even as they were fading away.

  Her father talked to her of Conner and how he would need help adjusting to being the head of the family after he was gone. Melissa would scold him for talking like that but he looked at her and she knew that he knew he wouldn’t be surviving. So they talked of ways to help Conner take over handling things with the company and handling Mom and even maybe finding a woman to settle with.

  One precious day, Max told Melissa about an arm of the business that Conner would be hopeless at running. The fashion arm. Yards by Yards. Melissa had perked up and they talked for hours about how it was different from the rest of the company. Yards by Yards was run more loosely and it needed a swift hand to overtake it and make it just as successful as the rest of the company.

  “If you brood any harder your face is going to break. Or get stuck that way. Or however that saying goes.”

  Melissa spotted Christian standing at the bottom of her tree. She smirked. “Have fun climbing in that stiff suit.”

  Christian smirked back and began to climb the tree like a monkey. He settled with his back against the trunk and stretched out his legs. He looked out over the view and sighed.

  “You must feel like a queen when you sit up here. Have you taken a breath yet?”

  Melissa laid a hand on his shoulder. She didn’t say anything but decided to take his advice. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath through her nose, held it for a minute to actually settle down her body, and let it out on a sigh so heavy, Christian was surprised she didn’t knock the leaves off the branches.

  “There now. Do you feel better?”

  “No, I don’t feel better. My head hurts, my heart hurts, and of course my back hurts. But I won’t be saying a word because they’re dying.”

  “Is that the first time you’ve said that particular phrase out loud?”

  Melissa nodded without looking at him and finally let the sobs she’d been choking back for days break free. She covered her face with her hands and prayed no one from the house could hear her moment of weakness. Christian watched her for a second and leaned over to scoop Melissa into his lap. She was so light it was like picking up a doll. It was hard to get comfortable on a tree, but he settled as best he could and let Melissa cry until she was asleep. Christian waited until the moon came up and then nudged her awake.

  “Come on, Aurora, time to climb down and go inside.”

  Melissa blinked at him in mock shock. “How on earth did you know that Sleeping Beauty’s name is Princess Aurora?”

  Christian pulled out his most charming smile. “I am a man of very many hidden talents. And I happen to know that you love Disney movies and know most of them word for word. You cried and fell asleep. So Sleeping Beauty.”

  They climbed down the tree and walked into the house. It was very quiet and Melissa was glad that everyone was asleep. At the front door he framed her face with his hands.

  “Sometimes I wonder what this face does to me. Go back to sleep. I’ll see you in a few days. Oh, and sorry about your mother. She almost hit the floor with shock and excitement when I walked in. I decided that it was time to stop playing around. I’m about to hit my mid-thirties. Maybe it is time to listen to everyone and make some plans.” Christian shrugged like it was no big deal.

  Then he kissed her forehead and walked out the door. She locked it and sat on the stairs. Her brain wanted to begin analyzing what had just come out of Christian’s mouth but her body was already shutting down for more sleep. She walked up the stairs and as she closed herself in her room, she made sure to remember to call Liz over for some much-needed best friend advice.

  ~ ~ ~

  The next moment she could manage it, Melissa took a break and had a rendezvous with Liz. It had been about a week since Christian’s stunning words and Melissa was still having a hard time getting her head around them. She had called Liz and demanded some face time with her best friend. Liz was stretched across Melissa’s bed, looking much like a royal Egyptian cat. Melissa was curled on the window bench across from the bed, trying to remember that there was still beauty in the world. Something that was hard to remember when you were surrounded by the dying.

  “He said what now? I can’t believe he’s actually going to take advice that I gave him. I’m so proud he’s finally evolving.”

  “What advice was that exactly?” Melissa raised her eyebrows at her friend’s words.

  Liz began to look all around the room, the ceiling, the window, the closet, anywhere but at Melissa’s inquisitive face. Melissa threw a pillow at her friend to make Liz look at her.

  “I gave him the advice to light his own fire. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Mel. It’s in the same category of how I look at your Porsche. With love and longing and lust. I have a feeling you two may be acting on the lust part, ahem, the park bench of secrets, but the rest needs some attention as well.” Liz looked pointedly at Melissa as Melissa looked anywhere but at her friend, the ceiling, the window, the closet.

  “Okay, okay, okay! So we are in love with each other. It has taken him years to figure it out and he does not seem to know the next steps to take after totally taking my breath away. Obviously I’m not in any shape to lead him around to it. So, he realized my face has made him fall for me and true bliss will come from being together eventually. When or how for that matter, will we live happily ever after? Christian has been my secret dream, the one that you keep in your heart and don’t dare hope will come true since just about the moment I met him. Now, he is saying the words I have been craving to hear and to be completely honest, its unnerving me because I really never thought I was going to hear him say them. But, until he can make a decision and ‘plan’ as he put it, I am going to sit with Ashley. I have a crazy idea for her that might actually bring her a little joy.”

