by Laura Ziepe
Lottie and Jacob were Holly’s priority. When she dated in future, it wasn’t just herself she had to think about. Her children were part of the package and they had to get on with her boyfriend too. Holly was starting to understand how different it was to date when you had children.
There was something else bothering Holly too. The more time she spent with Callum, the more she realized how much they had in common and how much she enjoyed his company. Even tonight, she hadn’t really wanted to leave him. Holly could kick herself. There was nothing she could do about it now.
She’d chosen the wrong one.
Fifteen minutes later, Holly inhaled before swiping her room key card in the hotel door. She felt anxious and she wasn’t sure why. She had known Kim since she was five, and she just knew, more than anything, that something was up. She could sense it. Holly could see a lampshade on in their bedroom as she walked past the bathroom.
‘Kim?’
Kim was sitting on the bed in her dressing gown. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and puffy, and Holly could see that she’d been crying.
‘Are you okay?’ Holly asked gingerly. ‘I tried calling you several times but it went through to voicemail. What’s wrong?’
‘Sorry,’ Kim answered, her voice croaky. ‘I was on the phone to Andy. Just wanted to check on him and the children back home. I didn’t feel great and decided to come back. Sorry I didn’t wait for you. Where did you and Emma get to anyway?’ she asked, her voice weak.
Holly sat on the edge of the bed, sighing in relief as she took her heels off. She hardly ever wore heels in the UK. Flats were her thing. Sandals, trainers, boots; she wore them all, so long as they were nice, flat and comfortable. Since becoming a mother, it was all she ever had on. Gone were the days of achy feet and burning soles, and Holly was looking forward to putting her heels to the back of her cupboard when she got home.
‘Emma needed to talk to me,’ she explained, leaning back on the bed. ‘It’s a long story and not really my place to say. I’m sure she’ll tell you about it all in her own time though.’
Kim nodded understandingly. ‘Fair enough.’
‘So what’s wrong then? How are you feeling?’ Holly pressed.
Kim didn’t look ill. She looked upset.
‘I don’t even know where to begin. Did you see Max before you left?’
‘Yes. Did you know he smokes? I couldn’t believe it when he said he was going outside for a cigarette. I hate smoking. I’ve always said I’d never get with somebody that smokes.’
‘No, I didn’t have the faintest idea,’ Kim replied.
‘Well he does. He wanted me to go back to his room after coming back to check on you,’ Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Can you believe he really thought I was going to wait up until he got back to the room after a night of partying to go round there?’
Kim sat in silence chewing her lip and studying her nails.
‘He just seems a bit … I don’t know, keen on one thing only.’
Kim closed her eyes for a few moments before speaking. ‘He tried it on with me, Holly. I didn’t want to tell you, but I can’t listen to you talk about him when he behaved the way he did towards me,’ she said ruefully. ‘He has no respect for you and didn’t care in the slightest if you had walked around the corner and caught him. He tried to kiss me.’
Holly was stunned. She felt like she’d been slapped round the face. Fair enough, she knew Max liked the ladies, but she couldn’t imagine he would be that much of a shit to try something with her best friend.
‘Please say something,’ Kim begged. ‘I know you did like him, and I’m really sorry. I had to tell you. You would have done the same for me, wouldn’t you?’
Holly felt a bit sick. She was mortified and couldn’t believe that Max would actually stoop so low and make her feel so worthless. It was beyond disrespectful. Did he think she was stupid or something? Did he honestly believe that Kim wouldn’t have told her? ‘I can’t believe it,’ Holly said breathlessly. ‘Tell me exactly what he did.’
Kim explained what had happened reluctantly. ‘I’m certain he likes you though, Holly. But I just wouldn’t trust him.’
‘Likes me?’ Holly let out a short bark of laughter, breathing heavily. ‘Kim, are you crazy? What kind of man tries it on with the best friend of the girl he likes? I’m a big girl now. I get it.’
‘I can’t believe he really thought I’d go for it; you should have seen how confident he was.’
