“Did Edwards let her in? He should have known better, they were trained. I’m sorry such a distressing thing happened, my dear. I want you to put all of this out of your mind.” James went to take Jillian into his arms and felt the first stirrings of anger when she moved out of reach.
“That is not going to work with me, James. The girl who knelt at my feet was devastated. The look in her eyes is going to haunt me for the foreseeable future. Now tell me the truth!” Jillian had never shouted words at another living soul in her life. The raised voice made her feel both shamed and empowered at the same time. James was seeing his wife with completely different eyes. The woman standing in front of him with the fiery eyes and heaving breath was a stranger.
“You do not want to know the truth. And no matter how much you pester me about this, I still will not tell you. It is nothing a lady of your standing should worry about. The only thing you should be worrying about is being grateful for what I have given you in this life. You would have nothing without me. You can go back to having nothing, remember that.”
Without another word, James turned on his heel and strode from the room. Jillian flinched at the sound of the slamming door and the carriage being pulled away quickly.
When she no longer heard the hooves on the ground, Jillian sank to the chair and silently wept out the pain and the miserable understanding of her husband’s unconfirmed confession.
Chapter 9
“The last place I’d ever think to look for you was the public library. Do wealthy girls come here often?”
Melissa was too emotionally sick to even consider answering Joshua’s pithy attempt at flirting. The reprinted articles had been extremely forthcoming on the details of the attacks of the people in her ancestors’ time. Enough to make her stomach roll. She shrugged and went back to reading. Joshua leaned over and read the article over her shoulder. He was surprised about her reading material.
“Fun fact about myself, I’m actually descendant of this tribe. My great-great-great-grandfather kidnapped a white woman from the area and had children with her, starting my family line. It’s mostly diluted, but I still have their blood.”
Melissa shivered again. The tribe that was on her screen, the Chumash, were the ones that had been causing most of the trouble for the area at the time. Melissa turned all the way around in her chair to face Joshua, the queasiness now coming from anxiety than anything else.
“Does your family have any legends about that part of your past? Any stories passed down about that time or people or anything?”
Joshua looked at Melissa and considered. “If I tell you, can it be over dinner?”
Melissa wanted to say no just on principle alone. She had a sinking feeling that if they went out to dinner, she wouldn’t hear some of her theories confirmed. All he’d want to talk about was her decision and if she was going to string him along any more.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why can’t you just sit down right now and tell me what you know? We’re already here.”
Joshua shook his head and stood. “Afraid?”
If it had been any other moment, Melissa would have risen to the bait faster than a roadrunner speeding away from a coyote, but the thought of food made Melissa want to hurl.
“I’m not afraid. I am just completely uninterested in food. What time is it, anyway?” Melissa looked down at her phone and saw it was well past dinner time. She had been in the library for nearly four hours. She shut her machine down and decided it was time to go home and process everything. Joshua stepped back to let her leave, thinking she was coming with him. As she turned to her car, he grabbed her elbow. Melissa stopped and looked at him, seeming to come back to reality from somewhere dark.
“Josh, I said no. I don’t want to eat. I have to pack and deal with some things I’ve just learned about my family and I just don’t have to time to socialize.”
“What do you mean pack?” Joshua’s fingers tightened. “You going on a trip?”
Melissa cursed her loose tongue. This was the last way that she wanted to tell Joshua that she was moving away but now that it was out in the open, she had to make the best of it.
“In my father’s will, he left me part of the family company and some property. I’m moving to Milan to live. He made me CEO of Yards by Yards. The fashion label my father created and then didn’t do much with. Since I studied business and fashion in college and have master’s degrees in both, he decided for me that it was time I put both of those pieces of paper to work. I’m leaving in three weeks.”
Joshua had released her arm and taken a step away. He face was set in hard angry lines. “So were you just going to sneak off in the middle of the night? Not say a word to me until you were already gone? Or would you rather I have found out when I tried to take a contract out with your label? How could you be so inconsiderate?”
Melissa made herself stand a little taller, refusing to feel the way he wanted her to feel. “Think what you will. My family isn’t talking to me, I’m still grieving for my father and sister. My mother has already threatened me with an arranged marriage to any of her friends’ sons who would dare to seem interested. I need to get out of here. I don’t want to get married. Ever.”
The look of shock on Joshua’s face only fueled Melissa’s sudden fury.
“Why is this such a surprise to everyone? The only thing that’s ever been drilled into my head is to find a suitable man and get married. Why is that the only thing I’m good for?”
“It’s not the only thing your good for. One of the things that was left out from your brainwashing was that that a suitable man will support anything you want to do in life.”
Melissa heard Christian’s words coming out of Joshua’s mouth and felt like she was in an alternate universe.
“Are you going to move to Milan and be the stay-at-home husband and handle giving up everything you know here?”
Melissa waited.
