by Laura Ziepe
She had to agree. Holly and the make-up artist had done a fabulous job and somehow, even after just a few hours’ sleep, she did look nice. It was just a shame she didn’t feel it and couldn’t join in their enthusiasm.
‘Shall we get the dress on?’ Holly suggested. ‘We actually don’t have that long left and I’m worried about how long it takes the do the buttons up at the back.’
Emma raised a meagre smile. ‘Okay.’
‘You seem really calm,’ Danni added. ‘I’m not so sure I would be on my wedding day,’ she laughed loudly, clearly getting a little merry from the champagne.
Holly helped her into the dress.
‘Gorgeous dress, Emma,’ Kim said, looking in the mirror as she applied her lip gloss.
It was a large room but there seemed to be too many people in it, and as Holly started buttoning up the dress, she felt even more like the room was closing in on her.
‘Emma, Frankie has asked where you put Charlie’s new cufflinks? He’s on the phone now,’ Fran called.
‘Emma, the photographer is asking whether he should go to Charlie’s room now. Shall I tell him you want him here a bit longer?’ Danni asked. ‘Are you dressed yet?’
‘Em, did you want to go ahead with the hair piece?’ Kim was asking. ‘Don’t want to worry you, but we should get it in before we run out of time. Holly will need to put it in.’
‘God, these buttons. There’s so many of them,’ Holly exhaled from behind her, sounding a little stressed that time was running out. ‘Beautiful dress, but my gosh, they certainly didn’t take into consideration how long it would take the bride to get into it!’
‘Where’s your perfume, Emma? The photographer has asked to take a photo of it along with your shoes?’
Emma felt the heat creep up to her cheeks and she threw her hands up to her face, which felt as though it was on fire. She needed to get out of there. ‘Just stop,’ she said abruptly to Holly, who stood there open-mouthed. ‘Everyone just stop,’ she said, loudly this time.
Everyone stood there gawping at her as Emma picked up the train of her dress, and with no explanation ran from the room.
Chapter 31
Emma
As Emma made her way to Charlie’s hotel room, she felt her stomach fizz with nerves like never before. But she had to tell him, despite how terrified she was. The wedding was off. She wouldn’t and couldn’t go through with it. The easy thing would be to just run away, but Emma knew she had to face up to him. Even though he could be terribly unkind, Charlie deserved more than that.
Now here she was, despite agreeing to Frankie she would go ahead with the wedding, standing outside the room where Charlie was. Where she hoped he still was anyway; what if he’d already left for the chapel? She felt short of breath and started to sweat, even though it was freezing with the air-conditioned on full blast. Emma tried to steady herself against the wall outside the hotel room that Charlie was staying in, taking deep breaths. The very same room where she’d slept all week. She’d booked the other room on a different floor where she was supposed to have stayed last night. The room where she was supposed to be adding the final touches right now. She wondered what the others were going to make of all this. This wedding was going to be talked about for years. The bride who changed her mind on the day of her wedding. The bride who had already got married the evening prior. It was absolutely ridiculous. Laughable.
She tapped on the door, startled when she heard laughter from inside. Then it occurred to her, that of course, Charlie had company in there. The groom didn’t typically get ready alone, just like the bride. The ushers, his father and Frankie would all be in there with him.
Jason, one of Charlie’s ushers opened the door, taken aback when he noticed it was Emma standing there in her dress. He paled and closed the door hastily, so he was just peeping through a crack.
‘What are you doing here? I don’t think you’re supposed to see each other before the wedding. It’s bad luck,’ he informed her in a hushed voice.
Emma’s mouth twitched uncomfortably as she spoke. ‘I need to see Charlie. I need to speak to him, alone, and I need everyone else to leave the room. It can’t wait. It’s urgent,’ she said boldly, her insides turning to jelly.
‘What? Right now?’ He gawped at her as though she’d lost the plot. ‘Okay, one minute,’ he closed the door.
Emma’s heart galloped with nerves, wondering what was being said behind the door. She could hear muffled voices but had no idea what they were saying .