‘Thank you for telling me,’ Holly responded, sitting on the bed. ‘As much as I’m annoyed at how badly he’s behaved, I’m not actually that bothered about him, Kim, so please don’t feel bad about anything. None of this is your fault.’
Kim’s expression changed to one of bewilderment. ‘What? I thought you liked him? You were only saying this morning …’
‘Changed my mind,’ Holly interrupted, shooting her a quick smile. ‘Max is gorgeous, anyone can see that. But he’s not for me, Kim; you were right. I’ve been thinking about it tonight and realize I’m still trying to get used to the idea that Rob has now moved on with someone else. That’s probably why I did what I did with Max so soon. I know it sounds bad, but the fact it was more my decision that Rob and I split up meant a part of me always assumed he would just be waiting there in the background in case I changed my mind. It’s stupid and selfish of me, but I just thought Rob would always be an option for me. Does that sound awful? Of course he wasn’t going to wait around.’
Kim looked thoughtful. ‘No, Holly. I think even a part of me thought you would probably get back together too. Now he’s met someone else it seems more final. There aren’t any rules as to how you should feel when your ex meets someone new and I do see why you’ve probably jumped in a bit quick with Max. I’ll be honest, I thought you were taking the whole Rob and Nikki thing surprisingly well.’
Holly smiled wryly. ‘Turns out that maybe I’m not; I haven’t even been on a date with someone else. How has he fallen in love without me knowing?’
‘I don’t know. No-one knows what lies ahead for you either though. You’ve always said you weren’t bothered about meeting someone else after Rob, but maybe, if you met the right person one day, you would change your mind?’
Holly nibbled her thumbnail. ‘Maybe. I’m in my thirties with two children who are my world; they will always come first before anything. I do wish I’d been wise enough not to fall for Max and his charm and it hasn’t made me feel any better about Rob like perhaps I was hoping. If I ever meet anyone again, they need to be mature and trustworthy. Loyal and dependable. Someone who is kind and cares about me. Someone …’
‘Like Callum?’ Kim suggested.
Holly gave a brittle laugh. ‘Well, I guess someone like him, yes. I can’t just move onto Max’s friend though, can I?’ she asked, looking over and studying Kim’s expression, keen to known her thoughts.
‘You mean like he did? I think it would be up to Callum to make his own mind up,’ Kim advised before glancing at Holly inquisitively. ‘If it was something you wanted to pursue, that is?’
Holly exhaled loudly. ‘I can’t. I just can’t do that now. I’ve already made the mistake of getting together with Max.’ Holly put her face in her hands morosely. Kim was right; she had always told herself she didn’t want to get into another relationship after Rob. She was done with men for good, and just wanted to focus on her beautiful children. She’d told herself that relationships were more hassle than they were worth. But somehow, with Rob meeting Nikki and her going to Las Vegas, she seemed to have become more open to the idea. If she was ever going to bring a man into her children’s lives, he needed to be special. She just felt a bit gutted that she’d started to have feelings for Callum, but she’d already blown it, before she even had the chance to work these feelings out. Before she’d even had the chance to see if he felt the same way. Of course, Holly had no idea if he was even interested or if they would even work together, but she couldn’t ignore the way she had started feeling a
round him, and she just felt so disappointed with herself that she’d slept with his mate. There was no way he would even consider her as anything more than a friend now.
‘Do you like Callum in that way?’ Kim asked, looking intrigued.
‘I think I do, yes. But it doesn’t matter, does it? It probably wouldn’t make me any better than Max if I did something about it.’
‘I don’t really think you should be worrying about Max and his feelings after tonight, so if you think there’s anything between you and Callum, my advice is to go for it.’
Holly shook her head. ‘It’s too late. I’m such an idiot,’ she said, feeling really annoyed with herself. She breathed out slowly. ‘I’m going to get some sleep,’ Holly told Kim, slipping into her pyjamas. ‘Don’t worry about the whole Max thing though, Kim. If it wasn’t you, I’m certain it would be somebody else.’
‘Yes, you’re probably right.’
Holly went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and Kim switched off the lamp when Holly got into bed.