“Couldn’t you run the company from here? We could do six months here for my business and six months there for your business. Compromise. It’s a building block for a good marriage. Or so my mother always said.”
Melissa had heard nothing after his first sentence. “You just made my point. I don’t want to compromise. I want it my way. I don’t want to come back here anymore. My mother and brother have basically severed ties with me, astounded that I’m going along with my father’s plan to get me out of the house.
“I told Christian about you and everything that was going on. We told each other we loved each other and he launched right into marriage and kids and all these things I didn’t want to hear and when I said no, he was astounded as well. How could I say no? I’m a woman. All I want is marriage and babies. Like this is the fifties. When I explained my feelings, he severed all ties with me.
“I can see by your expression that you are unhappy with what I just told you about Christian and I don’t really care. I have loved him for longer than I realized. He’s my brother’s friend and has been around my family for years. I thought it was just a crush but it grew into more than that.
“Then you burst into my life like lightning and start all new feelings inside me and I really have no idea how to deal with them. Now everything is changing exactly how I want it to and in the process I’ve hurt two people and have damaged my family relationships.”
Watching his face all through her little speech, Melissa had seen a dozen different expression run over his face. Anger, shock, amusement, jealousy, and shockingly understanding.
“I didn’t realize how rough things were in your life. I haven’t been helping very much by putting extra pressure on you. What kind of feelings?”
Melissa felt the smile tug her mouth and decided to roll with it. “I could not even explain them to you if I wanted to. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I really just want to go home, pack a few boxe
s, and then go to sleep.”
Joshua looked skeptically at Melissa’s waist. He didn’t think it was possible but it looked thinner to him.
“What was the last meal you had?”
Melissa looked up to the cloudless blue sky as if trying to gather strength. “Joshua, I have no idea. I think it was a few days ago. I had omelet and some other breakfast-type foods.”
Melissa shrugged. She just wanted to arrange all the things she still needed to organize and get on with her life. The upheaval of having so many people upset with her was making all her planning that much more difficult.
“The next free moment I have I’ll make sure to eat something. Right now I have a million other things on my mind.” She turned back to her car to signal herself finished talking when Joshua made a silent and very impromptu decision. He swung Melissa around toward his own car, heedless of her protests, and bundled her into the front seat.
“Joshua!”
He slammed the door on her sentence. Climbing into the driver seat, he winked and flashed his killer grin before zooming off.
~ ~ ~
William finished the nightly cool-down process for the last horse in the stable. He had watched with growing unease as the master of the house came home, was home for no longer than thirty minutes, and left abruptly. He wondered what could have made James leave so fast and pondered if it could have been because Jillian told him of their kiss. William was waiting for the posse to show up and chase him from the property.
He walked back toward the stairs leading to his extremely charming apartment over the barn. He enjoyed being able to hear the horses and if he was lucky enough to time it right, he could look out his kitchen window and watch Jillian open her balcony doors to lean against the railing and soak in the last rays of the sun. Everything about Jillian came alive in the sun. Her skin, her hair, her eyes, they all shined. Making sure everything was locked for the night, William left the barn, and as he turned to his front stairs, with the intention to go right to bed, he saw her.
As if his deepest thoughts had sprung to form, Jillian was walking toward him. She was wrapped in thin gauzy white. It floated around her body, down to her ankles, caught close at her wrists, making her appear an apparition. For the first time ever, since coming to work for her husband, William saw Jillian’s hair loose. Creamy blonde curls floated to her waist, swirling in the breeze. With all her beauty, it was her eyes that hooked him. In his entire association with her, he had never seen them with such passionate intensity. She stopped a few feet from him and smiled.
“I raised my voice to my husband tonight. He looked at me like I had another head sprouting from my neck and actually left. Bianca’s eyes are still haunting me. I think the things she accused James of are true. How am I going to live with him if they are? I do not want to be alone tonight. Every servant is asleep and I snuck out a secret way I discovered one day in a rare spurt of quiet time. A passage James had included in the building of this house in case we had to flee from attack or some disaster. May I be with you tonight?”
William had no idea how to make his brain form a sentence. Every instinct was screaming for him to turn her away. He shook his head and turned away. Jillian felt her heart sink at William’s rejection. She was so sure she had understood what she had felt earlier when they had kissed. Jillian started to drop the hand she had lifted to lay on his arm and was startled when it was suddenly gripped tight as a lifeline.
“This is wrong. You are the wife of my employer and one of the wealthiest men in this area. If you want what I think you want, you are about to make a mistake. Please don’t make me turn you away. I want you more than I want air to breathe.”
Hope and desire spread through Jillian like wildfire. She could feel her skin burning from the inside, craving his hands on her body. She turned the hand that was clasped in his over and linked fingers. William knew everything that was about to happen would be wrong. It was the first time in his life he was looking forward to being indecent.
~ ~ ~
They drove for almost an hour. Melissa’s curiosity got the absolute best of her when they pulled into a sprawling suburban neighborhood. The houses were on the smaller side but still seemed rich. Joshua pulled his car into a driveway and parked.