Charlie’s dad opened the door, attempting a smile, coming outside and closing it behind him. ‘Is everything alright, Emma? Did you need something?’ His bright voice and smile didn’t match his worried, narrowed eyes. His forehead was crinkled up like tin foil.
‘I need to see Charlie right now. I need to speak to him and we need to be alone. This isn’t a joke,’ she said with urgency. ‘It can’t wait.’
His eyes swept over her with a look of concern and his smile vanished. ‘Right,’ he cleared his throat, a look of worry crossing his face. ‘Very well. How long do you need? Are you sure it’s not something I can help with?’
‘Unfortunately not,’ she said regretfully. ‘We’re going to need a while – I can’t say how long. But I do know the sooner I see him, the better.’
He nodded obediently and then a few moments later, he was coming back out of the room along with three of Charlie’s ushers and Frankie.
‘Emma,’ Frankie hissed as he walked past, ‘what are you doing?’
‘The thing I should have done this morning,’ she told him with certainty. She sounded a lot braver than she felt.
He nodded then, knowing anything he said in attempt to change her mind would be futile, looking away and following the others.
Charlie’s eyes were wide with fear and surprise when Emma walked into the room. ‘Emma, what’s going on?’ He looked her up and down, becoming distracted. ‘You look beautiful by the way,’ he told her, his eyes roaming up and down from her hair and make-up to her dress. ‘Wow.’ Then his expression changed and he looked perturbed once more. ‘Are you okay? Why are you here now? You’re scaring me. You’re the one who said how important it is that we don’t see each other this morning,’ he reminded her. ‘Shouldn’t you be getting ready with the girls? I thought you wanted to keep your dress a big surprise?’
Emma felt as though she couldn’t swallow, her mouth completely dry. She felt like her heart was going to burst with its excessive beating. Her shoulders were hunched gloomily as she descended into the chair in the corner of the room. She was gasping for a drink and reaching out, she poured herself some water from a glass bottle by the television. ‘You may want to sit down. I need to talk to you.’
Charlie sat on the edge of the bed, opposite her. He looked so vulnerable sitting there, waiting to hear his fate. He looked fearful, and Emma knew then that he had guessed. He wasn’t going to make it over the finishing line after all. He’d pushed Emma too far and lost her.
His breathing was audible and he sounded out of breath, even though he wasn’t moving.
‘Charlie, I don’t know how to even start,’ Emma tailed off, twisting her fingers, feeling discomfited. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I can’t marry you. It’s not right between us and I know that in my heart.’
He exhaled slowly, putting his head in his hands as though he couldn’t face her. As though by not facing her he was blocking out what she was saying.
‘I do love you,’ Emma continued, feeling abysmal, ‘but you know as well as I do that our relationship isn’t healthy. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells all the time. I never know what mood you’re going to be in or if certain things are going to upset you. Half the time I’m not even sure you really like me. I have to pretty much beg to get you to talk to me again.’ She shook her head. ‘I just feel as though our relationship isn’t stable. It’s unpredictable and you can get nasty. I can’t live like that, Charlie.’
He looked up at her then, with plead
ing, watery eyes. ‘I’ll change, Emma. I thought we spoke about all this? I’ll do anything, anything …’ His voice cracked with emotion and he seemed to shrink. ‘How can you do this to me? We’re supposed to be to getting married. I love you. I’ll change and be the man you need me to be. Please, Emma. Don’t do this to me. You can’t,’ he said gently, a tear rolling down his cheek.
Emma wiped her own tears away. She knew he was going to say this, but it didn’t make it any easier. It felt strange hearing him plead with her, not the other way round, and she knew she had to be strong and stick to her guns. She couldn’t let him change her mind. She didn’t trust it would ever work between them and she reminded herself of the relief she had felt when she thought she’d married Frankie. It wouldn’t be fair on herself or Charlie if she allowed him to talk her back round.
‘Charlie, I will forever be sorry for not being brave enough to end it sooner between us. I feel terrible for doing this to you right now; it’s the worst timing possible. But my mind is made up. I can’t marry you. I just hope one day you find it in your heart to forgive me.’