‘How was Andy?’ Holly asked in the darkness. ‘How are the kids? I called my mum on the way back here, and then Rob so I could speak to Lottie. All is fine at home.’
‘Yes, everything is fine. He said how much they all miss me,’ she said groggily, sounding half asleep.
‘Ah, that’s so lovely,’ Holly said sleepily with a yawn. ‘Not that I’m surprised he said such a lovely thing. He adores you.’
‘You think we have the perfect relationship, Holly,’ Kim replied in a tiny, sleepy voice. ‘No-one knows what goes on behind closed doors.’
It took a while for Holly to realize what she’d said. ‘What do you mean?’ she asked curiously.
Silence filled the room until she heard Kim’s soft snores in the darkness.
Chapter 21
Emma
It was the day before Emma was due to be married and she couldn’t believe it. She lay in bed imagining how she was going to feel the next day. Would she be nervous? Would she spend the entire morning feeling anxious about walking down the aisle, terrified and silent as Holly did her hair and her make-up artist worked her magic? Would she be drinking far too much Prosecco to calm her nerves, her legs as wobbly as she walked down the aisle as though they were made out of jelly? The wedding had been the main topic of conversation ever since she and Charlie had got engaged and one of the only things she had thought about in months, and now it was here. Even her fans on social media were excited and as Holly picked up her mobile, her Instagram inbox was full of messages.
Eeeek wedding day tomorrow! You’re going to be the most stunning bride!
Wishing you luck for your big day! I can’t wait to see your dress!
Emma’s messages were making her feel even more overwhelmed and she wished everyone would just leave her alone for once. She hadn’t posted anything the night before. She just hadn’t been in the mood.
She was pleased she hadn’t drunk too much the previous evening; she felt fresh and awake. Her mind was clear. She cuddled up to Charlie who was still sleeping, enjoying the warmth emanating from his body. She felt better now she had spoken to Holly about her worries. She had shared her fears with someone and had made up her mind that she was going to talk to Charlie, to make sure he understood that she would go ahead and marry him, providing he agreed they got professional help of some kind. She was going to look into couple counselling as soon as she got the chance. Holly was right, their relationship wasn’t exactly normal and they just needed a bit of guidance. Emma knew she had to try. Emma remembered when Hannah, a family friend, had raved about it.
‘We see a man called Mr Carver and he’s done wonders for our relationship, honestly,’ she recalled her saying over coffee one summer’s day. ‘Honestly, Ben even helps with the cooking, cleaning and washing now, he’s like a new man.’
Perhaps Emma would get onto Hannah and find out Mr Carver’s details. She could certainly do with Charlie becoming a ‘new man’.
Charlie needed to understand that things couldn’t go on the way they were and perhaps, if someone else pointed out what needed to change, he would actually listen? She also needed to talk to him about his involvement in her career.
She had no idea what time he’d got back the previous night; she’d been so tired she’d fallen asleep straight away. He hadn’t wanted to come back with her again, but that was nothing new and Emma told herself it was just something she was going to have to get used to. Charlie liked his nights out and there was nothing wrong with that. She did wish he cared a little more if she got home safe or not, but perhaps she was just being oversensitive? Charlie stirred and turned to her with a smile.
Emma could tell he was in a good mood. She could tell from his twinkling eyes, the lines round them crinkling. She was going to be rewarded with the nice Charlie today. The one who made her delirious with happiness and love, like when they’d first got together. The Charlie she wished he would always be and the one that she wanted to marry.
‘Morning, wife to be,’ he said, kissing her lightly on the lips.
Emma was suddenly apprehensive about mentioning the counselling and emails as it would ruin the good mood. It seemed such a shame when he was clearly in such good spirits. But she knew that she had to. Time was running out. The wedding was tomorrow.
‘Did you have a good night?’ she asked him.
‘Yeah, it was good,’ he replied. ‘We ended up in a club in The Mirage. The Oak, I think it was called. I actually didn’t come back too late in the end; maybe just after two.’
Emma nodded. ‘I was out like a light. I didn’t hear a thing.’