  She and Liz hopped off the bed and moved down the hall.

  Anna was at Ashley’s bedside along with Dr. Chrome. He was taking her temperature and had a look on his face of deeper worry than normal. He looked at Anna and together they left the room. Ashley looked paler than the day before. Her skin was practically translucent. Melissa sat on the bed and took Ashley’s hand. Cool to the touch. Two days before, it had been hot, as if her skin was melting off. The cooling of her skin alarmed Melissa exponentially. She marched from the room and looked at her mother.

  “It’s almost over, isn’t it? Tell me!”

  Anna turned her brimming eyes to her and nodded.

  Melissa felt her legs become jelly. She sensed each and every muscle and tendon liquefy. She slid to the floor and stared blindly. Liz sat by her side and took Melissa into her arms, wishing there was some way to ease the pain her friend felt.

  “Have you checked on Dad?”

  Dr. Chrome looked over at her and shook his head.

  Melissa cleared her throat.
“I want to give Ashley a little joy. I was wondering if I could take her up to my tree. I could take a sheet and tie her to me so she didn’t fall or anything. I want her to see the view from my tree. It’s a queen’s view according to some people.”

  Her mom opened her mouth as if to protest but stopped when she saw Dr. Chrome nodding.

  Together, they went into Ashley’s room and asked the girl her thoughts on the plan.

  Ashley smiled. “Anything to spend time with my sister.”

  Melissa leaned over and picked Ashley up, making sure the little girl was snug to her body. Liz and Anna took a clean sheet and wrapped it around the pair, anchoring Ashley to Melissa. They all walked out to Melissa’s tree and agile as a cheetah, Melissa climbed the tree branches, settling herself on the top branch. The position mirrored how she had been with Christian the other night. It was a little more satisfying though, because Melissa felt Ashely smile as the little girl leaned on her shoulder. As the evening sun dipped lower, Melissa began to stroke Ashley’s hair.

  “You were right, sissy. This is a queen’s view. I wonder if we could make a few queens jealous.”

  Melissa laughed. Even dying, her sister had a sharp wit that no one could dull.

  “I bet we make every queen jealous. Look how the cars are all but stopped on the highway there. An endless sea of red and white.” Melissa felt Ashley sigh. Together, they each pointed out different types of buildings and how the lights were beginning to come on.

  “Melissa! Your mother wants you to bring Miss Ashley in. It’s been over two hours!”

  Melissa looked down and saw Grace standing at the bottom of the tree.

  “If she insists. We’re on our way down. Hold tight, little spider monkey.”

  Ashley giggled and it was a painful sound.

  Melissa climbed down the tree, careful not to jostle Ashley much. When her feet touched the ground, Melissa untied Ashely and scooped her up like a princess.

  “From a queen’s view to the ever-famous princess carry, you are getting the royal treatment.”

  Ashley began to twine one of Melissa’s curls around her finger.

  “I don’t want to go back to that room. I know it’s my room, but it makes me sad because I know it will be empty soon.”

  Melissa shook her head to keep the tears that formed at her sister’s words in her eyes and not dripping on the little girls head. When she walked into the house, she took Ashley into the much-loved home theater. Settling her down into one of the huge couches, Melissa began to run around the house getting Ashley blankets and her IV and their mother.

  “She wants to watch a movie and to not be in her room, can you stay with her awhile?”

  Anna nodded and snuggled down next to Ashley. Ashely picked a Disney movie and as Melissa set it up, she could see Ashley would be asleep before the first musical number ended. Melissa handed her mother the remote and walked from the room, leaving her to handle the talking mice.

  Melissa walked down the hall and listened to the sound of raised voices. One amused, the other sounding overly exasperated. Apparently Liz had found Conner and was poking at him again. Willing to play peace maker, she walked into the library and saw Liz’s bright face snapping with amusement and Conner’s face slightly pink from annoyance.

  “Well, I have already made one sibling happy. Maybe I can come to the rescue of my other sibling. What happiness is going on here?”

  Liz hopped off the corner of desk she had been occupying and walked over to throw an arm over Melissa’s shoulders. “I was just telling your brother how adorable Mr. Cutterson is. He has the most amazing eyes. And that smile. Killer.”

  Melissa rolled her eyes because she knew very well Liz had no interest in Christian but it was fun to see her brother being needled.

  “And I was just telling Liz that I couldn’t care less about how attractive she finds one of my friends. Can you please distract her so I can get some work done? Dad is no longer able to run the company. We had a clause put in place that if he ever became unable to act as president then I would take over. He can’t even hold a pen, Melissa. Please give me some peace!”

  Melissa took Liz’s hand and pulled her from the room without a word.