Charlie sobbed then, and Emma couldn’t stop herself from putting her arms around him. She knew she had broken his heart and she felt wretched. She remembered her first-ever boyfriend who had broken up with her years ago and how she’d felt desolate afterwards. She had grieved as if he had died. She had been low for months after and she wouldn’t wish that feeling on her worst enemy. Yet here she was doing the same thing to someone else. This was worse too, much worse. She caught sight of them hugging in the mirror and thought how strange they would look to an outsider. Emma looked every bit as a bride should: wearing a beautiful ivory dress, not a single hair out of place, her make-up flawless. The tell-tale red blotches remained splattered across her chest though, giving away the fact that she was hot, bothered and stressed. Charlie, who was usually full of such bravado, looked broken and frail. He appeared dazed and confused as though he’d banged his head and couldn’t quite work out who and where he was.
‘Please, Emma.’ He begged again, whispering in her ear. His hands were shaking as he placed them into her own.
Emma pulled away, biting the flesh of her lower lip. ‘I’m so sorry, Charlie. I really am.’
He stiffened and his jaw set. ‘After everything I’ve done for you,’ he hissed. His face screwed tight as though he was in immense pain, he walked out of the door.
Chapter 32
Holly
Fran’s hand flew to her mouth in horror. ‘I don’t believe it!’ she squawked, hanging up her phone to whoever she’d been speaking to. ‘The wedding is off! That was Frankie on the phone. I can’t get through to her. Has everyone tried calling Emma? What on earth is all this about?’
Fran was someone Holly would describe as a ‘flapper’. She was a drama queen at the best of times, always looking stunned and concerned by the smallest things. She was the last person you would choose to have around you in a crisis. The type of person that just made things even worse.
Holly tried Emma once more, but she was sure her attempts would be in vain. If Emma had cancelled the wedding, which wasn’t actually a massive surprise after the conversation they’d had, she wasn’t going to want to speak to anyone. ‘Straight to voicemail,’ she said regretfully.
‘Oh, this is just ridiculous,’ Fran said in bafflement. ‘She can’t do this and then just run away.’
‘I can’t believe she’s cancelled it, can you?’ Kim said quietly so only Holly could hear her.
‘I think there’s a lot more to it,’ Holly said carefully. ‘It’s better that she cancelled the wedding than went through with it and regretted it, don’t you think?’
‘I thought she was acting quiet this morning,’ Emma’s cousin said.
‘Yes, she hardly said a word, did she?’ Danni agreed, looking as though she was actually enjoying the commotion. ‘I just thought she was nervous.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever known this to actually happen before. I dread to think how much money has been wasted here,’ Fran tutted loudly, still looking absolutely flabbergasted. ‘I was really looking forward to today as well …’ she tailed off, mumbling to herself.
‘Shall we go try to find her?’ Kim suggested.
‘Yes, there’s nothing else we can be doing really, is there?’ Holly replied. ‘She must be feeling awful.’
They slipped out the room without the others taking much notice.
‘Any idea where she might be?’ Kim asked, as they walked outside.
Holly stood there thoughtfully, remembering the comment Emma had made about the water fountains. If there was ever a time for peace and tranquillity, it was now. ‘Actually, I do,’ she told Kim as they hopped into a yellow taxi. ‘Take us to the Bellagio Hotel, please.’
Ten minutes later and Holly had noticed Emma immediately. It wasn’t as though you could miss her. She stood out like a sore thumb with her disconsolate expression and the fact she was still wearing her wedding dress. She was attracting stares from everyone.
‘Oh my God, she’s still in the dress,’ Kim whispered in horror.
‘Come on, let’s go over there,’ Emma said, making her way through the chairs and tables.
Emma’s eyes flicked up at them as they sat down, but her expression stayed the same, as though she’d been expecting them to come all along.
‘So,’ Holly began slowly, ‘you changed your mind.’ It was a statement rather than a question.
‘How are you feeling, Em?’ Kim asked.