‘I noticed,’ Charlie smiled in amusement. ‘You need to save yourself for the big day tomorrow,’ he said, pulling her in close to his chest. ‘Talking of the big day, we need to drive over to get our wedding licence this morning. Can’t get married without it and I think it’s about six miles away.’
‘Okay. We’ll go after breakfast and before my hair trial.’ He was so warm and Emma felt safe and comfortable. She would have given anything to just stay like that with him all day. To forget about all his faults and all the little things about their relationship she just knew she couldn’t ignore. If only it were that simple.
‘Who went out with you in the end?’ she enquired.
‘Dan, Carl and a few of my mates. Max and Callum came too,’ he laughed as he remembered the evening. ‘I think Max got lucky with one of the waitresses – I saw him going off with her at the end.’
Emma gasped. ‘You’re kidding?’ She clicked her tongue loudly, feeling a bit disgusted with him. Since she’d met Max at the gym, they’d become fairly close. Max could be a nice guy, but he didn’t seem to have much respect for women. As soon as he went out with one, he was on to the next. She probably should have warned Holly off him from the start, but even Emma hadn’t known he was this bad; sleeping with anyone who was willing. Holly was going to be crushed. Holly didn’t let her guard down easily, and meeting people like Max wasn’t helping. He was a joke.
‘Nope. Small blonde girl with long hair.’
Emma shook her head. ‘Poor Holly.’
‘He’s not her boyfriend,’ Charlie pointed out.
‘Yes I know that, but still. He was only with her the night before; I think it’s gross. He needs to grow up.’
He stared at her with a faint smile on his lips.
‘What?’ she asked him, feeling confused.
‘You’re just so considerate of others’ feelings,’ he replied fondly, ‘you’re so caring. I think it’s sweet how you think about others all the time.’ He gazed at her intently. ‘I’m a lucky man to be marrying you,’ he said, sliding his hand into hers under the bed sheets.
Emma smiled back at him, knowing it was now or never. ‘Charlie,’ she began hesitantly. ‘We need to talk,’ she told him seriously.
He instantly looked alarmed, sitting up in bed and leaning on his elbow. ‘Of course. What’s wrong?’
Emma tucked her hair beh
ind her ears. ‘Charlie, things can’t go on the way they are with us,’ she stated with certainty. Her stomach was dancing with nerves wondering how he was going to take it. ‘I really mean it. I love you with all my heart and there’s nothing I want more than to be your wife, but I think you need help. Sorry, that came out wrong,’ she muttered. ‘I think we, as a couple, need help. I want to try couples’ counselling when we get home. We have to change the way things are, Charlie. I’m not so certain I can handle your mood swings for the rest of my life.’ There, she’d said it. Emma had finally been strong enough to admit the truth to him. It was like she’d been struggling under water for all this time and now she’d finally come out for air. Either Charlie changed or she couldn’t be with him. She held her breath waiting for his answer.
‘Of course,’ he said gently, as though he’d been expecting her to say that. ‘I agree.’ He rubbed her shoulder tentatively. ‘I’ll go anywhere you want me to,’ he told her. ‘Please don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts about marrying me?’ he said in a shaky voice. There was an expression on his face she didn’t recognize; Charlie appeared nervous.
‘No,’ she lied. ‘But I need things to change between us, Charlie. I need you to promise me that they’ll change. There’s something else too …’ she broke off anxiously.
‘What is it?’
She took a deep breath. ‘Firstly, I appreciate you’ve helped me with my career and how far I’ve come, but recently I’ve seen emails, Charlie. Ones I didn’t know anything about. There was one the other day from a sportswear company, saying they wanted to go ahead with us modelling their clothes? What on earth is all that about? Why were you emailing and signing off as me? You’ve never once spoken to me about it. Then there’re all these other companies you’ve emailed. I saw them when I looked at the sent items.’
Charlie was taken aback. ‘What sportswear company?’ he asked, looking puzzled, before the light dawned on him. ‘Oh, I know the one,’ he shrugged his shoulders looking unconcerned. ‘I thought it would be good for the both of us, that’s all. A nice thing to do together where we could make some money too. What’s the problem?’