  “Well, he certainly put on his big boy pants. Have you checked on your dad lately?”

  Melissa shook her head and walked outside to sit on one of the patio chairs. Liz sat next to her and was slightly worried about her friend’s silence.

  “Why haven’t you gone to see him? He might need you like Ashley needed you. Don’t leave anything for regret. I need to head out anyway. Love you.”

  Liz hugged Melissa hard, and when Melissa no longer had any excuses, she went up to her parents’ room to see her father. It was a new sensation Melissa was feeling. The utter reluctance to see her father. It came down to one simple fact. Seeing her father so weak was out of any normal Melissa was used to. Knowing that that weakness was because her father was dying made Melissa depressed beyond belief and that depression made Melissa also feel a deep sense of guilt.

  What right did she have to be depressed? She was healthy and going to live the rest of her life, her father was not. It was a matter of not wanting to show her depression and being unsure if she could keep the feeling out of her voice and off her face.

  He was nestled in the center of the bed. Propped up on a mound of pillows, he looked the same as he had when he had the flu two years before. He was much paler but he still had some heat to his checks so maybe he wasn’t as close to the end as Ashley was. She came in a sat down next to him, instinctively taking his hand. He squeezed. He turned his head and smiled at her.

  “How are you, kiddo? Gotten into any trouble I should know about?”

  Melissa shook her head.

  “I’m sorry to inform you, you are going to be cursed with unreasonably well-behaved children.” He shook his head in mock exasperation and closed his eyes.

  Because she knew it would relax him, Melissa chatted about the last few days. Telling him about Christian’s visit, and how she had taken Ashley outside, up into the tree and how she was with Anna in the movie room watching Disney movies. She told him of Conner being uncharacteristically rude to her and Liz. He opened his eyes at that.

  “Melissa, I don’t need to tell you how stressed out he’s going to be in the next few months. Maybe even as long as a year. Cut him a little slack. Maybe I can convince your mother to loosen the reins so you can help at the company and not go to another tea or brainless dinner party looking for a husband.” He coughed a little and settled back.

  “I didn’t mean to agitate you. We’re all stressed, Father. I just haven’t been snapping at everyone who happens to darken my door.”

  He patted her hand and smiled a little. A smile that translated into a sarcastic comment or two.

  Melissa rolled her eyes and looked out the window. When Melissa turned back, her father was lightly snoring. Taking that as a positive sign he would live through the night, Melissa returned to her own room. She knew getting some sleep was imperative, but insomnia was plaguing Melissa. She grabbed her laptop and started her research on Yards by Yards.

  Chapter 3

  Days passed. Spring began to unfold a little more seriously over California as the months moved to summer. It was beautiful outside and dark inside the Yard house. Conner became more agitated about everything in life. Melissa did her best to avoid him as much as she could. Max and Ashley continued to get weaker. They no longer ate, their bodies resisting any type of nutrients. The rest of the household members lost weight as well. Anna couldn’t be pulled away from Max’s side. She saw to all of his care personally and when she was nearly sick with exhaustion and hunger, Melissa came and forcefully dragged her away.

  “Melissa Yard. What on earth do you think you are doing? Unhand me. He needs a new shi
rt.”

  Paying no mind to her mother, Melissa continued to pull her mother toward her own rooms. Anna stopped protesting. Melissa walked into her own bathroom and after turning on the water, left Anna to herself.

  Anna stood under the warm, comforting spray and when she heard Melissa close the door, she let the tears come. It had been days since she had let herself really feel anything. She looked down at her naked self and saw bones outlined against her skin. Wondering when her daughter had become so smart, Anna washed everything and stood for a few more moments, enjoying the easy solitude a shower allowed. Anna let herself be selfish for just the time she was in the shower. She let her mind move to the saddest thoughts it had and let them be seriously thought about.

  When she came out, she saw Melissa had laid out her robe and a complete outfit right down to the easy slip-on sneakers that matched the running pants and zip hoodie, all laid out for their easy convenience.

  “Damn that girl.” Anna dressed quickly and went to find her pushy daughter. She found Melissa snuggled in the library window seat, a book on her lap, looking out the window with tears streaming down her face. Anna sat down and laid a hand on her daughter’s ankle. Melissa peeled her gaze from the pond and met her mother’s eyes. She tried but couldn’t muster a smile.

  “I want you to know that doing that was exactly what I needed. I’m in a situation I only have nightmares about. Losing the man I have loved my whole life and facing the world alone. It happening like this is just torture. I appreciate you being pushy.”

  Anna leaned forward and kissed her daughter’s forehead. She squeezed Melissa’s ankle and walked from the room. Melissa watched her mother go and sighed. She wiped the tears from her face and went back to her book. After a couple of pages, the door opened again. She tensed when she saw her brother. Getting up, she closed the book and walked over the put it away.