“This is my parents’ home. You asked about my family stories. No one knows the history better than my mother. I figured we could kill two birds with one stone. You can get all the background you want and I can get the satisfaction out of seeing you eat a real meal. Interested?”
Melissa nodded and got out of the car with him.
They walked up to the front door that opened before they could knock. Melissa saw a carbon copy of Joshua in woman form. From the dark, wavy hair to the deep-green eyes. The woman threw out her arms and embraced her son with an easy love Melissa ached for with her own mother. Then she found herself pinned with a new green-eyed stare.
“Mom, this is Melissa.”
From the way he said it, Melissa figured Joshua had told his mother about her. Before Melissa could be self-conscious of her outfit, the worn jeans and Springsteen T-shirt she had thrown on after her six a.m. shower, which had been sufficient for packing and an impromptu day in the library, she felt herself get thoroughly measured.
“She sure is skinny. Come on in, honey.” Melissa was led into a delightfully cheery living room that was bigger than the outside of the house made people believe. She spent the evening eating antipasto and having extremely loud and hysterically funny conversations. It flowed right into dinner of spaghetti with deep-red marinara sauce, thick, crusty Italian bread, and a leafy green salad. Melissa ate unconsciously, cleaning her plate without even realizing if she was still hungry or not.
Melissa learned many things about Joshua. Most of all she learned that he loved his family. She had never met Christian’s family and wondered about that fact. They moved into the living room with gelato and coffee. Joshua and Melissa were on the loveseat. His parents were on the couch, and his siblings, a brother and sister, both younger, were on the sitting on the floor.
“So why did you really come to visit?”
Joshua looked sheepishly exasperated at his mother.
Isadora beamed.
“I found Melissa in the library reading about our ancestors from the Native American line. She asked if I knew any history and I figured the best thing to do was to bring her right to the source.”
“Nice thinking. Suck up.” Joshua’s brother Ian rolled his eyes.
“Well, that was very thoughtful. Let me tell you my favorite story.” Isadora cleared her throat and transported the group to a whole other time. She told a story of love and life. She told about her great-great-grandfather winning the love of a daughter of a white man. He was an Indian but had decided to educate himself. He was raised as the wise-man and wanted to branch out from all the other normal ways he knew. The woman he loved had run from her family and come to live with him in his tribe, adopting their ways. Melissa thought it was over until the moment the story turned dark.
“Bianca was starting to get scared. Her husband had not returned from his trip into town. He never stayed away without telling her first. It was still a new world for her. As the night gave way to day, Bianca hitched up the one-person wagon and went to look for her man. She found him lying next to a tree five miles from their home. He had had his heart cut out. The next day, a group of the townspeople came to her home and forced her out. They said she was a woman and a widow and couldn’t keep her home because she didn’t own it. Her dead husband did.
“The land was transferred to another rich white man of the area and the girl went to her husband’s tribe, and lucky for her, they took her in. No one ever found out what had happened to my ancestor, why he was found the way he was. It’s something that’s never been resolved.”
Melissa prided herself on he
r amazing control. The reason her whole life felt more in balance whenever she was with Joshua was because their pasts were so deeply intertwined. Was he her future, or her ultimate downfall?
~ ~ ~
When Melissa walked back into her house after her very long evening, she turned to go upstairs and saw her mother standing next to the stairs. Melissa took a deep breath and braced herself for whatever was about to come out of her mother’s mouth.
“I have a feeling what I’m about to say to you will damage our relationship more extensively than it already is, however I don’t seem to care. I called Christian and persuaded him to talk to you a bit more about the two of you and your situation. You have dinner reservations tomorrow evening at eight.” As if unashamed by what she’d done, her mother lifted her chin in defiance and waited for her daughter’s fury. What she saw was total disinterest. Melissa shook her head, as if Anna was a meddling pain in the butt and should be ignored.
Melissa couldn’t even respond to her mother’s interference. It was after ten p.m. and all she wanted to do was fall face-first into her bed. She had eaten a huge meal that her body had appreciated and now her brain wanted to shut off. So she shrugged and continued to her room.
“Did you even hear what I said? I meddled into your life! I set up a stuffy dinner with a guy who’s mad at you!”
Anna was talking to Melissa’s retreating back and was shocked that her usual fight-not-flight daughter hadn’t batted an eye at the intrusion. Maybe it was worse than Anna realized.
~ ~ ~
The next afternoon, Melissa was elbow deep in books when her phone went off. Shuffling books and papers, she found it and was surprised to see Christian’s number on the screen. She took a deep breath and answered.
“Hello?” Melissa posed it as a question, wondering what he was calling about. They hadn’t spoken since he had climbed out her window. Melissa wasn’t that surprised about his silence but was instantly interested in what he was calling about.
Heartbeat Echoes Page 14