Emma sniffed. ‘You both probably think I’m a terrible person,’ she said in a small voice. ‘I mean, who actually dumps their fiancé just before they’re supposed to get married?’
They sat in silence for a few moments.
‘I actually think it’s a very brave thing to do,’ Holly told her honestly.
‘Charlie probably hates me, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go through with something I knew was wrong. I have to trust my gut,’ Emma told them, staring into space, deep in thought. ‘My phone hasn’t stopped buzzing and ringing, and I’m just ignoring it. I’m ignoring everyone, running away. I’ve even had to delete my Instagram temporarily because of the messages from people I don’t even know, wishing me a happy wedding day,’ she let out a light, caustic laugh, ‘which as you can see is going just to plan. Everyone thinks I have an enviable, perfect life when in reality, I was about to marry a man I knew wasn’t right for me. Now I’ve broken up with him and am sitting in a hotel looking like a complete nutjob in my wedding dress, which still isn’t even done up at the back.’ She gave a real, genuine laugh then and Kim and Holly couldn’t help but smile back, despite the sadness of the situation.
Emma’s face darkened. ‘I just wanted to be happy and settled, you know? I want so much to have my own children like you girls, start a family. The sad thing is, I actually did think Charlie was my future at one point. I’m not sure when I started to question whether I could be with him forever, but I should never have let it get this far. I love him, but sometimes love just isn’t enough. When I first met him I was so self-conscious about my weight, so down about myself, and I felt so elated that he liked me anyway and wanted to be with me. But then when I lost all the weight, he was constantly putting me down; reminding me that it was him who had helped me get to where I was. He was continually pointing out how much I needed him, to the point that in the end, I believed it. I felt like I couldn’t be without him, but I know now that he’s just controlling and manipulating me. Even being thinner, I’m not the most confident person in the world, and that’s just something that I need to work on. I need to learn to love myself for who I am inside, and I’m fine with that.’
‘What are you going to do?’ Kim asked. ‘We’ll help in any way we can.’
Emma looked at them both gratefully. ‘Thank you so much. I really appreciate you coming to find me. I don’t know what to do now really. But I do know the first thing I need to do is get this dress off,’ she half smiled. ‘
I’m aware of how peculiar I look.’
‘Nah,’ Holly smiled warmly, and squeezed her hand. ‘We’re in Vegas. Seeing women in wedding dresses at all hours of the day is the norm.’
They stood up, making their way to the exit.
‘That reminds me,’ Emma said sheepishly. ‘There’s something I have to tell you about what happened last night.’
Kim’s phone started ringing and she answered it, looking pleased to see it was Andy calling.
‘Hi, everything okay?’ She stood still as she listened to Andy speak. ‘I’m at the Bellagio Hotel. Something has happened. Why?’ Kim turned her back on them and walked off to talk alone.
‘I forgot all about that,’ Emma said as they waited for Kim.
‘Forgot all about what?’
‘Andy. It was supposed to be a surprise. He was coming to the wedding. He’s here in Vegas.’
Chapter 33
Kim
‘Seriously?’ Kim asked, her mouth opening in disbelief. ‘Where are you? This isn’t a joke, is it?’
‘No, I promise you. I’m at the wedding chapel, but they’re telling me it’s not going ahead or something. What’s going on?’ he asked, bemused. ‘I’m not at the wrong place, am I?”
‘The wedding is off,’ Kim told him gravely, a million questions going through her mind.
‘Seriously?’
‘Emma changed her mind. Holly and I are with her now.’
‘Goodness. I guess I’ll head to my hotel then if you can come and meet me.’
‘Course. Where is it?’
‘I actually booked a really nice room for us at The Wynn where the wedding was supposed to be happening. I arranged it all with Emma – are you surprised?’
Kim’s heartbeat was echoing in her ears. ‘Yes, I can’t believe it,’ she managed. ‘Who has …’
‘Your parents have the children,’ he interjected, obviously knowing this was going to be a concern for her. ‘Don’t worry. They couldn’t wait to spend the night over at their house.’